by Urban, Ami
“Your guess is as good as mine. And I’m tired of taking a backseat to my own research,” Lisa said. “We need to beat them to this autopsy.”
A twinkle popped into Brendon’s eyes. “An adventure? I’m intrigued, Bu—”
His gaze briefly met mine before turning back to her.
“Why is this a risk we’re taking again?”
We? Since when did he start inviting himself along on everything we did?
“Why else would they want to quarantine the entire hospital? It’s obvious they think either the FFI or rabies still poses a threat to national health. This is my research. I will not have it taken away from me again.”
Damn. Her resolve was impressive. A hint of a smile pulled at Brendon’s mouth until he glanced my way again.
“I’d ask you to elaborate, but I don’t think we have much time.” He brought the keys up again. They clinked together. “Let’s go do a post-mortem.”
He seemed to know which key on the ring of at least twenty would open the morgue. The staff must’ve trusted him with their lives. Or they just thought he was a genius surgeon but hopeless pothead. Lisa went in first, heading straight for the opposite side of the large room where the lockers were held.
“Hey, Dood, I’m so—”
“You know what that fucking cock-blossom said to me at your party?”
He blinked a few times. I could see the gears turning in his head. He seemed so small to me in that moment. Like a scared little mouse.
“That…you…have… Um…” His voice wavered. A lock of dark hair fell over his forehead as he looked up to the ceiling. “Nice…eyes?” He squinted at the last word.
“No.” The desire to smile was nonexistent in me at that moment. “He said you and Lisa were proficient in gland-to-gland combat.”
At my words, he stopped in his tracks. It took me a few more steps to notice he was no longer at my side. I looked back at him, but he wasn’t meeting my gaze.
“What?”
“He said you were upstairs discussing Uganda.”
He squinted again, blinking his eyes like an idiot. “I don’t—”
Why does no one understand my euphemisms?
I sucked in a breath, resulting in a low groan. “You were marinating your nether rod in her squish mitten. Cattle prodding her oyster ditch with your lap rocket.”
He was quiet a moment more. Then, I could hear a soft humming coming from his chest. Then, he sang softly, “Foxtrot uniform Charlie kilo.”
I didn’t even have a chance to acknowledge he was correct before he busted out in laughter. Fuck was so funny? The little fucker just got a right kick out of that, didn’t he?
“There are two sides to every story, but you’re a douche in both of these.”
His laughter petered out as he finally met my gaze. “I’m sorry. I mean, I don’t know why he told you that. It wasn’t true. I was showing her my piano.”
“Is that what you’re calling it?” I threw up my hands. “Those enlargement pills must be working, because you’re an even bigger dick that yesterday.”
He screwed up his face. “Dood, come on! I’m not—”
“Can the two of you let me in on what you’re doing, please? We have a limited amount of time, here.”
We both turned to see Lisa staring at us from beside an open locker. A lumpy white body bag laid on top of the chrome slab next to her.
I jerked my thumb over my shoulder. “It’s not my fault this guy is the human embodiment of period cramps.”
“Hey!”
“Please, you two!”
I looked back at Brendon whose face was contorted with what looked like a mixture of contempt and guilt. That shit wasn’t going to work on me, though.
“I’m just tired of being fucked in ways that don’t end in orgasm.” My eyes were becoming tired from the constant frown in my brow.
“I’ve had enough.” Lisa’s tone became firm. Like a mother’s. “I need to perform this autopsy. I’m either doing it with both of you present or alone. Your choice.”
“I’m not leaving.” I folded my arms across my chest.
Brendon said nothing. But he didn’t move, either.
“Please help me, then.” Lisa gestured toward the body in the bag.
I took a step forward first. Brendon followed close behind me. He sniffed, but I pretended not to care. We stood in a silent circle for a few seconds. Lisa was on my left; Brendon across from us.
Lisa reached for the zipper on the body bag. Out of nowhere, my heart began thundering in my chest. A fresh wave of anger settled over me. If I could have killed him again, I would have.
A trio of shrill beeps filled the room, causing all three of us to jump. Brendon looked down at his crotch and frowned.
“Wood’s looking for me.” His voice was grave.
“Quick, then. I need someone to grab the body. We’ll take it to the old OR before they can find us.” Lisa turned her back to the lockers.
“So, this is what I’m doing today.” Brendon sighed while looking at the body bag. “Committing federal crimes.” When he looked back up at me, there was a sad smirk on his face.
“You’re absolutely free to go back to your normal routine,” Lisa said, heading back toward the morgue doors.
“Not a chance.” After a lengthy sigh, he bent forward, pushed a shoulder under Scott’s body and hoisted it up. “I’d…” He groaned before shifting the body. “I’d die for y’all.” The trio of loud beeps sounded again. Brendon grunted, shifting his weight to look at his beeper again.
“He’s coming,” he said.
The two of them followed me down the hall and out the back door. Gravel crunched under our feet as we scrambled to the west wing of the hospital. I noticed for the first time the pain in my knee was different. It was duller, more muted. And bearable again. Man, Brendon really was a good surgeon.
Behind me, he groaned suddenly. I shushed him, and Lisa asked what his issue was. “Angel lust.”
“What?” I glanced sideways at him. His face was contorted into a look of disgust.
“Priaprism.” Lisa’s voice was low. “Post mortem erection.”
“It’s digging into my back.”
“I’m sure that’s nothing new for you.” I couldn’t help but chuff at my own joke.
“If I get seminal fluid on these jeans so help me…”
That was solid. I laughed.
I led everyone into the back door to the old OR. It was dark. I fumbled for the light switch as the others filed past me. A loud clang followed by the skittering of metal filled the room.
“Fuck! My knee!” Brendon whispered harshly.
I found the light switch and flicked it on.
“Why me?” He hefted Scott’s body onto a gurney near him as he whined. Then, he noticed my glare. After a passive shrug, I rolled my eyes.
“Jack, I’ll need you to stay in the theatre.” Lisa was beside me.
I glanced at Brendon. “Why?”
She put a hand on my arm. “Because if the CDC really thinks Scott’s body poses a threat to the hospital, I can’t have you in the same room getting infected.” Her tone was soft, and her eyes shone with concern. I’d seen the look before. It was the same look as when she’d injected herself with an experimental rabies drug. She was doing this for the greater good.
“I don’t like this.”
“I know,” she said, her hand still on my arm. “But I have to know what’s going on.”
I nodded. “Of course, you do.” I offered a sympathetic smile, but it just felt sarcastic. It seemed as though she understood, because she patted my forearm before turning to leave.
But I grabbed her wrist. “Wait.”
She spun around, surprise in her features. I yanked her into an embrace. The last time she looked at me like that, I was certain she’d never come back. And I wasn’t about to let her go thinking I was pissed off.
So, I kissed her instead. Her body tensed beneath mine for a split second before
she welcomed my advance. We kissed until Brendon cleared his throat.
“Retirement kills more people than hard work ever did.”
She smiled.
“Please come back to me.” A bubble of emotion rose up into my chest. A hint of déjà vu followed.
“I will.” Her fingers dug into my forearms. I could feel the urgency in her pulse, even through my thick overshirt. I gave her one last nod, tossed a warning glare at Brendon and headed out into the theatre.
On my way to the door, my right foot slid out from underneath me. I had to catch myself on the jamb. Otherwise, I would have smashed my poor leg up even more. My heart began to pound as I looked down to see a trail of bright red blood leading from the door to the gurney. A crimson stain stretched across a quarter of the body bag.
“Um… Guys?”
They turned toward me, then followed my pointing index finger. I could see both their expressions change to the same state of confusion I found myself in.
“Jack, please close the door behind you. We don’t have much time.” Lisa words were hurried. I did as I was told, finding a seat near the back of the theatre. I watched as she approached the body bag, unzipped it and stared for a bit. Brendon looked over her shoulder, his face all seriousness.
“What the…?” He reached a hand into the bag, fiddled with something, then brought his fingers to his face. They were covered in runny red blood.
“Don’t touch it without gloves!” Lisa snatched two pairs from a nearby box. Brendon hurriedly brushed his hand against his pants in an attempt to rid himself of the blood.
“How is this even possible?” His voice was reaching an octave I hadn’t heard from him before. “Corpses don’t bleed.”
Lisa looked up at me in the theatre. My heart began to pound. “Something is very wrong here.” She turned back to Brendon. “We need to get to his brain.”
Before he could respond, the door we’d come in from burst open. Dr. Wood stood there in all his tall dark and handsome glory. His eyes were a furious white. In an instant, I was out of my seat. Just as he pointed a finger at my wife and bellowed her name, I hobbled down the stairs.
“Hey, Woody!” I called out to him with a silly tone. He swiveled his head to look my way. Rage burned bright behind his dark eyes. With the intent of luring him away, I ran as fast as my injured knee would carry me past him. “I’ve been exposed!”
He seemed to deliberate for a second, choosing between the path through to the OR, or catching me. I hammed up the limping a bit, making it seem like I’d be an easy catch. So, he followed me through two sets of doors around the theatre. It was like a sick game of ring around the rosy.
I managed to gain enough distance on him to shut one of the doors and lock it. He crashed into it, slamming a fist against the glass. It rattled in its casing. But I stuck my tongue out at him. After glancing over his shoulder, he took off the opposite direction. I did the same, coming to the next door in the roundabout, closing and locking it as well. Now I had him stuck in a hallway with no way out. He pounded on the door, screaming my name.
I heard Lisa call me. I turned to see her at the large picture window in front of me. After a moment of a questioning look from her, I said, “Do what you need to do to save the world, Babe.”
She nodded.
“Don’t you touch that body!” Wood’s fist came into contact with the window. But Lisa was already on her way over to the gurney where Brendon had already begun to saw through Scott’s forehead. Bright red spurts of blood squirted into the air.
“Dr. Rutherford, I could make you a very famous surgeon. But you need to step away from the body right now.”
A quick smile appeared on Brendon’s face while he kept going. “I’d rather be a Rockstar.” He sang a few bars of some Sinatra song.
“Stop this madness now!”
The noise of the saw stopped. The room was deathly silent until the top of Scott’s skull toppled to the floor with a clatter. Blood pooled around it.
“So, Woodsy, why this stiff still bleeding?” Brendon eyed the man.
After tossing a frustrated glance at him, Lisa asked, “Care to explain the thrombocytopenia, Dr. Wood?” Lisa looked to him as Brendon stood back, frowning down at the fresh blood now splashed on his jeans like Kanye had another great idea for designer clothes.
“I’m not at liberty to discuss anything associated with this incident to anyone outside the CDC.”
“That’s utter bullshit.” Lisa pointed at him. “He was my patient. And this is all my research.”
“Not anymore. And if you try and interfere again, you’ll be arrested.”
“By whom?” She put her hands on her hips.
But it didn’t faze him. “You saw the order. You’ll be placed in a federal prison for the rest of your days unless you stop. Now.”
Lisa inhaled through her nose. She stood tall for a few moments, but then it seemed the threat had sunk in. Her shoulders sagged. “I suppose.”
I hated the way that phrase sounded.
“And thanks to the three of you, I now have to quarantine this entire room. Everything needs to be taken out and incinerated.” Wood shook his head.
I swallowed.
“Then we have to decontaminate you.”
Lisa said nothing. All she could do was shake her head and take whatever punishment he threw at her.
***
I kicked my feet out in front of me. My knee ached a little, but the pain was nothing compared to before. There was no more stabbing. No more throbbing. And no more shooting pains into my thigh.
The gurney I was on groaned under my weight. One of the legs was just slightly bent. I ignored its protest.
“Yes, thank you.” Lisa stumbled through the old OR doors in nothing but a paper thin, too small hospital gown. Wood pushed her the rest of the way into the room before closing the door, locking it and pulling the plastic tarp back into place. “For nothing,” Lisa grumbled as she grasped the two sides of the gown and attempted to cover her breasts. On her right wrist was a brand new, bright blue cast.
“At least they gave you underwear.” I pointed to her lower half. She looked down and nodded at the white cotton things on her hips.
“If that’s what you want to call them.”
I chuckled. “Well, this is the second time I’ve been stuck in this room naked in the span of twenty-four hours. What would you call that?”
“A coincidence?” She offered the words with a shrug. Then, with a small smile, “A nightmare?”
I laughed again. “Makes you think… Do porn stars and prostitutes have nightmares about going to work clothed?”
“I’m too exhausting to be loved.” Brendon’s voice met us from the hallway.
“Does he have an encyclopedia of music stashed somewhere? He’s got a song for everything.” Without realizing it, a new pinprick of anger jolted through me.
Lisa turned her back to the door, pulling her gown tighter around her. It didn’t help much. And when Wood shoved Brendon into the old OR, I caught a quick glimpse of what he had to offer before he turned back.
Penis envy is a real thing, folks. And it sucks.
“Gentleness clears the soul, my friend!” he bellowed, lifting his arms up.
Lisa’s eyes begged me for something. I couldn’t tell what. In that moment, I noticed the circles beneath them. They reminded me of when Lexi slept in her mascara. Only this time, it wouldn’t just wipe off. Jesus. How much more bullshit did she have to go through?
“Nice ass, B,” I said, my tone flat.
He spun around after securing a hand over his groin. “Hey! How come only the women get clothes?”
“Think of it as a first date.” I tossed a smile at my wife, but she just closed her eyes.
“Don’t threaten me with a good time, Reynolds.” One of his hands flew up to point at me. “I’ll have you know I love threesomes.”
I tilted my head, glaring at him. How he thought a joke about sex with my wife was funny I�
�ll never know.
“Watch it, man.”
Brendon’s eyes widened. “You started it.”
“Doesn’t mean you have to finish it, asshole.”
His dark eyes rolled to the ceiling. “When are you going to get over it, Dood? Seriously. I know we both made mistakes, but you were dead.”
“For a day!” I felt my blood pressure double.
He just shook his head. “Yeah, so it should’ve only taken you half a one to get over it.”
My fists clenched. I debated standing up to intimidate him. I was a good deal taller and far bulkier. But I was a grower and he was a shower. So instead I remained seated while overheating.
“How would you feel if someone fucked Amy right after you died?”
His brows pulled together, tossing dark shadows under his eyes. “Dood… That’s not something you say to your best friend.”
“We’re best friends?”
He shrugged. “We were yesterday.”
Silence filled the room. The blood boiled in my veins. We stared each other down like a pair of dogs, fighting for the alpha male position.
“Don’t pull that bullshit on me, man. Guilt trips are my biggest pet peeve.”
Something in his face changed. A new emotion took over. But it wasn’t guilt. It looked more impassioned than that.
“I don’t know what else to do, Dood. We’ve already apologized a thousand times. It’s getting to the point where I don’t feel guilty anymore. I’m just getting mad. Lisa, back me up.”
My wife turned her head to the side but said nothing.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down there, Silver. Lisa’s my wife. Not yours. She’s on my side.” I gestured to her as I spoke. “Right, Babe?”
She looked back at me then at the ceiling. Then she sighed. “I’d rather stay out of this.”
Something in her tone made me forget all about Brendon and me fighting. “What’s wrong?” I put my arms out, motioning for her to come closer to me. She did.
“They took my research.”
“What?” Brendon’s voice rose an octave.
“All of it?” I asked, snaking an arm around her waist.
She nodded. “All of it. Everything. The last two years’ worth of work.” She looked up at me, tears glittering in her eyes. “The slides, the samples, the formulas. Everything is theirs now.”
