by Anya Byrne
Without another word, the human turned and started to walk away. Mathias just stood there and stared helplessly, his magic and his wolf screaming in pain as he lost the mate he'd found after so long.
He couldn't bring himself to move until Ward had already gone, disappearing into the distance toward his house. It was only then that he managed to turn away as well, his head spinning as he tried to figure out how he'd managed to screw up so badly.
He'd known Ward's history made Mathias's relationship with Will a potential problem. Fuck. He should have been more tactful. He should have explained better. He'd failed his mate.
A part of him screamed to just return to his den and lick his wounds in private, but instead, Mathias found his steps carrying him to the Lone Wolf Pack cabin. It was well into the evening when he got there, but he was in luck. Dean and Will were outside, chatting and laughing lightly.
Dean was the one who felt Mathias first. The Alpha turned, his eyes meeting Mathias's in the darkness. Something must have clued him in with regard to how Mathias felt, because he nodded in silent acknowledgment. He squeezed Will's hand, and then turned and headed into the house.
Once Dean was gone, Will immediately focused on Mathias. "What is it, Matt? What's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost."
"I think... I think I lost him."
****
A few days later
Ward wiped his brow of sweat and critically scanned the portion of the roof within his view. As far as he could tell, he'd done a good job patching up the unexpected hole. Hopefully, he wouldn't have any unpleasant surprises the next time it rained.
He'd started to go down the staircase when he heard the car approaching. Ward jumped down and turned toward the road, squinting even as a spark of hope swelled in his heart—one he desperately tried to suppress.
Mathias hadn't come to see him at all since their argument. Ward had given a lot of thought to what Mathias had told him, and at some level, he realized he couldn't blame the werewolf for keeping the secret. He also couldn't blame Mathias for any relationship the man had before they'd met. It would have been stupid. God only knew Ward had been involved with someone too, and he was much, much younger than Mathias.
Still, it had hurt to see Mathias speak with such fondness of his great-uncle, smiling in that way Ward had hoped was reserved only for him. It was too easy to remember how things had happened with Peter and Teresa, too easy to see Mathias go through with a similar betrayal.
Ward had survived the humiliation and pain once. He didn't think he could do it again, not if Mathias was the culprit.
Despite all this, he couldn't help but wish Mathias was the one coming to see him. He was both disappointed and relieved when the car he spotted in the distance turned out to be a different one. It also confused him—again—because he hadn't bothered to meet up with any of his neighbors and he didn't see why anyone would be visiting him.
It was only when the car stopped that Ward finally got his answer. A slender man with chocolate brown hair slid out of the vehicle, looked around and inhaled deeply. For a few moments, he didn't speak, but he didn't have to, because Ward instantly knew who he was.
One look at the new arrival's face propelled him years back, when he used to sit with his grandfather, looking at old albums with faded black and white photos. There was one photo in particular that his grandfather had both loved and hated, taken weeks before his brother's disappearance, at a dance of sorts. It had been the last time the four brothers had shown up in the album together, and afterward, Will's absence from the pictures was like a jarring hole that left everyone looking either hurt or angry—or both.
Looking at his unexpected guest, Ward saw that very same image, of a young man smiling awkwardly with his larger brothers crowded around him. He supposed he should have expected the visit since Mathias had mentioned his great-uncle, but somehow, it hadn't occurred to him that it would happen.
"Well then," the man finally said after a long pause, "this place's changed very little. Brings back so many memories."
The words snapped Ward out of his trance, and that was fortunate because the little blast from the past stepped forward, smiling warmly. "You must be Ward Bennett. I'm Will Orwell, but you might know me as Will Mulligan."
Ward nodded dumbly. "I've seen some pictures, yes..." He cleared his throat, trying to gather his wits. "Of course, I didn't actually expect to ever meet you in person, at least not before coming here."
"The world's a stranger place than you'd ever dream, Mr. Bennett," Will replied not unkindly. "Believe me, I know. But all things considered, I think you suspect what I'm here to talk about."
It was still a little surreal to stand here with a man he knew from childhood stories, but he supposed that if he could get used to the idea of werewolves, having his great-uncle come back from the supposed dead wasn't that odd. "Mathias, I'm guessing."
Will nodded, but he didn't immediately speak. It occurred to Ward that they were still standing outside the house, and this was one conversation they probably didn't want to have in the open. "Please, come inside," he said, gesturing toward the door.
"Thank you," came the reply.
As Ward guided his guest into the house, he was more aware than ever that the man with him had more history here than he ever would. He couldn't hope to guess how hard it must be for his great-uncle to revisit those memories. Nonetheless, Will didn't show any further reaction to revisiting his family home. Ward didn't know if he was disappointed or not. Maybe it would have made things easier, or less awkward? Then again, maybe not.
Fidgeting, Ward turned toward his great-uncle. "Would you like something to drink? Tea? A beer?"
"Thanks, no. I'm fine. I really just dropped by to talk, and I don't want to inconvenience you."
They sat together on the living room couch, and Ward wished he'd brought tea anyway, if only to have something to do with his hands. Thankfully, Will didn't let the silence stretch for too long. "First of all, I'd like to thank you."
"Thank me?" Ward repeated, puzzled. "Whatever for?"
"For giving me my friend back," Will answered. "I'm sure Mathias explained the situation between the two of us, and our history. Recent developments— mostly rooted in the fact that I could never have romantic feelings toward him—hurt us both deeply, but since he met you, we've finally started to rebuild some of what was broken."
Ward wasn't sure what to say to that, but he decided that maybe honesty was the best policy. "I'm not sure I did much of anything. I simply ran into him. Literally."
"Sometimes, that's enough." Will's expression sobered. "Mathias tells me you think you're a replacement for me."
The sudden change in topic and atmosphere jarred Ward. It embarrassed him to have his personal affairs exposed like that, but he supposed he wasn't surprised Mathias had gone to Will to pour out his troubles. Did that mean Will knew about Ward's past with Peter? God, Ward hoped not.
As if guessing Ward's thoughts, Will continued. "Mathias said that you had a bad experience, although he hasn't given me the details. I won't press, and anything you do from here on is completely your choice and your call. I just came to explain a few things—things that I wish I'd had someone explain to me when I was younger."
"What things?" Ward asked, his voice trembling.
"You see, Mr. Bennett, werewolves and other such beings don't think like we do. Mathias might look human, but he isn't. I'm sure that at an intellectual level, you understand that, since you've seen him shift, but actually grasping what it means is harder. Sometimes, I still have trouble."
Ward licked his lips nervously. "Is this about the mate thing?" Mathias had mentioned it during their last conversation, and Ward knew enough about wolves to read between the lines and understand what the concept meant for him and Mathias.
"Indeed. My guess is that you already know how wolves mate in the wild, so I won't prolong this unnecessarily. Basically, many shifters and other such paranormal creatures take mates. The
ir advanced senses help them identify their other halves. It is as easy as scenting them, or looking at them for the first time."
Ward scowled and opened his mouth to speak, but Will stopped him before he could utter a single word. "I know what you're going to say. Does it mean anything if it's just chemistry? Does he really want me or is it just his body telling him he does? They're all questions I asked myself at one time, and for many years, I told myself I should have been more cautious. My mate, the father of my child, had left me despite all the promises we'd made to one another. It didn't mean anything. Except it did. I still loved him, and he still loved me—for decades."
Will sighed. "I suppose ours is not the best example, but what I'm trying to say... Werewolves know. It isn't something we as humans can always rationalize. We experience it to some extent, but not like them."
"Okay, fair enough," Ward managed to cut in. "But how does that translate into Mathias loving you for so long?"
"It's because Mathias isn't only a werewolf. He's half-Sidhe. I must admit I had my own doubts about your relationship when he first came to me, but then I understood... His magic is like another sense, and the similarities between the two of us confused it." Much to Ward's surprise, Will reached for his hand. "I know this is very odd for you, Mr. Bennett, but you have to consider... Mathias has been alone for a long time. He's been alive longer than the entire Mulligan line existed. That sort of thing leaves a mark."
Mathias had already told Ward about his age, but Ward had never taken the time to fully process it. Now that his great-uncle was explaining it, that seemed foolish and selfish.
Will released his hand and leaned against the back of the couch. "The last thing I want is to pressure you, but I understand how a human's mind works. Mathias... He endures. It's what he's done for decades, for centuries. It's what he knows. And at this point, I think his perception of time is a little warped. He decided to give you some room to breathe, like you asked, and while I respect that choice on his side and yours, it occurred to me that his patience might be counterproductive. I'm sorry for intervening in a private situation, but I do care about him, and you are after all, Karl's grandson. So maybe I feel just a little bit entitled to do it."
Will smiled, and a mix of discomfort and yearning twisted in Ward's chest. There was something paternal and fond about the way Will was looking at him, and if not for the worm of jealousy still poisoning Ward's heart, he'd have been inclined to crumple into the man's embrace and sob on his shoulder. Instead, he said, "He loved you, you know. Grandfather. I'm not sure if Mathias told you, but Grandfather always regretted how things ended between the two of you."
Will's eyes widened and his breath caught. "He did?"
Ward nodded. "He told me so many things about you... I think, in my heart, I always wondered if he only cared about me because he couldn't care about you, and maybe it fueled this thing with Mathias." Shaking his head, Ward huffed. "But it's not fair to his memory to say that now. I just... I wanted you to know, because he would've wanted you to know."
Will swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing in an obvious show of emotion. "What else did he tell you?"
Ward couldn't resist that question, so he ended up recounting to Will stories of his grandfather and how he'd grown up. Sometimes, Will would laugh and reminisce along with those very same memories Ward only knew second-hand. It made Ward feel better, even if in a way, they were just avoiding the reason Will had come here to begin with.
He couldn't avoid it forever, he realized. Will hadn't given him any advice or any suggestion, and for that Ward was thankful, because in the end, this was his choice, and his heart. He had to try again, to really listen and give Mathias the chance to tell him what he'd been trying to say that day.
"Where is he now?" he asked Will. "Mathias, I mean."
"He's back at my place, with my son. As you probably know, he's helping Jessie through the last stages of his pregnancy."
"Yes, he told me. I admit it's still very weird for me to even consider."
"It is." Will fixed him with piercing green eyes. "But I just want you to know one thing. No matter how strange it's been, no matter how much it hurt and how much fear or pain I experienced... It's all been worth it. I can't say I have no regrets, because I do. I spent decades separated from my mate, resenting him for abandoning Jessie and me. It was hard for me to let go, even when we met again. But in the end, it was worth it."
Will didn't say it, but Ward heard the unspoken words anyway. It could be worth it for you too. Ward wanted nothing more than to believe that, to be able to let go of all his doubts and trust Mathias.
Well, he knew what the first step was. Taking a deep breath, he asked, "Would it be too much of an imposition if I visited your pack today?"
Will grinned. "Not at all. In fact, I was hoping you'd say that."
****
The warm energy pulsed through Mathias, content and alive. His magic entwined with the two distinctive threads he was testing, soothing and caressing. He didn't push too much—it wasn't his place—and when he was satisfied about the information he'd received, he pulled back, retreating from Jessie's body.
No sooner had he done so than an agitated question filled his ears. "Well? How are they?"
Mathias opened his eyes and arched a brow at Andreas. "Everything is in order, Mr. Brandt. I've told you already. Your mate's condition is stabilized, and the children are healthy and happy. This was merely a routine checkup."
He patted Jessie's belly and grinned. "But then, I gather Jessie already knew that."
"I did." Jessie smiled happily. "I have no words to thank you. I never realized how bad I was doing until you came along."
Mathias wanted to say there was no need for any thanks, but before he could do so, something in the energy around him shifted. It was distant still, but getting closer. A few moments later, Mathias easily identified it. His mate was nearby.
It had taken a lot of resolve for Mathias to respect Ward's decision. Sometimes, he still went to the house, in shifted form, but he didn't actually approach Ward. It had been hard as hell, and it wasn't any easier to remain calm now instead of bursting out of Jessie and Andreas's bedroom like he wanted.
Still, the change in his mood must have shown because Jessie shot him a concerned look. "Is everything okay?"
"Everything's fine, pup," Mathias replied with a strained smile. "I just think we have visitors."
His words were soon confirmed as Andreas's senses registered the approaching car as well. "I think it must be Will."
Mathias nodded. In fact, he wouldn't be surprised in the slightest if that was the case. He'd known his friend was worried about him, and the idea that Will had gone to talk to Ward was the likeliest explanation.
"I'll be right back," he offered absently. "I need to check something over with him."
Andreas and Jessie let him go without comment, and Mathias was thankful for it because he didn't know if he could come up with a better explanation. He left the house just in time to see Will pull in. Predictably, he had Ward with him, and the two humans got out at the vehicle at the same time.
Time seemed to freeze when Ward finally caught sight of Mathias. Their gazes met and Ward stopped walking. Mathias wanted nothing more than to move and meet his mate halfway, but he couldn't make his muscles work.
Will didn't say a word. He simply slid past Mathias and into the house, leaving him alone with Ward. The door closed with a slight click, and the noise finally made Mathias shake out of his stupor. He took a few steps forward, walking steadily until he was in front of Ward. His hands were trembling, so he stuck them in the pockets of his jeans, trying to steady himself. "Hi," he greeted his mate. "I didn't think you wanted to see me."
"I did and didn't." Ward shot him a sheepish smile. "That's probably confusing, isn't it?"
"You're allowed to be confused," Mathias told his mate. "You're also allowed to take all the time you need. I know this is far from an ideal situation."
&nb
sp; "Life is rarely ideal," Ward answered. He inhaled deeply and looked up at the sky. In turn, Mathias stared at the exposed column of Ward's neck, wanting nothing more than to kiss and nibble at his mate's skin.
When Ward looked at him once again, he was smiling. "But that's fine, I think. Nothing is perfect, not people and not art. Our imperfections make us who we are. So... If you're willing to be patient with me, do you want to try this again?"
Mathias's breath caught. "Are you giving me another chance?"
Ward snorted. "I'm not sure I gave you the first one. I'm sorry. I was rash and I pushed you away. I want to understand. Please help me understand."
The underlying words were 'please make me believe'. Mathias had no doubt that his mate still had trouble trusting anyone and such a huge leap of faith was a gift. Mathias would not waste it.
He offered Ward his hand, and when Ward took it, he kissed the tip of his mate's fingers. "It's okay, Ward. We have all the time in the world."
Something danced in Ward's eyes and he laughed lightly, like he knew something Mathias didn't. "What's so funny?" Mathias asked, puzzled, but not offended.
"Nothing," Ward replied, shaking his head. He pulled on Mathias's hand, guiding him away from the house. "Come on. Where is this den of yours?"
Mathias gave Ward a look of disbelief. "Are you serious? Why would you want to go there?"
Ward shrugged. "I don't know. I just want to."
There was something beyond the nonchalance involved in the gesture, something that kept Mathias from resisting or protesting any further. Besides, he wanted to get his mate alone, and he was acutely aware of all the people inside the house. Mathias's wolf wasn't too happy about having the Alphas so close to the mate he hadn't claimed, so he happily embraced the offer.
Instead of walking, though, he chose the easier, faster version. He picked Ward up in his arms, making his mate yelp in surprise.
Okay, so his impulse had very little to do with expedience and was more about his desire to be close to his mate again. Thankfully, Ward seemed to understand that, because after that brief moment of confused struggle, he quieted down in Mathias's arms.
