“I get it, but if you ever get tired of your own company, I definitely wouldn’t mind stepping in.”
She grinned. “I’ll remember that.”
They walked down the dim hallway to the exit doors. He opened one and waited until she passed through before following. The door slammed closed, and Houston checked the lock twice before continuing down the front steps of their school. Only their two cars remained in the parking lot, one on each side.
“I’m over there.” She pointed.
“Call me old fashioned, but I’d feel a lot better if I actually walked you to your car.”
Yes. He and Sean would get along fine.
They stopped at her car and Houston lifted the scrap of paper she gave him. “Thanks for this. I’m going to call him.”
“Good. He’s one of the best guys I know.” Again that sinking feeling stirred her gut. “But if he does turn you down. Just know it’s because of Bentwood, not the job.”
“Let me guess, he’s on the other side of the spending time with yourself comment.”
Journey nearly choked on the idea and then started laughing. “No. Ew. No. Sean is practically a brother.” She thought of how he teased her relentlessly most of their life. “In fact, we might just kill each other if he ends up working here.”
“That should be interesting to watch.”
She lowered herself into the seat, her heart fluttering at the thought of Sean actually coming home. This was right. April would see that, she would. “Make sure you tell him I gave you his number. He’ll want to know I’m good with him working here.”
“You got it.” Houston tapped the roof before leaving. “I’ll see you Monday.”
She watched him walk away and dropped her forehead to the steering wheel.
Yes, April was absolutely going to murder her.
Chapter 24
Tyler walked around the wooden forms the contractor had laid only yesterday. There was something about seeing the start of a foundation that made the process real. Suddenly the lot felt bigger, the expanse of cleared trees, wider. And a dream that had once only been a private wish was now a reality.
Yet he never suspected he would be standing in the center of it…alone.
Swallowing the lump that had stayed ever present since Journey’s accusation, Tyler tried for the fifth time to call Dustin.
Straight to voicemail, again.
Frustrated, he raked both hands through his hair. Too many emotions were colliding in his brain, and he didn’t want to feel any of them.
He trekked forward and listened in as the concrete guy and his general contractor, Daniel, discussed the upcoming pour. Something about the grade and the mix. They often spoke a language Tyler didn’t understand.
A deep groove formed between Daniel’s brow as he studied the construction plans again. He was a mammoth of a man with a completely shaved head. If he hadn’t had a reference list the size of congress, Tyler would have declined, feeling sure the guy would strong arm him. But thankfully, the two of them ended up having a great synergy.
“An issue?” Tyler asked when the two men seemed to come to an agreement.
“Nothing substantial,” the other guy said, looking down at the plans. “We just need to make some adjustments to the grade by the fireplace.”
Daniel’s mouth grew tighter. He was one of the best in the business, and minor or not, Tyler knew he was unhappy with his subcontractor. “Don’t worry. It’s not going to slow us down any.”
“Good.”
“I take it you’re going to stick around and watch us work.”
“You don’t mind, do you?”
“You’re the boss.”
The two men dispersed and Tyler walked down the sloped backyard, out to the empty space where the rotting dock used to be. A fresh layer of dirt marked where the new one would go. He stood on it while the wind off the lake whipped at his cheeks. Peace. It was the first time he’d felt it in days.
A buzz in his pocket sucked the moment away. That was until he realized it was Caroline. They hadn’t really spoken since the April’s Fool’s preparation and when he’d texted for an update, she simply wrote that it went fine, without any extra details. All his other texts had gone unanswered.
“Caroline, hey. I was beginning to think you’d gone into hiding,”
“I know. I’m sorry. I just needed a few solitary days.”
He could understand the appeal, though he felt the opposite. He’d spent too much time alone with boxes of antiques and a headful of questions as his only companion. He never imagined that the quest to find himself could be such a lonely endeavor.
“Sounds reasonable. What can I do for you?”
“Well, it’s about that art show this weekend. I really want to go, but going alone feels weird and kinda depressing.”
Tyler could scarcely think above the rush of grief. The art show was something he and Journey had always done together. Even last year when she wasn’t painting, something changed when she stepped inside those tents. Her eyes came alive, bright and hopeful. She could stare at the works of art for hours, tracing in her mind the way she’d paint the same picture if given the inclination.
“Ty, you still there?” Caroline’s voice cut through his haze. “If you don’t want to go, it’s okay. It’s always something I can do next year.”
She was gracious in her response, but Tyler could hear the disappointment in her voice. Twice, when he’d been upset and confused and just plain lost, Caroline had opened her door and invited him in. She’d been kind and welcoming and he’d always left feeling hope that one day the void in his life would start to close.
It was impossible to deny her the same courtesy no matter how hard going might be. “Sure. I’d love to go.”
“Really? Good! ’Cause I read all about it and they brought in two up and coming country bands who are really good. I looked them up on Youtube and even bought one of their albums.”
The reminder of Caroline’s obsession with Youtube brought a surge of affection. “In that case, we’d better not miss it. I’ll come by around noon on Saturday to pick you up.”
“Oh, um, can’t we just meet at the park?”
“Caroline, it would be like searching for a drop of water in an ocean. The entire place is covered with people. But if you’d feel more comfortable driving, you can pick me up at Beck’s house.”
“No,” she said firmly. “That would be worse.”
A strange protectiveness shot through him “Something happen?”
“Just a misunderstanding. Still, I don’t think Beckham would be thrilled to see me show up on his doorstep.”
Tyler clenched his jaw. Typical Beck behavior when it came to women. Catch, then avoid. If his friend couldn’t see that Caroline was worth more than another notch, he was an absolute fool.
“Okay then,” he said. “Your condo it is. I’ll see you at noon.”
“Thank you, Ty.”
“Anytime.”
He stared across the vast water, his mind filled with all the broken pieces of his life: Journey, Caroline, Dustin, the Kinders, his job, his future. They somehow all fit together; he just had no idea how.
Running into Beck Saturday morning was as surprising as seeing him in shorts and a t-shirt. Hand around the coffee carafe, Beck lifted his chin in a silent offer. Tyler grabbed a cup from the pantry and slid it to him. It was the first moment of companionable silence they’d had in weeks.
“Thanks,” he muttered when his cup was full. He added a packet of sweetener and a dash of Half and Half before taking the first sip.
Beck perched himself on the nearest bar stool. “You going to the art festival today?” It wasn’t really a question.
“Yeah, I’m going.”
“Good.” He drummed his fingers against the wood counter, slow and monotonous. “Dad called. He wanted to talk to you. Said you haven’t answered any of his emails.”
Tyler glanced at the brown liquid in his cup and didn’t deny it.
The confrontation with Harold Kinder was a dread that kept him up at night. He’d rehearsed the inevitable conversation in his head multiple times, and in every one, he felt nauseous and lightheaded.
“They get home soon,” Beck added. “And like it or not, you will have to communicate with both of us at some point. You’re still an employee of Kinder Enterprises.”
Anger kicked him hard in the chest. “I know that.”
“Good, because you and I are going to have to find a way to exist without tension coating every interaction. I can’t even stand to come home right now. There’s no way I’m going to deal with it both here and at the office.”
“Are you asking me to leave?” His studio wouldn’t be ready for another week, but he’d find other options if necessary.
“No!” Beck pressed his palms down on the island. “I’m asking you to forgive me. God knows, I’ve been a good enough friend to deserve it.” His eyes met Tyler’s and time catapulted back to the day when Beck opened the door to his family and never asked for one thing in return.
“I’m trying,” Tyler finally choked out. He didn’t know how to be both a Mitchell and Kinder. He didn’t know how to exist with two identities, or if he even could. “I’ll shoot something to your dad so he’ll stop hounding you.”
Disappointment washed over Beck’s face. “That’s not what this is about, but fine. At least it’s something.” He eased off the stool, his shoulders hunched in an unusual show of defeat. It was odd, not knowing what had his friend so discouraged. Probably the job. With Beck, it was always about the job.
“You going out to the park now?” Tyler asked, an attempt to show he cared.
“Nah. I plan to swing by the office first. April and I are going to attempt to go together, if we don’t kill each other before the car is even parked.”
In that case, Tyler doubted he’d see either one of them. Two workaholics did not equal reliability.
Beck began to leave but turned back. “You’re welcome to come with us.” He offered a sad smile. “Kind of like old times.” Except Sean wasn’t there and the five of them hadn’t been a thriving unit in years.
And there was also Caroline to consider. Beck obviously made her uncomfortable. “I’m good, but thanks.”
Beck nodded, not surprised that Tyler turned him down. Whatever closeness they’d once shared now seemed impossible to recreate.
Chapter 25
Ziker Metropolitan park had been transformed into a sea of white portable pavilions with grassy walkways weaving though and around the mass of vendors and displays.
The air was ripe with heat and humidity, almost unbearably so, but Caroline wasn’t going to let something as insignificant as weather get her down. Especially when the sweet aroma of fried food and roasted meat swirled in the air around them. She and Ty had already explored a row of vendors selling everything from homemade purses to barbeque sauce. They’d even bought themselves portable mist fans and took turns dousing each other. She’d wanted to peruse more, but Tyler had insisted they needed to get to the stage or else they’d miss all the good seating areas.
Now here, she wanted to squeal and hug him at the same time. The outdoor platform had six massive speakers, each booming with music. The first band, Scaredy Cats, was scheduled to start in forty-five minutes so to entertain the masses, a bubbly DJ, decked out in full vintage cowboy gear rocked the microphone, telling jokes and riling up the hundreds of people congregating on the grass. Some sat on blankets, others danced on the partitioned dance floor, which was really just a section of a now closed parking lot.
Ty grinned. “Cool huh?”
She could hardly speak, the music pulling at her memory, to days when she would laugh with friends, dance until exhaustion, and flirt with boys just because it was fun. “It’s beyond expectation.” She sucked in a deep breath and exhaled a huge smile. “Where should we sit?”
He surveyed the grass and pointed. “There’s a free spot over there by the dance floor. And it’s shaded, thank goodness.”
“Perfect.”
He led her through the crowd, past rows of lawn chairs and strollers. Music pumped from the speakers, pulsed in her chest, and crackled in the air.
Ty had stopped in the sole open area between five other families. Two of them had toddlers giggling and stumbling around. The other three seemed older, more silent, and more engaged in their phones than what was going on around them. He pulled the rolled blanket he’d been carrying from under his arm and snapped it open. The slight breeze immediately caught the material, twisting the blanket before Ty could get it situated. Caroline moved swiftly, catching the flailing side and together they eased the five by eight foot quilt to the ground.
He took a seat and leaned back on his elbows, his legs stretched out across the blanket. “So do you two-step?” His gaze floated from the dance floor to her.
“Heck yeah. I’m from Lubbock. Do you, city boy?”
“Better than most, actually.”
“You’ll have to prove that.” It had been years since she danced. It was how she’d met Jeremiah. The night she truly understood what being swept off her feet felt like.
The same night that started the worst two years of her life.
Cowboy DJ hollered through the microphone for more people to get up and dance, but only one more couple took him up on the offer. Caroline watched them laugh and shuffle to the dance floor, young and in love. For a moment, she felt envy. Her experience with love looked nothing like that.
A man in tight jeans and pearl-buttoned shirt spun his partner three times in a fury, the crowd cheering louder with each one. Herself included.
“They actually do this every year?” she asked.
“Yep. One time, they even brought a mechanical bull and held contests. Beck made it into the top ten.”
“He did?” Caroline nearly choked on the words. The idea seemed so out of character for him that she couldn’t picture it. Not in any scenario.
“Yep.” Ty leaned closer. “Sean said he’d never do it, so Beck did, never once considering that he’d done exactly what Sean wanted.”
The affectionate way he spoke, nostalgic and admiring, brought an all too familiar longing. She missed being a part of a group. Missed understanding people enough to know their intricacies.
“How come you didn’t go with your friends this year?” Despite Ty doing his best to be energetic and fun-loving today, Caroline had seen him slip into sadness more than once, usually after he’d shared some kind of memory. “From your stories, it sounds like this was a tradition for all of you.”
“It was.” He glanced her way and his gaze lingered. “But sometimes, you have to move on and make new memories.”
“Agreed.” And that was exactly why she’d asked him to come with her.
“Enough of the sad stuff.” Ty jumped up and offered his hand. “Ready to prove your two-stepping claim?”
They were moving before she had time to process the idea of being on display in front of so many people. She gripped his hand tighter, gaining strength from the firm hold he had on her. As they stepped onto the pavement, Ty lifted his arm and swung her in a circle. She awkwardly found her footing, but still stumbled toward him.
“We may have to work on that move,” he said with a good-natured grin. Pulling her close, he placed one hand on her waist, the other in hers, and they began to step. Only, the man was not two-stepping. In fact, she had no idea what he was doing.
A burst of laughter tore through her. “You’re such a liar.”
“What? Why?”
“Because this isn’t two-stepping. Not even a little.”
“It’s how I’ve always done it.”
“Well, you’ve been doing it wrong.” She halted them, making sure they were out of the way of passersby. “First, your hand goes here.” She moved up his hand from her waist to her shoulder blade. The motion felt oddly intimate and immediately she felt her cheeks heat. Ty must have sensed it too because his shoulders stiffened.
She cleared her throat. “Now, you always start with your left leg first, and it’s quick, quick, slow, slow. Quick, quick, slow, slow. Got it?”
“We’ll see.”
They waited for the beat, and Ty stepped forward again, his feet shuffling faster than she could follow, but it didn’t matter. His eyebrows were scrunched, his bottom lip slightly moving as he whispered the instruction over and over.
The DJ hollered from the stage. “Get closer! The girl’s tripping over herself!”
Tyler froze. “He’s talking to me, isn’t he?”
“I think so.”
Determination shown in his eyes. “That’s it. We’re doing it my way now.” His arm tightened around her, pulling her flush with his chest. His hand moved down to the small of her waist, while his breath became close enough to tickle her temple. Then he moved, this time with strength and confidence. She followed every step, eyes bright, body in total sync with his.
It was intoxicating, the energy and charisma of the moment.
Caroline found herself captivated, struck by a boldness she hadn’t allowed herself to feel in years. Sweat beaded on her forehead, still she embraced the pure joy of being free without looking over her shoulder or wondering if Jeremiah was watching or judging or angry.
She’d fled Lubbock to be free, but this was the first time it truly felt as if she had wings. She wanted other feelings to come, the ones she’d numbed herself to for so long now. Eyes lifted, she watched as Ty chewed his lip in concentration, eyes fixed ahead. He’d barreled into her life, shot past her shields and trepidations. He’d made her feel safe and comfortable, and more, he’d reminded her what friendship felt like.
The impulse to kiss him manifested quicker than her ability to stop it. She pressed her lips to his, fast and joyous, a thank you for the sheer beauty that she wasn’t afraid.
He pulled back instantaneously. His flushed cheeks and the new crease in his brow was a clear indication that she’d overstepped an invisible line between them.
Clearly at a loss for words, but too kind to embarrass her, Ty continued to swing them around the dance floor.
Until I Knew Myself Page 17
