“Go ahead, it’s our place. You can sleep wherever you want.” She wraps her arms around my leg, cuddling it close to her before resting her head against the back of the ugly couch, letting her eyes close. Seconds later, she’s softly snoring and for the moment, everything is perfect.
***
Summer is slowly passing, and Lena is little by little getting bigger. Adjusting to being on our own is more of a struggle than we anticipated. Learning little things like each other’s bathroom habits has been a big adjustment. She’s still super touchy about me being in the general vicinity when she takes a shit. It doesn’t bother me. I tell her that but it doesn’t matter. If I so much as knock on the door she’s screaming.
Shower time has also been something we have to compromise on. Our water heater is tiny so two showers back to back is impossible. We showered together in the beginning, but now she’s getting self-conscious with her growing belly. Again, I told her not to be, but all that gets me is a death glare. After a huge fight, we agreed to rotate morning and night showers. I couldn’t believe how quickly a fight over hot water escalated.
Now that some time has passed we’ve worked out the kinks which is such a relief. I hate fighting with Lena. She’s my rock, having her pissed throws everything off. I’m struggling with her mood swings, walking on egg shells, and not really sure how to help her but after our first doctors visit I feel more comfortable knowing it’s not Lena that’s a raving lunatic, it’s her hormones.
Our state health insurance finally kicked in and we’re walking into Lena’s first doctor’s appointment since that positive pregnancy test. Her hand is linked in mine, squeezing tightly.
“I’m nervous, Hap,” she confessed just before we walked into the clinic.
“Don’t be nervous. I’m here with you.” I assure her, giving her hand a quick kiss.
“What if they’re assholes because we’re young? What if they lecture us or won’t take me as a patient because we’re young? Then what? What if something is wrong with the baby?” Her eyes glossed over, and I could see tears were threatening to fall. She’s on the verge of a meltdown, I could see it. I’d learned to recognize the signs and try to diffuse the situation before she’s a pile of tears on the floor. Women are hard to figure out.
“Shhh, calm down, baby. Everything is going to be okay. Please, stop worrying so much.” It’s the same thing I tell her all the time, but it’s like she’s addicted to worry. She can’t stop.
“How can you be so sure?” she questions nervously.
“Because it’s you and me and as long as we’re together everything will be okay. Okay?” I lifted her face to meet my gaze.
She shook her head slowly. “Okay, Hap. I trust you.”
“Great, let’s go in.”
We sat and filled out paperwork before a nurse finally called us back. After a weigh in, which Lena made me close my eyes for, the nurse gets us checked in with a smile. The moment she leaves the room I look over at my girl. “See. She was nice. Nothing to be scared of.” Leaning forward I pat her knee trying to reassure her.
“Yeah, she was nice. They’ve all been nice so far. As long as the Dr…” Before she can finish a small Asian woman enters the room after knocking softly.
“Hello, I’m Dr. Nguyen. It’s nice to meet you.” Her hand extends to both Lena and me.
“I’m Lena and this is my boyfriend, Hap. It’s nice to meet you as well.”
“Well, let’s get started shall we. Is there anything you’re uncomfortable saying in front of Hap? I mean no offense, I have to ask.” The woman offers me a small smile.
“No, nothing. Go ahead.” Lena assures her.
“Good. Tell me when your last period was,” she began and the questions continued for a little while. After the q&a session was over she began the exam. “Go ahead and lay back, let’s see if we can hear a heartbeat.” The tiny lady helped Lena lay back then lifted her shirt. Lena’s belly looked far more pregnant than I realized. She’s started wearing baggy shirts and pants lately and wouldn’t let me see her without clothes. We haven’t even had sex in longer than I can remember.
My eyes traveled up from her growing bump to her face which was turned toward me and looked terrified.
“What’s the matter, baby?” I asked, standing to go to her while the doctor prepared her things.
“I don’t want you to see me all fat like this,” she whispered, pointing to her tummy.
“Lena, baby, you’re not fat you’re growing a baby. Our baby. Don’t be ashamed of that, not with me.”
“You’re not grossed out?”
“No, not at all. I love your bump and knowing our baby is growing in there.” My hand rested gently on her belly, something she had yet to let me do. “You are the most gorgeous girl I know. You will always be the most gorgeous girl to me.” Leaning down I kiss her as my thumb wipes a tear off her cheek.
“You ready to hear your baby’s heartbeat?” Dr. Nguyen asked coming back in the room. We were so lost in the moment neither of us realized she stepped out.
“Yes please,” Lena said quietly, smiling that dazzling smile. Looking at the doc, who gave me a nod of understanding, I nodded yes. I was ready. We were ready.
She placed the instrument on Lena’s belly then turned on the device. Nothing but white noise came through for what seemed like forever. Dr. Nguyen continued to slowly move the Doppler over the skin until we heard it. Beneath the white noise was a soft thump, thump, thump, thump.
“Is that it?” I asked.
“Yes, that’s your baby’s heartbeat.”
Lena’s hand squeezed mine tight as we listened, entranced by the wonder of our baby. A few minutes passed as the sound filled the silence in the room.
“Sounds good. Very strong rhythm.” She removed the device then helped Lena up. “Your exam went well. You and the baby both appear to be healthy. I want you to start a prenatal vitamin and be sure to eat well-balanced meals. I will see you back in about a month okay?”
“Okay, thank you so much.” I could see some of the stress fade from Lena’s face with the first appointment behind her.
“One more thing. Your body is changing. Hormones are going wild. You’re going to feel tons of emotions that can be erratic. Laughing one minute, crying the next. You might crave strange food and hate food you used to love. Don’t ever be embarrassed or ashamed of the things your body does while pregnant. You’re both very young and I know you’re scared but you have something I don’t see in people years older than the two of you–love. I can see the way you look at each other that you’re really in this together. That’s very rare, especially at your age. My advice, trust each other and know that it’s not going to be easy, and you’re gonna struggle but in the end you’ll be okay if you just trust.” She winked at both of us as we sat quietly, letting her words penetrate.
“See you next month. You can schedule at the front desk.” With that she walked out.
“Let’s go home.” I helped Lena off the table.
“Hap?”
“Yeah, babe?”
“I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“Being so bitchy lately and refusing to let you see me without clothes and for not wanting you to touch me. I do trust you. I just want you to know that.”
“I do know that.” I put my arm around her as we walked out to the front desk. “Don’t worry about me, Lena, you’re not bitchy just sassy sometimes and as far as sex? We have a lifetime for that, I can handle being celibate for a while. Besides, I have a hand.” I raised my hand to her for a high five and giggles fell from her mouth. It was the most beautiful sound. Her laughter made me feel like I could conquer the world.
“Love you, Hap.”
“Love you too, Lena.”
***
“You sure I shouldn’t get a job? I feel bad having you working while I stay here.”
This argument is becoming a daily thing. Every time I have to leave for work she either begs me to stay or tri
es to convince me that she needs a job. I hate leaving her home alone so much. Her friends are all away on family trips for their graduation and her mother still isn’t speaking to her.
The last time my dad hit me was one hell of a fight. It was the first time I’d hit back. Once was all it took for him to realize how bad he’d gotten. How horrified my mother would be to see the man he’d become. A few days later he checked himself into rehab. He hasn’t touched a drop of alcohol or laid a hand on me since. Not long after Lena got pregnant, he met another woman online who he dated fairly frequently. When Lena and I moved out, so did he. It was a huge leap for him since she lived five hours away, but it seemed the next logical choice for my father, and he’s happier than I’ve ever seen him. I’m truly happy for him and hold no grudges from the past. We both lost my mother and grieved in different ways. He’s sorry now, that’s what I carry with me.
We truly only have each other.
“I know you get bored here, babe, but you start school in the fall. No point in working for a few months when I make enough to take care of us for now.”
“I know. It’s just so lonely sometimes.” I hated seeing the sadness in her eyes. The longing to go out and be young.
“Lena, maybe it’s time to call your mom?”
“Why would you say that?” She steps back from me, loneliness turning to anger. There’s one thing I’ve learned since finding out she’s going to have a baby. Hormones during pregnancy are fucking insane, and they can turn on you, emotionally, in an instant. Two nights was all it took in our new place to witness my sweet and loving girlfriend turn into a raging lunatic then a heap of tears in a matter of minutes because I forgot pretzels on my way home. It was horrifying and I made a promise not to cause that kind of meltdown again. Despite my best efforts, it was about to happen.
“I was just thinking maybe she could keep you company sometimes. Not all the time, just sometimes and maybe she’s accepted us and the baby? Maybe she can help you deal with the changes going on? I don’t know. I just hate seeing you so upset. Don’t be mad.” I walked toward her, closing the gap she created. She stepped back again. “Lena, come on.” My arm stretched toward her, my hand begging her to reach out.
“I don’t want to talk to my mother. Don’t ever bring her up again.” Her words were vehement.
“Okay, I promise. I’m sorry.” My arms were held above my head, surrendering.
“Put your arms down, you look stupid. Go to work. I’ll be fine but you’re going to the laundromat with me when you get home.”
“Deal. I love you.” She let me close enough to kiss her goodbye before she went back to the computer where she spent all of her time lately.
“What are you doing over there?”
“Writing. I got an idea the other night and decided to write it down. Why not? Who knows, maybe I’ll be a big time author.” She shrugged playfully, signs of my sweet girlfriend returning.
“See, I’m not lonely… I have my friends.” She winked cutely at me.
“Okay, babe. Love you. Write a blockbuster,” I call out over my shoulder as I head out to work, leaving her with her stories.
***
We pull up to the laundromat just after six. I’m dead tired from working. They had me out bussing tables more which was good money wise, better tips, but on busy nights like tonight it is fucking exhausting. I consider telling Lena we can go another day but she was all ready when I walked in the door, the laundry baskets by the door and a sack dinner packed. I didn’t have the heart to tell her no.
Most kids our age are out partying on weekend nights, not Lena and me. We spend them at the laundromat. It’s not bad. It seems to be the same group of people every Saturday night for the last month or so. They seem nice enough. Lena loves going and even though we’ve yet to talk to any of them she says she loves watching them. I don’t hate it, but I would rather be at home on the couch with her curled up beside me.
“Looks like the gang is all here,” she squeals before opening the door, too quick for me to respond. I follow her in, the larger of the two baskets in my arms. She goes to our usual machines and starts the process while I set up our sack dinner at the table we sit at every week. I unwrap the sandwiches and open her bag of chips, setting it nicely as though we are out at a fancy dinner. This is our fancy dinner. I pop open her can of Sprite just as she sits down.
“Thanks for dinner, babe, looks delicious.” I lean over to kiss her, gently patting her leg.
“It’s just sandwiches,” she retorts.
“No, it’s not. It’s dinner made with love.”
“You’re sweet.”
“Thank you.”
“And girly,” she said with a giggle. I toss a chip at her in mock offense. “Hey!” she exclaims pretending to be wounded. I love this side of Lena. I love every side of her, but this is my favorite. Her smile is infectious. Her laugh better than any anti-depressant on the market. She’s going to be a fantastic mother. We continue eating and laughing causing all the exhaustion I felt earlier to dissipate. The bell on the washer sounds breaking up our little party. I stand to help her transfer the clothes to the dryer. Before I take a step, the little old lady who’s in there every Saturday night steps in front of me.
Her face shows faint signs of aging, and she wears her hair long unlike most older women I see. She always has her makeup on and tonight is no different. Light blue eye shadow, pink cheeks and red lips. She’s quite beautiful for a woman her age, and I always wonder what she’s doing in a laundromat. She doesn’t look like someone who needs to do her laundry here.
“Hello, can I help you with something?” I ask when she stands firmly in front of me.
“I’m Ruby Green.” Her mouth curves into a smile, her hand stretches out to mine. Not wanting to be rude I take it in my own.
“I’m Hap Lansing and that’s my girlfriend Lena Johnson.” I tip my head toward Lena, who stopped switching clothes to watch the exchange. The woman named Ruby smiles at me then at Lena.
“It’s nice to talk to you both. I see you in here every week and you’re just so darn cute. I had to say hello.”
Lena abandons the laundry switch for the time being and came to stand by me. “It’s nice to talk to you as well, Ruby.” A smile spreads across my girl’s face as she looked at the woman.
“May I ask you a question, dear?” Her voice was soft, gentle.
“Of course.”
“Are you with child?” The words were nearly a whisper in an effort to keep our secret from the other laundromat patrons.
Lena giggled. “Yes, almost five months actually. I’m really starting to show aren’t I?” Her hands fall to her growing belly. The t-shirt that was once loose on her is now flush against her skin. She is showing more than I realized. “You don’t have to whisper. We’re not ashamed,” Lena says proudly, her free hand reaching out for mine which I promptly hold.
Ruby smiled sweetly at us. “Cash, get over here,” she calls out to a man sitting in the farthest corner of the laundromat talking to the blonde girl who usually keeps to herself. Reluctantly, he stands up and moseyed over to the woman.
“Cash, I’d like you to meet this nice young couple… Hap and Lena,” she introduces.
Cash stretches a hand out to both of us. “Nice to meet both of you,” he said with a smile that mirrored Ruby’s. It’s obvious they’re related somehow. Also, like Ruby, he looks a bit out of place here.
“Lena is going to have a baby! Isn’t that exciting?” Ruby claps her hands together.
“Congratulations to both of you,” Cash says with a smile.
“Umm, thank you both,” I offer.
“I just love babies. Cash, help Hap transfer the clothes. I want to hear all the baby details.” Before any of us could respond, she had Lena sitting down and Cash and I were standing there bewildered. With a shake of my head, I decide not to question Ruby and instead went to swap the laundry. Cash followed as he was instructed to do.
“Thanks, man,
you don’t have to do that.” It feels awkward having a strange dude touch our things.
“Um, I know you just met my grandmother, but I’m sure you can tell that when she says something you listen, even if that’s helping a stranger with laundry.” We both chuckle. Yes, that much I had gathered in our brief meeting.
“Your grandma, huh? She’s sweet. We see her in here every week.” I quickly transfer the wet clothes into a basket before Cash has a chance to help. I doubted Lena wants a strange dude touching her underwear. I don’t want a strange dude touching her underwear. He’s clearly as uncomfortable as I am, so I keep the conversation light, doing all the laundry but making it look as though he’s helping.
“Yeah, she likes meeting people. A bit of a busy body. Sorry for her bluntness.”
“Ahh, don’t worry about it, man. She’s nice and Lena is happy to talk to someone other than me.”
“She doesn’t even need to do laundry here. She just comes here to watch people.” He shakes his head in disbelief.
“I wondered about that. I never see her here with too many clothes to wash.” I push in the coins and press start, thankful that’s done and he didn’t have to touch our clothes. “How did she talk you into hanging out at the Wash and Tumble on a Saturday night?” We chat casually, making our way back to Lena and Ruby.
“She’s an odd woman but I love the hell out of her, plus we’re the only family we have left so I make it a point to hang out with her a few times a week. Tonight happens to be her laundry night.” He chuckles.
“Seems like a legit reason,” I reply, laughing myself.
By the time we reach the table it’s attracted the other few patrons and they’re all gushing over Lena. All but the one loner dude who always looks pissed off. He’s just standing back, watching the commotion and the brunette with big tits.
“Babe!” Lena exclaims happily, clearly loving all the attention. “Meet our new friends!” She excitedly grabs my hand, pulling me into the center of the circle they created. I was a little wary of the word “friends” but this is the happiest I’ve seen her since her mother basically disowned us. Who am I to crush that happiness?
Baby (Laundromat Chonicles Book 3) Page 3
