After the rider died, the pet had been transferred to him, and Dale found himself mounted on the ostrich.
He rode towards the last Hiisi and pinned it between Smith and himself.
Between the two of them, they quickly dispatched it.
The crowd cheered and booed. More mugs came flying out of the stands, and Dale was hit in the head with a half-filled container of smelly liquid.
The rhino was struck with a blue lightning bolt of power from Algrothist who yelled out a battle scream.
“No more animal charm, you sneaky bastard! New betting open, the odds are now even money! Prepare to be squashed!”
The rhino stopped running and then reared up like a war horse throwing Smith across the arena. It then charged towards Algrothist and rammed the wall. The coliseum shook.
“You stupid beast, attack them!” Algrothist shook his fist. “Even money bets, even money bets, place your bets fools!”
He laughed again and announced a three-minute break.
Dale helped Smith to his feet and asked him if he needed a healing charm.
“No, thanks, I’m good.”
“Here, a quick feast.”
Dale opened a battlefield feast.
+20%Buff
Private Smith ate as well and then used a crafting charm to bring all their equipment back to full strength.
“Suggestions?”
“Rhinos are close to being indestructible. I mean, against two guys with swords? We’re in trouble.”
Erin?
I can’t help. Good luck.
Crap.
“I have an idea…” Dale looked at Smith. “Follow me,” he said.
Dale ran to the edge of the demon pit. The demon below was an ugly beast with eight arms, like tentacles, huge fangs, and it had an appalling stink, as if its pit was both a sewer and a slaughterhouse. Smith stood next to Dale and almost wretched.
“What’s your plan?” he said, gagging on his words.
“Smarts over massive strength.”
“Okay.”
Dale dropped to a knee. “Get on my shoulders.”
Smith followed Dales instructions and Dale stood.
“Now, wave your arms around and let’s shout at that stupid beast.”
Dale moved about to keep balance while Smith waved his arms and shouted. The rhino shook its head and stamped its feet. It charged.
“Hold. Steady. Don’t jump.” Dale stayed right near the edge of the pit.
“When it is about to hit us, you jump left, and I’ll jump right,” Dale said.
The rhino was running full speed.
The entire arena floor shook.
The crowd cheered.
When the rhino got so close to them that Dale thought they’d be plunged into the demon pit with the beast, he shoved Smith to the left, and he leaped to the right. The rhino slammed its feet into the ground in an attempt to stop. It teetered at the edge, and the demon wrapped a tentacle around its main horn.
The rhino shook its head and snorted. It stamped its feet.
“Quick!” Dale shouted.
He’d taken out his sword and lifted it above his head in a two-handed grip. Smith followed his lead, he understood Dale’s plan.
They both plunged their swords into the ass of the rhino. It grunted and moaned as it slid over the bars of the demon’s pit.
The hideous smelly demon wrapped the entire rhino up with its tentacles and pulled the beast into the cage, rupturing flesh as the rhino’s weight worked against it. It sliced into pieces as it went between the bars, blood splashed, and the sound of snapping bones echoed off the walls of the colosseum.
Then the crowd went crazy, they cheered and booed, and threw things. The sound was deafening.
“Quiet!” Algrothist shouted. “Quiet! The two humant scum have proven worthy. Settle your bets and prepare for the next set of victims.”
The Sihir appeared. He transferred Dale’s winnings, 125,000 bars of gold, to him and then disappeared.
A golden beam of light appeared in the middle of the arena.
“Let’s go, that’s our ride,” Smith said.
...........................
The ceremony in the Great Hall of Feasting was Dale’s first taste of how big the ramp up to war had become. The Hall was enormous, as big as the Rhith Center, home of the Cincinnati Bengals, and Dale guessed that there were at least a hundred thousand people present.
“Attention, Attention! Quiet, please!” A great voice boomed throughout the arena, everyone quit talking, and a beam of light shined onto the podium where a colonel stood.
“It is my great pleasure to introduce General Dennison, Commander of the Western Forces, Earth United Defense Army. Please give a warm welcome to General Dennison,” the colonel said.
The hall erupted with applause.
“Thank you. Please, please, take a seat. Thank you.” The General cleared his throat and gave a prepared speech.
“War is never easy. War is never fun. War is sacrifice. War is hell, as they say, and it is. But war is necessary. In the evolution of every species there comes a time when territories are claimed, resources are defended, gods are invented, and war becomes inevitable. Today is no different.
“The conflict we are entering is huge. Massive, in fact. But I do not want you to think of it in those terms. It is not relevant whether a war is between two small city-states, two giant countries, or even two planetary systems. It doesn’t matter if a war is intergalactic or inter-universal, between tribes, troops, platoons, armies, or nations.
“What matters is that you are fighting for your own family and friends. Your small tribe. The people you love. The pretty girl or the handsome man or the reptilian hermaphrodite who is waiting for you in your uncertain future. You fight for your buddy who is suffering along side you.
“Fight. Kill. Destroy. Do your duty. Fight for your buddy. Fight for your future. I honor you, soldiers. I honor those of you who will die. I honor those of you who will become heroes. I only curse those that will betray. Our army has no room for cowardice.
“Fight. Tomorrow you may die, so tonight you celebrate!” He raised a mug into the air and the crowed cheered.
Dale had never heard such a deafening applause. His heart pounded, he felt a sense of pride and accomplishment, but then he realized he might be cheering his own death.
He realized he was okay with that and he promised himself that he’d never be a coward.
...........................
Late into the night Corporal Brown and Private Smith were given their acceptance into Unit 19.
“Congratulations, men,” Captain Redding said.
“Thank you.” Both Dale and Smith smiled at her.
Redding twirled in a circle, and a purple sparkling light fell around her.
Dale was mesmerized.
Everyone else disappeared. The entire world disappeared. Smith was gone. The platoon was gone. The company was gone. Only she existed or he was going crazy. He decided he didn’t care.
Redding approached him.
She had her long red hair braided with ribbon and it hung over her shoulder nearly touching the ground. She wore a short and tight mini-skirt. Her top was low cut, showing off her breasts which were covered in sparkling glitter.
Dale couldn’t stop starring at her body.
“Look into my eyes, Dale,” she said.
He did.
“Congratulations on becoming one of us.”
“Thank you.”
She approached him and put her arms around him.
Dale shuddered and then froze.
She placed her lips on his.
He didn’t know what to do, but she lead him, and the feeling of losing control came over him as she kissed him.
Dale lost track of time.
In this dream state, Dale thought of heaven and nirvana, he wished he could stay there forever.
When he was conscious of reality again, she whispered in his ear.
; “Would you die for me?”
“Yes,” he said. “Of course.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
Woe unto him that striveth with his Maker! Let the potsherd strive with the potsherds of the earth. Shall the clay say to him that fashioneth it, What makest thou?
~ The Prophet Isaiah
Holy, holy, holy, holy, holy, holy, holy, holy, holy, holy, holy, holy, holy, holy, holy, holy are thou!
~ Anonymous Spirit Being
...........................
The multiverse is, of course, all of reality.
Yet reality is not all that there is.
In the Courts of Yagway, which exist outside of reality, thus outside the multiverse, a continual procession of beings proceeds into the courthouse, each to face judgment.
Yagway sits, with great pride, at the bench.
Jellu, Himself Mighty and Great, stands at the Mighty Right Hand of Yagway, generally reading trashy homo-erotica novels, but occasionally joining the court proceedings.
It was Yawa who spoke the loudest in court.
“I claim this dirty, worthless scum for my kingdom,” Yawa said.
“What is your charge?” The voice of Yagway boomed throughout the room. Beings of pure light chanted in the background, repeating endlessly how wonderful and perfect Yagway was in all ways. He never tired of hearing his praises, even after infinity had passed and loomed into the future.
“This worthless trash kidnapped fourteen sentient beings over his lifetime, he committed unspeakable acts, and then took their lives for his own sadistic pleasure.”
“Hmmmmm. That is kind of bad,” Yagway said. He looked towards Jellu. “Have you anything to say?”
“Oh. Excuse me.” He stood, set his book down, and adjusted his robes. “Let’s see,” he said. “Oh, yes. This being worshiped me for a minute the day before he was executed for his crimes. He belongs in Paradise with me. Eternal happiness and bliss is my reward for him.”
“Okay,” Yagway said. “Seems reasonable.”
“Next,” yelled the court bailiff.
“I claim this dirty, worthless scum for my kingdom,” Yawa said.
“What is your charge?”
“This worthless trash got herself kidnapped, raped, and then brutally murdered for the sadistic pleasure of another,” Yawa said.
“Do you have anything to say, Jellu?”
“No, sorry. Don’t recognize her.” Jellu went back to his book.
...........................
While on their lunch break, Yawa asked if there were any new reports about the Klaharnians and the Declanians.
“Jellu, summon the Holy Mist.”
“Oh, Holy Mist! Be present.”
The Holy Mist was in the room, not that anyone else would have noticed, but generally, when Jellu and Yagway were together, it was assumed that the third member of themselves was present, and if summoned, well, The Holy Mist knew who buttered his bread. Most call him a him, in spite of the fact that in no Canon did he, or it, claim a penis. Or a vagina, for that matter.
“What’s up?” the Holy Mist said, at least, that’s what Jellu claimed, nobody ever heard The Holy Mist speak; frankly it was because he didn’t have a mouth, but other rumors have been floated.
“We want to know what the Klaharnians and the Declanians are up to.”
“Easy. They’ve given the Nagant Monks administration over the Nagant War, and they are going to sit back and enjoy years, maybe decades, of death, destruction, pain, loss, and misery.”
“I knew I liked them for a reason,” Yagway said. “So, Yawa, your council?”
Yawa stood and stretched. He always showed off when given the floor. He scratched his horns.
Jellu rolled his eyes.
“I believe,” Yawa said, “that we can use this for our pleasure and entertainment.”
“How so?”
“Allow me to influence chaos, destruction, misery, hatred, division, greed, lust, and unfulfilled desire among the races. I’ll create a few special —”
“Medammit, Yawa,” Yagway interrupted. “You know I am the only creator.”
“Sorry. Allow me to suggest you create, Mighty One, the means to create chaos, destruction, hatred, division, greed, lust, and unfulfilled desire among the races. We, I mean, You, can throw a fourth faction into their stupid, petty, poorly designed Nagant War. Create, using the powers of your Mighty Threesome, a hoard of destructive beasts and creatures. Vampires, ogres, dragons, orcs, bloodthirsty races, goblins, demons, wraiths, liches, death wasps, hungry flesh eating grizzly bears, giant sh—”
“Hold on. I get it. Lots of deliciously miserable destruction. I’ll claim that its part of the mystery of life and the more a creature suffers, the more that will allow them to feel my love. I like it.”
“It’s more fun than watching a hundred thousand little children slowly starve while covered with flies and—”
“Hey, I enjoy that on a lazy Sunday, when my worshippers are, you know, worshiping me.”
“Alright. I’m not saying to get rid of the thousands of children slowly suffering painful deaths; I’m just saying I like Yawa’s plan,” Jellu said. “If I’d had another minute, I could have thought of it myself. Hey, can I make a blood sucking leech that is twenty-four feet long and lives in fresh water ponds, lies in wait, and when it catches its prey, it keeps it alive in its lair, feeding it daily to refresh the poor creature’s blood supply, thus prolonging its actual death for years, decades, maybe?”
“What’s your obsession with blood? Seriously…” Yawa muttered.
“Enough!” Yagway stood. “You guys work out the details. Now, excuse me, I have a planet I need to cover with enough water to drown all the creatures that live there.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
Meet-cute: Scenario in which two individuals are brought together in some unlikely, zany, destined-to-fall-in-love-and-be-together-forever sort of way (the more unusual, the better).
~ Caffrin (Urban Dictionary handle)
Of the many ways to meet people of the opposite sex, serendipity seems the least treacherous.
~ Private Smith
...........................
Dale sat with Private Smith and Sergeant Dyfrig.
Dyfrig was eating live grubs.
“You guys want to try one?” he said.
“Gross, no thanks,” Dale said.
“I’ll pass.” Smith slid down the bench.
Dyfrig held up a grub and waved it in front of Smith’s face. “You sure?”
Smith ignored him.
Dale took a bite out of his tuna sandwich. “I’ll stick to things that are already dead.”
“Like bacteria.”
“No, it’s…” Dale took another bite. “It’s fresh, no, I mean, it’s cooked, but it’s not like I’m a vulture, I mean…”
“Never mind,” Smith said. “Let’s talk about classes again. I think Dale needs to concentrate on his class and his personal guild.”
“I’m going to go Nojus for sure. I mean, that’s my whole life, well, before the war. I’m an animal skeleton designer. I love animals. For sure I’m going Nojus, I just don’t know about race.”
“You should be a lizard.” Dyfrig put a grub on the table and then in an instant, he snapped it up in his jaws and swallowed it after two bites.
“I don’t know. I do like your avatar, but there are so many to choose from.”
“You should be a Nagintia. You could get an ostrich mount,” Smith said.
“Funny. No, too goblin for me. No goblin, dwarf, or undead type shit. I like the cats, bats, and even the vampiric race.”
“The Mugron,” Dyfrig said. “Ugly race, but deadly. What about the Sidheagin?”
“What’s that?” Dale wished he’d studied better.
“It’s close to what you’d call a werewolf. When they level up, they can devour enemies like crazy. Nasty and ugly beasts, however, nobody likes them.”
They turned at the sound of a ma
ssive growl.
A large wolf-life creature appeared in the midst of smoke and fire. He, or she, carried a long ebony staff, capped in feathers. It wore a belt made of small silver skulls, on which hung a broadsword. Its fur was nearly black, like a gorilla, and when its mouth opened, large fangs were exposed. On its head, it wore a crown of bones, and a necklace with a moon medallion hung from its neck. It growled.
“Nobody likes us!?” It moved a step closer. “The Ningishzida are responsible for this war. The Ningishzida are untrustworthy. The Ningishzida are a filthy, belly crawling, undeveloped race. Look at you, eating bugs like an insect.”
“Sorry, friend. I meant no disrespect,” Dyfrig said.
“No disrespect!” The Sidheagin moved a step closer. “If I could challenge you to the pit…”
The beast returned to its humant avatar. Dale realized the wolf was a female, or at least the humant avatar was female. And she was hot. He looked back to Dyfrig, then at the woman, then back at the reptile.
“What do people mean when they say the lizards started the war?”
“The Nagant War was started when our race developed space travel, we could go anywhere in the universe. We started studying Earth a few of your years ago. You’re a fascinating species, intelligent, but so violent. When we exited the universe, we discovered that not only did the multiverse exist, proving the most common theories true, we discovered that it was inhabited. Well, at least one other universe is inhabited. The Klaharnians and Declanians argued about what to do about this development, and the Nagant War was created to decide the fate of us all. Sidheagins included.”
“So people blame you.” Dale didn’t speak a question, but rather, an observation gained.
“That’s about the sum of it.” Dyfrig ate another grub.
“What other races are there?” Dale asked.
“Sigtrygg, the humanoid race that is kind of like a dwarf of your legends. They are short and stocky and like to live in the mountains, especially caverns. They make excellent tanks, as you might guess, and can be quite…” Dyfrig lowered his voice. “They can be quite nasty, and they usually smell bad.”
“Well, okay, that’s another race I can eliminate,” Dale said.
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