by Ella James
“Why?”
Her brows pinch together, and she gives me a skeptical look. It quickly turns to disappointment. “You don’t remember…?”
I frown. “No. Should I?”
She shrugs, looking out the window for a moment before returning her blue eyes to mine. “You said one time that good stuff should be attributed to fate, and bad stuff more like accidents. I can’t stand to know you think of Mother’s house as fate. That’s not your fate.” Her eyes glimmer, and I can feel my stomach curl into a knot.
“How do you know,” I ask her, hoarse, “that I view it as bad stuff?”
Her brows raise. “Don’t you?”
“I think I just answered that,” I tell her.
“What do you mean?”
I sit there, very still, my heart pounding, my lungs straining, and tell myself to shut the fuck up. I swallow down the words I want to say and even get out of the car. I know what I should do—that I should stop and turn around. Tell her that, yes, lately, when I think about it, I’ve began to consider Mother’s house part of my fate. If there is such a thing. I should say it was my destiny to go through hell at the hands of a mad woman because it gave me Kin. And I should end things there.
I can lie to her. She would be better off. I can almost fucking bet she would be better off without me in her life. So I should do that. I should do whatever I need to, to send her on her way.
Instead, I find myself walking briskly through the lobby, with Leah on my heels. I’m on the fifth floor, but I don’t stop for the elevator. I can’t. I have to move, to keep moving. If I stop—
Just move, Lucas.
I hear her panting as she tries to catch me on the second flight of stairs.
And then she does.
She grabs my elbow, and I freeze in place.
“Luke, what are you doing?” she says, stepping around me, so she can look into my face. “What’s the matter?” Her blue eyes are wide and sorry. “Is it something that I said?” Her shoulders heave, because she’s breathing hard. From chasing me.
I look into those wide, apologetic eyes for what feels like forever. Leah’s eyes. I know them well. I know confusion in them; pain; joy; love.
This is Leah. She is here with me right now. And she’s not mine. I fucking know she’s not. She doesn’t need to be.
But this is the last time. It must be the last time. And so, I let myself do something foolish.
I grab her head with my scarred, broken hands and lift her mouth to mine so I can kiss her crazy. I kiss her like I’m trying to push my soul into her soul via our mouths. I kiss her like I’m dying and she’s life. I kiss her like she’s exaltation.
“No,” I say between our violent kisses. “It’s not…something…you said. It’s who…you…fucking…are.”
She gasps, or maybe it’s a loud pant.
“Luke.”
“Leah.”
We slide down to the cement landing between the flights of stairs. I yank her shoes off, then her pants, and finally her sexy little panties. I prop one hand under her hips so the cement’s not too cold against her flaming skin, and lower my head between her legs. She gasps before I even touch her. That little noise gets me so fucking hard, I start to lap her cunt like it’s a drug.
“It’s fate,” I breathe against her swollen flesh, “because it brought me you.” I push my finger in and lick her up and down. “You are my fate.”
“Oh God!” She grinds against my face. She tugs my head down, smashing my tongue against her clit. I use the tip of it to make her scream, “Oh God, Luke!”
“That’s right, Leah.”
With my fingers and my mouth, I drive my Leah slowly mad.
I hold her while she shudders and mews, then I pick her up and carry her up three more flights of stairs. Her eyes are closed, and she doesn’t seem to remember she’s not clothed, so I stop at the mouth of the stairwell to take my shirt off and wrap it around her.
My room is not far from the stairwell, but it’s far enough for me to have a second in my head. For me to realize what I’ve done, and to decide that I don’t give a fuck. Not unless she does, and when I look down at her, I find her smiling up at me.
“Happy?” I ask.
Her smile widens like the Cheshire fucking Cat.
One swipe of my card, and we’re in my well-appointed suite. Leah wraps her arms around my neck and nips at my bicep with her teeth.
My cock throbs in my pants. My balls are drawn up underneath. My head’s buzzing. I kiss her mouth and lie her on the bed, then turn around and walk over to a table with a coffee maker and a room service menu. My intention is to give her a second to cool down. Just be sure she’s thought about this.
I know I don’t give a shit if I’m doing something that will haunt me later, but I want to be sure she doesn’t.
I’m palming my cock, gritting my teeth, and enjoying the taste of Leah’s pussy on my tongue when she throws her arms around me from behind.
“What are you doing, silly man?” With her arms around my hips, she urges me to the king-sized bed and pushes against my chest, so I’m laid out on my back, shirtless, wearing just my pants and shoes. My cock strains and throbs against my fly.
“Oh no,” she coos, bending down over it. “This looks like a problem. Would you like some help?”
She rubs me with her palm and traces the hard outline with her fingers. “Leah…”
“If only there was something I could do about this. Maybe if I were to take your pants off…”
She bends down and seals her mouth around my head. She breathes her warm breath through the fabric of my slacks, and I feel my pulse pound in my balls.
“Fuck.” I grab her shoulders.
“Mmmmm.” She cups me through my pants and melds her lips around me, teasing through the fabric with her lips and teeth.
I rock my hips against her face and clench my fists.
“Let’s get rid of these pants now.”
She unfastens my slacks and frees my rock-hard cock. It bounces in the air like a rocket blasting off, and then she’s on my lap. My legs are hanging off the bottom of the bed, my hips right at the edge, and Leah’s straddling my thighs. Clinging to my hip while she tries to get her balance on the edge of the bed. She does, and then she’s jacking me off. Sucking me into her mouth and taking me deep into the velvet of her throat.
“Leah.” I twine a hand through her hair and focus on not forcing myself down her throat.
She sucks harder as she takes me inch by inch.
“Leah…”
My toes clench.
Her fingers tickle over my sac. I feel the head of me bump something soft and warm: the back of her throat. Her tongue twirls around my base.
I cup my hand around her head, trying to thank her with a caress—but it’s short lived. What she’s doing feels so fucking good, my fingers ball into a fist as her mouth strokes over me.
She’s deep-throating me. I crack my eyes open and find her face relaxed, focused on my pleasure. She finds a rhythm, moving faster and faster, taking more of me than any woman has before. It feels fucking incredible. Knowing that it’s her mouth I’m inside of…
“Oh, fuck! LEAH... Ohh… I’m so damn close!”
She twirls her tongue around me, sucks her cheeks in, rolls my balls around in her warm palm.
“Oh fuck. Leah.”
God.
I start to thrust against her face. It’s fucking rude, but I’m out of my mind, so fucking close…
“Fuck. Fuck. Oh fuck.”
My back is arching off the bed. I’m so close I can taste it. My fingers, twined in her hair now, tug as I bump the back of her throat. Her tongue, her cheeks, her hand…
“Oh, Leah…”
“Sorry.” I hear the word before I realize she’s pulling my cock out of her mouth. My eyes fly open. My heart pounds. What went wrong?
I don’t have much time to figure out, because half a second later, she throws herself onto my lap, lifts my cock w
ith her warm hand, and sinks down on it.
The sensation is mind-blowing.
I groan and swear and start to thrust under her, lifting my hips up, pounding her sweet pussy like a fucking animal.
“God, that fucking magic pussy…” My hands squeeze her hips and start to guide her rhythm: fast, fast, fast; oh God— “Leah…please.”
I push myself as deep as I can go, and I explode. Shudders ricochet through me. I’m tossed up into the fucking stratosphere. Somewhere far away, I can feel her body—soft and nubile—stretch out over mine. A blissful haze comes over us like fog, and when it starts to clear a little, I can feel I’m still inside her.
Jesus.
“Leah.” I fucking love saying her name. And touching her. It’s heaven. My hand strokes over her silky hair. Fingers find her soft lips. “This mouth,” I murmur. “And that cunt.” My hand caresses her flank, just below the pert curve of her ass.
She digs her hips into mine, and I feel my cock start hardening inside her. It’s…pure bliss. Fucking amazing, getting hard inside the warm, slick softness of her cunt.
I take her from the back, and from the top, and then I fuck her from the side, so I can wrap my arms around her. I lick her pussy like a starving man, and Leah sucks me off again. She knows my tells this time and draws it out so long I nearly pass the fuck out before I blow inside her throat. She opens wider for me and swallows every drop like a fucking fantasy. Then she climbs atop me, nestling my dick between the crevice of her thigh.
I’m breathing hard, and so is she.
The line of light around the curtains is long gone.
I feel the press of her breasts against my chest, and then her arms are wrapping around me. Her cheek rests against my pec. I wrap one leg over hers and cup her warm, smooth back, stroking up and down her spine and playing in her hair.
“Thank you,” I whisper.
She lifts her head and grins a sleepy grin. She looks cocky; thrilled. “So what about that?” she asks.
“You’re a fucking queen, baby.”
Her grin widens. “Thank you. You’re my king.” She leans up to kiss my chin, and warmth floods through me.
“Your cunt is magic.” I stroke the smooth skin of her throat. “And so are you.”
“You came five times.” Her blue eyes dance.
“I could go for number six.” I grin. My mouth feels weird and stretched, but I can’t help myself.
“You came,” she says.
I fondle her breast, hardening as I watch it bounce. “Damn right I did.”
She winds her arms around my neck and leans down close, so her soft lips brush my cheek. She traces a line behind my ear and gently cups my jaw. Her touch is so soft, her eyes so kind, my breath catches in my throat. “Luke…you came without me hurting you.”
My heart beats off-rhythm. My mind reels. Fuck—it’s true. I really did.
I really did.
My chest tightens as the weight of it sinks in.
“It wasn’t just a one-time thing. It’s been all night.” She eases up off me a little, as if she can sense I’m on the verge of losing my shit, and she wants to give me space.
“I know,” I rasp.
I prop myself up on my elbows. She scoots off me, sitting on her knees beside me. Her watchful eyes are making my throat ache, so I get up off the bed and walk over to the window.
I don’t even push the curtains back, just stand there, flexing my hands, feeling the lingering ache of broken bones and stitched-up skin.
How did this happen?
Why did I bring her to the room with me?
Pain blooms through my chest. So much of it, I start to shake.
“Luke?” Her careful fingers touch my back. “What’s wrong?”
The answer pierces me: she’ll leave. Tomorrow morning, Leah will leave. I’ll never get to feel her hands on me again.
I thought I could handle it. I thought maybe… I don’t know. What did I think? Terror grips me. I can’t move. Can’t breathe.
She wraps her arms around me, and I fumble to get free of them. I turn toward her, shaking my head. “Don’t.”
Her eyes are wide and stricken. “Why not?” She takes a step away from me. “Luke—please.”
“Just go,” I choke. “Go on, Leah.” I grab her shoulders and push her lightly toward the door.
She whirls around and grabs my arm. “Don’t do this with me! Don’t. Don’t do it right now. It’s bullshit, and anyway, I won’t believe it. You’re just scared.”
My chest feels like it’s cracked open. I put a hand over it. “Scared of what?” I rasp.
“I don’t know what. I wish I did. Why don’t you ever talk to me?” She folds her arms in front of her chest. “I think I deserve at least some explanation.”
My face feels hot. The room whirls slowly around her.
“C’mon, Luke.” She sounds exasperated. “If you can send me away after tonight, then you can tell me why, can’t you?”
I swallow. Flex my hands. “I can’t,” I say through my clenched jaw. My words sound twisted. Strange.
She steps closer. “Why not?” she says softly.
“You’ll leave,” I whisper.
“No I won’t. I won’t leave if you just talk to me.” She takes the last few steps between us. She hesitates a second with her hands raised. Then she reaches out and touches my chest. “Luke…just talk to me. Whatever’s going on, I can handle it.”
Her eyes flicker, showing her uncertainty, but she tucks that away quickly and strokes my bare chest.
My eyes sting. “You’ll leave.”
She shakes her head. “I’m not leaving.”
My hand closes around her arm. I swallow hard and try again. “Tomorrow,” I hiss, “you will leave.”
“Oh. I understand.” Her voice is soft. Her eyes are kind. Her hands clasp mine. She pulls me over to the bed and pulls the blankets back. Together, we get in.
I can’t lie down, so I just sit there. Leah wraps herself around me, and I dip my head, because my eyes are leaking.
I can feel her sorrow. Guilt, I guess. For all I know, it’s pity.
“Fuck.”
Her hands tickle my back and shoulders. “Lucas—can I tell you something? Something true? Something that I think you might not like?”
“Whatever you want,” I whisper.
I feel her head rest in the space between my neck and shoulder. Her lips move against my skin, creating chills. “I want you.”
My chest cranks tighter. I struggle to draw a breath.
“I want you,” she says. She grabs my chin and turns my face toward hers. “Luke, I want you. I have always wanted you.”
My throat stings. I don’t want to look at her, but I can’t stop my eyes. They search her face. “But...why?”
She strokes my arms, down to my hands. She twines her hands in mine and looks into my eyes. “Because I love you, Luke.”
“You can’t.” She strokes my hands with soft fingers and looks into my face. Waiting me out. “It wouldn’t work because I’m not normal, Leah. I’m not…whole.” I squeeze her hands with mine. “Even my hands… They’re…”
“Yours. They’re your hands, Luke. That’s why I love them.” Her mouth finds my throat, kissing the salty tears there. “All you have to have is half,” she whispers.
“What?”
“You’re only half,” she murmurs, looking up into my eyes. “If you put two of us together, baby, all we need is half to make a whole.”
Her hand trails down my chest, reaching lower, till I’m hard again. My heart aches as she takes me in her hand.
“Let’s just see…” she whispers, stroking up and down me. “Let’s see how we fit together. If the pieces fit right,” she says, kissing my jaw, “maybe you could take me home.”
“Home?”
“Take me home.” She finds my mouth with hers. Our tongues glide together. Her lips tremble. “Take me home,” she breathes into my mouth. “I’d love to go back there
with you.”
I think about it, as she climbs on top of me. What can I offer her, my sweet Leah?
I can offer half. Maybe I shouldn’t try. But it’s Leah. I can’t ever help myself.
I take her four more times that night, and she’s right. I can come each time, just from the pleasure of her.
The next day, we climb into my car and head for home.
#
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