by K. F. Ridley
In the midst of it all, I get a strange foreboding someone is watching me. An unsettling feeling, how you would feel when you are about to go into the dentist’s office whom doesn’t numb you up and you know it’s going to hurt. The air is thick. I don’t know if the memories of Durt make Darby seem less fresh and wholesome, but something isn’t right. My skin tightens as my eyes follow the edge of the yard that meets the national forest. This feeling of discomfort continues to grow. I feel as if my nerves are being removed from my body, one strand at a time, and being knitted into a sweater. I try to focus on finding the muck.
Taylie keeps an eye out as we continue searching. After a couple of hours of digging, Coll hits something in the ground. A jar of muck burst as it meets the shovels edge. “Careful,” Rowen says, but beside it are several more jars. We load them up and head back to the Birches. Rowen and Coll are tired. So am I, even though I haven’t done much to contribute.
“We’ll have to come back tomorrow to find more.”
When we get back to our temporary residence, Rowen and Coll bury the muck in the Birches immaculate backyard among all of the flowers and florathat doesn’t normally grow in Montana. I guess leprechauns have green thumbs along with red hair. The nights are getting colder and the leaves starting to fall. Still, their yard goes beyond nature.
After our tiring night, Taylie and I go into the kitchen to make popcorn and drinks along with our dose of muck, things Coll has never had. The guys take showers while Taylie and I catch up on things.
“ You look different somehow, Ashe.”
“Different? I don’t look different.”
“Yeah, you do. You look happy.”
“It’s been crazy. One minute I’m living in Montana going to
college. The next, I ’m fighting for my life in world unlike anything I’ve ever known. Finding out I’m not who or what I thought I was. And, well, then there’s Rowen. He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. He’s had to give up everything for me. Everything.”
“ What do you mean?”
“In Durt, he’s held in high esteem. He was chosen at five years old to be my protector, a sentry. They have a vow of celibacy; a vow to never be in a relationship.”
“That sucks.”
“He’s given up everything to be with me. He’s been exiled from his brethren.”
“His what?”
“His brethren. The group of sentries he was bound to. Now, he really has no home.”
“He has you, Ashe.”
“I hope he doesn’t wake up one day and look at me and realize I’m not worth all of this.”
“He never would have given up everything unless he was getting more than he had. He loves you. He chose you. Now, get over it.”
It’s nice to sit and watch TV. Coll is out of his element. His idea of the human world seems to be changing. Although there’s a sharpness in his voice at times, his angry edge has dulled somewhat.
As Rowen and I sit on the couch watching Casablanca, Coll sits on one side of the room and Taylie on the other. Awkward. Taylie has never been awkward with guys, never, but Coll is no ordinary guy.
There’s still a part of me that’s agitated, unsettled.
“What is it?” Rowen asks.
“Nothing. I’m fine.”
“Liar,” he whispers loud enough for me to hear.
“Okay, I’m not fine. I don’t know what it is. Maybe, I’m worried about Dad. Or finding more muck.” I don’t divulge to him that I thought we were being watched. I don’t tell him I was totally creeped out while we were digging.
“We’ll find more. We’re just getting started. And Henry is exactly where he needs to be. He’s doing what has to be done.”
“I don’t know. I have a feeling something is wrong.”
“Stop worrying. Everything is fine.” He presses his lips against my forehead and then glues his eyes on Humphrey Bogart. His arm wraps around me like a shawl molded for my body.
It’s three in the morning, Taylie has gone home. Coll is asleep in one of the guest rooms, and Rowen is sound asleep. I stare at the ceiling. I can’t sleep. A vision of my mother with a tall blond guy keeps resurfacing in my mind. She’s holding his hand, as they talk.
“You can’t go back,” the young man says to her.
“But I have to. I love him.”
“You can’t love him. He’s merely human. Stay here with me and be my wife. There is nothing there for you. You won’t survive it. You belong here.”
The voices sound so near, and yet, unreachable.
She pushes his hand out of hers gently, but with insistence. “I have to go back to him. I...I...I’m with child.”
“You’re what?” he yells at her as he steps back. “You’re pregnant with a human’s child? Do you know what this means?”
“I have to go,” she says and she runs from him leaving curtain of despair and worry.
He looks vaguely familiar. I know I’ve seen him somewhere before. It troubles me that I can’t figure it out. Maybe it’s a memory given to me by the cube. It all makes me rather uncomfortable. I love the gift Ivy gave me, but sometimes the memories are disturbing. She told me there would be good recollections along with bad. The fact that I don’t understand them causes frustration.
I don’t want to disturb Rowen so I lift his arm from around my waist and sneak away.
I get a glass of water, something to settle me down. As I stand over the sink filling my glass, I take in a few deep breaths while looking out of the picture window providing a perfect view of the backyard. The moon shines over the lawn, dancing on each dewcovered leaf, embracing them. I remember the times I watched my Dad toiling in our yard with his shovel. Those were peaceful days. I was ignorant to everything then. If I’d only known before what all of his efforts meant. He was trying to protect me. How many people could tell their own child that at age eighteen they would be hunted or vanish? It had to have been so hard for him.
A sudden burst of cold shoots through me when out of the stillness a dark shadow floats across the backyard; a smooth, elegant movement of black that isn’t supposed to be there. I put my face up to the glass to see if there’s something there or if I’m imagining things.
The warmth of my breath leaves its fog mark on the freezing window pane. Without forewarning Straif’s face meets mine. He looks straight at me with an evil, yellow tainted smile filling the pane.
“AHHHHH! Oh my God!” I yell waking the house. Straif is gone in a split second.
“What’s wrong?” Rowen is in the kitchen by the time I turn around. My heart beats so hard it hurts and I try to catch my breath.
Coll, rubbing his eyes, follows in right behind him,“What’s going on?”
“Str...Stra...Straif. He’s here.” I can hardly get the words out. “Impossible,” Coll says.
“You’re seeing things. Your imagination is getting the best of you,” Rowen says placing his hands on my shoulder.
“I’m not seeing things. It’s not my imagination. He’s here. Why is that impossible? Bran was here when all of this began. Both of you are here. So, Straif could be here too.” I’m abashed even though I know what I saw.
Coll wears dubiety. “Straif would never risk himself coming here.”
“But the serum was stolen from Ivy’s. He probably has it. He has what he needs to be here. We didn’t see him riding with The Thorn. So, he must have come through the portal before us.” They begin to reconsider their doubt.
“He isn’t going to give up on getting Ashe. He wants her more than anything,” Rowen adds running his hand through his hair trying to make sense of it all while pacing the floor.
Suddenly, Rowen and Coll look at one another as if they’ve been discovered with live bombs in their pockets. Rowen bolts out of the back door and Coll is right behind him. I follow. Rowen kneels down and peers into the unearthed graves of muck. “He’s taken it.” We only had a small supply and we couldn’t afford to lose another drop. I’m not losing my
mind after all, but now we have bigger problems. He’s taken all we’d found.
“He must have slipped in through the portal before us. Ruis stood there watching us walk through the doorway knowing Straif was here.” Rowen picks up a handful of fresh loose dirt and watches it fall grain by grain through his fingers.
Coll pats him on the shoulder. “We’ll get more tonight.”
“And I will guard it with my life,” Rowen says.
We go back to bed and I lie there staring at the ceiling. All of this is my fault. Again, everything about who I am hurts everyone I care about. It has been a horrible day. Sometimes I think it would be best if I went to sleep and never woke up.
I turn to Rowen. I study each line of his face, each curve. I realize waking up will be another day with him, and that’s something I’ll never give up freely.
My mother’s memories continue to resurface. I see her standing in a field of lush grass with blades brushing up against her slender calves, the wind touching her hair enough to brush it away from her face, the sun painting her skin with hues of peach and bronze. Standing beside her is the beautiful blond man I’d seen in previous memories, his face still haunting me with familiarity. Déjà vu deluges me. The sun gleams against his skin giving him a rich glow on his smooth complexion. His lips arched slightly at the edge attempting a smile, but something sinister lurks beneath his expression.
22
As the sun hides behind the distant mountains, Taylie pulls into the driveway. It’s time for digging. She brings some of her brother’s clothes for Coll and Rowen. They quickly change and we’re off again to play in the dirt.
Darkness falls on us quickly. We dig around the edges of our rather large yard a couple of feet into the ground and the sensation comes over me again. Eyes are watching me. I can feel it. I quit my pathetic effort at shoveling and walk toward the forest. A voice in my head calls me, beckoning me.
“ I’ll be back in a minute,” I say.
“Where are you going, Ashe?” Rowen asks.
I don’t answer. I keep walking, robotically without my own
intention.
“AAshee LLeighh, AAshee LLeighh,” the voice calls, the
words drawn out in a ghostly tone of endless sound. Nothing
around me matters. I only want to follow the voice. “AAshhhe
LLeighhh FFFairrrrr,” it continues.
“What are you doing?” Rowen has me by both arms shaking
me gently.
“What?” I feel as if I’ve been sleep walking. “Don’t you hear
it?”
“I don’t hear anything.” He looks at me as if I’ve lost my mind.
“We’re in the middle of nowhere. You took off. Are you alright?” “I thought I heard someone calling me,” I say as I try to figure
out what’s happened.
“Come back. We’ve found some more serum. A few more jars.
We’ve got to get back.”
Taylie sits on the ground by Coll being her usual loquacious
self. The vacant look on Coll’s face is priceless.
“Hey guys, while you’re all here, there is a concert over at the
college tonight. No one will recognize you there. And it’ll be dark.” “What is a concert?” Coll asks.
“You’re not serious?”
“Taylie, you’ve got to remember he’s not from here. And when
I say here, I mean earth.” Rowen laughs a little.
Okay, well it’s where people sit and listen to music. It’s a lot of
fun. We ought to go.”
“We can’t really leave. Someone’s got to stay here and watch
the muck.”
“Coll, you should go with her and get a taste of human life,”
Rowen adds.“Ashe and I will be fine.”
“Alright, I guess I’m in,” Coll says. He still has that deer-inheadlights look.
When we arrive back at the house, I’m so gladI’ll have Rowen
all to myself. The three of us drink our share of muck. There are
only a couple of jars left so we are going to have to guard it with
our lives.
It’s cold outside. We bury the serum, pitch a tent over the
mound, and start a fire. We’ll have to share a sleeping bag to stay
warm. We can only find one. I have to admit I didn’t look very hard
for a second one. This is going to be the perfect night.
Taylie and Coll come out to the tent before leaving. Taylie
looks beautiful as always. Her jeans fit perfectly and her hair is
curled to perfection.
“I won’t keep him out too long. It’s going to be super cold
tonight.” She takes hold of Coll’s hand and pulls him to the car. His
lost expression makes him look less like a sentry and more human
than he would have wanted to admit.
“Coll has no idea what he’s getting into,” Rowen chuckles. “What do you mean?” I pop him on the arm.
“What?” he says innocently. “If he’s as lucky as I am, he won’t
ever look back,” and he kisses me long, and as soft as ever as I
wrap my arms around him pulling his shirt off from behind. Then I
know it’s about to happen. Everything about me feels wonderfully different. I give in completely. I don’t know what I’m doing and neither does he, but I’m more comfortable than I’ve ever been. Our
breathing is heavy, moving in rhythm as our passion intensifies. Then ...the phone rings. I brought the cordless outside into the
tent and now I wish I hadn’t. I try to ignore it.
“Answer it,” Rowen says.
“They’ll call back.”
“Answer it.”
Caller ID indicates it’s Taylie. “Great. Perfect timing, Taylie.” “Slow down. Taylie, what’s wrong!” I can’t understand what
she’s saying behind the hysterics.
For a split second, I wonder what in the world Coll has done.
She’s crying hysterically. The voice on the phone changes. “Taylie? Taylie?”
“Let me talk to Rowen.” It’s Coll.
“What happened? What have you done to her?” I could feel
heat building up in my hand and the smell of burning plastic eases
into the air.
“Ashe, let me talk to Rowen.” His tone is forceful. I hear
Taylie screaming in the background. My agitation is about to melt
the phone so I hand it over to Rowen.
“Straif,” Rowen says.
“What is it?” When Straif’s name comes up, the tension in my
head begins to mount.
“Are you going there with her?” He pauses. “We’ll be here.
Take care of her and be safe. Keep us updated on things.” “What is it?” I knew something was terribly wrong when I
heard Straif’s name.
“There’s been an accident. Well, not an accident exactly.” I
stare at him. “Taylie’s house has burnt down. Her entire family.”
He chokes up, his face falling.
“What? Tell me.”
“Taylie’s parents, her brother. They’re dead. Straif, it has to be
at his hand.”
“Oh my God! Taylie! I’ve got to be there for her.”
“You can’t. It will make things worse, much worse. Coll is
with her.”
“He hates humans. She needs me, Rowen.”
“That’s exactly what Straif wants. We have to stay here.” I’m sick to my stomach. Things have gone much too far. We
wait in the tent, watching over the muck as we try to keep the fire
going. At this point it’s all we can do.
We don’t hear back from Coll until hours later. They’re headed
back. The sun creeps through the gold and red tree branches. The
evergreens remain brilliant, but I�
��m no longer a part of this place.
I’m disconnected somehow, separated from my true self. I miss
Durt and that’s something I didn’t think I would ever say. The car pulls in and Coll’s driving. He barely misses a tree. I
think he’s going to give Taylie whiplash. She’s a mess. Coll and I
help her out of the car. She has makeup smeared down her face.
She’s still crying, but the tears have dried up. We lead her to the
couch. “Taylie, I’m so sorry.”
I hold her hands as she sobs and I try to think of the most
calming moments in my life. Thoughts of painting and drawing
merge through my mind. I envision each stroke and through my
transference, Taylie starts to calm down.
“Ashe, I heard the police talking. They’re looking for Rowen.
They think he’s behind all of this.”
“I’m gonna move your car to the back of the house to be on the
safe side,” I say. When I come back inside she’s weeping again. I
hold her in my arms. “I’m so sorry.”
“It has to be Straif,” Coll insists.
“I’ll kill him. He’ll stop at nothing and neither will I.” Rowen
is beyond anger.
“My aunt is coming down tomorrow to try and plan everything.
I can’t believe they’re really gone.” She begins to sob again. “And
then I have to get some clothes, something to wear to their
funerals.”
As I wake up the morning after, I realize the tragedy of yesterday. How I wished it was only a nightmare. Taylie is still asleep. Rowen and Coll are outside guarding our last bit of muck that will only last a couple more days. And I hear the voice again, “AAshee LLLeighhhh FFFairrrrr, AAshhhhhee LLLeighhhh FFFairrrr.” The faint sound drives me crazy as it beckons. Am I losing my mind? Rowen brings in a jar of muck, and I prepare a glass for each of us.
“ How’s she doing?”
“Better than expected.”
“We need to help her out. She’s lost everything.”
“Come on,” Rowen tells me.
We go into the master bedroom. Right behind the dresser is a
