Still Wifey Material

by Kiki Swinson

  “Oh . . . um, hey, Kira.” He stumbled over his greeting.

  “Hey to you too, Bintu.”

  “Um . . . where is Fatu?”

  “He’s asleep, since he didn’t have to put me to bed. So he won’t be able to join you at your party in the VIP room.”

  Bintu was silent for a moment. He knew he’d been busted. “All right. Well when he wakes up in the morning, let him know that I was trying to get in touch with him.”

  “All right.”

  Right after I hung up with Bintu, I pressed the Menu key on Fatu’s phone and scrolled through his call history. To my surprise, his entire incoming and missed call lists were filled with the number 713-555-7979, which was Nikki’s fucking number.

  Why the hell is her number in his phone so many times? I mean, what part of the game is this? What the hell is really going on? I wondered.

  Shit, was I going to have to call her ass up so I could get to the bottom of this thing? Or should I step to this clown and ask him? I mean, two stories were better than one because I knew they were both going to come up with some bogus ass shit. I decided to call Nikki’s ass first.

  While I was dialing and waiting for her phone to ring my heart started beating uncontrollably, but it stopped the second Nikki said hello.

  “Nikki, what’s going on between you and Fatu?” I didn’t hesitate to ask.

  Nikki hesitated and then she said, “Who the fuck is this?”

  “Cut it out, drama queen! You know who it is!” I spat back.

  “Why the fuck are you calling me?”

  “No . . . no . . . no . . . sweetie, I’m the one asking questions. So explain to me why the hell you are calling my fiancé so damn much.”

  “Because I be doing little odd jobs at the club for him, that’s why.”

  “Come on now, Nikki, when did you start working at the club?”

  Irritated by my question, she said, “About a few weeks now, right after I left the shop.”

  “Well, what do you do for him?”

  “Look, I ain’t got time for all this shit! Ask him!” she roared and then she ended the call.

  I was still feeling uneasy about the whole thing, because now I was wondering why Fatu never told me that Nikki was working at the club. I mean, it wasn’t a big deal, but I would have expected him to mention it at least once in an indirect way. Then again, maybe he figured that I wouldn’t want to know. Whatever his reason, it would all come out sooner or later. I knew Nikki would tell him that I called her, but I could care less.

  After I set Fatu’s iPhone back down, I quietly slid into bed next to him. I really wanted to go home, but it was too late, so I would spend the night next to a man I was starting to believe was a complete stranger.

  On the Chopping Block

  (Kira Speaks)

  When I got up the next morning, Fatu was still asleep. I left him in bed and got dressed to go home. Before I walked out, I left him a note on the refrigerator, telling him I had to run off because I had an appointment to see my dressmaker. The lie sounded good, so I knew he’d believe it. Upon my arrival at home, Nikki was busy in the kitchen cooking some French toast, which was shocking to see because she didn’t do too much cooking. As I walked farther into the kitchen, I noticed that she wasn’t just cooking for herself. Suddenly her attitude last night made sense.

  The stranger saw me first. “Hey, what’s up?” he greeted.

  “Good morning,” I replied to the strange man, trying to be polite. In all actuality, I was pissed. We had rules in this house, and one of them was that men weren’t allowed to come to the house until after we’d known them for at least three months. I’d never seen this cat before in my life, so I knew Nikki’s silly ass had just met him. Not only that, this nigga was sitting around my house in his fucking boxers, like he lived there, so I knew she fucked him last night.

  Why would she let a nigga she’d just met come and fuck her where she laid her head? How stupid and desperate could she be? What, he couldn’t take her to his place, or to a hotel? See, that’s what’s wrong with females today. We’re always making shit easy for these niggas. Let their asses get out here and go the extra mile for us, not the other way around. I sighed deeply. There was no use in me getting all upset, because she wasn’t ever going to learn.

  Nikki placed two slices of French toast on the guy’s plate and then she looked up and saw me. “Whatcha doing home so early?” she asked as she fidgeted slightly with embarrassment.

  “I’ve got some errands to run, but I wanted to come home and change into something more comfortable.” I bit down on my bottom lip to keep from saying anything I would regret, especially in front of a stranger.

  “What time are you leaving?” she asked as if she was trying to rush me out of there.

  “I’m not sure. Maybe in another hour or so.” I looked at the stranger again. “So, who is your new friend?”

  “This is Nate. He’s Carmen’s husband’s homeboy.”

  “Oh, yeah, I remember seeing you at the wedding. You were the best man.”

  Nate smiled, revealing his white set of teeth. He wasn’t all that handsome, but he had nice, smooth skin, a freshly cut Caesar with long side burns, and his body was nice, so I guess he was doable. I was sure that Nikki’s hot ass felt the same way.

  “So how long y’all been talking?” I pressed.

  “Since the wedding.” Nikki’s reply had a hint of a brag to it as she took a seat next to Nate.

  “Oh, so y’all been seeing each other for about a month now, huh?”

  Nikki smiled. “Yep.”

  I turned my attention back to Nate. “So, Nate, tell me, what do you do for a living?”

  “I’m into buying and selling real estate.”

  “Oh really? That’s nice. But tell me, how are you buying and selling houses when the housing market is still so bad?” I knew his ass was lying. The real estate market was really fucked up, and hardly anyone was buying houses, especially since a lot of banks weren’t lending money like they used to.

  “Why are you being so nosey? Let the man eat in peace!” Nikki interjected.

  “Do you think I’m being nosey?” I asked Nate, but Nikki wasn’t backing down. She did not want me questioning this nigga for nothing in the world.

  “You a’ight,” Nate forced himself to say.

  I sensed that he was feeling a little awkward, so I left his dumb ass alone and got a bottle of apple juice from the refrigerator. Just as I was about to pour myself a glass, my phone rang. I checked the CallerID. It was Fatu. I contemplated not answering, but since I knew I wasn’t going to be in the mood to explain later why I didn’t answer, I went ahead and answered.

  “Hello,” I said, almost whispering.

  “Kira, why did you leave without waking me!” Fatu screamed into the phone.

  “Fatu, I had to come home. I left you a note,” I explained.

  “What time are you going to be done?”

  “I’m not sure. Why?”

  “Because I wanted to take you to a spa today.”

  “Well, I’m just gonna have to call you when I’m done with my plans.”

  “OK. I’ll probably be at the club, taking care of a few things.”

  “All right,” I said and hung up.

  I noticed Nikki gritting on me, so I put away my Blackberry. “What is that look for?” I asked.

  “Girl, please! Stop being paranoid! Ain’t nobody paying your ass no mind!” she snapped.

  As badly as I wanted to blast this whore for trying to show off in front of her new boyfriend, I remained calm, poured myself a glass of juice, and said, “Yeah. All right.” I walked out of the kitchen and into my bedroom. While I sat on my bed and thought about all the drama I was going through with Fatu, I overheard Nikki talking about me to that nigga Nate.

  “You see she carried her ass, right?” she asked.

  Nate laughed. “Yeah, I saw it.”

  “And you know why she did it, right?”

&nb
sp; “Nah.”

  “That’s because she don’t fuck with me.”

  “Who’s the oldest?”

  “She is. And I used to let her run all over top of me and tell me what to do, but I shut that shit down. I told her that I was sick of it, and I wasn’t taking her mess anymore.”

  “How long y’all been living together?”

  “Since we left Virginia.”

  “So whose spot is this? Hers or yours?”

  “Well, it’s the both of ours. We went to the closing together.”

  I rushed back into the kitchen, filled with rage. “Yeah, we sure did. But Nicole Simpson wasn’t on none of those documents I had to sign to get the keys to this place, so why don’t you stop your bullshit lies!” I roared.

  Nikki was shocked to see me storm back into the kitchen the way I did. Her eyes looked like they were about to pop out of her head, but since she was in the company of Nate, she wasn’t going to allow me to keep embarrassing her. She came back quick on me and said, “So the fuck what, I ain’t on the deed! I live here and I help you pay these bills, so don’t be running up on me like you run shit!”

  “You know what, Nikki? I am so sick of your mouth!” I snapped.

  Nikki stood from her chair. “Do something about it!” she dared me.

  “Bitch, on some real shit, you ain’t worth it, so I’m going to let you slide this time. But don’t you ever disrespect me in my own house again. You understand?”

  “Who the fuck you think you’re talking to? You ain’t got no kids up in here!”

  “Well, if you don’t like what I’m saying, carry your ass!”

  “You ain’t said shit, Kira! I ain’t got to be here.”

  “What’s the holdup, then?”

  “I can get out,” Nikki protested.

  “I don’t see you moving,” I told her.

  “You know what, Kira? You’re a funny-ass bitch! I see what you’re doing.”

  “And what is that?”

  Nikki took a couple steps toward me. “You’re so jealous of me, it’s a shame.”

  I burst into laughter. “You’ve got to be kidding me. Me, jealous of you?”

  “Don’t stand here and try to front. You know damn well you can’t stand to see me doing better than you. I know you’re putting me out because you want to see me fall on my face. But let me tell you something, sweetie, it ain’t gonna happen, because I’ve got as much money as you do. So I’m going to be fine.”

  “That’s beautiful. So when are you leaving?”

  “I can get my shit out of here today,” Nikki responded sarcastically.

  “Make it happen then,” I encouraged her.

  “Come on, Nate! Help me get my shit out of here,” Nikki ordered. She and Nate walked out of the kitchen.

  I stood there and watched her walk into her bedroom with her company and slam the door shut. I shook my head in disgust because that bitch had a nerve to slam a door in my fucking house. I mean, who the hell did she think she was? And how dare she tell me that she had just as much money as I did? Was she on crack or something? Nikki just didn’t know I had a landmine of dough piled up in my bank account, so she needed to sit her stupid ass down before I showed her something she wouldn’t be able to handle.

  And as far as Nikki’s fuck partner back there, I sure hoped that Nate was letting her silly ass move in with him, because her ass was getting out of here once and for all. I wasn’t going change my mind, either. I was so tired of that bitch’s attitude, it had gotten unbearable. What got me was the fact that she walked around like somebody owed her something. That really got under my damn skin. I had a trick for her ass, though, and she definitely had it coming to her.

  While I was in my bedroom changing clothes, I heard Nikki making a lot of noise in her room. It sounded like she was banging shit around in there on purpose, so that I could say something to her. I refused to feed into her shenanigans. I decided to stay my ass in the house to see if she tried to pull a stunt and fuck up some of my shit. My mother always told me that when you put a nigga out of your crib, never leave the house while they were packing, because if you did, nine times out of ten they would vandalize your house or steal some of your shit. I was going to chill right here so I could see what the hell was going on.

  Nikki finally got all her shit out of my house, except for her bedroom set. She told me she’d have somebody come by with a truck to get it tomorrow, and I agreed to that. As far as her other things, it only took her about four trips between my house and her new destination to get those things out of here. I didn’t know where she took her stuff, but I didn’t care because it felt really good to have her ass out of my house. The way things ended, it would not surprise me if she went out and opened up her own spot like she had been planning to do all along. I honestly thought that would be the best thing she could do, because I’d had it with her drama.

  But if she had it in her mind that she was going to open up a salon that would bring in more business than mine, then she had another thought coming. Her competitive ass would never build up the clientele that I had because she could not do hair. She was merely a wash girl around my salon, and she kept the books for me since she took a couple of business classes in college and was good with numbers. Aside from that, she couldn’t do shit. If she thought that she was going to be successful like me, I had something special for her silly ass. Nikki would see that she was nothing like me. My clients loved me because I provided a good service, which was something she lacked, and I kept it real with them. All I could do was wish her dumb ass the best.

  Rolling Solo

  (Nikki Speaks)

  Kira thought she did something by putting me out, but she just didn’t know that she did me a favor. I was going to show that bitch that I didn’t need her. For starters, I was going to fuck up her life just like she did mine. See, I was all right before I started hanging with Kira. I was attending Norfolk State University back in my hometown, and I had 3.7 GPA too. Life was pretty simple and I wasn’t into any drama.

  Then I get hooked up with Kira, and my life started falling apart. First I started working for her late husband Ricky, transporting his damn drugs. I admit that the money was good, but then I started fucking around with this guy named Brian, who used to work for Ricky, and that fell apart right after the narcotics agents arrested me on drug charges. From there my life got turned upside down and my parents became furious with me.

  My mom and dad told me from the beginning that it wouldn’t be wise for me to affiliate myself with Kira. They knew all about the dangerous but glamorous lifestyle she was living. That didn’t matter to me, though, because she was family and I looked up to her. I admired everything about her. She had everything I wanted and more, so I wanted nothing else but to be in her company. I’d always been told that if you were around a person long enough, you became just like them, which was exactly what had happened to me.

  Now I was a permanent fixture in her world. But instead of trying to be more and more like Kira, I was always trying to find ways to be better than her. It seemed like she and I were always in competition with one another, and it had become nerve-wracking. That was about to end, though, because I was about to get my life back on the right track. By me moving out of her place and embarking on a life of my own, everything was going to fall into place for me. I was happy as hell about it too.

  Right now, though, I decided to chill at Nate’s place. He told me I could bunk at his house with him until I could find an apartment. As far as my bedroom set, I planned to pick that up from Kira’s house tomorrow and put it in storage.

  After Nate and I finally settled down in his plush, two-bedroom townhouse, we sat around in his living room and talked for a bit. “This is really a nice place,” I said to him.

  He smiled at me. “Thanks.”

  “You know, I really appreciate you letting me stay here until I find a place.”

  “That’s no problem.”

  “So, how long you been living here?�
� I took another look around the living room area. I admired the flat-screen TV mounted on the wall, the window treatments, not to mention the cream-colored leather sofa. Homeboy really had it hooked up in there. It wasn’t fixed up in a girly type of way, but it was really nice and you could definitely tell that it belonged to a bachelor.

  “Five months.”

  “So what’s up with the other bedroom?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Why is it empty?”

  “Because I haven’t decided if I’m going to make it a guest room. I mean, it ain’t like I get a lot of company, but the few cats who do come by here to holler at me crash down here in the living room if they’re too fucked up to drive home, so I might just leave it the way it is.”

  “Why don’t you get a roommate?”

  Nate shook his head. “Oh, nah, I ain’t into that. Shit, I like living by myself.”

  “I know what you mean. It is chaotic when two people live together. So take my advice and don’t rent out that room. Because if you do, you won’t ever have peace of mind.”

  “Trust me, shorty, you ain’t ever got to worry about that,” he assured me and then changed the subject.

  Before long he had told me more shit than he had on our first date. I can’t tell you why he was holding back on me, but I am glad he finally came clean with me. He even gave me a brief history on the type of women he used to deal with. What really shocked me was when he told me that he’d just gotten out of a five-year relationship with a chick he was about to marry. Of course, I wanted to know what happened that led to the breakup. He told me that he found out she had been pregnant and had gotten an abortion behind his back. The way he said that really showed me how hurt he was behind it.

  I rubbed his knee and said, “I’m sorry to hear that.”

  “Oh, it’s all right. I’m cool.”

  “So, where is your ex now?”

  “I don’t know. But she’s probably up to her same ol’ tricks with the next nigga.”

  “Have you seen her since y’all broke up?”

  “Nope. And I’m glad too.”