I would sit in the evenings after my shower and just read a book. I never left my cabin unless I absolutely had to for essentials, because I didn’t need anything other than what I had right there. I was comfortable, healing physically, if not completely mentally. I didn’t have a TV because I didn’t want one. It had been years since I’d so much as watched the news, why would I need a TV? However, I did purchase a small stereo so that I could listen to music. I would swim in the small lake on hot days, eat my meals on the porch, and then sit and watch the sunset before I went to bed.
It took me many months before I began to feel that no one was coming for me. So many things had gone through my head a million times. I wondered just when Bulldog realized I was gone or if he’d been searching for me, or had he given up. I wondered how he would kill me when he finally caught up with me.
I would toss and turn at night. Nightmares plagued me pretty much every night, and I couldn’t shake them. I’d wake up in sweats and scared for a while thinking he’d found me. The dreams did ease after a while, and I started to settle down. I’d been gone for over a year, and if Bulldog hadn’t found me by then, then I began to doubt he ever would. It’s not like I didn’t disguise myself if I had to go to the store to collect things, which wasn’t often because I would stock right up on things. There was only me and I never really ran out of anything.
However, the months rolled by, and one day, I was strolling around the woods surrounding my cabin that no one had still come to claim. I walked past the lake and a little beyond. I hadn’t really gone so far out before because I was always too scared, and I was terrified when I saw a body at the bottom of the embankment that separated the lake from the actual wooded area.
I don’t know what it was that made me rush towards him. My doctoring instinct, I suppose. He might not have been wearing a cut, but I knew he was a biker the second my eyes landed on him. However, something inside, I don’t know what, call it intuition, told me that this man was no threat to me. He’d been shot multiple times, he was covered in blood, and gray faced. My heart sank, had I found a dead body?
I pressed my fingers to his bloodied throat. He had a slight pulse, and mine picked up. He would surely die, but I had to try and save him. I may have hated bikers, but I wouldn’t allow a man to die, no matter who he might have been, not if I could save him.
I didn’t have long because he could have passed away at any second. I fashioned a sled out of some fallen wood and planks I found. I tied them together as best I could with the hunting rope I rushed back toward my cabin to get. I had no clue if it would hold the man’s weight, he wasn’t huge, but he was well-built, and a dead weight. I didn’t want to cause him more damage, but I didn’t have a choice if I wanted to save him.
With great difficulty and a hell of a lot of pulling and pushing, I managed to get him on the sled. God, but if it didn’t take me an age to drag the damn thing back to my cabin. He almost fell off a couple of times due to the bumpiness of the ride.
When we got to my cabin, my arms were dead weights, but I kept going. I fashioned a ramp against the steps of my porch and pulled my stranger up it. God, he was so heavy! I dragged him off the sled by his hands and dragged him inside, slamming the door behind me. I didn’t have the energy even to try and get him on the couch, and I just dropped him by the fireplace.
That’s where I got to work on his wounds. I removed the bullets one by one, cleaning, cleansing, wrapping. Luckily, I still had some medical supplies left from what I’d bought when I got here to fix my own wounds.
I knew I needed to insert an IV so I could administer liquid painkiller and saline. If my stranger woke up, and it was a big if, he’d be in severe pain, and I wasn’t too sure he wouldn’t go into shock on me. That’s why I drove to the nearest hospital, twenty miles away, I snuck in there and stole everything I needed to help the man. Okay, it wasn’t my finest hour, I’d never ventured so far since moving to the cabin, but I didn’t feel like I had a choice, I couldn’t let him die.
I kept my stranger washed and pumped full of medication. I’d even stolen fluids and nutrients to keep him hydrated and fed for a week. How the hell I even got out of that place with everything is a miracle. However, I stole someone else’s white coat while there and hoped no one would realize I didn’t work there. It worked.
I just prayed and prayed that I could save the young man I was fast becoming attached to. It’s crazy when I look back at that time now. Wrench is my friend, and I had the hots for him there for a while. I haven’t told anyone that because I’d be so embarrassed!
It took a while, but he woke up. Wrench was confused, in pain, calling for Elie. I soothed him, explained how I’d found him and in what condition. I told him how I’d gotten him back to my cabin, how I’d taken care of him and made sure he survived, that I was a little scared he’d fallen into a coma and would never wake up, but that I had faith, he’d be okay when I saw his finger twitch. I was only sorry that I’d had to make him a bed on my floor. However, I’d made sure Wrench didn’t get sores from where he lay because I bathed and turned him all the time.
I taught Wrench what exercises he needed to do to keep his strength up, to bring his body back to what it was, and it wasn’t long before he asked me to go to his club and tell them that he was alive.
I did that, and that’s where I met Roman, the Godlike man who made my heart beat wildly. When the Snakes Henchmen members all followed me back to my cabin, I’d be a liar if I said I was terrified that we someone might follow us. It wasn’t like I didn’t know Bulldog had beef with the Snakes Henchmen. No, I had never met any member of Wrench’s club until that day, but I’d heard Bulldog mention, Shepard, once or twice. He hated the Snakes president and wanted nothing more than to kill him in the worst way.
While Wrench’s brothers were all talking about what to do, Roman had taken my arm and gently dragged me to the side of my cabin. I was both nervous and scared. I didn’t know this man at that point, and he could have done anything to me.
However, I told myself that everything would be all right, and this man wouldn’t hurt me. I had to trust that was true.
‘I just wanna say thank you. For what you did for Wrench, I mean.’
I kept my eyes on Roman; he was so handsome that I felt like I was in a trace. I had never seen a man so attractive in my life. Those green eyes of his melted me. I wasn’t supposed to be attracted to a biker. There was no way it was even sane. However, I was very much attracted to him, and there was nothing I could do to tamper it down.
‘Wrench isn’t just my brother in the club, Marley; he’s biologically my cousin, our mothers are sisters. He’s a lot younger than I am, but I can’t even explain what it did to me thinkin’ he was gone from this world.’
I have no idea why I touched his arm, but I couldn’t help myself. This giant of a man, because he’s a giant compared to me, seemed so compassionate, so kind, and that touched my soul. ‘I only did what any decent person would have done. You don’t need to thank me.’
Roman smiled at me, and it made my heart beat loudly in my ears. ‘You live here alone?’ I nodded my head. ‘Ain’t you got no family? Seems strange that a beautiful woman would live out here all by herself.’
He called me beautiful. I had no idea that would be the first of many times he’d call me that. I told him how I didn’t have a family, that I lived alone and had for years because I liked it that way. Roman told me he’d be back, and he was a couple of days later. I was surprised to see him, but there he was on my doorstep. We ate dinner together and talked like we’d always known each other. We talked about nothing important at all, and I loved it.
Then Roman came back again and again, and again. The last time he came back, Wrench was with him, and I was so happy to see him. Wrench persuaded me to meet with Elie. She wanted to see me so she could thank me for saving her husbands life. I was hesitant, but Roman talked me into it. He told me that he’d meet me at the cabin in the evening and we could watch the suns
et together.
I never made it back to that cabin, and I often wonder what it would be like to go back and check the place out. Sure, I went back once after leaving Roman. I cleaned the fridge out and made sure the generator was turned off, but I left so much there. I never took my things with me. I even wonder if the rightful owners have been back there and realized someone had been staying there.
Maybe I’ll go there soon.
Maybe I’ll take Roman with me.
Maybe...
“You’ve done well today, Marley.” I smile slightly at my therapist. I didn’t mean to spill so much in one session, but once I opened my mouth, it all came tumbling out, and I couldn’t stop it.
It was Roman’s idea that I speak with a professional about what I’d been through in the past. He thought it would help to talk to someone about the nightmare’s, and whatever else was going on inside of me.
This is the second time I’ve seen Belinda Graham this week. I don’t know what it is about her, but she’s easy to talk to, and speaking with her is helping me more than I thought it would. Here, in her office, I know I can say what’s on my mind and she won’t judge me for any of it, nor will she tell anyone what we’ve spoken about.
“I know you’ve been through a lot in your young life, Marley, but I want you to remember that you are so very strong. Not many could have gone through what you did and come out the other side.”
“There were a few times where I didn’t think I would.”
“And that is a perfectly normal reaction. You say Roman is your savior, but do you know what I think?”
I stare at Belinda and shake my head slightly.
“You are your own savior, Marley.” She reaches over and takes my hand in hers. Belinda is such a kind woman with a kind smile. She’s possibly a decade or so older than I am, and she kind of looks like a librarian with the way she dresses and her glasses perched on the edge of her nose. However, I can sense her kind soul, and it puts me at ease in her presence. “I would never take away from you the fact Roman brought you to life at a time you felt you had nothing left to live for. However, it was your own spirit that kept you alive during those times most would have given up and succumb to death not far from the beginning.”
I blink at her and smile. I needed to hear that. Roman always tells me that I saved myself, that I did it because I’m stronger than I believe myself to be. However, hearing this woman telling me pretty much the same thing makes me believe in myself even more. “Thank you.”
Belinda smiles and taps my hand. “Now, today’s session has come to an end. I’d like to see you next week. If you need me for anything at all before our next session, don’t hesitate to call me.”
“I won’t. Thank you.”
I guess there is something to this therapy stuff after all.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Roman
I have never felt this sick in my entire life. I’m a bag of nerves, and I don’t do nerves. I look like a fucking pansy in this damn dark suit Ace put me in. I mean, is a suit really necessary? Why the hell couldn’t I wear my damn jeans and cut?
This tie is choking me. I yank on it. “Don’t do that; you’ll ruin the look.”
“I look like a dick,” I complain like a child. This is so not me. I never gel my hair back. Why do I have to change the way I look?
Ace rolls his eyes at me. “You don’t look like a dick. You look like a man who’s about to get married.”
“This might have been your thing,” He wore a suit to his wedding. “But it’s not mine. Marley likes me the way I am.”
“She might be having the biker wedding, but you owe it to her to at least try and give her some normality.”
“What the fuck, Ace?” Stupid prick! Our way of life ain’t normal in most peoples eyes, but it’s our §normal.
I don’t know, maybe he’s right, but I’m so damn uncomfortable right now that I’m getting agitated.
“I’m just sayin’, brother.”
“Oh!” I look at mother as she walks through the door looking a million dollars in her cream dress, hair in a French twist, makeup fit for a queen, Taylor hot on her heels. My aunt looks just as beautiful as my mother, but she’s wearing blue. “Look at how handsome you look right now!”
“Mom!” She’s pinching my damn cheek like I’m five years old again. I’m thirty-eight for fuck’s sake!
“I’m sorry, baby boy.” God! She kisses my cheek this time, eyes brimming with happy tears. She never thought she’d be here seeing this day. Never thought her only son would get married. I never thought it myself so she’s not on her own.
“You do look handsome, Roman.”
“Thanks, Taylor.”
“But this is all wrong.” She motions up and down the length of me. I smile. Trust Taylor to point it out. My aunt knows me inside and out.
“Taylor!” My mother admonishes. “He looks perfect.”
“He does. He always does, but he’s uncomfortable, Leona. This isn’t Roman. As much as you want to see him get married in a suit and tie, hair all slicked back, that’s not Roman. He doesn’t belong in a suit. He belongs in jeans and his cut, his long hair silky smooth and falling around his neck like always.”
I fold my arms around my chest, dropping them instantly when I realize the damn jacket is too tight around my biceps — fucking thing.
“But he’s doing this for Marley, to make her happy.”
My aunt smiles at my mother. Taylor loves my mother so much, she really looks up to her, and Taylor is not trying to hurt her here, just have her understand where she’s coming from.
“Sweetheart, Marley won’t care what Roman wears. All that beautiful girl cares about it marrying one of the most wonderful men on this earth.” Taylor thinks too much of me. “Roman is a biker, Leona, and he looks so uncomfortable right now. How is he truly going to enjoy his wedding day if he’s constantly tugging at that tie?”
My mother looks at me for a moment before smiling and nodding her head. “Thank fuck for that,” I mumble while yanking the blue tie off my neck and throwing it at Ace.
He laughs and catches it. “Fine, you big girl, have it your way.”
“I always do.”
I make my way to my old bedroom and hop into the shower. I need to wash all of this shit out of my hair. I never put product in my hair, as a rule, I like it natural! I scrub the shit out of my hair and wash away the suds.
Once I’m showered, I make my way to the bedroom. My clothes are laid out on the bed. Ace must have collected them for me. Good. I pull on my clothes as quickly as I can. I then yank on my cut and smile. This is better. Much better.
I blow dry my air, then run a comb through it, and look at myself in the mirror. I’m a good-looking bastard if I do say so myself. That’s not me being cocky, but I’ve heard it a million times from everyone who meets me. No exaggeration.
Marley thinks she’s lucky to have me, what she doesn’t yet understand is that I’m the lucky one. She’s beautiful beyond words, inside and out, and she’s all mine.
I splash on some aftershave, and then I make my way out back where everyone is waiting for me. Everyone is here, every member of the club and their old ladies. Well, the ones who have them. All the kids of the club are in attendance, most running around and playing, all having a good time.
I’m so nervous all of a sudden. Shit, what if Marley isn’t happy about this?
I haven’t given her much time to prepare. She has no clue this is our wedding day, and my stomach is churning that Marley might blow up at me for lying to her. Not all women like having the biggest day of their lives planned out for them. Sure, she picked a beautiful off-white dress, on the knee, long-sleeved, and cut around the neck, but she only bought that because she wanted to look good for the hog roast.
Jesus, have I fucked up here?
What if my mom and Ace were right? What if Marley would have liked to see me in a suit?
What if I’ve let her down?
“Y
ou’re overthinking, son.”
I look at my dad and take my thumb from my mouth. I hadn’t realized I was biting the shit out of it. “I’m nervous. Don’t make sense when I don’t get nervous usually.”
“It’s not every day a man gets married, son. Once in his lifetime if he’s lucky enough to find the right girl.”
“She is the right girl. I never want to do this again.”
My dad laughs and nods his head. “I thought the same thing on my wedding day. I knew your mother was the only one for me from the moment I met her, and I knew she always would be, yet I was still nervous. Your mother is my soulmate, and I knew I’d never love anyone else as long as I live. You feel the same way about Marley?”
I nod my head. “No doubt in my mind, Dad.”
“Then you’ll be just fine, my boy. Don’t be nervous. This is the best day of your life, the start of your life with that wonderful woman. And she is wonderful, Roman. We all think so.”
“Thanks, Dad, that means a lot. What if I’ve done the wrong this here, Dad? What if Marley ain’t happy that she had no say in her wedding?”
My dad smiles and clasps my shoulder. “I don’t think you have anything to worry about, Roman. Marley loves you, and as soon as she sees what you’ve done here, she’ll fall deeper in love with you.”
I want to roll my eyes at him, but I’m hoping he’s right.
“Roman, look at Romany,” I smile at my sister as she stands in front of my dad and me with Romany in her arms. Leah is incredibly careful with Romany, and she knows to hand her over to someone else if she becomes heavy. Leah may be thirty-one, her mind might be much younger, but I know how smart she really is. I also know that I’ll never let anything happen to her as long as I live. My sister means as much to me as my daughters do. “Doesn’t she look adorable?”
Crucify Thy Demons: Snakes Henchmen MC Page 18
