by India Millar
I was shaking with relief as much as revulsion. Yo had been right. If I hadn’t listened to his wise words, I would surely have been on my way to the execution ground by now.
“I have no intention of killing Akafumu,” I had explained to him. “I want him alive, but as incapable as a newborn baby. A ruined mind in a healthy body that could live for years. I want his sons to fight over his position. For them to go to the shogun on their knees, just as I did to their father. When that happens, I’ll be avenged for what he did to me and all my family.”
Yo stared at me as if I were a stranger to him. “So what do you need from me? It seems as if you have all your plans in place.”
“I need you to get a certain drug for me,” I explained. “Without it, all my plans are nothing. Reiki told me there were potions that could ruin a man’s mind, but leave his body untouched. Do you know about such things?”
“I’ve heard of them, certainly. And I know a certain apothecary who would supply me with the right drug without asking too many questions. But how are you going to get Akafumu to take it? It sounds terribly risky to me.”
“I’ve thought of that,” I said quickly. “I’ll dissolve it in my massage oil. Reiki said the drug would work if it were absorbed through the skin.” I was pleased with myself, and annoyed when Yo shook his head.
“His guards would never let you take anything in with you.”
“You think so? In that case, I’ll put a little in the smallest bottle I can find, and smuggle it in.”
“Where would you hide it? You’re unknown to Akafumu’s court. They’ll search you.” Yo sounded worried. I was becoming angry with him.
“I’ll find somewhere to hide it,” I snapped.
“You think so? I promise, they’ll search in every opening of your body. Even if they didn’t find it, it’s not going to work.” Yo spoke slowly, stressing each word. “Have you thought about the effect it would have on you? If it can be absorbed via the skin, then you would take it into your body through your hands when you gave him his massage.”
My mouth dropped open. I had thought my plan was perfect! How could I have overlooked something so obvious?
“Perhaps if I coated my palms with wax?” Even as I said it, I knew I was beaten.
“No,” Yo said firmly. “If you waxed your palms, you wouldn’t be able to feel his skin and your massage wouldn’t be right. He would be sure to notice the difference and would be suspicious at once. Besides, it’s too dangerous. The oil could get smeared on to your own skin. You have the heart of a dragon, Keiko. But you’re not naturally devious. Unlike me. Forget it. We’ll think of something else, I promise.”
And Yo had thought of something, of course. Although at this precise moment, I could think of nothing but how wise I had been to take his advice. I kept my head lowered submissively and did my best to tremble slightly as if I was in awe of this majestic place. I spoke humbly.
“Can I go through to Lord Akafumu now, sir?” A demon of mischief made me add, “Will you go before me so that the lord is not surprised by my presence?”
The chamberlain frowned and took his hand away from his tree slowly.
“Yes. Of course. Follow behind me, at a respectful distance.”
He paused at the great entrance doors, squaring his shoulders and clearing his throat. I moved close enough to him to allow my breath to touch his neck, hoping to cause him even greater discomfort. He jumped and I swallowed laughter. I noticed he hobbled through with his hands clasped in front of his robe. What fools these men were!
If Lord Akafumu was as stupid as his chamberlain, then my task would be far easier than I had expected.
Eight
When I was a child,
Small things pleased me. Ah, how I
Wish for such ease now!
Reiki had told me cynically that when they were naked, all men were the same.
“It doesn’t matter if they’re a peasant or the shogun himself, once you get them beneath your hands wearing only their skin, you can’t tell them apart. Treat them all the same and don’t worry about it. Pain can’t tell a noble from a beggar.”
In spite of her wise words, I was jittering with nerves by the time the chamberlain forgot his own lusts and finally ushered me into Akafumu’s presence. The chamberlain made me stand by the door as he had a whispered conversation with his lord. I kept my head bowed, my hands tucked in my sleeves. They needn’t have whispered, I heard them clearly enough.
“Reiki dead, is she? Nothing contagious, was it?” Akafumu asked sharply.
“I think not, lord. This one says she died of a congestion of the lungs. She was Reiki’s apprentice, and the old woman instructed her to take her place.”
“Oh, well, I suppose she’s a bit younger than Reiki, if nothing else. Anma, what’s your name?”
“Kamakiri, Lord Akafumu.” I spoke to the tatami.
“Well, that suits you, right enough.” He huffed with laughter at his own wit. I smiled as if his insult had delighted me. “If Reiki sent you, I suppose I had better give you a try. I have the most terrible ache in my belly. Goes right through to my back. Reiki always managed to soothe it a bit for me. Think you can do the same?”
“I will do my best, lord.” I held my head low and whispered my answer reverently. I waited until the chamberlain had gone—he made sure he brushed against me as he passed me by—before shuffling forward to my patron. Reiki had told me that I had to go on my knees before Akafumu and kowtow while I waited for his instructions. I thought cynically that I had done it once, I could manage it again.
Akafumu patted me on the head as if I were a pet dog. I took it as a mark of favor and sighed deeply, a sound that he might take for awed pleasure. It was actually fear leaving my body. As soon as I had stepped inside his grand mansion, I had begun to worry that he might recognize me. I told myself constantly that he would not. He had seen me only once before, from a distance, and I had looked different then, my hair loose and hanging over my face, my skin smeared with wood ash. Now, my hair was pulled back from my face and twisted tightly in a knot at the back of my head. So tightly, it was pulling my face into a grimace. My face and hands were spotlessly clean, my kimono old and threadbare. Yo had done his best to reassure me, pointing out that Akafumu would hardly associate a blind anma with a noblewoman come to his court to beg a favor.
“That’s half of the art of being an invisible shinobi,” he told me. “If I dress like a rich merchant and act like one, nobody at all associates me with the half-naked peasant they saw working in the fields the day before. Even you, who have more perception than anybody I know, wouldn’t think about it.”
He was right, but I worried until the moment Akafumu shed his clothes, throwing them to the ground with the carelessness of a man who simply expects a servant to pick them up. Naked, he flopped gracelessly to his divan, awaiting my attentions impatiently.
Reiki had trained me well. I knew as soon as I saw his naked body that I could treat his belly and backache effortlessly. When he took off his clothes, I could see clearly enough that his bones were well padded with fat, which had settled particularly in his belly. There was nothing at all wrong with him that less food and more exercise wouldn’t solve quickly. But I made sure I took my time over the massage, grunting as if it was causing me great effort.
“Would my lord do me the favor of turning over?” I hid a grin at the sight of his buttocks, rearing at me like an over-ripe peach. Reiki had been right, it was impossible to feel fear when a man was trusting—and foolish—enough to present his naked rear to you. My fingers itched to reach for the nerve that ran from the base of the spine down each leg. Reiki had demonstrated to me—in fact, on me—how agonizing the pain any malfunction in this nerve could be. I could paralyze Lord Akafumu with one pinch. I contented myself with giving a light press in just the right place, and I was immediately rewarded with a squeal of agony.
“Ah, but that is painful! You’re supposed to be healing me, Kamakiri, not caus
ing me hurt. You’re even clumsier than Reiki was.”
Lord Akafumu squirmed beneath my hands. I thought that he sounded exactly like a small child who had fallen and not taken any great hurt, but who still cries for his mother to comfort him. I pressed a little harder and schooled my expression to be deeply concerned as he yelped.
“I am so sorry, lord,” I said quickly. “But until I can find where the pain originates from and what is causing it, I cannot help to take it away from you. Reiki told me how serious the problem was.”
“I suppose you’re right,” he said. His mouth was set in a sulky pout. I longed to give him a good smack on his naked buttocks. “Have you finished? Reiki never caused me as much hurt as you do.”
“Reiki was an old woman, lord. She did not have my strength.”
“To be sure, you are certainly a strong young thing.” He sounded appreciative, and I took a swift, cautious step away from the table where he lay, rolling my neck as if to ease a crick out of it.
“If you will allow me, lord?” I knew perfectly well why the wretched man had a backache. His pendulous belly would cause him to walk hunched over, putting a strain on the small of his back. I pursed my lips and blew out air with a concerned sound.
“What is it?” Where his own well-being was concerned, Akafumu was instantly alert.
“Reiki told me how your back made you suffer, lord.” I made sure my voice was deeply concerned. “I know you also have pain in your stomach, but I think that is coming from your back. And now I understand what causes it. There are very many nerves, just here.” I couldn’t resist, I gave him a pinch and nodded wisely when he howled with pain. “You see? I barely touched you and your body protested.”
“Can you heal it? Reiki never could, or at least not permanently. The pain always came back after a while.”
Of course Reiki hadn’t helped him too much. She depended for every grain of rice in her bowl on what Akafumu paid her. When he actually paid her, that was. She could have cured him quickly enough with a deep massage and hints about his diet, but she needed to keep him in pain. But then, so did I.
For a different reason.
“I hope that I can help, lord. But it will not be easy. I believe the nerves at the base of your spine are beginning to knot together. If it’s not possible to treat them properly, the pain will become a great deal worse. Much worse,” I added seriously. “Eventually, it may be that they are impossible to heal and you will find it difficult even to walk.”
Akafumu whimpered. “Then do something about it, anma.”
“Yes, lord,” I said obediently. “I can most certainly ease the condition for a while.”
“Reiki could do that. What I want is a cure,” he snapped.
I set my lips in a straight line. I had to; I was longing to break into a grin. What a fool this great daimyo was! He was suffering from nothing more than the results of his own greed, yet he was persuaded he was enduring the most malignant pain the gods could inflict. Perhaps this was going to be easier than I had hoped.
“Of course, lord. May I ask, do you smoke opium? It can help relieve pain,” I said earnestly. “Especially in cases like yours, where I believe the nerves are knotted because you cannot relax. That is a condition that is nearly always found in men of great power. Because you are constantly thinking of affairs of state, your body takes its cue from your mind and refuses to be eased.”
“I see.” I had appealed to his vanity; Akafumu nodded. “There may be something in what you say. I have so many calls on my time, I do find it very difficult to relax. But I already take opium occasionally. Of course I do. Even my good friend the shogun takes a pipe. If it hasn’t done me any good so far, it’s not going to help, is it?”
“My lord is very wise.” I stroked the muscles of his lower back smooth and felt his body relax beneath my hands. I reminded myself to tread very carefully. Akafumu was a fool, but where his health was concerned, he was alert enough. “May I ask what sort of opium you use?”
“How should I know? The servants prepare me a pipe, and I smoke it. Ah. Now that feels a little better.” He sat up and stretched. “But the pain will come back, you say?”
“It will,” I spoke regretfully. “The body is linked to the mind in ways that are little understood, lord.”
“So, you’re as useless as Reiki was. In that case, get out and don’t come back.”
He had worked himself into a fury. I had a moment of panic. This was the most dangerous time. I spoke rapidly before he could clap his hands to have his servants throw me out.
“My lord, I beg your indulgence for a moment longer. Surely it will be worth it if I can find something that will ease your terrible pain?” I knew it! Mention of his pain had Akafumu deflating. He nodded and then, remembering I was blind, sighed.
“I suppose you might as well have your say. You have one moment longer. If I don’t like what you’re saying, you’re going to regret it.”
“I understand, lord.” He shifted uncomfortably, and I spoke in an urgent murmur. “My lord, I understand that a noble such as you would find it difficult to relax. That your mind is always occupied with higher things.” He was beginning to preen. I relaxed a little. “Because of that, you must make your body calm in spite of the powerful action of your mind. I believe that opium will help with that.”
“I’ve already told you I take a pipe occasionally,” he said sulkily. “Is that the best you can do?”
“No, lord. There is more, I promise you. Because your mind is so alert and agile, it is obvious to me that normal opium is not strong enough to make any impression on your character. To be truly relaxed, you need to take only the strongest and purest paste that is available. And not just occasionally, you must take a pipe regularly. At least twice a day. More often than that if your pain comes back. And of course, you will still need regular massages to ensure that the nerves do not knot themselves again.”
I stopped. I sensed that if I pushed my “remedy” any further, Akafumu would begin to question my words. I let him think about it in silence.
“I notice that you think I would still need your services regularly.” He sneered. I hunched my shoulders and tried to look terrified. “Well, I’ll give it a try. An opium pipe never hurt anybody. I’ll tell my chamberlain to procure some of the really good stuff for me. You may come back in seven days from now. And I hope for your sake that I feel better for following your advice. If I don’t, you’ll be sorry.”
That was it. He stared at his fingernails as if they were far more important than I was. I bowed my way out of the presence-chamber backward, bowing deeply. My heart was beating so hard it almost deafened me. I would surely return as often as I could persuade Akafumu I was needed. And I hoped that each time I would find that the daimyo was more and more in thrall to the opium I had prescribed for him. I had a sudden vision of Yo’s earnest face as he explained his plan to me, and I sighed deeply as I remembered our discussions.
“It will take time,” he admitted. “But the more you can persuade him to take, the quicker he will be enslaved.”
“You’re sure?” I asked doubtfully. I was not happy; so much depended on things that were out of my control. What if Akafumu didn’t become addicted? If he did, what if his wives realized what was happening to him and persuaded him to stop? And above all else, was Yo really sure the opium would have the desired effect? So much could go wrong, and the longer the process took, the greater the danger became.
“If he takes the superior opium, it will enthrall him,” Yo reassured me. “It would take a man of very great strength of mind to withstand it for long, and I don’t believe Akafumu is at all strong. Eventually, he will care for nothing at all but his pipe. He will forget he’s a great daimyo. Forget he has a position in life. He will be just as you want him. Alive and healthy but with no mind to call his own.”
I had taken the first step and survived. I was deeply relieved, but my good humor melted away quickly. It was a minor thing, but I wanted my fee. T
he thought that a man as wealthy as Akafumu could cheat a poor anma out of her few coins annoyed me greatly. The chamberlain was nowhere to be found. I asked any passing servant I could find if they had seen him, but they shrugged my question away. Finally, I sat in the middle of the corridor leading to Akafumu’s apartment and refused to be budged. It didn’t take long at all for the scurrying servants to weary of walking around me, and the chamberlain arrived in an annoyed bustle.
“Anma. What do you think you’re doing? If the daimyo has finished with you, go away.”
“Lord Akafumu said you would pay me.” My voice was a beggar’s whine
“Of course I will. Reiki was paid at the end of each full moon. If my lord is happy with you, you will be paid then.”
“I shall starve!” I moaned. “If you don’t give me money now, I shall be dead before I can come back!” I grabbed blindly for the hem of his robe and clutched it. “I promise you, Lord Akafumu was happy with my services. He wants me to come back in seven days, so he must have been happy. Give me some money and I will go now.”
The chamberlain gave in gracelessly. He threw some coins on the floor and I pattered around with my hands eagerly, pretending to search for them. He was gone before I retrieved the last one.
“May the gods bless you, my lord!” I shouted loudly.
Matsuo was waiting exactly where I had left him by the main gate. I would have liked to have taken my protector inside, but caution stopped me. I had doubted that Akafumu would recognize me, but I thought it all too likely that he, or one of his courtiers, would remember Isamu’s magnificent akita and no doubt wonder what a poor anma was doing with him.
Nine
Everything made by
The hand of man must die. The
Gods alone survive
I put my miserable fee into Yo’s hands proudly. It was nothing more than a pittance, but I was delighted to be contributing something for us to live on.
