“You’ve been putting fresh flowers on her grave since?”
“Came home every few days when I was at the University of Chicago. But…but I wasn’t there long.”
Gabe studied her teary eyes, behind them was more than grief for a sibling. That was the look of guilt. And shame. What would Audrey have to feel guilty about? “How old were you when she died?”
“Ten.” She shook her head as if shaking away the conversation. “I think we should spread out stone benches throughout the garden so people have places to sit and pray or admire the beauty. We also need a waterfall that empties into a small reflection pond. We can have one built that uses the pond water to supply the waterfall. Wouldn’t that be peaceful?”
Gabe flipped through gardening magazine he’d purchased. He opened it and pointed. “Like this? I was thinking the same thing.”
Audrey dropped her foiled burger she’d yet to eat and held the magazine up. “That’s it. Perfect. I love the stone around the pond that builds into the waterfall. It’s elegant and classy. Probably expensive.”
“I already talked to Jay Tinney. In case you liked the idea. He said he’d donate the stone.”
Audrey’s blue eyes lit up like sunshine over shadows. “Did he? He doesn’t even go to church.”
“He loved Rosemary, and he said Tanya used to work for him in the summer at the stone company.”
“That’s right.” Audrey opened up her burger and took a healthy bite, a sliver of bacon hanging from her lips. She broke it off and closed her eyes. “I love these burgers.”
“How’s Corey’s display of affection coming along?” Gabe asked.
“Focused solidly on Greta Cannery.”
He handed her a napkin. “I mean the flowers.”
She nodded and wiped the grease from the edges of her lips. “I’m done.” She dug her phone out. “I had to have a picture of that one. Besides, I need it for my résumé.”
Gabe frowned. “What résumé?”
Audrey’s jaw dropped.
“Are you looking for a new job? Where? There’s only one other florist shop in Mistletoe.” Was she moving away? The thought sent his heart into a dizzy spell. Could that be the reason she wasn’t allowing anything more to happen between them? He’d like to think it was a matter of her moving over the fact she wasn’t interested.
“I didn’t mean to say anything.” She blew out a breath. “The Harris sisters sold the business, but they aren’t announcing it until all the legalities are in order. Which is shocking. Dotty’s mouthing gives Betsy Davis a run for her money. Anyway. I’m going to be out of a job and a home come May.”
Gabe shoved the picnic basket away and moved into its place, taking Audrey’s free hand. “I’m sorry. What can I do?”
“Take up a love offering for me?” She shrugged and tried to laugh it off, but when that died, she cried. He’d only seen Audrey cry once. At Eden’s wedding. Gabe led her into his arms, such a perfect fit. Her head buried into his chest and her arms snaked around the middle of his back. “I’m scared. I have no idea what I’m going to do. I—I don’t know how to do anything else. I have no college degree…” Her tears turned heavier, and she didn’t finish her sentence.
Gabe held her and silently prayed as she sobbed and blubbered about the uncertainty of her future. He slid his hand up her back and stroked her hair. It was exactly as he imagined—soft and satiny. “It’s going to be okay. I don’t know how, but I know it will.”
“I’ve been at The Petal Pusher since I was sixteen. I moved into the apartment when I was nineteen.” She sniffed and raised her head, her lips only an inch away from Gabe’s. He bit back the urge to kiss her. Now, in her vulnerable moment, wasn’t the time. Instead, he ran his thumbs under her eyes, brushing away her tears. What he wouldn’t give to always be the one to wipe them away.
“We’ll figure something out. Whatever you need. Whatever I can do. Let me, okay?”
She searched his eyes then lingered on his lips then tracked back to his eyes. Was she going to kiss him? Would he let her?
No.
She’d regret it. She was a mess of emotion and not thinking clearly. If Audrey Gilbraith ever kissed him, he wanted it to be with a level head and with purposeful intention. He framed her face to keep her from inching further forward, but he couldn’t break the connection. That much he refused to do. Because there was one. He felt it as strong as his heart hammering against his ribs.
“Does that include the love offering?” she whispered and he chuckled.
“We’ll see if it comes to that.” He held her gaze until the cloudiness in her eyes evaporated and she jerked out of his hands, putting distance between them.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—I shouldn’t be—we shouldn’t be.” She stood. “I should go. Thanks for listening. The waterfall sounds great. Let’s move on it.” She scrambled across the yard and around the church.
Gabe lay back on the blanket, staring as the sun began its descent into night. He now knew two things. One: Audrey felt something for him. And two: Something about it scared her to death.
CHAPTER FOUR
Audrey flipped through the line-up of Easter bonnet paraders. She’d already been taking orders for fresh flowers. Nelda Martin was on the list, along with her great-granddaughter, Addie. Would the little squirt wear the colorful hat created with marshmallow Peeps like last year? Addie had half the hat eaten before she ever made it to the judges’ table. And Nelda’s bonnet? Sheesh. Easter had nothing to do with fruit, yet every year the entire produce section ended up on her head.
She tossed the clipboard onto her coffee table and sipped her vanilla chai tea. Tuesday night’s burger picnic had almost ended in a kiss. An Audrey-Gilbraith-initiated kiss. For the love. What had she been thinking? Was that like seducing a man of God? She groaned and Friedrich gave her a dirty look. “Yes, heaven forbid, you’re interrupted from one of your thousand daily naps.”
She sighed and jumped at the knock on her door. Please, don’t be Gabe.
“Who is it?”
“Let me in, Audrey.”
Eden.
Audrey swung the door open. “Why are you here? Everything okay with the baby?”
“Yes. All is well with Baby Everhart.” She breezed in. “I’m here because one, we have Easter parade stuff to do and two, why weren’t you at church last night? You sick?” She tossed Friedrich off the rocking chair, and he hissed at her then strutted across the living room floor.
“I hate that cat,” Eden muttered.
Audrey flopped onto the couch. “I needed a night off. It’s okay not to go to church every single time the door opens, you know.”
“Mmm…hmmm…”
“What? It’s true. I’ve got a lot on my mind.” She stared at the ceiling. “Nelda Martin’s on the bonnet list.”
“I’ll make sure to hit the produce section next week.” Eden laughed, and Audrey felt her sit on the edge of the couch, her hand rested on her bare foot. “What is really going on? Cassie said it’s going around you and Gabe had a picnic date Tuesday night.”
“It wasn’t a date. Unless you count the moment I almost kissed the man. I’m a jezebel.” She grabbed a throw pillow and smothered her face.
Eden yanked away the pillow. “Explain. I want details.”
“Why don’t you tell me how the name-picking is going with Knox instead? You agree on one yet?”
“No, and we’ve got time so…” Eden sighed. “But nice try at redirection. Spill it. What’s going on?”
Audrey told her about the night, including the sale of The Petal Pusher. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you the day of, but I was trying to follow their wishes.”
“I understand.” Eden hauled Audrey into a sitting position. “So do you think he wanted to kiss you?”
“For a minute, maybe. But then no kiss. Guess I imagined it.” Probably best nothing had happened anyway.
Eden frowned, opened her mouth, and then shut it. Which meant she knew so
mething, but it wasn’t for her to tell.
“What?”
“Nothing.” She jumped up. “I’m ordering pizza. We’re eating double pepperoni, mushrooms, and extra cheese without feeling guilty. We’ll work on the Easter festival. What have you done so far?”
“I got the youth group to stuff the plastic eggs, which might have been a mistake. I can just see preschool kids everywhere crying hysterically as they open candy-less eggs. Youth group mothers will hunt me down to pay for their children’s dentist bills because they rotted their teeth out with all the Easter candy that should have rotted preschool teeth. But they’re baby teeth. They’ll fall out.”
Eden snickered. “You’re rambling. You sound just like Cassie when she gets going. Which is all the time.”
“I know. Speaking of Cassie, she’s heading up the decorating committee, and I’m trying to figure out who is going to judge the hats this year. Gabe. I need two more, though.”
“Right.” Eden rubbed her lips together. “I sort of already asked him to grab two more judges. Take the pressure off of you.” She ordered pizza and returned to the couch. “Audrey, you haven’t dated since Foster. You said he broke it off. That you weren’t meant to be together so you let it go, but you haven’t gotten past that. Which makes me think there’s more to the story, more than what the town thinks—that you dumped him because you couldn’t handle being a politician’s wife. I know that’s not true.”
It wasn’t. Audrey didn’t want to discuss it. The memories nauseated her. “If you want to work on the festival and eat pizza, great. Otherwise, I’d rather not discuss Gabe or other things.”
Eden heaved a sigh. “That’s fair. I didn’t confide about Knox to you until you brought up the rumors floating about us. We ignored the rumors, by the way. We didn’t let anyone’s opinion get in the way of us being together. We’re happy. Really happy.”
People held Gabe to higher standards. Probably standards no human could live up to, but they did. He didn’t need someone like Audrey bringing him down by dropping the ball, showing up late, and forgetting important things. He might overlook her past, but the town wouldn’t. Even if they did, she couldn’t deny her faults in every other area. Audrey worked overtime redirecting the conversation from going any further. For now.
“How many have signed up for the bonnet parade?” Eden asked as the doorbell rang. “I’ll get it. My treat.” She opened the door to the delivery guy. After paying, Eden placed the pizza on the coffee table while Audrey grabbed paper plates and drinks. Spicy pepperoni, basil, and oregano filled her house, and her stomach growled.
“Eden, what am I going to do come May? I can’t even really look for a job until Dotty and Sharon announce the sale of the store. I can’t even look for houses to rent.” They only had two small apartment complexes in town. She always thought when she moved out of the florist shop apartment, it would be because she was getting married and would have a yard of her own. But that would require dating and she never did that. No one ever sparked her interest. Except the one man she couldn’t have.
“You can stay with us for as long as you need or you can always go home.”
“I’m thirty-five. I’m not moving home.” She grabbed a mushroom and stared at it, the sizzle of Gabe’s touch coming back to her.
“Sometimes, we have to do things we don’t necessarily want to. Keep an open mind. Either way, we’ll pray. I mean really what else is there to do?” She tossed her crust in the box and Audrey grabbed it. “Do you have anything in the bank to fall back on?”
Audrey nodded and chewed Eden’s leftover crust. Best part of the pizza. What was wrong with that woman? “It’s not like I make a ton of green. I have a few thousand saved up. It might get me by for a few months depending on where I live and cost of rent. You know.”
Eden nodded. They spent the next thirty minutes running down the Easter festival order of events. Pie contests and bake sale, Easter bonnet parade, egg hunt for kids. The Easter bunny got vetoed since it was a fictional character and the celebration revolved around Jesus, but the egg hunt stayed in. Audrey didn’t even try to wrap her brain around that one. Several tables were going to be set up for the children’s coloring contest.
“We should have that one inside. If it’s windy, we’ll be chasing coloring sheets for days. The library might let us use a section, and it’s right there on the Square.” Audrey scooped a hunk of cheese from the cardboard box and savored the deliciousness.
“Good thinking, girlie. I’ll call and check on that.” Eden jotted a note. “The stage is already built from last year, and Knox said he’ll have a group of guys work the stereo system for the worship team to sing. I was thinking about asking a few other churches to do a few sets. Makes it more about community than just Abundant Life Church.”
Audrey nodded. “You run that by Gabe?”
“I did actually. He likes it.”
Of course he would. Gabe wasn’t so much about Abundant Life and its own little kingdom as he was spreading the love of Jesus across the community and letting God direct people to a local body. Audrey wondered if maybe that’s why they were growing so quickly. Because Gabe wasn’t focused on himself and his “domain” but on Jesus.
His love for Jesus and people sent a melting sensation into her heart, and a sense of overwhelming pride for his character grew until she could hardly contain herself. “Let’s make cookies.” She’d take some to him.
“You don’t bake.”
“You do.”
“So, what you mean to say is, ‘Eden, bake me some cookies.’” She smirked. “Do you have any baking ingredients?”
Audrey pouted. “No. I bet Sierra Bradley keeps baking goods on hand and knows how to make a mean chocolate chip cookie.”
“Riiiight.” Eden eyed her. “And you care about Sierra Bradley’s pantry because?”
“I don’t. I was just making mention.” She shrugged and tossed a throw pillow at Eden. “I’m thinking about sitting by you on Sunday, and I’m definitely coming over Saturday to dust and vacuum your house, and don’t tell me not to. It’s a done deal.”
“I like both of those ideas; however, to sit by me in the front row, you’ll have to be on time.” She laughed and made a crazy face.
Audrey could do the front row thing. Right? Champion Gabe without the pom-poms. There had to be something she could do to show how much she supported his heart and his efforts. Even if she couldn’t be more than a friend, she could be a great friend. But she desperately wished to be more.
“I’ll be on time.” She grinned. “If you give me a wake-up call.”
***
Gabe finished going over his notes and glanced at the clock. 8:30 a.m. A few of his church members had already come in to pray for the morning’s service. He slipped into the sanctuary. A hushed whisper glided over the altar creating a holy atmosphere. Gabe eased onto the back pew and closed his eyes, reverence and gratitude filling his heart.
God had been better to Gabe than he ever deserved, even when his wife died—when everything had been ripped away. God remained faithful. And good. He’d given Gabe renewed hope and brought him here. He loved his calling. Loved the congregation. Loved the people God already prepared to walk through those doors this morning. Hurting people. Curious people. Hopeless people.
Pray for Audrey, Gabe.
Was she hurting this morning? He’d been praying every day about her job, her home, her future, but this felt different. He bowed his head. “God,” he whispered, “direct my prayer. Give me wisdom.”
He waited a beat.
Remained still.
With a slicing force, his heart nearly shattered into pieces and sank him to his knees, as if God was allowing him access to Audrey’s pain. Not the source. But that didn’t matter. God didn’t need to clue him in on what caused the pain, but the pain itself pressed Gabe to pray harder and to sympathize, as if carrying her burden for her.
Pressing his fists into his thighs as he knelt, the sense of powerl
essness, shame—a thick wall of shame—and a sliver of inadequacy doused with confusion continued to crest within the walls of his chest until he couldn’t breathe.
Words wouldn’t come.
But God didn’t need words to understand desperate cries or pleas for mercy and freedom…and hope.
Gabe simply called on Jesus.
Over and over again. Until the grip over his heart loosened and he felt a peace that passed all understanding. Because he didn’t understand what would cause this reeling pain for Audrey, but it was real no less. He wiped his eyes and finally drew in a deep breath, thanking God for giving him a glimpse into her hurts.
Hushed prayer continued to flow through the sanctuary—a sanctuary that was about to house two services because the congregation had grown until it burst at the seams.
A slight ache rubbed against his ribs. Leading this congregation without someone to share in the burden could be staggering at times.
“Thank you, God, for the strength this far,” he whispered. Going to God over his worries and concerns was always his first stop and praying with his small staff helped, but at night lying in bed alone, it would be nice to wrap his arms around a wife, someone he’d made his partner for life, someone he could confide in and trust with his intimate thoughts and dreams.
The main wooden doors creaked open. Members and guests filtered inside the sanctuary. He cleared his tightened throat and entered the lobby, making himself available to the people. After several minutes of chit-chat and praying with a few congregants, the crowd had mostly cleared out. A few still sipped their coffees. He headed for the side door to the sanctuary to take his place on the front row.
“Hey, where are you going?” Audrey’s voice filled the foyer. Gabe did a double-take and checked his watch. Ten minutes before service time.
He rubbed his eyes and blinked. “Yep, I’m seeing Audrey Gilbraith in the flesh.” A beautiful Audrey in a white dress, modest but fitted, with red and pink flowers spilling across the middle, and the wildest red heels he’d ever seen. Where did she find these shoes?
Just the Way You Are (Seasons of Hope Book 2) Page 5
