I sobbed in my husband’s arms, letting out every ounce of pain from my past. Roman took my face in his hands and forced me to look at him. It hurt to see that he was crying too. That’s when he confirmed that Marcus was dead. He told me that my father was also dead and that he’d never be able to hurt me again. Roman did, in fact, find him and drag him off to wherever he took Marcus. Roman wanted my father to pay for selling me to Bulldog the way he did. That’s when Roman told me how my father boasted about burying me alive.
My man didn’t go into detail about what he did to both men, but I know he told me they were dead, to try and bring me some peace. Funnily, it did in a way.
However, I still can’t sleep; the nightmares always come. Only now they’ve morphed into me losing my mother and how I will never see her again. I don’t know where she’s buried, so I can’t even visit her grave. Now my father is gone, and I can’t go to him and ask for the information I’d need. I’ll never be able to say goodbye to my mother, and it hurts so much.
When I woke last night, it was because I felt like I was suffocating. I felt like I’d die if I didn’t get air into my lungs. I’d had a panic attack in my sleep, and it took Roman an age to calm me down. I feel so guilty that I’m keeping him awake each night. He needs rest as much as I do or neither of us will be any good to Romany.
Roman thinks the PTSD I was diagnosed with has gotten worse and did so after what Marcus did. Roman wants me to speak to my therapist. She’s been a big help to me since I started seeing her. I’ll do it because I don’t want to live like this, always panicking. It’s no life for any of us. If I am to be truly free, I need help.
I noticed right away that Roman and Romany weren’t in the room with me. I also knew Roman would only have taken Romany with him so that I could catch up on some sleep. I’m grateful for that. Roman has been so caring through all of this. Call me what you will for forgiving him so easily. However, too much has happened in my life for my heart and mind to linger on one mistake. Trust me; he has more than made up for it.
I took a hot shower, changed into clean clothes, and vowed to get the help I need to put the past behind me finally. I know now that I deserve a happy life with my family, with my husband and our children.
After combing my hair and tying it in a braid, I’m finally ready to go in search of my husband and little girl. I’m feeling better, and I’m even smiling. However, I stop dead in my tracks outside the main room. A voice I recognize came through to me so clearly, I thought I was losing my mind for a moment there. I really need to see a shrink. My mother is dead! Bulldog told me that my mother had died, that he got word from my father about her death. In fact, Bulldog took great pleasure in hurting me with that information.
I tried to be strong and not breakdown as Bulldog told me how three days after my father sold me to him, that my mom, my best friend killed herself by hanging. I can’t even explain the agony inside of me that day. Bulldog told me in graphic detail how my mom was found, and what she would have looked like in that moment. Then he said, ‘So you see, little one, there is no one left on this earth to give a damn about you.’ He kissed the top of my head and left. I died inside that day.
Hearing my mother’s voice out of nowhere has brought back all of those beautiful memories we made together. Also, the memory of me feeling the pain of her death.
I shake off the feeling and walk into the main room. My heart instantly slams hard in my chest. I see my mother standing near the bar with my husband and some of the others. She’s wearing jeans and a leather jacket, and her blonde hair is tied in a high ponytail. She looks more like my big sister than my mother. I don’t know how she can be here. My mommy is alive. I know she is because I see her so clearly. She’s talking to my husband about her new husband — Tom’s brother. I hear my mom telling Roman that Uncle Henry is not my uncle after all, and Tom was never my father. Henry is, and Henry is right outside with his MC. If Mom is not out of here in the next five minutes with the information they’re looking for, Henry will come looking for her, and all hell could break loose.
I can’t get my head around what I’m seeing. My brain bypasses what my mom said about Henry being my father, and I focus on the fact she’s right in front of me. I’m not imagining this. I can see her as clear as day.
Mom is saying something, but I won’t wait for her to finish. I have missed her so much, and now she’s here looking for me. I’m not an orphan, and I didn’t lose my mom. Bulldog lied to me. I should have known he was just trying to hurt me. He succeeded. Boy, did he succeed.
“Mommy?”
Her head whips around in my direction, eyes wide, and mouth agape in shock. “Marlea!” She screams my name so loudly; I jump where I stand. No one has called me Marlea but my mother since I was a little girl. I always preferred Marley, but I was her Marlea, her precious little girl. So she told me every day.
I run to my mother and let her wrap her arms around me. I need to know I’m not dreaming, and that she’s really here with me. Thinking she’d died, that she’d killed herself destroyed me.
I love Roman, but getting married without my mother by my side tainted my wedding day some. Only because we’d always talked about her being a big part of my wedding day since I was a little girl. I have been grieving my best friend for years because I thought she’d taken her life because of me. Which, of course, meant the guilt of such has eaten away at me ever since.
I feel my mother kiss my head, and she tells me, “I knew you weren’t dead. I knew it in my heart. I knew I’d find you.” She pulls me at arm’s length and takes my face in her hands. My mom has aged a little since I last saw her, yet she’s still youthful looking for her forty-five years. My mother is still so beautiful. “I never stopped searching for you, Marlea.”
“I thought you were dead, that you killed yourself.”
“Oh, my baby girl,” She hugs me to her.
I pull away and smile. “Have you met my daughter?”
“You have a child?”
“Yes,” I nod with the first genuine smile on my face in days. “A husband, a little girl, and a baby on the way.”
My mom smiles while touching my tiny baby bump, tears in her eyes. “I’m a grandma.” That makes us both laugh. “Can I meet...?”
“Romany,” I tell her with so much pride in my voice. “Romany Lacey.”
My mom has tears in her eyes. I named my baby after her; Roman afforded me that honor. “Romany. Yes, can I meet her?”
I nod my head excitedly and hug my mom hard. I am so happy right now. My beautiful mother is alive and right in front of me. Everything is going to be okay.
I notice Roman watching us, and he looks anything but happy with the situation. I don’t care if he’s happy or not right now, I am not going to let him ruin this for me. This is my mother we’re talking about! The woman I have grieved six years for, my heart never mending after thinking she was gone from this world, and right now, I’m taking her to see my daughter.
I lead my mom by the hand to where Romany is sleeping in her basket bed by the open fire. She’s a little big for it now, but Roman picked it up from our house. That way if Romany fell asleep while we were in the main room here, we could lay her down without having to leave her alone in our room.
“Oh, Marlea, she’s beautiful. Even asleep, it’s evident she’s her daddy’s double. She has his coloring, and I bet she has his smile.” She’s not wrong, Romany is the image of Roman. Apart from her eye color that has changed over the months, and are now as blue as mine.
“Would you like to hold her?”
My mom cups my cheek, and I smile. “So very much. However, I don’t wish to wake her.” She strokes her thumb under my eye, the way she did when I was a little girl. As crazy as it may sound, having my mother here in front of me, I feel safe again. Safe the way she made me feel growing up, the way only a mother could. “The moment she does wake, grandma will give her the biggest cuddle. Sorry,” She pulls away from me and takes her cell phone fro
m her jacket pocket. “I have to take this.”
I nod my head to let her know it’s okay.
I stare down at Romany, and stroke her little cheek with the inside of my finger. I’m trying not to listen in on my mother’s conversation, but it’s hard not to hear what she’s saying. It’s not like she went very far from me.
“I found her... Oh, baby, she’s so beautiful.” Her words make me smile. “Not yet... Wait! Shit!” Everyone turns to look at my mom, but she’s looking at Jett. “I’m sorry, my husband is coming in. He won’t cause any trouble, but...” She’s cut off by the door bursting open so fast; it crashes against the wall. A man, I haven’t seen for years, a huge man that dwarfs my mother comes barrelling into the room. His eyes are darting all over the place until they land on me.
I flinch out of fear and whimper at the same time. Roman is by my side in less than a second, his arm around me, protecting me like he promised he always would.
I remember Henry well. He was always kind to Mom and me when he was around. Henry wasn’t always there because Mom once told me that he went to prison for a decade. After he got out, he rode with his own club, only coming around to check on things now and again.
I remember little things like how he’d always buy me ice cream, or how he’d cuddle me. He’d tell me how much he loved me, and he even told me that one day, I’d be home with him. I didn’t understand back then what he meant, but I do now. He wanted to be my father, to take me home with him, Mom too. It begs the question: Why didn’t he do something about it years ago?
Henry walks over to my mother and wraps his arm around her shoulder, his eyes on me the whole time. “I can’t believe what I’m seeing. My little Marlea.” I swallow back my emotions and blink away the tears. Just the sound of my name shows how much he loves me, how badly he wanted to be my father all those years ago. It also shows how much he’s grieved me over the past few years.
I don’t have time to wonder what my life would have been like had my mom just picked me up and left Tom. I don’t know what hold he had over her, but I’m glad she finally broke free of him.
“Sweetheart, you don’t need to be afraid of me. I would never hurt you. Not for anything in this world.” I can do nothing but stare at him. Grinder is a big man, tall, well-built, with short brown hair, and blue eyes much like mine. I wonder if he means what he says. I wonder if my newfound father would protect me with his life the way Roman would our little girl.
“It’s good to see you, Grinder.”
“Shepard.” Grinder acknowledges.
“I think there are a few things for us to discuss. Your wife can stay here with the women. Come to my office so we can talk.”
“Fine.” Grinder kisses my mom and gives me a lasting look before walking away. Roman kisses me and then follows the rest of his men to the office.
I feel like I’m in a parallel universe. Everything feels so surreal. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I think I’m past the point of fear now. What will be, will be. As Taylor always says.
“Marley, why don’t we sit down and I’ll tell you all about your little brother’s and sister?”
“Brother’s and sister?” She nods, and I smile.
Life is looking up.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Roman
You should have called me the very moment she came here, Shepard.”
“I didn’t know who she was. It’s not like I’d ever met the girl before she came here. Believe me; if I had even an inkling of who she was, I would have called you, Grinder.”
Grinder. Marley’s fucking uncle turned father. Of all the people. How small can the fucking world get? He’s done nothing but piss, and moan at Shepard since Jett closed the damn door. He seems to think our Prez deliberately kept Marley from him, the cocksucking cunt!
That cocksucking cunt is now your father-in-law, Roman.
Like it makes a fucking difference!
However, Shepard manages to calm him down, and he’s able to explain everything to Grinder. He sits and listens as Shepard explains all the shit Marley went through with Bulldog and his lot. Grinder’s eyes widen now and again at the awful things his daughter went through, yet he says nothing. Grinder knows Bulldog was Shepard’s half-brother, and how dangerous that man was. Especially when it came to young girls. I’m surprised he hasn’t lost his shit yet but grateful he isn’t blaming Shepard. It wouldn’t surprise me if he did.
“When Marley came here after saving one of my men, Roman here swore to protect her.”
“Why would you do that? You didn’t know her.” Grinder rounds on me. He’s a big bastard, around seven or eight years older than I am, which is fucking weird in itself. Regardless of who he is, he won’t intimidate me. There’s not a man alive who can. “What was in it for you?”
“Her heart.” Eyebrows raised, he shifts in his seat. “She’s my wife and the mother of my kids.”
He eyeballs me. He’s got no fucking rights here, and he damn well knows it. Marley belongs to me, and I am not giving her up for anything. I won’t have Grinder walking into Marley’s life, thinking he can push me out of it. She hardly knows him. Never once has Marley mentioned him. She mentioned her mother a few times. Marley has sobbed in my arms, wishing she could see her mother again.
This asshole is not her father, where it matters. I don’t know his story, and I don’t care to. However, if Marley tells me she’d like to get to know him, then I won’t stand in her way.
Marley thought she was an orphan until an hour ago. All of this must be so surreal for her. I need to be out there with her, showing her that I support her. Marley needs me.
“Why didn’t you come to Shepard before now? Years ago, even? You knew he’d help if you asked for it.” Jett’s right.
“After I convinced Lacey to leave Tom and come back to me, Marlea...”
“Marley!” I grit through my teeth. She’s my Marley; I don’t give a damn what her birth certificate says. God, is our marriage even legal if Marley isn’t her real name?
She would have told me, surely?
“Marley,” Grinder corrects himself. “She was with the doctor, and Lacey was ready to be mine. Finally. However, my girl didn’t want our daughter with that man. She asked me to help her get Marley away from him. Something about him and the way he treated Marley didn’t sit well with my Sunflower. I made arrangements to bring Marley to my clubhouse with Lacey. Against her will, of course, but it would have been the only way to get her away from the doctor. She disappeared before that could happen.”
Grinder nods his head in thanks as Tank hands him a tumbler of scotch. He knocks it back in one.
“I don’t know most of you around this table, but I do know Shepard and BlackJack very well. I know you know what it feels like not to know where your daughter is, Shepard. I know BlackJack knows what it’s like to lose a child. I felt both of those things when we were told we’d never see Marlea again. I thought she was dead, and we’d never find her body. Lacey wouldn’t believe it. She wouldn’t give up until she had me believing her.
“My club and every club surrounding helped me in my search for my daughter when, in all honesty, I really believed she was dead. I could have come to you, Shepard, and asked for your help eventually, but I didn’t think my search would lead me back to Tennessee. The trail was cold here, and always had been.” He sighs to himself.
“Lacey gave birth to our twin sons six months after Marley went missing. It should have been a happy time for Lacey, but she struggled with depression for a short while. She couldn’t let go of Marley, and I had to promise never to give up searching before she’d get the help she needed. Two years later, she gave birth to our daughter. As you know.” He tips his head at Shepard and BlackJack, who nod their heads. I’m assuming some of the others knew too from the smiles on their faces. I didn’t have a clue, and I wouldn’t have cared if I did.
Marley has some very young siblings. That will shock her. I wonder if her mother is out there now
telling Marley all about them.
“Congratulations on the new additions.” Grinder smiles and thanks Tank.
“When Tom’s neighbor contacted Lacey, she had us ride over here. The thing about my club is, they have more respect for their First Lady than most. Much like yours,” He chuckles, and Shepard nods. Every member of this club loves and respects Lynette. She’s an amazing woman. “Lacey was so excited because this neighbor told her they’d seen Marley with your club, wearing, I guess your property jacket,”
I nod. Marley wears her jacket with pride.
“A few members of the club thought this was just another wild goose chase. However, Lacey managed to convince them that this was real, that we’d find our little girl this time. She was right.” He smiles to himself. “All Lacey wants is to bring our daughter home.”
“No!” Fucking stupid cunt! “You ain’t taking my wife anywhere!”
“Calm down,” BlackJack hisses while squeezing my shoulder. “Let the man speak.”
“Get off me, BlackJack!” I yank my shoulder from his grasp. “If anyone in this room thinks for one fuckin’ second I’ll let them take Marley from me; you’re all sadly mistaken! Did I not prove already what I’ll fuckin’ do to any man who comes near her?!” I slam my hands down on the oak table, palms flat, and it was so hard, I can feel pain ricocheting along my arms.
“What the fuck is he talking about?” Grinder looks to Shepard. The cunt should be addressing me!
“I’m talking about Marley’s fucked up ex, and your sick-minded brother!”
“Stand down, Roman!” Shepard yells at me. I grind my teeth and sit back in my chair.
“So, Tom is dead.” It wasn’t a question, and Grinder is smirking. “First off, I want you to know that now I know Marley is married with children, I’m not here to take her from you.” Good. It wouldn’t happen anyway. “Secondly, not only did you help destroy Bulldog and his sick fucks, you saved my daughter. You gave her your heart, married her, put your children in her belly, and loved her the way she deserves. You then took Marcus and Tom, and... Wait,” Grinder smirks wider, and looks at Shepard. “Roman?”
Crucify Thy Demons: Snakes Henchmen MC Page 27
