Again, nothing was making sense. “What are you talking about? What new place? What kind of substitution?”
He looked away, and I continued to study his profile.
“The rent is paid up for a year, so you have time to get on your feet. If you want to move somewhere else before the lease is up, you’ll get the remainder of that money in a check from the landlord.”
His words were starting to add up, but I didn’t want them to. I preferred the ignorance. I’d rather have been lost in this relationship than be thrust from it.
“So, what? You’re just getting rid of me? Things get too hard and you just drop the problem on someone else’s doorstep?”
His jaw ticked as he continued to stare out the windshield. “I thought this was what you wanted. To be free. To not feel like a prisoner.”
“I meant I wanted to be able to run to the grocery store by myself, not that I wanted you to kick me out of your home!”
“I’m not kicking you out.”
“Then let’s go back. Right now. Let’s forget about this and just go back home.”
He shook his head, his mouth just a thin line. “I can’t do that.”
“Why the hell not?” My voice seemed to echo in the SUV. It filled the empty space with my anger. It felt like it would smother us.
He turned to look at me, his eyes colder than I’d ever seen them. “It’s just not worth it.”
It’s just not worth it.
I felt each letter carve a slice into my heart. Felt each syllable poke a hole through my lungs.
I couldn’t breathe.
I couldn’t see.
I couldn’t think as the memories engulfed me.
You’re as worthless as a weed.
Those words I’d heard hundreds of times. They’d been hissed at me, screamed at me, spat through gritted teeth at me. They’d been ingrained in my head for as long as I could remember.
These new words were different, but they were close enough. They were powerful enough to destroy me in a way I didn’t think anyone, or anything, could.
They were enough to make me withdraw from this fight. To concede defeat. To retreat. To run.
I took a deep breath, hoping he didn’t hear how it shook. “Okay,” I said as I grabbed the handle. “Thanks for the new place.”
He was quiet as I climbed out of his truck onto unsteady feet. I straightened my spine and lifted my chin, determined to walk away from him with my head held high.
But for all my bravado, my heart still tripped over itself when he called my name.
I turned to him, every single atom in my body frozen as I waited to hear what he had to say.
He leaned over the console and my chest constricted as he came closer. When he held something out to me, I automatically took it.
He returned to his seat and nodded at my hand. “You’re in 3B.”
I looked down to see a single brass key on my palm. I stared at it like it held an answer for me. Like it could explain how we got here. Like it could show me the way back.
“Keep yourself safe,” he said as he put the truck into drive. “And don’t go out at night.”
I didn’t answer him. I don’t think I could have gotten my mouth to form words, even if I could have thought of some to say to him.
With shaking hands, I closed the passenger door and walked away.
Chapter 7
Alexander
Ba-bum.
Ba-bum.
Ba-bum.
Her heartbeat was my constant companion.
My only companion.
Loneliness had never bothered me before. In fact, I used to prefer it. But that was before Charlotte.
Before she filled my home with her soft giggles.
Before her peach scent infiltrated the walls.
Before she’d shown me what it was like to have someone in my life.
But that was all over now, and this was all I had left.
Ba-bum.
Ba-bum.
Ba-bum.
I lay on the floor of the apartment beneath hers with my hands behind my head and my eyes closed. She’d been humming tunelessly to herself as she walked around upstairs. I wondered what she was doing. I wondered what song she was trying to sing. I wondered how long I’d have to care about all this.
All I wanted to do was go back to the way things were.
When I didn’t care so deeply, I spent my nights just listening to the sounds she made.
When I didn’t miss her so much, it was like a constant ache in my gut.
When I didn’t have to crave her so badly, no one else would do.
Because it had been ten days since I’d fed, and it was getting harder to function without blood. I was weaker, more tired. My head was foggy and sometimes my vision got hazy. I knew I wouldn’t be able to go much longer. That it could be dangerous if I didn’t feed soon, but just the thought of tasting blood that wasn’t Charlotte’s made my stomach turn.
I didn’t know if it was the claim, or if I was just fucked up now, but I couldn’t imagine drinking from anyone else when all I wanted was her luscious blood.
Her ringtone sounded from upstairs and I held my breath as I listened.
“Hello? Hey girl, what are you up to?”
I didn’t dare move as I pictured her sitting at the kitchen counter, doodling on a notepad. Even now, I had pieces of paper all over my penthouse full of her scribbles.
“No, I don’t think so. Tonight’s not a good night.”
I could hear the melancholy in her voice, and it sent a wave of guilt crashing over me. It had been much worse in the beginning. When I’d had to sit beneath her apartment and listen to her soft cries and little sniffles.
Knowing I was the cause.
Knowing I couldn’t do anything about it.
The only thing that had kept me from running to her the first time I heard her cry was I knew I’d done the right thing.
She had no business with me, and we’d had that proven to us over and over again. I’d been trying to fit her perfectly square peg in the round hole that was my world, and it was time to admit it wasn’t going to work.
She needed to live her life like a human and I had to let her go.
Which, as I sat counting her heartbeats like some crazed stalker, I realized I wasn’t doing a good job of. But I figured baby steps were better than no steps at all. I’d done the hardest part, and that had been keeping my distance these past eight nights.
Maybe one day I’d have the strength to not sit and listen to her every second I’m awake, but I didn’t see that happening anytime soon.
“That sounds like fun.”
I tuned back into her conversation, wishing I were a little closer so I could hear what the person on the other end of her call was saying.
“Okay, fine. I’ll go. But I’m only staying for an hour. I’m serious. Yeah, we will see.” She giggled and my dick hardened, the goddamn thing still hardwired to her. “Okay, I’m leaving in fifteen. I’ll see you there.”
I jumped to my feet as I stared at the ceiling, like I could see her through it if I tried hard enough.
What the hell was she thinking?
It was ten p.m. There was no telling how many vampires were out there. Hadn’t I told her to not go out at night?
If I hadn’t instructed her guard to leave every day at sundown, he’d have been there. Hopefully talking her out of this, but at the very least accompanying her wherever she thought she was going. But I hadn’t been able to stand the thought of listening to them upstairs all night. Talking and playing and laughing. All things I couldn’t do with her anymore. All things I wished like hell I still could. So, I made sure he was always gone before I woke up.
My hands clenched into fists as I heard her scurrying around up there. When she opened and closed the front door, I exited my own apartment, taking the faster route down the stairs. I tucked myself into a dim corner of the lobby and waited for her elevator car to arrive.
When sh
e stepped out, a waft of her peach scent hit me like a ton of fucking bricks. My hands actually shook as I fought to hold myself still.
She was dressed in a pair of jeans so tight they looked like they’d been painted onto her curvy body. Her tall boots clicked across the linoleum as she crossed the foyer toward the outside door.
I watched as she stood there a moment. She’d raise her hands as if reaching for the handle, before letting them fall to her sides. She did that a couple times before shaking her head and pushing the door open.
I was behind her in an instant.
“I thought I told you not to go out at night.”
Her gasp turned into a scream before she spun around to face me. “Alexander!” she breathed, her chest heaving. “What the hell are you doing?”
“What the hell are you doing?”
She took a few more shaky breaths, her hand over her thumping heart. Finally, she shook her head and looked up at me with a glare. “No. What are you doing? Why are you here?”
I took a step closer. I couldn’t help myself. It was like I was stuck in her gravitational force and had no choice but to orbit around her.
“I’m making sure you don’t do something stupid.”
She rolled her eyes as she reached up to push me back. I obliged her and took a step away. “I’ll do whatever the hell I want. And how did you get here anyway? Were you fucking spying on me again?”
I ignored the questions I didn’t want to answer. “No, you’ll be smart and march your tight little ass back upstairs and stay there.”
She narrowed her eyes at me, hands reaching for her hips. “I will march my ass wherever the hell I feel like. You don’t get a say in what I do anymore.”
I chuckled darkly. “Like I had a say before.”
She shrugged and turned away. “Whatever, Alexander. I’m leaving.”
I grabbed the back of her leather jacket and yanked, pulling her against my chest. Her heart stuttered before racing ahead, and I heard mine answer her back.
“You’re not going anywhere. It’s too dangerous.”
She wrenched herself forward and spun out of my hold. “I’ve been claimed, remember?”
My throat burned. “Vividly.”
She swallowed loudly and shook her head. “That was supposed to make me safe, remember?”
I clenched my hands into fists as I warred with the need to touch her again. “Yes, and do you remember that it didn’t matter that you were claimed because you were attacked anyway?”
“And do you remember that had nothing to do with me and everything to do with you not being able to keep your dick in your pants?” she yelled.
“It doesn’t matter why it happened!” I’d raised my voice by now too, not caring that someone could overhear us. “Do you know how many people I’ve pissed off in five hundred years? There are any number of vampires that would love to hurt you to get to me. You’re not going anywhere.”
“I am going, and you can’t stop me!”
“Damn it, Charlotte! No, you’re not. It’s too fucking risky!”
“Well, if you’ve pissed off any retired high school art teachers, let me know because I’m going to a painting class tonight! I’d hate to run into someone else who has a vendetta against you!”
She turned to leave, and I reached for her again. She looked down at my pale hand wrapped around her arm and then up at me. Her eyes were harder than I’d ever seen them. Like there was a tough, protective shell on the outside of them, preventing anything other than anger from shining through.
“Alexander, let go of me.”
I shook my head. “Not until you agree to go back upstairs and forget this ridiculous outing.”
She jerked her arm away, and I let go reluctantly. “Go home, Alexander. I don’t need you here.”
Those words cut deeper than I thought they would. I grit my teeth as she straightened her jacket and left without another word or glance at me. I watched her walk down the front steps, her shoulders squared, and her chin in the air. I kept my eyes on her until she’d walked out of my view. And then I was on the move.
I kept to the rooftops as much as I could, but I didn’t let her out of my sight again. If she was hellbent on risking her life, I’d just have to do everything in my power to make sure she made it home alive no matter what she wanted.
Charlotte
“We really shouldn’t wait so long to do this again.”
I hugged Tom’s waist tighter and felt his answering squeeze around my shoulders. “I know. Things have just been… crazy lately.”
As if that wasn’t the understatement of the decade.
It seemed so long ago, but I hadn’t seen him or Matt since before finals. Back then, that had been my excuse for not going out. I’d been determined to ace every test and graduate with honors. Funny how that was the least of my worries now.
No, now my worry was keeping myself away from the pointy end of a vampire.
But I hadn’t seen a single one of those in over a week. If you didn’t count the little scene I had earlier with him.
Even now, that encounter had the power to raise my blood pressure.
I couldn’t imagine the kind of balls it took to drop me off in the middle of the night at some random apartment building, only to show up again when I decided to do something he didn’t approve of.
Despite how angry I still was, there was no denying there was a lot of hurt and sadness beneath the ire. I’d finally gotten to a place where I thought I could move on with my life. That I could rebuild. That I could start over.
I wasn’t happy about it, and it wasn’t my first choice of paths, but I was going to make the best of it. I’d been dealt worse hands in my life and somehow found a way to play them. I could do this too.
But the first step in moving on was getting over him.
I’d always had a feeling whatever was between us would be temporary. The moment he’d said he didn’t want me changed, I knew there was no way he’d intended to stick around. And I was okay with that.
Mostly.
At least I’d been trying to be okay with that.
But I’d thought we had months or even weeks until I had to worry about him getting sick of me. I’d thought I had more time to prepare myself to lose him.
Turns out, I’d had none.
No warning.
No time.
No choice.
Alexander had done the footwork behind my back, and I’d been left with few options. I could stay in the apartment he’d rented for me, or I could sleep on the streets of New York City until I could find something for myself. The indignation had burned hot in my veins, but I’d accepted the key from him and moved into his apartment.
Thankfully, it had been furnished and even stocked with clothes in my size. I’d wondered when my things would show up, but that was answered the next morning when a crew of movers had me buzz them into my building.
So, Alexander had thought of everything. He’d tied up each loose string between us, burnt the ends, and walked off.
I’d been sad.
I’d been hurt.
I’d been lonelier than I’ve ever been in my life.
But I was still standing. I was still breathing. And I was going to find a way past all this.
I just didn’t know how I was supposed to move on when he had the ability to show up whenever he wanted.
I didn’t know how I was supposed to stop thinking about him with the smell of his cologne still on my clothes.
I didn’t know how I was supposed to sleep when I could still remember how each hard line of his body felt pressed against mine.
Not that I’d been sleeping much lately anyway.
We stopped outside my building and I turned to give each of them a hug and kiss on the cheek. “Thanks for dragging me out tonight. I had so much fun.”
“But you didn’t even take your painting home,” Matt whined playfully.
I pretended to shiver. “Because that butterfly looked like a
demon and I wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight with it in my apartment.”
They laughed and hugged and kissed me again before heading off down the street arm in arm. I watched them go for a minute before turning to my door with a sigh.
I reached for the handle when a tight arm wrapped around my waist and pulled me off my feet. A startled squeak slipped from my lips before I was dragged into the alleyway next to my building and pressed against the wall.
The fear in my veins dissipated as quickly as it had formed as I reacted to the man behind me. It didn’t matter that I hadn’t seen his face or heard him speak yet. My body knew his so intimately, I’d recognize him anywhere.
His hands crept around my hips where he gripped me tight. “Why do you defy me?”
I swallowed past the dry lump in my throat. “Because you’re not my boss.”
He growled against the back of my neck. “No, I’m the sorry son of a bitch trying to keep you alive.”
I shrugged, my heart racing so fast, my lungs straining. “Seems like I did just fine on my own tonight.”
He scoffed and spun me around, his angry eyes shooting daggers at me. “Do you know how many vampires you encountered tonight?”
“Why? Were you counting?”
He growled again and took a step closer, invading my space and infiltrating every part of my body as I tried to hold myself still. “Yes, I was counting. I was counting the ways you could be hurt or killed tonight. I was counting the minutes until you ended this ridiculous endeavor. And then I was counting the amount of men you decided to date tonight.”
My lips twitched, but I said nothing.
He ducked his head until his mouth was a breath away from my face. “Tell me, Charlotte. Is it customary for women to date two men at once these days?”
I shrugged. “If everyone’s happy to share, why not?”
The most menacing sound I’d ever heard rumbled through his chest, but I smiled wider.
“Do not test my patience tonight, Charlotte. I am this close to my breaking point.”
I pushed him back a step, trying to ignore the way my fingers tingled where they touched him. “What happens then, Alexander? What are you going to do about it?”
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