by Urban, Ami
From the desk of Dr. Lisa Reynolds – April 20
I’d decided to take two weeks away from the hospital. While it wasn’t easy to approve between Dr. Wood and Brendon, I was able to ease some tensions by allowing a twice-per-week review of all problem cases. Brendon would drop by in the afternoons and hand me some charts. After an hour or two of work, he’d spend a bit of time with Jack, then be on his way. I was happy that the two of them got along so well. What I wasn’t happy about was that Brendon had gotten Jack into the habit of smoking cigarettes.
The first few days of my time off was spent running around and nursing my husband back to health. Thankfully, no more hallucinations had burrowed their way into his subconscious and the Oxycontin was actually helping. After his morning dose of ten milligrams, he’d be all smiles. And he couldn’t keep his hands off me.
This morning, I awoke to an empty bed. The door to the children’s room was hanging open. They weren’t in their beds. Checking the time, thoughts began to run rampant in my brain. Jumping to conclusions wasn’t my forte, but for some reason, dread had taken hold of my midsection. Had Jack had another hallucination? Had he taken the children somewhere?
I didn’t have time to answer my own questions because Lexi passed by, glancing my way. “Oh, you’re up.”
I sat up in bed, pushing the wild hair from my eyes. “Where’s Rex? And Jack?” I cleared the leftover sleep from my throat.
Her expression remaining stoic and calm, she said, “Come get a load of this.”
Downstairs, breakfast had been set out and picked almost clean by the guests. I snagged a croissant before spotting Raychel with two mugs of something hot. When she was within distance, she smiled, then handed me one of them.
“Here. Dr. B makes this himself.”
I took the mug. The steam curled into the air. The sweet, rich smell of coffee greeted my senses. Relief flooded through me, causing my muscles to sag.
“I can’t believe it.” I took a sip. The caffeine washed over me in a wave. It was beautiful. And I was awake. “Thank you.” The words emerged from me in a whisper of ecstasy. Raychel threw her whole body into a laugh.
“Jack was right. You do miss coffee.”
I smiled, looking over to see Lexi near the parlor. She motioned me over. I thanked Raychel one last time for the life-giving drink and headed over to the door. My amygdala went into fight or flight mode. My heart began to pound. Lexi pushed the door open with one hand.
“Truck.” Rex was on his tip-toes, looking over a scale model of Huntington House. Everything was a smaller version of itself. Even the trees. And the truck in the driveway.
“That’s right.” Jack stooped down to look at my son. “What about…” He looked back over the table, then pointed to the porch swing. “What’s that?”
Rex screwed up his face. “That.”
“No.” Jack pointed at his nose. “We talked about this, kid. We practiced all morning!”
“Swing.”
“What kind?” Jack tapped the small wooden slats of the replica porch.
“Porch. Swing,” my son said.
Jack met my gaze and smiled. “Yep. Good going, kid.”
“Momma!” Rex ran to me, his dark eyes alight for the first time in a while. “I know porch. Swing. Truck!”
Words refused to come to me. Rex had strung a sentence together. Sure, it was a short one, but he’d done it. And he’d used the correct words. Jack had spent the morning tutoring my son.
“You do.” My fingers tangled in his soft hair.
“I know.”
“That’s right, kid.” Jack stood, pausing for a moment with his hand on one knee, then pushing himself the rest of the way. “What else did we learn today?”
Rex turned to the side but didn’t look at Jack. “I want curious.”
My husband and I exchanged glances. For some reason, I couldn’t take my eyes off him. Not only was he a magnificent creature aesthetically, now I could add being a father to that mess of things he was good at.
“He learned to use his words.” Jack smiled.
“I want nums.”
“Ah…” Jack came toward me, grabbing Rex’s attention again. “Not nums. What is it?”
Rex’s face scrunched into a ball. “Bacon.”
Jack tossed his head back in a laugh. “Close enough, kid. Right after my own heart.” He smiled as he placed a hand on his chest.
“Agreed.” Lexi reached out to my son. “Let’s get some bacon, little dude.”
Once they were gone, Jack came the rest of the way to me. “Take a walk?”
I nodded, unable to form any coherent sentences. It was as if he’d taken them all from me. And for once, I didn’t mind. He took my free hand and pulled me toward the front door.
The seasonal snow had all melted and the trees were in full bloom. White blossoms fluttered to the grass like tiny flecks of soap. The day was cool. The breeze perfect.
“I got him to say thirteen new words,” my husband said, lacing his fingers with mine. He brushed a blossom from his shoulder.
Looking out over the courtyard, I relived the moment we arrived at Huntington House more than a year prior. That day, infected people swarmed the grass. And when they saw us, they’d tore over as fast as they could. Our vehicle had no brakes, so we’d been forced to crash into the brick wall at the south side of the house. Then my seatbelt had gotten stuck and Jack rescued me. For the umpteenth time.
“Oh-kay.” He drew the word out, stopped and faced me. “What’s goin’ on in that pretty head of yours?”
But I wasn’t even sure. So many things were going through my head that I couldn’t sort through them all in a timely manner. “I don’t know.”
Jack frowned. I didn’t like it. “Was I not supposed to—”
“Oh, no!” I put up both my hands. “No, no. What you did with Rex this morning was…” I trailed off, getting lost in his hazel eyes.
He leaned forward. “Was…?”
I opened my mouth, but the words wouldn’t come. It was like everything was stuck just below my diaphragm and it wouldn’t budge. Shaking my head to try and dislodge some of the extraneous weight on my subconscious, I regrouped.
“Above and beyond. It was just…prodigious and supernal.”
Jack screwed up his face. “Can I get that list in English?”
“That is English.”
A smile tugged at one corner of his mouth. “You know what I mean.”
I did. “It was amazing. You’re out of this world. I cannot believe you’d take the time to teach him.”
Seeming to be impressed with himself, he puffed out his chest. “Well, why didn’t you say so?”
***
It was almost supper when the first dose of Oxycontin wore off. Jack was in the middle of showing Lexi some engine diagrams when he sort of shut down.
“Alternator… Air control…” Lexi touched her fingertips to each part as she said it aloud.
“Yup. Yup.” His words were curt. His right knee began to bounce.
“A/C coil…”
“Yeah.”
I looked up from my spot on the floor playing with Rex’s cars. He’d been crashing them into each other with intermittent shrieks of laughter. When one tore out his throat, I saw Jack wince.
“Can you, uh… Can he do that somewhere else?” He rubbed his temples with two fingers on each hand.
“What’s this one?” Lexi had her index finger pressed against the paper.
Jack, closing one eye against what looked like a spontaneous migraine, leaned over the table. A breath of air from his lungs puffed onto the diagram. It lifted briefly before fluttering back down.
“Well…what’s it look like?” He dropped his head into one palm, letting his breath out in a long whoosh.
“Crash!” Rex smashed two plastic cars together as he yelled.
“Lisa, please…”
“Why can’t you just tell me?” Lexi was looking up at him now, her eyebrows low.
>
Closing his eyes and lifting his brows, Jack said, “If I tell you, you won’t learn.” The emphases on his words were coated with a gruff, pained tone.
Lexi kept watching him. “That doesn’t make any sense.”
“What’s it next to?” The sentence emerged from his chest with a sigh. His leg bounced harder.
“The capacitor.”
“Which capacitor?”
Rex let out another shriek and something ribboned its way through my husband’s body. “Lisa…” His voice was low and commanding. “Please get him out of here.”
“Alright.” I stood to accept my son, but he wasn’t having it.
“I want play.”
“Yes, Sweetie. We can go up to your room and play.”
“No! I want play here.”
“Lisa…”
I glanced at my husband. His tone was not one I appreciated. “I’m working on it.” I hadn’t meant for mine to be that curt, either.
“Can’t you just tell me?” Lexi bobbed in her seat, eager to learn.
Jack rubbed a hand over his face. “Which capacitor is it next to?”
“That one.”
“No.” He heaved a sigh, his elbows perched on his knees, hands between them. “What’s it called?”
“Crash!”
In a movement so swift I barely had time to register it, Jack stood from the sofa, his fists clenched at his sides.
“Are you gonna handle that or do I have to? Jesus, Lisa, it’s not rocket science!”
I set my expression to one of a muted scolding. I tried to make it unreadable. Once Rex was in my arms, he began to fidget. But even when the toe of his shoe made contact with my ribs, I didn’t wince.
“I’m taking care of it.”
“Oh, my God. Can you just tell me what the part is already?”
Even quicker than before, Jack spun on his heel to face Lexi. “It’s the fucking mass air flow sensor. It’s right next to the Goddamn noise suppression capacitor. Is this really that difficult to understand?!”
The room was silent for a few moments. Not even Rex made a peep. It was as if we were all holding our breath to see what would come next. Jack was still glaring down at Lexi who’d set her expression as I had. I could see the glisten of tears behind it, but she pushed them away somehow.
“Wow…” The word sounded apathetic. A teenager’s tone. “You’re a dick.” The sentence came with a sarcastic tilt of her head. Then, she stood. “Goodnight Aunt Lisa.”
“Goodnight,” I replied quietly.
“‘Night, asshole.” She tossed him a wave as she left the living room.
“Did you fucking hear what she just said to me?” He flipped on me, his burning gaze tearing into my soul.
“Yes.”
“What are you going to do about it?”
“Nothing.”
“What?” The word was sharp, pointed, barbed. It hit me in the chest, driving right through my heart.
“I’m not going to do anything about it. Her reaction was actually rather collected.”
Jack shut his eyes, his tented fingers covering them. “I’m not talking about the way she reacted. I’m talking about what she said to me. She can’t speak to me that way!”
“I should say the same for you.” It was mean, but his behavior was uncalled for. Even with pain, there was no reason to act like that with his own children.
I thought perhaps he couldn’t get angrier. Until that moment. He leaned in until our noses were almost touching. Rex cowered into my chest.
“You’re her mother now. Do something.” With that, he turned on his heel and left the room. A few seconds later, the front door opened and slammed shut. I took a deep breath to still my shuddering heart and ascended the stairs to our room.
“Jaggy mad.” Rex’s words were quiet, driving my blood pressure through the roof.
“It’s alright, Rex,” I said.
When we made it to the children’s room, Lexi was pulling the covers back from her bed and grumbling to herself. I only caught the last half.
“…freaking jerk.” She straightened. “You know, he’s gonna learn real quick what he can and can’t say to me.” Her head turned to the side to regard me.
My heart swelled with both pride and fear in that moment. She’d become such a strong young woman. Everything about her independence made me want to hug her tight. She was a unique soul.
I sighed, hefting Rex into his bed. He kicked his feet a few times before I pointed at his nose and shook my head. “Your Uncle Jack is—”
“Aunt Lisa… I think for now let’s just call him Jack, okay?” She’d turned to face me, her eyes shimmering. But I could see that she was refusing to cry.
“Okay.” I sat on Rex’s bed, absently stroking his hair. “Jack is in a lot of pain.”
“What? I don’t get periods? I don’t get cramps? I don’t fall down sometimes? That’s not an excuse to act like a toddler.” She’d placed her hands on her hips, the waver in her voice disappearing.
I almost couldn’t hide the smile that pulled at my lips. “I agree. But we really should give him space. It’s not easy trying to deal with that amount of discomfort.”
She put her arms out to her sides. “I have no problem with that. I’ll give him the most space I’ve ever given anyone.”
I watched her for a time, wondering where she’d gained the intuition and intelligence from. Lexi had street smarts that could rival anyone’s. They were rather impressive. “You know?” I stood, approaching her. “Maybe it’s time you get your own room.”
Her eyes lit up as she bobbed her head up and down. “Yes!”
“Okay,” I said, smiling at her. She was almost as tall as I was. “I’ll speak to Ms. Huntington in the morning.” We embraced. “For now, I’ll speak to your—Jack.”
***
Upon descending the stairs to the living room, I watched my husband step into the house from outside. His boots were covered in mud for some reason. He muttered something about it being too dusty out there.
“Jack?”
He snapped his head up at me. Something in his eyes was off. He must have just taken his second dose of the day. It was as though something else took over. And yet, it was still Jack.
I came down the last few steps, clutching the robe I’d thrown on. “Jack. Are you alright?”
“Yeah.” His voice sounded different. A bit deeper than I recall. But again, it could’ve been a side effect of taking another dose.
“Okay, well, let’s have a conversation about Lexi.” Motioning for him to follow me, I started back up the stairs. But then, his normal tone was back.
From behind me, he asked, “Are you serious?”
The incredulity in his voice made me turn around, my eyes widening. “Yes. Of course.” I made the same motion with my right arm for him to follow, but he stayed put. “The situation in the parlor wasn’t conducive to a productive conversation, and we need to rectify it.”
“Like I haven’t heard those exact words before…”
It was an odd response to what I’d said. Not that it didn’t make sense in context, but it wasn’t quite what I’d expected. I stood there, both hands clasped at my chest, trying to weigh the probability of his statement.
Then it hit me. He was joking. “Oh!” I pressed my fingertips against my mouth to stop the chuckle. “I suppose I could’ve used…less words.”
Jack’s expression changed into a more relaxed one. “You’re so hot when you giggle like that.”
A random, powerful ache formed in the pit of my stomach. Arousal caused my cheeks to flush further. And the way he was looking at me…
“Jack…”
“Lisa.”
I shook my head. “Can we go upstairs, please?”
After glancing down at his muddy boots, he grinned. “Meet you up there.”
Pursing my lips, I nodded. Then, I swept up the stairs, my heart thudding. Why? Why did I feel as though I’d gotten in trouble? As if I’d done so
mething I shouldn’t have? The way his words made me feel. No, it wasn’t his words… It was his voice. I enjoyed the husky gruffness the testosterone laced it with.
More heat pooled into my midsection as I opened the bedroom door. All I could think about was how excited I was for him to return. But, was it excitement? Or was I…anxious?
A quiver inched its way into the skin on my stomach. My thighs were shaking. My nipples had hardened. What was going on?
The door creaked open. I spun to face Jack for the second time as he entered the room. When our gazes met, a slash that felt almost like fear crossed my thorax. Why was I afraid? He wasn’t intimidating.
Well, I suppose he could be. He was quite tall and well-built. And he wouldn’t stop staring at me. But it wasn’t a leer. It was more of a smoldering gaze. And it crossed a boundary inside me. My hormones went right over the edge. All I wanted to do was go to him. But I stopped myself. “We need to talk about Lexi.” My voice sounded too far away.
“Okay.” That hot, gravelly tone had returned.
“But…I just…can’t stop thinking about you naked.”
A veil passed before his eyes. “What’s that got to do with her?”
I paused. “Nothing, obviously. And I’d prefer if you were serious during this conversation and not making jokes.”
He scratched a hand through his sandy hair. It bounced back into a well-styled mess. “What’s new? I’ve always been—”
“I apologize.” I shook my head, sighing. “That was rude. I’m just…” But the words didn’t come to me. I’d had them, but they fell just out of my grasp when Jack reached his hand behind his head to take his shirt off. I watched it glide over the smooth muscles of his stomach. He tossed it into the corner, then looked back at me.
“You okay, Babe?”
Electric shocks began to pepper my body. In that moment, I wished he’d stick to my name. But I just couldn’t help being very, very excited.
“No.”
His expression changed three times. It went from concern, to shock to illuminated. His cheeks flushed slightly. I almost didn’t notice it. But then I was aware of his scent. And it wasn’t anything he’d put on. It was his own, natural smell. It was intoxicating. I cannot put it into words.
