by Jim Cox
But the bad memories also continued—the sounds, sights, smell of the war and his months in prison. As hard as he tried, Buck could not subdue this terrible period of his life and it kept overwhelming his thoughts. In fact, Grant woke him a time or two every week from yelling.
Weeks passed but nothing much changed. The early March weather was still cold and the snow showers had not let up. However, sunny days were now appearing occasionally raising hope spring was on its way. During one of these sunny days, Buck had come downstairs in mid-afternoon for coffee and saw Mrs. Stardom reading a book.
“It must be exciting to know how to read,” he said, pausing beside her with cup in hand.
“Yes, it is, Buck. Someday you should find a person who’ll teach you. It’ll change your life.”
“I plan to once I get settled, Mrs. Stardom.” Buck took a long swallow of coffee and then asked, “Is that the Bible you’re reading? It looks like Ma’s Bible she kept on our fireplace mantle.”
Mrs. Stardom smiled. “Yes, it is, Buck. It’s God’s Holy word. It belonged to my father and was given to me when he died.”
“My ma and pa was God fearing’ people, Mrs. Stardom. They thought it was important to own a Bible even though no one in the family could read—it never left the fireplace mantle. Ma knew a considerable amount about what it said, though. Said she learned it from a parson who came by their house from time-to-time when she was growing up.”
“Would you like for me to read it to you, Buck? I’ve been reading from the Book of Matthew—it’s very inspiring.”
“I’d be honored to hear the words, ma’am.”
Mrs. Stardom started over at the beginning of chapter one and was reading chapter eleven. ’Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.’
At this point, Buck stopped her and asked, “What does that mean, Mrs. Stardom? Is the yoke Jesus is talking about like a yoke for an ox?”
“Not exactly,” she answered, “but similar. Jesus is telling us that if we believe in Him and trust Him, He’ll give us peace and comfort and forgive us of our wrong-doings. That He’ll remove all of our painful past and place it on His shoulders.”
“Does it mean He’s willing to take-on and remove my terrible war day memories, Mrs. Stardom?” She smiled and gave an affirming nod.
During another afternoon, when Buck and Mrs. Stardom were enjoying coffee at the kitchen table, she asked rather unexpectedly, “Buck, have you ever courted a young lady?”
He was caught off-guard but quickly recovered and with an embarrassed tone said, “One time I had a girl to kiss me on the lips, but we weren’t really courting. It was more like a goodbye kiss ’cause I was heading out the next morning.”
“You’re twenty-two, Buck. Don’t you think it time to start thinking about getting married and having a family?”
“Yes, ma’am, I think about it all the time, but I ain’t found no one yet. I’ve decided women don’t find me suitable…they don’t seem to come around me much.”
“You’re looking at it all wrong, Buck. You’re an attractive young man. You have a good personality, and are very mannerly. You’d be a great catch for some young lady, but first you’ll have to go to places where they are. You need to venture out, Buck. If you’re not at the livery or café, you’re here at the house with me, and I’m too old for you.”
“Are you interested in getting married again, Mrs. Stardom?” Buck asked with a broad smile.
“That’s not what I meant, Josiah Johnson, and you know it. I was only making a point concerning your situation,” she said.
“I know, ma’am, but what you said to me goes for you, too. You’re an attractive woman, very intelligent, with a nice personality. That’s everything a man is looking for in a woman, and there’s plenty out there who would give their right arm to marry a woman like you.”
“Those are kind words, Buck, but offhand, I don’t know of a man who would be interested in me, or me in him.”
“How about Grant, ma’am? They don’t come any better than him, and I’m sure he’s ready to settle down again. You two are about the same age with similar likes and dislikes. He has a good job at the livery and is even thinking about buying it—says it’s for sale. Besides, I think he likes you. He has a twinkle to his eyes when you’re around.”
Mrs. Stardom rose and went for coffee. When she returned, her face was a little red, and she wore a slight smile. “You have a vivid imagination, Buck. I’m sure Grant has no interest in me at all.”
“Mrs. Stardom,” Buck stopped short.
“What is it, Buck? What were you about to say?”
“Is marriage a good thing? Were you happy being married to your husband before his death? I believe my ma and pa were happy, but they’re the only couple I’ve been acquainted with except for Na’man who I told you about.”
Her eyes became watery as she spoke, “It was wonderful, Buck, the best years of my life. We had a few spats but nothing major. He’d do anything humanly possible for me, and I’d do the same for him. When a man and woman fall in love and get married, it’s as though they become one in their thoughts and desires.” She paused to wipe her eyes. “The bond and joy between a married man and his wife can’t be explained, Buck, unless you’ve experienced it.” He nodded and took another swallow.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Days passed and with it came sunshine and budding flowers. Except for the distant snow-capped mountains, the snow had melted. The barns were cleaned, and the manure spread on gardens that would soon be plowed and planted. It was a busy time for town folks as well as the surrounding ranchers, who were involved in roundups to brand and castrate their recently born calves. Flagstaff’s businesses were also busy receiving their supply of merchandise from back east for their spring and summer sales rush, and Grant and Smithy were working long hours at the livery replacing the horses’ worn-out winter shoes.
After a long day’s work at the livery in late April, Grant started a lively conversation with Buck as soon as he entered the boarding house, “We have a job to do tomorrow if you ain’t got plans, Buck.”
“What do ya’ have in mind? I don’t have anything planned.” Buck turned to Mrs. Stardom and asked, “Do you have something for me to do tomorrow, Mrs. Stardom?”
“We’re pretty much caught up with our garden and yard work,” she said with a pleasant smile. “I don’t know of anything that’s rushing.”
Grant started explaining. “We had an old-timer come in the livery today, telling us a large herd of buffalo is grazing in the prairie about fifteen miles east of here. I figure we can kill a two-year-old bull which, along with the pork we already have salted down in the smoke-house, should give us enough meat to last ’til late fall. Most likely there’ll be another run of buffalo come through about then. We’ll have to salt-down or smoke the meat to keep it from spoiling, but that won’t be hard to do, we have all of the supplies.”
“What about the Indians?” Buck asked. “Won’t they be after the buffalo?”
“If they’re around we’ll let ’em get their kill first. After they leave, we can step in.” Grant paused. “We’ll have to keep a keen watch.”
»»•««
Buck and Grant were five miles east of Flagstaff the next morning leading Bell and Mrs. Stardom’s buggy horse when the eastern sky was turning gray. At mid-morning, they started seeing buffalo manure piles and tracks heading south, which Buck and Grant judged to be a couple days old. They rode on, angling toward the edge of the tree-covered mountain for protection.
An hour or so past noon, they heard a faint rumbling and stopped. At first, both men thought it was thunder but after Buck looked skyward and saw nothing but a bright sun and a cloudless blue sky, he concluded, “That’s not thunder, Grant. The sky is perfectly clear. It sounds like a herd of stampeding cows.”
Grant turned his head and listened. “I believe you
’re right, Buck. It’s probably buffalo running to get away from Indians.” Buck nodded. The men rode deeper into the woods for more protection and headed toward the rumbling sound.
They were hiding behind a cluster of pine trees watching five groups of Indian men, scattered several yards apart, standing over their kills. Each group had cut an opening in their animal’s belly, pulled out its liver, and passed it around to each man who took a huge bite from it, causing blood to run down the corners of their mouths onto their cheeks and chin. After the men had eaten the livers, they mounted their horses and rode off leaving the remainder of the work for the women, who by now were running to the kills carrying large containers. It soon became obvious to Buck and Grant the women had done this job many times and were very efficient at it. The men watched them swiftly gut-out the animals, skin them, and cut up the carcasses, placing the meat into the large containers. It was a time-consuming process because every part of the buffalo was saved. Of course, the meat was the most important, but the hide or robe, as they called it, would be cured and used to keep people warm in the winter. Even the bones were used to make tools and other sundry items, and the internal organs and intestines were to be eaten.
While the men were watching from the trees, Grant casually asked Buck a question, “Buck, would you be willing to eat supper at the café tomorrow night? Margie has plans and won’t be able to cook.” It was the first time Buck had heard Grant refer to Mrs. Stardom as Margie and he was taken aback by it.
“When did you start calling Mrs. Stardom by her first name? It ain’t the proper thing to do unless there’s something going on between you two.” Buck looked at Grant whose face was turning a little red. “It was a slip of the tongue, Buck,” Grant said in an embarrassed tone.
“I don’t mind to eat out tomorrow, Grant, but what’s going on? What kind of plans does Mrs. Stardom have?”
“We’re going on a buggy ride and stopping for a picnic,” Grant said rather sheepishly. “I asked her a few days back, and she accepted.” He was looking toward the ground, but Buck was wearing a wide grin and raised eyebrows.
After the Indian women had filled their containers and left the area, Buck and Grant stayed inside the tree line waiting for the Indians to get well away from the site, and the buffalo to settle themselves. The running tracks led the men to the herd about four miles away where Grant killed a yearling male. The men soon had its four dressed quarters in sacks, two hanging on each pack horse, and were on their way home.
»»•««
The next morning Grant left early for the livery and Buck went to work on the buffalo carcass. By noon he had a front and hind leg salted down and lying on a smokehouse table. The two remaining legs and loin were being smoked. By the time Buck had washed up at the outside washstand and entered the house a few minutes after noon, Mrs. Stardom had two filled plates setting on the table. “I’ve fixed you a noon meal, Buck since I won’t be preparing your supper.”
“Thank you, ma’am. I wasn’t expecting it, but I’m obliged,” he said as chairs were pulled out. They sat eating in silence. In fact, Mrs. Stardom hadn’t smiled or said a dozen words to him all morning—she seemed troubled—like something was bothering her. Buck started, “I have a front, and hind leg salted down, Mrs. Stardom. The other legs and the loin are being smoked. I’m figuring that’ll be enough meat to last ’til winter gets here, especially with the pork we have.”
“Thank you, Buck. You can skip next month’s rent for payment,” she said with her eyes lowered toward the table.
Buck reached across the table for her hand—she looked up into his eyes. “Mrs. Stardom,” Buck said in a calming tone, “you’ll get your rent money. Killing that buffalo is the least I can do for all the kind things you do for me. And another thing, I know you’re worried at what I’m thinking about the buggy ride you and Grant will be going on this evening, but you shouldn’t be. I think it’s fine. You two are the nicest people I know and you both deserve companionship. If you recall, I even suggested something like that to you a few weeks back.”
“Thank you, Buck,” she said with a smile, “that means a lot to me, and I do recall your encouragement.” She hesitated. “After I accepted the outing with Grant, I started having feelings I’m being unfaithful to my husband, but at other times I feel like a young girl courting her first beau.” She paused again and said apologetically, “I also have thoughts you might be upset with me because Grant might be spending time with me and not as much with you.”
“Don’t worry about that, Mrs. Stardom. I’m glad you and Grant have feelings for one another. And another thing, I never met your husband, but I have a notion he’d want you to be happy.”
“Thank you, Buck,” and then with a twinkle in her eye, she said, “I wish you’d stop calling me Mrs. Stardom, it sounds so formal. I consider you to be a friend and hope you look upon me the same way and not some older woman who is to be called misses because of protocol. Please call me Margie.”
They were both wearing big smiles when they turned toward their plates filled with one of Margie’s delicious meals.
Chapter Thirty
Two months later papers were being drawn up for Grant’s purchase of the livery. He’d made arrangements to pay the owner twenty-five dollars a month until it was paid in full. But that wasn’t the main matter on Grant’s mind. He’d ask Margie to marry him and she had accepted—the wedding was to take place the last of June.
It was a modest church ceremony with only a few people present. Margie looked lovely in a light blue, western style dress with lace around the collar and down the front. Her hair was piled high with a small white flower at each temple. Buck was decked out in a black suit and white shirt with a string tie. Their smiles were contagious and seemed to never leave their faces.
As their hands were joined and the parson was saying the marriage vows, Buck had a strange feeling come over him. Why can’t this be my wedding? Why does it always have to be for someone else? Most men my age have already been married for a few years. Am I ever gonna find a girl to marry? Buck felt ashamed for having such negative thoughts, so he shook them off and tried to concentrate on the excitement and blessings of his two closest friends. However, when the parson said, “You are now man and wife. You may kiss your bride,” Buck, to his surprise, remembered the time Margaret kissed him in the barn at The Broken Bow ranch.
»»•««
Sitting alone at the table that evening over a bowl of warmed-over beans and a bacon sandwich, his thoughts went to his future. The next few months will most likely be a lonely time for me, since Grant and Margie will be busy doing whatever a man and his wife do when they’re first married. Of course, he’ll be busy at the livery, and she’ll be active with the boardinghouse guests who normally come this time of the year. Buck shook his head and whispered to himself, “They sure ain’t gonna have time for me.”
By the time his mind returned to the present, the kitchen was getting dark, so he lit an oil lamp, which illuminated things but also cast long dark shadows. He had never paid attention before to the solitude of the large house or its strange sounds and movements—the cracking and moaning it made from the outside wind, or the waving of curtains and the flickering of flames from the breeze coming through the windows. There had always been people present who distracted the house’s peculiarities, but now, except for him, the house was empty, which made the place a bit spooky. Buck finished his meal, poured himself a cup of coffee, and went to his room.
»»•««
Two weeks after the wedding, a man came into the café during Buck’s morning coffee break and announced the Atlantic Pacific Railroad Company would be hiring fourteen men to help survey the area for a suitable location to lay track. He indicated a signup table would be set up in the saloon on Friday morning.
This announcement got Buck’s attention. He needed to find a job. He’d been in Flagstaff since September and hadn’t earned a penny. He’d been frugal with his spending and still had over se
ven hundred dollars. Nevertheless, he felt his lifestyle was wasteful. Buck also felt a job would occupy his time and help fill the voids of inactivity, especially his afternoons when his bad dreams often occurred.
His original thinking that Grant and Margie’s marriage would lessen their involvement with him proved to be wrong. In fact, the activity around the boardinghouse had generally returned to normal.
When Buck got to the saloon on Friday three days later, there was a long line. He counted thirty-two men. A small man, wearing glasses with slicked down hair parted in the middle, a tailored suit and silk tie, sat across a table at the front of the line fumbling through a stack of papers. Minutes later he called the first man to approach the table. The man remained standing and answered an array of questions. It wasn’t long until the man left the saloon shaking his head in disappointment.
By now there were nearly as many men behind Buck as there was in front of him. One-by-one the men went forward. Some left with smiles and others left with frowns. It had been over an hour when the line moved forward leaving only four men in front of Buck. A big man dressed in worn, but clean western clothes, who looked to be in his forties, was in the process of being interviewed when Buck overheard the railroad man ask, “Your qualifications are in order and we’ll hire you, provided you can you read and write.”
