He needed to talk to Audrey, but he’d wait until he had the meeting. Have all his ducks in a row. If the meeting wasn’t about her, then he didn’t want her to know that some of the members weren’t happy about them seeing each other. She didn’t need to carry that. He’d carry it for her.
If what Angie said was true, or even if it wasn’t, chances were Tanya and Sierra weren’t the only ones who knew. Rumors of Audrey sleeping with the Congressman, and any other vicious rumor told to Angie, was about to make its way through the town.
God, what do I do? I need some wisdom and…I just don’t know. I need You.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Audrey tied another purple bow on the lily arrangement. Her thoughts were a mile away. She’d been offered a job at a large florist shop in Chicago. She asked for a few days to decide. Would she commute? Should she move there?
The door busted open. “I suppose you know by now.” Eden swept into the empty shop and embraced Audrey. “I gave Betsy Davis the what for. I finally did it. Of course, I’ll have to apologize for the way in which I went about it, but I’m sticking to my guns.”
Audrey pulled out of Eden’s death grip and frowned. Obviously, this had nothing to do with the sale of the florist shop. That went public this morning, and she’d already had a dozen phone calls. She’d never get the lilies ready for church stages. “What are you talking about?”
“Gabe didn’t call you?”
Audrey pinched the bridge of her nose. “Call me about what? What has Betsy Davis and her cohorts done now? Why are you apologizing to her?”
Eden groaned and set Audrey on the stool. “I figured he’d have called you by now. This morning. Or come by. I guess he needed more time.”
“Oh for the love of all that’s good and decent, spit it out!”
Heaving a breath, Eden’s eyes shimmered with tears. This wasn’t going to end well. Audrey’s stomach clenched. “Some of the board called a meeting last night with Gabe. They didn’t seem to think…they weren’t happy about his choice of…”
The silent truth struck Audrey in the teeth. “They don’t like him dating me,” she whispered.
“They love you, Audrey. They said that. There’s just some concerns.”
“Concerns?” Of course there were. Even Audrey had concerns. Probably some of the same ones. But the pain sliced deep anyway. Audrey got off the stool, but her legs were shaky. “So what? They told Gabe he had to break things off with me? Can they do that? They can’t do that. It’s a free country, right?”
“It is a free country, and no, they can’t exactly tell him what to do, but they made it clear that his position is in serious jeopardy. They do have the votes to kick him right out of the church. I don’t think they want to, but…” Eden rubbed her temples. “I think they’re afraid you’ll leave him like they think you did with Foster, and then Gabe will leave town. Leave the church.”
“How is bullying them going to make him stay? He might just leave for that!” He shouldn’t. But he shouldn’t be pressured either.
“Possibly. I don’t think they think he will. Bullies always expect to win. You should tell the truth about Foster, Aud.”
“No!” Audrey covered her face. She’d go to the grave first. “Besides, I signed a legal document stating I would never speak of our break-up or go to the Press or anything. And why would I? It was my fault!” Everything she believed was proving true. Gabe’s calling was too important, and she didn’t have what it took to be at his side.
She sunk down on the stool. “Is that all?”
Eden’s cheeks flamed red. “Well, it might have gotten around that the soup you took to Mindy’s wasn’t exactly…homemade.”
Audrey groaned. “I’m humiliated.”
“Don’t be. Who cares?”
Audrey cared. Silence at the games wasn’t enough. Showing up on time, and sitting in the front row, and making fake soup wasn’t enough.
Audrey wasn’t enough.
She knew it.
Betsy knew it.
The town knew it. They might say they loved her, but holding a secret meeting to tell him to knock off the relationship was more proof. Her own town. Turned against her.
And Gabe—who hadn’t bothered to come by or call—he knew it. Well, she’d make it easy on him.
“We aren’t engaged. We haven’t even talked about marriage. It’s been a couple of weeks.”
“Audrey, it’s obvious. You love him and he loves you. He’s been into you since he came to town.”
“How do you know?”
Eden grinned. “He told me. Told Knox. Then he asked you out a few times and you invited us as a buffer.” She laughed. “Everyone sees it’s going down that road. I don’t see him casually dating and you haven’t dated in almost five years.”
Eden was right.
But the pastor’s wife did a lot of things. Eden always had her hand in some kind of pot. She was organized and kind. Patient. Everything Audrey wasn’t.
“How did you find out?”
Eden chewed her thumbnail. “Dad was at the meeting. He fought for you guys, but you know he’d do that. He called Knox this morning then I called Betsy and lit into her.”
“Did you know how Gabe responded? Did he…did he choose me, Eden?” Not that he should but…Foster hadn’t. He’d chosen his career over her. If she hadn’t been so stupid and naïve. If she could go back and change what happened in college with Professor Talbert it never would have been an issue.
“Dad told him he sat there quiet then said, ‘I understand’ and that was that. They left him in his office.” Eden took Audrey’s shaking hand in hers. “He’s a man of wisdom. He likes to chew on things. Let him chew, okay?”
Gabe understood. He definitely knew it. They were right, and he hadn’t called or come by because he was such an amazing man he wouldn’t know how to break it to her.
No way. Audrey wasn’t going to let Gabe reject her. She couldn’t handle it. She wasn’t going to let him ruin everything he’d worked for and built—his dream—to hang on to someone who wouldn’t cut the mustard anyway. She only had one choice. “They’re right,” she whispered and held back tears. “I don’t like how they did it. But they’re right.”
“No, they’re not.”
“Eden, watch the shop. I have to go.”
“Where? Don’t do anything rash, Audrey,” Eden warned.
Rash was falling for Gabe. Rash was thinking she was something she wasn’t. Rash would be to tell them all to jump off a cliff without a parachute.
“I won’t.” She blew through the door and headed for Gabe.
***
Gabe poured another cup of coffee and collapsed on his couch where he’d been all night praying. He hadn’t even changed out of his gray sweats and Gators T-shirt. Had his congregation really just given him an ultimatum? They could dress it up as concern all they wanted, but the fact remained that if he continued to date Audrey, or married her, they’d replace him.
All the work he’d poured out played like a slideshow in his mind. He’d come here for a fresh start with ideas and dreams. God-given dreams that he’d been accomplishing as he obeyed what God had asked. The growing church was proof of that. Outreach teams had been developed, the men’s ministry had been strengthened, and discipleship had become a priority. The people had become family to him.
Until now.
Or maybe that’s why they thought they had the right to dictate who he could and couldn’t love. Family sticking their noses in areas of his life that wasn’t their business. Betsy brought up Audrey’s engagement again, and he had no way to defend Audrey because she’d chosen to keep that from him.
He didn’t know how much of the rumors had merit. If Audrey did leave Hillingsworth, she had to have had a good reason, a better reason that not being able to hold up under the pressure of marrying a public figure. But even if she didn’t have a good or better reason, that was almost five years ago. Weren’t people allowed second chances? Third and fourth
chances? If they knew all his dirty laundry, they’d probably find him and Audrey a stellar match. Gabe wasn’t perfect. None of them were.
Had all his sermons about unconditional love, forgiveness, and mercy fallen on deaf ears? Did they only hear what they wanted?
The caffeine had given him jitters and his insides were mangled, but he was flat out drained, and in burning the midnight oil, Gabe hadn’t really received any direction.
“God, what do I do? You brought me here for this church. For this body. But in it, I’ve fallen in love again, and I don’t know what to do.” He was going to lose either the church or Audrey. How could they do this to her? She’d lived here her entire life. Were they blind to all the amazing things she did for the people? Didn’t they see the joy that exploded like a geyser every time she walked into the room with a pair of wild high heels and a gracious spirit?
It killed him to have to tell her about the meeting. But together they’d pray about how to handle the congregation. He just needed more time to pray through. To figure this out. Either way, people were going to be hurt. The last one he wanted to see broken was Audrey.
Whatever it took. Gabe would shield her. He’d protect her.
A banging on his door startled him from this jumbled thoughts. He raked his hands through his hair and opened the door.
Audrey stood, mascara streaking down her rosy cheeks. Hair disheveled and her chin poked out. She’d heard.
“You should have called me. Why didn’t you call me?” Audrey sniffed and refused Gabe’s motion to come inside. That wasn’t a good sign.
“Who did you talk to?”
“Eden.”
Better she heard from Eden than Betsy or Connie who had been downright nasty. He reached out for her and she shifted to avoid his touch. It sent an ache into his chest. “I wanted to figure out what to do.”
Her chin quivered. “I’ll make it easy. It’s over.”
His heart hammered against his ribs as panic overtook him. “Whoa. Wait a minute, Audrey. Have you prayed about that?”
Her cheek twitched. “I should have known better. I tried to be everything you needed.” She shrugged. “I’m not. Doesn’t matter if I make it to church on time, or if I learn to cook, or be more attentive to people’s needs. I could even take piano and singing lessons and it wouldn’t be enough.”
What on earth was she talking about? Who asked her to do all of those things? Had he given her that impression? “Audrey—”
“Even if that were enough, with my past…” She dropped her head. “The rumors are grand, I’ll tell you. I just let them go. It’s easier to let them drum up ideas about why I came home at nineteen from college. Easier to let them believe I broke things off with my fiancé. Yes, I was engaged, but you probably know that by now.”
“I do.” If he touched her and she shirked, he wouldn’t be able to hold it together. “I was hoping you’d tell me about it. Nothing wrong with being engaged. I was married.”
Audrey shifted back and forth on her heel and rubbed her thumb and index together. “Truth is, Gabe, I’m not married because I wasn’t congressman’s wife material. Foster’s parents didn’t like me. Not from the start. Too small-town. No degree. No pedigree. When Foster decided to run…” She inhaled and exhaled. “They hired a P.I. to dig into my past. See what they could turn up.”
He waited and let her take her time. Whatever was coming was colossal. Would she let him offer the comfort he burned to give?
“They turned up the truth. I tried to hide it.” She wavered on her heels and rubbed her hand along the side of her thigh. “At eighteen, I took off for college. Mix a naïve kid with a fat dose of freedom and a dad who didn’t care about her, and I fell for a college professor fifteen years my senior. I…I made mistakes with him. The biblical kind.” She covered her face. “I’m so ashamed. But it gets worse. I ruined his marriage.”
An invisible force gripped his lungs and squeezed the air from them.
“He never wore a ring. Never said he was married. Never said he had kids. His wife…she found us. In the biblical sense.”
Gabe stepped toward her but she backed away.
“I wrecked my family. I wrecked his family. I ran home. Rumors flew but I didn’t care. Then I met Foster in the city at a museum. Things happened fast. I made…more mistakes. I thought it would be okay in the end since we were engaged. Until he found out what happened. He had big dreams. A public figure, a man of the people, and my past would only bring him down. What would people think of him being married to a home wrecker? The other woman. I signed a legal agreement that said I couldn’t discuss the circumstances. Why would I want to anyway? I just wanted it all to go away. I thought I could bury it and become the right kind of woman for you. It’s obvious that’s not going to happen.”
Gabe’s heart broke. For Audrey. The same pain he’d felt that morning in the sanctuary was almost tangible now in Audrey’s confession.
“Audrey,” he whispered.
“You have a bigger calling than Foster ever dreamed of having, and I can’t let my past get in the way. I let it get out of hand. I tried to keep my distance. To keep things friendly, but that day in the cemetery…things changed. I thought—doesn’t matter what I thought.”
“Audrey, we can figure this out. Come inside. Please.”
“No. You shouldn’t have to figure it out.” She met his eyes, hurt flashing like neon. “Besides, I’m taking a job and moving to Chicago. I think it’s best.”
He stood stunned. When had this happened? She bolted for her car.
“Audrey!”
The woman could run in heels.
“Wait! Please, don’t leave!” He chased after her, but she was too fast. She peeled out onto the road leaving him standing in her dust, his heart aching uncontrollably. Could he let her run off to Chicago? Could he stand to be in this town, in this congregation, without her in his life?
He closed his door, slunk to the floor, and rested his head on his knees. He felt like he had to either cut the baby in half, like Solomon said, or let one go.
Hours seemed to tick by and he knew. He knew he couldn’t cut them in half. One had to go. He loved them both. Loved his dream. Loved the people and the honor of shepherding them.
But he also loved Audrey.
CHAPTER EIGHT
How was Audrey supposed to face the town all day? Okay, maybe it wasn’t the whole town but it felt like it. Felt like everyone was against her, that somehow they’d all discovered she’d slept with a married man and lost her fiancé because of it.
Stomach in knots, she pasted on a smile as she situated children at the coloring table in the library. She’d made a commitment to help Eden with this festival, so that’s what she was doing.
“Audrey?” Mindy Persowski waved, a weak wave. “You have a minute?”
Great. Just what she needed. To be reminded she couldn’t cook worth a toot. “Sure.”
Mindy adjusted the baby sling holding her newest little one. He slumbered peacefully. “I wanted to tell you how much I adored the diaper and flower wreath, and the soup.”
Audrey flicked an eyebrow north. “I heard something like that.”
Mindy grin turned sheepish. “I said something to my husband and we laughed, only because we knew it was canned and we thought you were just precious bringing it. I guess he mentioned it to his sister who…” She shrugged. “I never meant it to be hurtful. I’m just glad it wasn’t Campbells.”
“Well, that would have been too obvious.”
“Probably. Anyway, we loved it. All of it. I wanted you to know that.” She maneuvered around the kangaroo in his pouch and pecked Audrey’s cheek. “You need any help?”
“Actually, I do.”
Mindy oversaw the table while Audrey slipped outside. The Square was one of her favorite places. The stage had been nestled inside a cluster of trees making it the focal point. The judges table sat in the grass near the sidewalk in front of the hardware store. The pie table had been se
t up behind the gazebo facing the courthouse. Every second a new pie landed on it, Audrey’s mouth watered.
“I know you want to stick your finger in the whip cream. Don’t lie.”
Audrey froze; her stomach twisted into a pretzel. She turned to see Foster towering her. Perfect blond hair, dazzling grin, and the bluest eyes known to man. “What are you doing here?” Of all the times for him to show up, now was not it. Never would be a good time.
“I’m a judge for the Easter parade. I was coming through Mistletoe anyway. I guess you don’t check my website for events.”
She jutted out her chin and looked him square in the eye. “I didn’t even vote for you.”
Foster laughed. Like for real laughed as if totally amused. “Candid. I always liked that about you, Audrey.”
People were seriously going to be talking now if they caught him laughing. “Look, let’s not pretend to be friends or civil. Okay. You dropped me like a hot potato, and then you made me sign a contract to never discuss it. As if our relationship had been all business or something. I don’t know what it was, but that was low down.”
“Alright, fair enough. I did.” His eyes softened. “But it wasn’t an easy choice, Audrey. Not at all. Maybe one day you’ll forgive me.” He cocked his head as if waiting for her to do it now. She hadn’t forgiven him. Not him or his family. It was wrong and it was still eating her alive.
But she just couldn’t. It would be like admitting out loud that she agreed to the fact she wasn’t suitable for him or good enough. While she knew it was true deep down, she didn’t have to write it in the clouds. “I might. Someday. Regardless, you’re still not getting my vote.”
He smirked. “Fair enough.” He walked away from the table and turned back. “You look amazing, Aud, and I’ve missed you. That is the truth.”
“Yeah, well, you can’t believe a word a politician says.”
Just the Way You Are (Seasons of Hope Book 2) Page 8
