"How can you want to help a monster?" he demanded.
"You're not a monster," I yelled back. "You're a man, like any other.” His laugh was cynical. "Okay, maybe not like any other," I amended. "I just mean that everyone has another side to them. Everyone needs help with something. You're no different."
"Except that when other men get mad they don't try to eat the person they're arguing with." I laughed—I couldn't help it. It was a bizarre image to conjure in my head. The laughter only made Brett angrier.
"Do you think this is funny?" he asked. His eyes glowed a bright yellow and his fingers began to transform into talons. My breath caught in my throat and I stepped away from him. His eyes swam with pain as he struggled to hold the dragon inside. Puffs of smoke actually flew from his nostrils. Finally, his head snapped from side to side and his body trembled, and then he was Brett again.
He stared at me with a menacing look. "You see. I can barely keep it at bay." His eyes were hurting. "You won't go?" he asked.
I shook my head, my heart hammering. Every synapse in my brain told me to run, but every fiber of my being told me I had to stay. "Then I'll just have to make you leave," Brett said, rushing from the room.
I ran after him as he crossed the hall to my room.
"What are you doing?" I asked, as he picked up a suitcase and flung it on the bed.
"What does it look like?" he snapped.
"I'm not leaving." I pulled the suitcase off the bed and hurled it across the room. Brett retrieved it without a word and started to fill it with my clothes. My anger was bubbling over the surface, but so was my heartache. If he wanted me to go this badly, maybe I should just leave. His hand touched mine as we struggled over a dress that he was trying to put in. It sent a wild buzz of energy up my skin. I couldn't believe Brett didn't feel it too.
"This isn't even my dress," I said, holding one end of it, trying to get it away from him so I could put it back in the closet where it belonged.
"Yes it is," he yelled, "I bought it for you."
"Well I don't want it. I don't want any of the stuff you bought me."
He yanked the dress hard and it ripped down the middle. He glared at me and I glared right back at him. "Fine," he said. "Leave the clothes if you don't want them. It matters little to me." But I saw a flash of hurt in his eyes.
"Why can't I just stay?" I asked. "Let me help you find your treasure. You must have some idea of what it is."
Slowly, he shook his head. "No," he said. "I haven't a clue. I've tried everything I could think of, but none of it has done any good."
"So, let me help then. Maybe you're just searching in the wrong places."
He turned his eyes to me. "No one can help me," he said. "It's too late. I was barely able to pull myself back in my room just now. I can feel my body wanting to shift even as we talk. I have mere days left. Perhaps a week, if I'm lucky. You have to leave. It's for your own safety."
I shook my head, tears filling my eyes. "I have nowhere else to go," I said. "I've tried making a life here, a career and friends, and until I met you, I'd failed at both. You're the only good thing that has happened to me since moving to L.A. If I leave here now, the only place for me to go is back home. And I won't do that."
Doubt flickered across Brett's face. "I can't have you stay. What if I hurt you? I'd never forgive myself. Let me get you an apartment. A car. I'll handle everything. You won't have to worry and you can stay in Los Angeles as long as you’d like."
I turned on him. "You can't buy me Brett! I want to help you because I love you, not because I feel obligated to you."
"What did you say?" he asked.
I replayed my words and froze when I realized what he was getting at. "I... I said I love you." I searched myself and realized it was true. It had been since day one. Brett was my heart and soul. I couldn't leave, because my heart was tethered to this place. No, not to this place, to him.
Brett's cheeks flushed. For a moment, I thought he was going to get angry, but his hands came up to cup either side of my face and his eyes bore a look I’ll never forget. It was the first time anyone had ever looked at me like that… like I was everything.
Chapter 13
The energy between us was too intense to ignore, even for Brett. He'd tried to fight it at first, but the attraction was too palpable and I felt him slowly lose himself to his desires. His mouth descended over mine like fire on my skin. I reached my hands up, moving them across his back, feeling his muscles ripple under his skin. I tightened my grip on him, afraid he might pull away at any moment. His lips were sweet tasting and hot as hell as my tongue rolled across them, tasting him.
My heart pounded in my chest and my breath quickened. "Brett," I whispered. His response was to hoist me up and walk me backward until I felt my back crash against the wall. Instinctively I wrapped my legs around his waist. His body rolled against mine and I could feel Brett’s long, thick erection pushing against the fabric of my clothing. His mouth moved to my neck. He ran his lips over my throat. His teeth grazed the pulse at the base of my neck as my hips continued to rock against him, the bulge under the thin sheet he wore to conceal it hitting me in just the right spot. I could feel a tingling heat burning through my core.
“Brett…” I choked out, “I want you… inside me.”
Brett's whole body burned. I could feel it even through his clothes. He swung me around and threw me down on the bed. His chest was a map of muscles—mesas and valleys highlighted in his bronze skin. He was hard as a rock and I wondered how he got this way when I never saw him work out. He pushed me back and crawled over me on the bed.
"Uh uh..." I murmured, placing one foot against his chest to stop him from getting too close. “Not just yet,” I said slyly. I backed away from him, pushing myself to the corner of the bed (which was so big it could have held eight people) and slowly unbuttoned the shirt I wore. Brett's eyes bugged out of his head as I freed my breasts He looked almost as though he would drool on himself. I reached behind my back and unhooked my bra letting my breasts bounced out, spilling into the open air, full and round. I was enjoying the hell out of the expression on his face as I toyed with him. He looked at my tits like he’d just won the lottery.
He moved across the bed, a fire flaring in his eyes. I watched him, waiting for his touch. He hands stroked over me, caressing my breasts with long, strong fingers that were surprisingly tender. I arched my back for him. "Don't be shy," I purred. He grinned and leaned into me, his tongue stroking my nipples. They grew hard as pebbles as he worked his tongue over them. It was so evident the enjoyment my body brought him and I relished in it. I’d never had a man worship me the way Brett did.
I moved closer to him, wrapping my legs around him. He stopped me, pulling my legs away one at a time and sliding his hand up and over my thighs. He undid my belt buckle with lighting speed and tore my jeans off me. He tossed them aside with a wicked grin.
"Now what?" I asked, teasing him. I licked my lips and waited to see if he'd take my hint. Brett's mind had already gone there, though, he was a step ahead of me, and when my legs parted for him, he rubbed a finger over the crotch of my panties, already soaking wet. He ripped my panties in two with ease before his tongue sank into me, lapping at the folds of my slick pussy with perfect speed and agility. I moaned and couldn't stop myself from gyrating my body under him. His hands reached out and pushed down on either side of my hips, holding me still.
"Don't move," he whispered. "I wouldn't want to bite you."
I looked down to see if he was joking and the smile in his eyes was answer enough. I laid back and tried to be still as his tongue circled my clit, sending shockwaves through my entire body. It felt as though we were meant for each other. I pushed my hips against his mouth and he worked faster, sensing my pleasure with each tremble of my body.
I wanted to taste him, too. I pushed him backwards, and he let me, lying back on the mattress. I untied the singed sheet that slung low on his waist. I saw him grin as my eyes widened into saucers. "
Is that thing real?" I asked, feeling my cheeks burn for asking such a silly question.
"Last time I checked," he said. I drew him into my mouth before I could say anything else so foolish. He tasted like a cross between red wine, a deep Merlot that ripens with age, and fresh peaches. I drank his bottle, filling myself with the exotic flavors of his manhood as he moaned under me. I explored every inch of his body with my tongue.
"Are you done examining me?" he asked, teasing me now when I came up for air.
"That depends," I said. He raised an eyebrow. "On whether or not you're ready to finish what you started."
His eyes darkened and he rolled me over so that his body was on top of me now. His cock pressed against the folds of my pussy and I felt electric heat spark between us. My body flexed under his, preparing myself for his intimidatingly thick shaft. I shivered in anticipation. "Now," I said, and he thrust himself into me without waiting for another word.
I felt his mass fill me like a tidal wave covering the shore. An explosion went off inside my body. My head filled with sensations of ecstasy I'd never known existed. He looked at me with worried eyes. "Are you alright?" he whispered, worried when he saw my eyes water.
"I've never felt so alive," I told him. He smiled and pressed his lips to mine as he continued to pleasure me, his thrusts keeping time with the steady rhythm of our hearts.
His movements were gentle, but firm and focused. He let me get used to him. I loved the way he filled me so completely. We were like two puzzle pieces finding a match in one another. I moved my hips up hard to meet his, letting him know he didn't need to be gentle with me. He answered my call by pushing deeper, his cock making slick sounds as he pumped furiously in and out of me.
I screamed under him and clawed his back with my hands. His body arched and I felt his lower extremities stiffen.
My skin tingled each time his pelvis slapped mine, and soon I saw the door to a new world open before me. I stepped through it and felt my body give in to the erotic sensations that racked me now. I shuddered uncontrollably and Brett picked up the pace, pushing himself harder and faster as my body began to convulse. My heart raced and my mind stopped being able to think.
"Brett!" I screamed as he pushed into me one last time. Then the world went black except for his face, which glowed above me. His warm seed rushed into me in throbbing pulses and my head filled with light and air until my body gave out and we fell together into a deep abyss.
We laid quietly together for a long moment, his breath soothing me. "I love you," I whispered, nuzzling my head against his chest.
"It doesn't matter," he said. "This will never work." Then he fell asleep, leaving me alone with a fresh hurt and time to think.
Chapter 14
I walked towards the bus gasping for air. The idea of going home sent waves of panic through me, but I didn't know how to stop them. The sidewalk wavered and for a second I thought I might faint, then I regrouped somehow and felt my resolve steady. At least for now. For a moment last night, I'd been so certain that everything was going to work out. Brett loved me too, I'd thought. It had seemed that way when our bodies were connected. I'd almost thought I could read his mind. Then he'd said it: "This will never work."
Even after the incredible physical connection we'd shared, he still wanted me to leave. My heart had crumbled into a million pieces while he'd gone to sleep. I wondered if he had any idea how much those words had hurt me. If he knew, would he be sorry? Did he even have feelings? I was beginning to think he repressed everything about himself. Maybe he didn't even know what he wanted himself.
I'd written him a quick note and had left it on the pillow next to him. It was still early when I'd left. Brett had been snoring, but I had been certain he would wake up before night fall. I'd stopped in to say good-bye to Jeremy and let him know he'd have to lock Brett up that night. He'd actually hugged me and told me he was sorry to see me go.
Now, I was waiting for the bus to open its doors so it could whisk me back to Bliss, Idaho, where my mother was waiting to berate me until I died. I was leaving Brett against my will, but at least I was leaving with my pride intact. No putting me up in an apartment or paying my bills like I was his painted doll.
Rejected, painted doll.
I pictured the small town I was from, it's general store no bigger than a closet, one doctor for the whole town, the boys I'd either have to settle for or end up an old maid. My phone rang and I jumped, dropping it. I fumbled to pick it back up, so certain it was Brett I didn't even check the caller I.D.
"Hello," I said, breathless, my heart starting to race. My agent's voice crackled into my ear.
"Hey kid, glad I caught you. I got you an audition for today. Get to Sunset and La Brea by noon."
"Er... that might be a little difficult," I said, disappointment rushing me.
"Don't give me that. You've been out of it for weeks now. If you don't go to this one, I gotta drop you." He wasn't mean exactly, just perfunctory. He was right, too. I don't know why I was clinging to the idea of keeping my agent when I was waiting for a bus to take me back to Idaho.
I thanked him and hung up, with no intention of going. It was too late for me. The bus doors opened and my heart seized. My head felt dizzy. Maybe you're giving up too easily. But I was broke, and I was hurt and angry, and I didn't know what else to do. There was a quarter laying on the ground. I bent over and picked it up, deciding at that instant to leave it to fate. After all, fate had steered me to Brett's house, and despite all that had happened there, I was glad for the time we'd shared
"Heads I stay, tails I go." I took a deep breath and flipped the coin high into the air. Heads. Relief flooded me. I turned and headed back to Hollywood. One last audition couldn't hurt anything. If I bombed it, I could still take a later bus.
It was one of the largest casting calls I'd ever been to. The room was filled with trampy looking blondes and plastic boobs. I saw Melissa in a corner. She saw me and waved, then stuck her tongue out like a fourth grader and leaned towards the person next to her. Soon they were pointing and cackling at me.
I had no idea how I'd landed this audition. I didn't fit in with any of the girls here. They were all skinny and dressed like they were going to a club. Skin tight dresses clung to their manmade curves, making me ill. It was like they'd called me in just for a joke. I sat in a chair and pulled my phone out. I'd been hoping Brett would at least shoot me a text he woke up this morning and read my note, but nothing. Even a simple "good-bye" would have been nice.
He'd slept the whole day yesterday, or at least up until the time I'd left. I'd stayed for a while, waiting for him to get up, thinking we could talk, and had finally decided it was pointless. Maybe the extra sleep was some weird side effect of turning into a dragon. I'd let him sleep while I slipped out and spent the night on a park bench at Griffith Park. It was the same bench I'd slept on the night that Colin had tried to drive me out of the apartment by screwing another girl with a megaphone attached to the bed.
I paced the room like I usually did before an audition. The script they'd given me to go over was short and humorous. I thought the part would actually be better suited to someone like me, rather than the stick figures that permeated the room. It was a dark romantic comedy, about a woman in love with a man she couldn't have. He wasn't a dragon, he was just rich. And she was poor. It was close enough to hit home for me.
I turned and saw Leah, the floozy that Colin had brought home that time, sitting with her legs crossed and her lips pumped full of collagen. I tried to turn before she saw me but it was too late. She waved and started walking towards me. Just then, they called my name.
"Sorry," I told her, "that's me."
I ran into the room and almost knocked over a casting assistant who was trying to bring his boss a coffee. The room was dark. The glow of the lights allowed me to see some of the front row of chairs filled with people. I couldn't even see the back of the room. It was a little unusual. Generally, these rooms were brightly lit a
nd sometimes cameras were even set up to capture your audition.
The casting director glanced down at his paper without any introduction. "Start whenever you're ready," he said. "Renee will read with you." He indicated an eighteen or nineteen year old girl on his right.
My heart hammered in my chest. How was I supposed to pretend that that girl was the man I was in love with? This was a pivotal scene. I wished I was at least reading with a cute guy, not someone who reminded me of all the things I hated about this city. I sighed. It wouldn't be the first time I bombed an audition, but if I didn't nail it, it would be the last.
"Um," I said, kicking myself for the lack of confidence in my voice. I understood this part perfectly. There was nothing to be afraid of. I reread the lines, trying to feel the emotion. "Okay, I guess. Ready."
I read the first line. It came out sounding flat and stilted. The girl reading with me didn't help. She had no personality (or maybe she was just bored) and read everything in a monotone. I tried my best to deliver the lines the way I knew they should be, but nothing helped. By the time I was done, I'd already decided to leave and go back to the bus stop. No good could come for me in Los Angeles.
"Alright, Ms. McGrath. Thank you," the casting director said. I moved toward the exit but froze when a strong voice reached out of the shadows from the back of the room.
"Let's try it again," the voice said. "I'll read with you this time. If you don't mind, that is, Ms. McGrath." Brett stepped from the shadows, his face luminous. He looked almost like a whole new person. The haggard lines were gone from his face. The pain that had been permanently etched there since I'd met him was gone. He actually looked happy. My throat dried up.
"Hi," I said, then noticed the casting director watching me a little too closely. "I mean, um, sure. Whatever you say." Brett stepped to the front of the room with me and took the script from the girl I'd just read with.
"Whenever you're ready," Brett said. I started again. This time, the words came alive. I didn't have to fake the emotions; they were there waiting for me. I moved in the body of the character, feeling everything she felt and more. By the time we had finished, the casting director was on his feet, moving towards me.
Bears of Burden: THORN Page 105
