by Urban, Ami
“Yes. Exactly how you’re thinking.”
I froze halfway to her. Because I wasn’t sure how to react. Looking back, it was funny as hell. That was a good fucking zinger. But in that moment, I was processing like, eight emotions. Plus, seventy milligrams of Oxy.
Just fucking put your dick in her already, man.
Seriously. If your neck was real, I’d fucking wring it, dude. Fuck off.
“Oh.” It was all that came out when I opened my mouth.
She came the rest of the way to me, pressing her chest into mine. Even through the fabric of my t-shirt, I could feel she wasn’t wearing a bra. And I couldn’t stop my hands from going instantly to her hips and squeezing. “It’s been too long, Jack.” Her voice was a sexy sigh of its former self.
I had to check to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating again. But nope. One pinch and I knew. Everything was as real as it’d ever been. This beautiful woman before me wanted me. Me.
“I really like your hair long like this.” I reached my hand up to her ponytail, toying with a small strand of it, twirling it around my finger.
“Really? I feel like it gets in the way.”
I shook my head, then kissed her. “No.” I kissed her again. “I love it.”
She hummed a soft appreciative sigh into my mouth. A nice little tingle of pleasure ran up and down my spine. Her skin was soft beneath mine, enticing me to keep going.
My hand found its way to her left breast, gliding over the soft cotton of her shirt. Her nipple hardened beneath my palm. The flesh of her exposed tummy felt cool as I slipped my fingers into her jeans. Lisa was like silk inside. I loved it. And she loved what I was doing.
I pushed her back against my bench of tools, reaching behind her to tap the garage door button. It shuddered closed. There were no protests as I went about my work. As a matter of fact, all I was getting were affirmatives. Lots of them.
That shade of blue looks amazing on her… Oh, shit! I can see her nipples right through her shirt! Me like.
Stop looking at her, fuck-face!
YOU’RE looking at her, moron.
“Ow.”
I pulled away. “I’m sorry.”
She adjusted herself. “It’s okay. Just a bit gentler.”
I nodded, going back to work. Fuck with my rhythm again and I’ll pour boiling water in my ear canals.
It’s not my fault, man. You’re the one who can’t function on this little Oxy. Not my problem you get a little JERKY at times!
With the emphasized ring of his voice, my arm spasmed by itself. Lisa pulled in a sharp breath and winced, grasping my wrist.
“Shit! I’m sorry!” You fucking asshole, Silas. Stop it.
Make me.
“It’s alright.” Lisa’s hands were on my chest. “Maybe we can try something else.”
A cool wind slipped past the door and gathered around us, causing a few of my tools to clink together. An idea popped into my head. In one solid motion, I swept my arms across the bench, knocking all the tools to the concrete where they clanged in our ears.
“Oh, my…” Lisa winced again.
“That was louder than I wanted.”
You couldn’t be dumber if you tried.
Lisa hopped up on the now empty table, leaning back on her hands. Her chest pushed out, causing another nice little tingle to jolt through me.
I can feel those too, ya know.
“I love you.”
It was so sudden I almost choked. And not because it was unexpected or unwanted. No, it was because it was so soft. So sweet. So certain.
I looked into her eyes. “I love you, too, Foxtrot.” I let my hands travel to her hips once more.
Instead of shedding all her clothes like I wanted, she broke away from me and looked around again. “I can’t believe I’ve never been in here.” She turned her head to the side, her ponytail falling over one shoulder. I loved it like that.
Me too.
Fuck off.
I snaked my arms around her waist and kissed her neck. “I promised the kids I’d let them show you, but you beat me to it.”
She chuckled. “I’m sure they’ll forgive you.”
“I don’t know.”
She turned to face me, putting her own arms around my middle. “No?”
I shook my head. “Would you forgive someone if you found out they used your surprise workspace to get laid?”
A smile lit up her face. “No, I suppose not.”
“How’d you get so sexy?” I asked, pulling her closer into me. I knew she could feel the beginning of an erection beneath my jeans. I slipped a thigh between hers.
“I look like hell. I’ve been vomited on twice today.” She paused when she saw my expression. “Not on these clothes.”
I grinned. “I know. But you’re wrong.” I kissed her. She tasted like red wine. The sting of alcohol on the tip of her tongue faded into a full, sweet tinge of fruit. It sent nice little jolts of pleasure all through me. “You’re beautiful. Gorgeous. Stunning. Beyond Aphrodite. Maybe even more than—”
“Okay,” she said, a smile still dancing on her lips. “I understand now.”
“But you still don’t believe me?” My hands fell to her backside, guiding her hips to thrust against my thigh. Her leg muscles tensed.
“No, I don’t. You have to prove it.” Moonlight splashed into the large garage, changing the concrete from gray to a yellowish white. It cascaded across the smooth curves of her face.
“How?” The word almost caught in my throat as she put both hands behind her head and pulled the hair tie from her ponytail, then shook her long dark hair out. It fell across her shoulders in perfect waves.
“Make love to me.”
Well, why didn’t you say so in the first place?
I pulled her close to me, ignoring Silas’ voice. Instead, I cradled her head against my chest, just holding her, stroking her back and allowing my hand to explore the soft cotton of her shirt where it met the smooth silk of her skin. Her heartbeat thundered against my chest for a few moments. I felt it slow as she sighed. All at once, she felt just a little heavier. My fingers made their way down the backs of her arms, lacing them with hers.
You know what’d make this better? If she was naked.
No shit.
And wet.
Not a bad idea. I grabbed her wrist and pulled her to the floor. “Come on.”
***
Yes, yes, yes! Dude, this is better than a porno.
I swear to God, I’m gonna glue my eyelids shut if you don’t cut it out.
Lisa closed the curtain to the shower in one swift movement. The towel around her slipped past her hips. A shock of her hair broke free from the ponytail and brushed the soft shelf of her shoulder. I studied the intricacy of her spine as it curved down between her shoulder blades, ending in a swan’s neck at her tailbone.
Damn, woman. Back that ass up.
“Come here.”
Startled, she turned toward me, clutching the towel to her chest. I motioned for her to come closer with my hand. As she did, I pointed to the floor and made a circle motion. She smiled, did a little spin for me, then made her way into my arms.
Hey! What kind of doctor deprives her patient of medicine? We both know you’re an ass man. Turn this bitch around.
No.
Aww, come on, you fucking pansy. Are you a man or not?
Dude, fuck off. She doesn’t like that.
She liked it the first time until you fucked it up. Turn her around and I’LL show you what she’d like.
An uncontrollable urge whipped its way through me. Now, I’m normally pretty proud of my willpower and resolve. But for some reason, I had a bad case of alien limb syndrome. I watched as I spun her around and pulled her close into my chest.
“Jack.” She squirmed a little, but to my horror, I didn’t let go. And the next words out of my mouth didn’t even sound like my voice.
“Come on, Babe. Your ass is amazing. Just try it one more time?”
Heh, heh. You know EXACTLY what I’m doin’.
My arm jerked at the volume of his voice inside my head. Lisa slipped away from me. Thank God. I wasn’t sure if I could control myself any longer. A weird, weightless feeling surrounded my innards. It felt similar to guilt, but duller. What was I doing?
No. Not me. Him.
Lisa was still holding the towel to her chest. I couldn’t decipher the look on her face. She sucked in a deep breath. “Alright.”
Giddy laughter filled the empty spaces in my mind. “Wait…what?”
She nodded, swallowing hard. “We can try it again.”
Told ya. All you have to do is tell her how hot she is. Deep down, she loves being objectified like the dirty little slut she is.
I shook my head, trying to dislodge his voice while clearing my own thoughts. “No, I don’t—” But my arms were already outstretched, my feet already moving toward her. And then the strangest thing happened. She began to back up. Her face remained set and stoic, an unwelcome change from her typical sexual self.
I didn’t want to keep moving forward. So why was I? At that point, I didn’t even want to have sex anymore. I just wanted to stop in my tracks, hug my wife and have a drink. Instead, I was scaring the fuck out of her.
Who cares? You’re about to get anal!
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hard stop, motherfucker.
Nah.
My legs refused to stop moving. I was within about a foot of her now. She’d begun to turn around when I felt the sting of tears behind my eyelids.
Jesus. You’re gonna cry now? Relax, stupid. Once you get in there, you’ll come in seconds. Who the fuck cares about her feelings?
I fucking do.
With my last ounce of self-control, I pushed all my weight onto my left knee. Bones rubbed together as pain shot its way into my thigh, lighting up my brain. It sent me into overdrive.
“Stop.”
“What?” Lisa looked at me, her face twisted into an expression of surprise. And she’d let her guard down. I saw the fear hiding there too.
The pain finally reached my brain and nerves. My body jolted for a moment, then I sort of twisted to sit on the lip of the tub. “I’m sorry. I don’t understand…”
“Jack!” My wife rushed to my side, pulling the towel tight around her naked body. Her hands were gentle as they brushed against my wrist. “Are you alright?”
For the first time in a while, I told the truth. “No.”
Her eyebrows drew together. “What’s the matter?”
“I’m crazy, Lisa.”
Fuck you, asshole. Who rats out their best friend?
You’re not my best friend. What kind of best friend would try to rape a guy’s wife?!
“I don’t understand.” Lisa’s tone was wavering with fear.
I could only shake my head and drop it. My neck felt as though it wouldn’t support the weight of two people in my brain. I had to tell her. I had to tell her how much Oxy I was really taking.
NO.
Surprised by the volume of his voice, I jerked upward. “I took—”
NONONONONONONONONO.
I winced.
“It’s the pain again, isn’t it?” Lisa’s fingertips stroked my nerve-frazzled skin.
No, it’s not the pain.
“Yeah.”
Stop fucking talking for me!
Make me.
My wife stood, the look she gave me making me want to kill myself. “How much Oxycontin have you had today?”
Seventy milligrams.
“Thirty.”
What the fuck?
My wife nodded, contemplating something in her head. It seemed to be a real struggle for her to speak again. “I suppose ten more wouldn’t hurt.”
No!
Fuck yeah.
I tried to grab her wrist as she left me, but my lame arm wouldn’t move. It was weird, though. Even though I used pain to gain control over my body again, my nerves were surprisingly quiet.
That’s because it’s all me now, baby.
Fuck you.
You don’t believe me? Watch THIS!
My right leg jerked. I clapped one hand on top of it, pressing down as hard as I could.
Quit it.
Lisa turned from the medicine cabinet and handed me the black plastic pouch in which all the ten milligram hypos were stored. Without any control, I took it. Then, through an automated process, I let her inject it into my thigh.
Hmm… She does such a good job. So smooth and nice…
Don’t.
What? I didn’t say anything!
Just shut up.
Her hair smells nice. I wanna touch it.
Something strange happened then. It was as if a veil had passed over my eyes and I suddenly felt like a backseat passenger to my own life. I watched my fingers tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear. She looked up and smiled at me, causing my heart to hammer against my ribs. My hand came to a rest on her shoulder.
It’d be so easy to just—
Don’t.
What?
My fingers stroked the line of her collarbone. She’d used her hand to balance against my thigh as she administered the drugs. The medicine flowed through my veins. It had no effect.
You know what’d be hot?
I didn’t want to know. My hand moved toward her jawline.
Choking her.
My thumb brushed against the skin of her throat, pressing in just a bit.
No!
As she moved to toss the needle, I watched in hopeless terror as both my hands closed around her windpipe. I tried to let up on the amount of pressure I was using, but I had no control over anything.
At first, confusion flashed in her eyes. They grew wide as if I’d just told her a juicy secret. And I wanted to tell her I was sorry. I opened my mouth to speak.
“You deserve this, you selfish bitch.” My hands – his hands, but my hands – tightened.
What are you fucking doing?! Stop! Stop!
“You should really see yourself right now.” It didn’t even sound like my voice anymore. “You look really sexy.”
Her expression melted into one of pure horror. I just wanted it to stop. But I had no more control. No more resolve.
A sharp, hot pain bit into my left side. I looked down. Lisa had shoved the spent needle in as far as it would go. Throbs of pain pushed against my insides. Blood began to seep into the fabric of my shirt.
When I looked back up at her, there was nothing left inside my head but red anger.
With another gracious squeeze, I felt something give inside my wife’s neck. I wasn’t sure what, but I knew there was no going back from there. Her nails dug into my forearms, ripping out strings of flesh. Blood dripped down her fingers as she lost the energy to fight. But I felt no pain.
Stop… Please…
He did. My fingers opened, and Lisa crumpled to the bathroom floor. My hands were coated in sticky red blood. It flowed from the wounds on my arms in rivers. I shook. Hard.
Probing my side, my fingers curled around the needle. I took a deep breath and pulled. In a slash of red, it came out, clattering to the floor.
I followed it. My vision tunneled, but I felt around for something, anything. I bunched a handful of the soft cotton towel around her. Pulling myself along the tiled floor, I laid on top of her, just trying to feel for some semblance of life.
I’m not sure how long I laid there. But it was long enough to know she wasn’t breathing. And long enough to know she didn’t have a pulse. It was long enough to know I’d killed my own wife.
From the desk of Dr. Lisa Reynolds – June 19
Jack is gone.
We were going to take a well-deserved communal shower. I’d gone to check on the kids and when I’d returned to our room, he was nowhere to be found. Up and down the halls, I called to him, searching every inch of the house. That was when I contacted Brendon.
“Don’t worry, Bunny. We’ll find him.”
He patted my shoulder as I sat, distraught, at the dining room table. Tears threatened to burst forth. Panic gripped me in a vice. While I didn’t need a man in my life to make it complete, my heart ached for my husband. He meant everything to me. And he was gone.
“I’ve already contacted sixteen people for a search party,” Raychel said. I envied her energy in a crisis. She’d immediately taken it upon herself to ensure we’d find him.
“I just don’t understand. He was having difficulties with some tasks, but he seemed fine moments before.” My mind went back to my husband’s strange behavior only hours earlier.
Brendon sat in the chair next to me. “What kind of difficulties?” His fingertips slid from my shoulder to my elbow, where his hand remained.
“He was a bit agitated. I noticed a few tics. Which I’m certain is caused by the opiate use.”
Brendon nodded.
“But he seemed to be struggling internally with…something.” I still wasn’t sure what it was. And I wasn’t even certain if I had the correct information. Jack’s mind was difficult to read.
Brendon cocked his head to one side, a lock of dark hair brushing one eyebrow. He was surprisingly well put-together for it being so late. Raychel’s phone began to ring and she stepped out to answer it.
“Is there more to that story?” Brendon asked.
Flashes of memories filtered through my mind. I recalled how he’d asked for a specific sexual position which I wasn’t thrilled about. It wasn’t something he did on a normal occasion. But I’d chalked it up to the opiates and was prepared to give him what he wanted. When I articulated my thoughts, I couldn’t believe the words were coming out of my mouth, but it was a way of working through the issue.
Brendon’s dark brows raised. “Ooh, mama.”
“But then he changed his mind. I could see the second it happened. It was like a switch was flipped behind his eyes.”
He shrugged. “That doesn’t sound like a normal reaction to Oxy.”
I nodded. “That was my thought as well.”
“What are you thinking?” He watched me with his chin in his hand. When I glanced at him, he smiled.
“Hallucinations.”
His brows shot up once more. “Oof. You sound pretty confident.”
