by India Millar
“Really?” I asked questioningly. “Will you be in danger? Should I pray for your safe return?” Yo shrugged and stared at his feet. I was intrigued. I put my head close to him and breathed softly on his cheek. “Tell me, or I shall not let you go at all.”
“And you think you could stop me?”
“I could do my best to try.” I smiled and Yo laughed finally.
“Stop making it worse, Keiko. You know I don’t want to leave you. I wouldn’t go if I thought there was any danger here for you. But I don’t believe there is, and there should be no danger at all for me. I’m going to help a very wealthy merchant in Kobe. A man who claims to be a high-ranking civil servant from Kyoto has asked to marry his daughter. The merchant is pleased, of course, but he’s a very shrewd man and he is suspicious. This man is unknown to him. He’s very fond of his beautiful only daughter, and he wants to be sure that the marriage would be a good one. He wants to be absolutely certain her suitor isn’t just a fortune hunter.”
I was deeply impressed. A man who was so fond of his daughter that he would hire a shinobi to find out about her suitor? I thought sourly of the match my own father—and Lord Akafumu—had proposed for me and hoped the girl realized how lucky she was.
“Can’t he ask about this man himself? If he really is a high-ranking civil servant, people will know about him, surely?” I asked.
“He claims to come from Kyoto. Kyoto society is not Kobe society.” Yo pointed out. “And my patron’s nothing but a merchant. No matter how wealthy he is, he’s still a riverbed beggar in the eyes of the aristocracy. He can hardly simply go to Kyoto and barge into society and start asking questions.”
“And you can?” I asked.
“I can. I will become a very minor noble from Edo. As a man of good family, I can mingle with society with no suspicions. But even then, it will take time. I must establish myself in Kyoto society. Make myself known to the right people. Only then can I begin to find out if the suitor is who he says he is.”
“Sounds as if you’ll be safe enough,” I teased. “Hardly any need for you to unsheathe your sword, I would have thought.”
Yo smiled reluctantly in response to my words. “I’m sure I’m not going to be in any danger this time. But what about you?”
I shrugged off his concerns. I would continue to visit Lord Akafumu in my role as an anma, I said. I would cause him pain, as much as I could. I shook my head at Yo’s disapproving face. Afterward, I would persuade him to take a pipe of a particularly strong opium Yo had obtained for me.
“If the gods smile on us, you might find I have avenged myself to my satisfaction by the time you get back,” I said innocently. I made a great effort not to think of Adam’s magic pills; Yo knew far too well how my mind worked.
He stared at me for a long time and then shook his head.
“You are truly a brave woman, Keiko-chan.” I was pleased, but his next words took my smile away. “But because of that, you make yourself vulnerable. Take care, I beg you.”
“Go away,” I said cheerfully. “Do your best for your rich patron. Come back laden with cash, and then we’ll talk again.”
I shooed him out of the door and closed it behind him. He would not expect me to watch him walk away, and I would not do it. It was only when I could no longer hear his footsteps in the quiet street that I realized he had told me to contact the kannushi of the temple if I needed to get in touch with him. Why hadn’t he simply told me how I could contact him? Didn’t he trust me? I was annoyed, and it took me a long time to realize that Yo was trying to protect both of us. If I genuinely did not know where to find him, then if there were problems I could not betray where he was.
I might be onna-bugeisha, but truly I had much to learn about the art of deception.
The house felt oddly empty without him. Matsuo came and put his head on my knee. I patted him absently and let my thoughts wander. Yo had gone. The moment I had been waiting for had arrived. I had no idea how much time I had to myself. There was so very much I had to do, and Yo would approve of none of it.
“Just as well he’s not here, isn’t it?” I said to Matsuo. He raised his paw to me as if he wanted me to take it, and I grasped it with a smile. Matsuo whined and I relaxed my grip. When I probed, I found he had a long thorn embedded in his pad. I pulled it out quickly, but the area looked sore and inflamed.
“Oh, poor Matsuo!” I comforted him. I bathed his paw carefully with water infused with herbs and told him firmly not to lick it. That was a nuisance. I had expected him to accompany me today, but it was now clear that he should stay in the house. I put one of my old tabi socks around his paw and tied it off.
“Don’t lick!” I said again. I picked up Yo’s staff, which he had left at the side of the shoji. Matsuo whimpered when I left him behind. I felt sorry for my poor dog, and also quite irritated on my own behalf. Kamakiri the anma had become so used to having him at her side, I felt naked without him. Well, it was no good. A broken mirror cannot be made to shine; I had my staff to pat my way with, and that would have to do.
I was relying on chance today. I hoped Adam would be in his house. If not, I would simply have to wander casually up and down the streets near his home until I found him. If not today, then tomorrow. Or the next day. I could be as patient as necessary. Once I found him, I would obtain his morphine pills. How, exactly, would depend on how events played out once I was in his house. Whatever happened, I had no intention of leaving without them.
The staff still felt slightly clumsy in my grip. It had been made to balance for Yo, and he was of a different build than me. I concentrated on the sounds it made, listening to the soft echoes and calculating how they bounced back from my surroundings. This, I thought, was how Reiki had found her way about so confidently. I wondered if she was happy with her son, and I hid a smile as I guessed her daughter-in-law was far less happy.
“Ah, anma. I have the most dreadful pain. Do you think you could help me?”
A young man’s voice. Mocking and sly. I stopped instantly, angry that I had let my thoughts wander to the extent that he had been able to approach quite closely without me noticing. There was another man behind me; I could hear him trying not to laugh.
“I will do my best to help you. What is your pain?”
“Ooh. I really don’t think I could describe it to you, anma. Here, feel.”
I really had put too many drops in my eyes. My vision was so blurred the man’s outline wavered. He snatched my hand and pushed it against his tree. He was already half-erect, no doubt with amusement at the thought of teasing a helpless blind woman.
“It feels perfectly healthy to me,” I said crisply. “Let me pass, please. I have a patron waiting for me and I don’t have time to waste with you.” I was pleased with the fluency of my lie.
“Now there’s a nice way to treat a man in pain.” He was laughing openly now. His friend touched me on the shoulder. I had felt him move, but I pretended to jump as if I was startled.
“Please, young sirs,” I whined. “Let me pass by.”
“Treated some patrons already today, anma?” The man who had been behind me had moved to stand at the side of his friend. “Got some cash hidden in your obi, have you?”
“I have nothing,” I said firmly. “No money at all. Let me pass. I’ve nothing to interest you.”
“You think so? Well. It’s a shame you’ve no money. But you’re very young for an anma. And they do say that you blind women know your way around a man’s body better than those who can see. I think we might get our money’s worth out of you anyway.”
I guessed he was nodding to his companion. There was a narrow alley to my left; I could feel the empty space. They had chosen a secluded spot; I could hear nobody nearby. Although I was angry to think I had to waste my time on these two, they surely needed to be taught a lesson, and I would be pleased to provide it.
The first man lunged at me. I hit him sharply on the knee with the padded end of my staff. Out of all the joints in
the human body, the knee has the most nerves. A blow that would cause no more than annoyance elsewhere is intensely painful if the right part of the knee is struck—as my tormentor found out. A second later, he was crouched over, howling and rubbing his knee fiercely.
“Get the bitch, Teo. Hang on to her for me.”
Teo was as noisy as he was inept. I heard the rustle of his kimono and the slap of his zori on the hard-packed earth of the street and was ready for him. The metal-tipped end of my staff hit him square in the ribs. He went down with a grunt and didn’t rise again. I turned to face the first man, who had stopped rubbing his knee and was squaring up to me, his fists jabbing the air in front of him.
“Got lucky there, didn’t you? Well, it’s not going to happen twice. We would have been nice to you. But not now. Get up, Teo.” He prodded the gasping Teo with his foot. While he was distracted, I ducked under his flailing fists and thrust my staff into the hollow beneath his chin. Unlike Teo, he went down silently, his eyes rolling back in his head.
“Ready for a bit more, Teo-san?” I asked sweetly. I held my staff across my breasts, both hands holding it firmly. “As your friend said, this poor, blind anma was just lucky the first time. How could I possibly hurt a big, strong young man like you?”
I didn’t need to look to see him scrabble to his hands and knees and run down the street, bent double as he wheezed for breath. I gave the first man a brisk kick in his ribs, just in case he was pretending to be unconscious, but I needn’t have bothered. He didn’t even flinch. I rolled him into the alley with my foot and walked away jauntily, wishing they had put up more of a fight.
The blood was still singing in my veins as I joined the main street. Men jostled past me carelessly, and I found it quite difficult to resist the temptation to trip them—accidentally, of course—with my staff. If it hadn’t been for the need to make myself as inconspicuous as possible, I would have left a few bruises to mark my passage.
“Anma?” I realized I was still wound up from my fight when I whirled around, my staff up and ready to strike. “Kamakiri, it’s me, Adam. Has something frightened you? Are you all right?”
I almost laughed in his face. I was still alight with my victory; Yo would have recognized the emotion immediately. I reminded myself that this was a gaijin. His insights would surely be as different as his appearance.
I lowered the staff quickly. “Adam-san. I am so glad it’s you. Two men tried to rob me. I was lucky I escaped from them.”
“Where? Close to here? Would you recognize them again?” I heard him take a sharp intake of breath. “Forgive me. That was very tactless of me. Of course you wouldn’t be able to recognize them. Never mind, you’re safe now with me.”
He paused, and I put my head on one side as I tried to identify the surge of emotions that were flowing from him. Genuine embarrassment for his supposed mistake. But beneath it, I caught real concern. For me? I was amazed. This gaijin barely knew me. Why should he care about me?
“Thank you, Adam-san.” I bowed my head. “How is your back? Good, I hope?”
“Do come to one side.” Adam took my arm and coaxed me out of the crowd. I did my best not to flinch and pull away. “I’m afraid it’s not good at all. In fact, I’d hoped to find you. I’ve kept an eye open for you for days.” I wondered absently if his words had become tangled in the translation. Why would he keep only one eye open for me? What was wrong with both eyes? His next words drove all desire to smile away. “I think I must have injured my spine when I took a fall not long after I met you. It’s been so painful, I had to risk asking our doctor to let me have some morphine pills. As I told you, I hate taking them, but it was the only way I could get a little sleep.”
“Well, I’m here now. Perhaps I could help you?” I smiled, and my smile widened as Adam looked flustered and then pleased. Even with my smeared vision, his pleasure was palpable. “Would you like me to massage your back for you?”
As I waited for him to answer, I wondered how it was possible for one of the gaijin doctors to be so skilled they could make a pill that vanquished pain and yet at the same time be so foolish they didn’t understand that Adam’s pain had nothing at all to do with his back. I had not long to wait. He spoke eagerly.
“If you have time, I would be very grateful. My own doctor is very skilled, of course, but he certainly doesn’t have your magic touch.”
My touch was magic? What nonsense! It had nothing to do with magic and everything to do with understanding how the body worked. I smiled graciously, acknowledging his words.
“Has something happened to your dog?” I was absurdly pleased. How unexpected that he should notice Matsuo’s absence. “Does he truly guide you? How does he know where you want to go? I find that amazing.”
There it was again, the strange gulf between wisdom and ignorance of the obvious. Isamu had told me that arquebuses—the gun that had killed both him and our father—were made from some process so advanced it was unknown to us Japanese, the secret of their manufacture known only to the gaijin. Yet every Japanese person simply accepted that the bond between a dog and its owner meant that the animal was easily capable of guiding their master—or mistress—away from any danger. Yet that common knowledge appeared miraculous to Adam.
It was all very strange.
“Matsuo’s paw is sore. He picked up a thorn in it, so I thought it best to leave him inside,” I explained. “I manage well enough with my staff.”
“So you do.” Perhaps Adam remembered his manners; he let go of my arm as abruptly as if it was red hot. “I think you’re incredible. If I didn’t know you were blind, I would never believe it.”
I cleared my throat, wondering if my act was perhaps too good. Fortunately, we arrived at Adam’s house at that moment. Once more he stood back to let me pass through. I heard a man in the street laugh, an ugly sound, and I was glad when the shoji slid closed behind us. I was sure that, in his own way, Adam was a good man. Gaijin were disliked enough anyway; I had no wish to bring any more disgust down on him.
“Please, do sit down. Can I get you some tea?” Such politeness to a blind anma! I was enchanted and spoke warmly.
“Thank you, but no.”
“You’re smiling, Kamakiri-san. I know my Japanese is not good. Have I said something amusing by mistake?”
He sounded so worried, I hurried to explain.
“Not at all. Your Japanese is excellent. I was smiling at you offering to get tea for me. In Japan, it is always the woman who serves the man. Have you visited a teahouse?”
“Oh, yes. A number of them. I’ve been entertained by many very beautiful and talented geisha. Why do you ask?”
I was surprised to find I was annoyed. Adam found the highly painted and highly paid geisha beautiful? I shrugged casually.
“Then you must have noticed that it is accounted a great virtue here for a woman to understand that she is less worthy than her patron. A Japanese man would never offer to serve a woman with tea. Or anything else for that matter. The man must always come first.”
“I noticed that. In my country, it is considered polite for a gentleman to always ensure a lady’s comfort before his own.”
“Then the women in your country are truly fortunate, Adam-san,” I said politely. “Would you like to make yourself comfortable on the tatami? Then I can ease your pain for you.”
“Thank you.” He sounded grateful, and I wondered again if the gaijin women understood how truly blessed they were. And yet…would I be happy if Yo subjugated himself to my wishes? If he asked me my advice before he did anything? If he agreed with me all the time rather than arguing with me? I knew I would not. Surely, it was far better for both of us to have a voice and to wrangle an answer out between us.
“I’m ready, Kamakiri.”
Adam had taken off his robe and was lying face down on the tatami. I knelt beside him, looking carefully before I touched. That had been the first lesson I had learned from Reiki. Don’t assume you know what the problem is just
from what your patron has told you. Always remember most men are not only fools, but babes when it comes to pain. They may be convinced the pain and numbness they feel in their hands at night is caused by too much tight gripping on a pen or a sword. It is your place to know that the pain comes from the nerves in their neck and is nothing to do with their fingers. So now I inspected Adam’s neck and back carefully, in case anything had happened to him since I had last seen him.
He had a large bruise halfway down his back, no doubt from where he had fallen. I was about to run my finger over it when I paused. He was a young, fit man. What had caused him to lose his balance?
“Adam-san, you told me you fell in the street. What caused you to fall? Did you trip over something? Did you slip?”
“No, nothing like that.” His voice was muffled by the tatami. “It was very odd. I was just walking along and suddenly I felt as if my body no longer belonged to me. The next thing I knew, I had fallen and was lying in the street.”
Ah! Reiki had been right yet again. I was certain the problem was caused by his neck.
“And what did your doctor say to you?” I was cautious. Surely, the gaijin doctor would know far more than a simple anma.
“He said it was just a dizzy spell.” I didn’t understand what Adam meant. He must have picked up on my uncertainty as he went on to explain. “Just a passing thing. He thought it might have been caused by a cold in my head, or possibly too much sake the night before. Although I did explain to him that I had drunk very little.”
“I see.” The doctor was half wise, half fool, then. “Did he examine you?”
“No. He said there was no need. Told me I was fit and not to worry about it.”
I began to wonder if Adam’s doctor had any wisdom at all. But of course, he was in Japan and not his own country. Surely, even the most skilled acupuncture master would find himself at a loss if he tried to cure a gaijin’s ills; truly, the saying “ten men, ten colors” was very true.
“I’m sure he was right,” I agreed soothingly. I probed carefully at the point where his spine became his neck. Adam grunted with pain. I took no notice and prodded harder. Adam tensed, and I changed the gesture into a gentle stroking motion until he relaxed.
