She gave me a hug and looked at me seriously. ‘You mustn’t let WC upset you. She’s not worth it. You’ve been acting really oddly ever since you met her. Like you have to prove something. And, believe me, you don’t, not to people like her. Me and Lucy have been really worried. It’s not like you. So, come on, splash your face and let’s get out of here.’
I did as I was told and reapplied my make-up, most of which had run down my face.
‘We’ll do a deal,’ said Izzie, applying some bright blue lipstick. ‘You go out there and show them how to have a good time. Get out on the floor and dance. And I’ll get up on stage and show them just how cool us Norf London girls can be.’
‘Deal,’ I said and we shook hands. ‘How are you feeling?’
Izzie stood up straight and put her shoulders back. Then she sank forward and leant against the wall. ‘I’m terrified, Nesta. Absolutely terrified.’
Then she got out a little bottle of something and swigged it back.
‘Izzie? You turning to drink?’
‘It’s larch,’ she said. ‘A Bach flower remedy for confidence.’
I love Izzie, I thought. Mad witch that she is.
As we went back into the hall, we saw that the first band had started up. Izzie disappeared backstage, so I went to join Lucy, who was talking to Simon.
‘Is everything all right?’ asked Simon, scrutinising me.
‘Yeah, cool,’ I said, then pulled him aside for a minute. ‘I have to ask you something.’
‘Looks serious,’ he said. ‘Shoot.’
‘Are you going out with me to upset your parents?’
Simon looked horrified. ‘Course not. Mum really liked you when you met her the other day. Why should it upset them?’
‘With me being, you know . . .’
‘What? Being what?’ he asked, then he stopped and looked at me closely. ‘Oh, I get it. Well actually, if I’m totally honest, I think Mum may be a bit upset. In fact, probably a lot . . . And so will Dad be when he meets you . . .’
Oh no, I thought. Cressida was right.
‘See, Dad’s going to be insanely jealous,’ continued Simon, ‘that I’m going out with the best-looking girl in London and he’s far too old to get a look-in. And Mum, for the same reason. Jealous. You’re naturally gorgeous and no matter how many facials or make-overs she has, she’ll never look as good as you.’
He wrapped me in his arms and gave me a huge bear hug. ‘OK?’
‘OK,’ I said. I could see Cressida out of the corner of my eye, looking daggers at me. Then she spotted Tony who had just walked in and was making a bee-line for Lucy.
She came over and hovered near us, hoping Tony’d notice her, but he only had eyes for Lucy.
I almost felt sorry for her as she desperately tried to get his attention and failed. She was standing all on her own. It was clear that Tanya wasn’t speaking to her either, as she stood a distance away with her back turned.
After a while, Tony and Lucy went on to the dance floor to dance and Cressida came over.
‘Who’s that girl all over Tony?’ she asked.
‘That girl is Lucy,’ I replied. ‘One of my best friends. I introduced you earlier. And if you look closely you’ll see that she’s not all over him. In fact, it’s the other way round.’
‘I seriously doubt that,’ said Cressida. ‘She looks like she’s hardly out of kindergarten.’
‘Like Tony, do you?’ I asked innocently.
‘He’s OK,’ she said, looking round. ‘Does he ever say anything about me?’
‘You’re kidding?’ I said. ‘He hasn’t stopped talking about you since he met you.’ It was true. He hadn’t stopped going on about how stuck-up he thought she was. I could see Cressida was dying to ask me more, but at that moment Tanya waved at me and indicated to meet her outside.
I followed her out into the alleyway down the side of the pub. She had a huge Mulberry bag with her out of which she drew a bottle of champagne, a carton of orange and some plastic cups.
‘Supplies,’ she grinned. ‘I brought it for me and Cress but, well, she’s a pain and I thought you might like some. Ever had a Bellini?’
‘No. What is it?’
‘Champagne and orange juice. Actually it should be peach juice but they didn’t have any at the offy. Want one?’
‘Sure,’ I said. I’d only ever had sips of wine before and I hadn’t liked it at all. It was like drinking vinegar. But I didn’t want to say no to Tanya when she was clearly making an effort to be friendly. And she had stood up for me before in the ladies’. A few sips would probably be OK, I decided. Specially if diluted with orange.
Tanya poured a beaker and handed it to me, then poured another for herself.
‘To new friendships,’ she said, as we slammed plastic cups and drank. Actually it was nice. Much better than the sour-ink taste of wine.The orange juice made it sweet and the champagne made nice bubbles that went up my nose.
‘Want another?’ asked Tanya.
I was beginning to feel game for anything. ‘Go on,’ I said and knocked back the second one.
A lovely giggly feeling came over me. I felt like the champagne, all bubbly and light.
‘Iz will be on soon,’ I said. ‘We’d better go back in.’
‘Right,’ said Tanya, slugging back her drink. ‘Lessgo.’
On the way back into the hall, I felt giddy and giggly.
‘Amazing,’ I said to Tanya as we walked back into the hall with linked arms. ‘Life can go up and down all in the space of half an hour. From misery to fun.’
Tanya hiccupped. ‘Yah. Know watchya mean. Shit to champagne kindathing.’
King Noz had just started up their set so I went to join Simon and Tony where they were standing at the back of the hall.
‘Where’s Lucy?’ I asked.
‘Gone to check on Izzie, I think,’ said Tony.
Lucy reappeared a few minutes later. She came straight over to me. ‘Izzie told me what WC said about you. Honestly, what a cow.’
‘A cow who’s after Tony.’ I said, then giggled. ‘She’s a cow and I’m a zebra. I told her that Tone fancied you and she was like, er, I doubt it. Like, not when he could have me.’
‘Oh, really,’ said Lucy, looking over at Cressida. ‘OK. Just watch this, then.’
Lucy walked over to Tony, who was talking to Cressida again. She was doing the flick-flicky thing with her hair and looking deeply into his eyes. Tony, on the other hand, looked like he wanted to escape. Lucy went over and slipped her hand in his and his face lit up like a Christmas tree.
‘Want to dance?’ she asked as King Noz started playing a slow number. Tony nodded happily and went on to the floor with her. She snuggled into him, put her arms round his neck and whispered something in his ear. He replied by giving her a huge smoochy snog. It went on and on. A real Oscar-winner.
Cressida’s jaw dropped open.
‘What was that you were saying about seriously doubting that Tony fancied my friend?’ I said casually.
Cressida turned on her heel and stomped over to Simon.
He looked over at me apologetically as she hauled him out on to the dance floor. Tanya came to stand next to me and when she saw no one was looking, she slipped me another beaker of Bellini.
‘Thanks,’ I said and knocked it back before anyone noticed.
Tee hee, I thought. It felt really good to be bad.
I watched Simon and Cressida on the dance floor. Neither of them were very good dancers. Simon was doing his best, which was a bit jerky, but Cressida – she was awful. She had no sense of rhythm at all.
‘Immobile Sloane,’ I said to Tanya, who looked at me quizzically.
‘Mobile Sloanes,’ I slurred, then remembered it had been Izzie who’d coined the phrase, not Tanya. Everything was a bit blurry.
‘I mean Porobello Prin . . . princess.Thassit. Pincesses.’
‘Are you OK?’ asked Tanya.
‘Never been better,’ I said. ‘Wanna dance
?’
If there was one thing I could do well, it was dance. I’d show these Mobile Sloanes how it was done, I thought.
After the band finished the slow number, I saw Ben go and take the microphone.
‘And now, ladies and gents, I’d like to introduce a new member of the band singing with us tonight for the first time. I’d like to introduce you all to the very lovely Miss Izzie Foster.’
He stood back to applaud as Izzie walked onstage. She looked fabulous and I cheered loudly along with everyone else. I felt so proud of her. S’my pal, I thought. Myverybestpal. Then the band started up and Izzie began to sing. Ben joined in with her for the choruses. They sounded wonderful. Really really great harmonies.
But no one was dancing.
People oughta be dancin’, I thought. Makes the band look berra for the recor’ company people. S’really important.
I decided I’d start them off. I’d do it for Izzie.
I made my way on to the dance floor, took off my shoes and began to sway in time to the music. My head felt like it was spinning a bit, but if I listened closely to the beat, I could flow with it. I felt so light on my feet.
After a while, I noticed that everyone was watching me. It was my moment in the spotlight so I really went for it. Spinning. Hopping. Moving with the grooving. I was a diva. Dancing. Diva dancing.Yeah.
Then I noticed Izzie up on the stage. She was still singing but she was looking at me kind of strange.
Then I noticed Lucy. She was looking at me, kind of mad.
She walked on to the dance floor and hissed at me. ‘Nesta. Go and sit down.’
‘Why? Tryin’ to gereveryone dancin . . .’ I slurred.
‘Everyone’s looking at you,’ said Lucy.
‘S’all right,’ I said,‘Un showin en how isdone.’
‘It’s Izzie’s moment,’ whispered Lucy urgently. ‘Not yours.’
She grabbed my wrist firmly and pulled me to the side of the dance floor.
‘Woz happening?’ I said. Everything seemed blurred and my mouth felt dry. I had a sudden urge to crawl under the table and fall asleep. ‘Whezevybudy?’
‘What’s the matter with you?’ asked Lucy.
‘Ballooni,’ I said. ‘Snice. Tanyanme. Owange juice and champy-ain.’
‘Oh no,’ said Lucy. ‘You’re drunk. Wait here. I’ll get Tony.’
I leant on my arm for a while and I must have dropped off as the next thing I knew Tony was nudging me. ‘Time to go home, kiddo.’ I looked over at the stage. King Noz were no longer playing.
I felt dreadful. I looked over to see where the others were and I could see Izzie, Ben and Lucy standing in the corner. They had their backs turned to me.
‘Oops . . .’ I thought as I remembered Izzie’s face up on the stage.
Tony helped me to my feet. ‘Come on, let’s get some fresh air.’
‘Where’s Simon?’ I asked as Tony put his arm round me and hauled me out to the pavement in front of the pub.
‘Last time I saw him, he was desperately pouring water down Tanya’s throat in an attempt to sober her up before their mum sees her and he gets the blame.’
‘Oh dear,’ I said. ‘We had Balloonees. Sorrysorry.’
The cool night air woke me up a little and my head began pounding. A sudden thought made me panic. ‘Is our mum here?’
Tony shook his head. ‘No. She phoned to say Mrs Lovering is coming to get us.’
‘Oh no,’ I groaned. ‘It will make Cressida’s night to see us all getting in that old jalopy of theirs.’
‘What does it matter what she thinks?’ said Tony as a brand-new black Mercedes drove by and stopped a hundred metres past the pub.
A short distance behind it, at the traffic lights, I could see Lucy’s mum’s Beede. I swear it was glowing in the dark like a giant turquoise insect. Oops! I thought. Those balloonees really were strong.
At that moment, Izzie came out and turned away when she saw me. She was followed by Lucy.
‘Sorry, sorry . . .’ I began.
‘Tonight wasn’t meant to be about you, Nesta,’ said Lucy, turning on me. ‘It was Izzie’s big night, but somehow you managed to get all the attention as usual.’
As usual? Suddenly I felt like I wanted to sit on the pavement and cry. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t my fault I’d drank the Balloonees. I was only trying to be friendly to Tanya who had stood up for me when WC had called me a zebra. Then she said Simon was too good for me.
I looked up the road at the dilapidated old banger approaching, then I looked at Cressida who was walking towards the black Mercedes with her nose in the air.
It was all too much.
I wanted to cry.
I wanted Simon.
But he only liked me when I was fun, didn’t he?
He was always saying how much he liked my attitude. My winning attitude.
He liked Fun Nesta. All Singing, All Dancing Nesta. He wouldn’t like All Crying Nesta, so I couldn’t let him see me now.
Tears were queuing up at the back of my eyes. I could feel them. I had to get away.
‘Tell Tony I’ve made my own way home, will you?’ I called to Lucy, who was standing with her arm around Izzie.
And with that I ran off towards the tube station as fast as I could.
Chapter 12
The next morning, when I woke up, I felt like someone had glued my eyelids shut in the night. Heavy, ukky. Finally I pulled them open and turned over to look at the clock by my bed.
Eleven thirty. I groaned as the room began to spin and I remembered The Night Before. Pants, I thought. Oh,pants.
How did I get home?
And who’s Riverdancing on my brain?
I could remember running away. I’d got round the corner away from the pub and stood by a brick wall to catch my breath. I remember that. I felt dreadful. All mixed up. I felt sick and I had to get home. Wanted Mum.
In the distance I could see a taxi with its light on. I was about to stick my hand out, when I remembered I hadn’t enough money. I’d spent it on stupid scratchcards and couldn’t be sure that anyone was home to pick up the fare.
I looked in my purse. A pound coin, three twenty pences and one five pence. Enough to get the tube at least.
I quickly made my way over to the tube station and past three dishevelled men swigging back cans of beer in a doorway. They stared at me as I hurried past.
‘Wanna play out, little girl?’ laughed one of them.
I kept my head down. This was the first time I’d been out so late on my own and I tried to remember what Miss Watkins had told us at school about travelling alone at night. That was it. Walk confidently and don’t make eye contact with anyone.
As I reached the tube entrance, I almost fell over a huddle by the ticket office. It was a boy all wrapped up in a sleeping bag. He couldn’t have been much older than me. In front of him was a handwritten sign saying, ‘Hungry and Homeless. Can you help?’ Next to him was a black dog. The two of them appeared so pathetic, as they looked up at me hopefully.
I went and got my ticket then put the rest of my change in the boy’s can.
‘Sorry,’ I blurted. ‘S’all I got.’
Then I made my way down to the platform. Luckily, I didn’t have to wait long for a train. Remembering rule two, don’t get into an empty carriage, I made for the centre of the train, which was full of people. I sat down and stared at the floor.
Some lads were sitting a couple of seats away. They were stuffing down hamburgers and the smell of onions and ketchup was inescapable. I felt like I was going to throw up.
‘Wanna bite of my hot dog?’ called one. All his friends started sniggering.
I kept looking at the floor. I wanted to cry. I wanted my mum.
I was out like a shot when we reached Highgate and I ran up the stairs and out into the lane outside the station. It was so dark. Black. Shadowy. What had possessed me to make my own way home? As I ran along the lane, I felt really frightened.
I
manoeuvred my bag so that it was over my shoulder diagonally. (Third rule of travelling alone, as it’s hard to snatch a bag from that position.) Then I found my house keys and put them in my jacket pocket (fourth rule, so that if your bag is snatched, at least you can get in your front door). Miss Watkins would be pleased I’d managed to remember so much of her lesson.
Then I legged it as fast as I could.
Everywhere looked menacing. The trees, cars going by, people in the street, they all looked shifty. My heart was thumping in my chest as I hurtled along the street and into our road and up the steps to our flat. I fumbled with the locks, then, at last, the welcome sight of house lights, the sound of the TV.
I was home.
Dad came out of the living-room. ‘Nesta,’ he said.
‘Dad,’ I said. ‘Brilliant.’
Then I threw up all over the hall.
Ah yes, it was all coming back to me as I lay under the duvet. I wondered how long I could stay there hiding. Somehow, I didn’t want to go downstairs. What a mess. Was there a way to turn back the clock? I wondered. Twenty-four hours? A week?
Everyone was mad with me. Dad. Tony. Lucy. Izzie.
And myself.
I looked around my bedroom and remembered the face of the homeless boy in the tube station. His eyes were so empty. He had nothing and I had everything. CDs, books, clothes, perfume, make-up, a computer, my own TV, a mobile – but most of all a home. A safe place to return to.
And what had I done for the last few weeks?
Think about myself non-stop and all the things I hadn’t got. All of it stuff I didn’t even really need. And where had it got me? Nowhere.
I had never felt so miserable in all my life. Izzie was right with her Ben the Buddhist stuff. Desire makes you miserable.
I won’t give in to another desire as long as I live.
I winced when I thought about Izzie. I’d ruined her big special night. She’d looked so beautiful and had been so brave getting up there, facing her private fear and singing and . . .
Mates, Dates and Portobello Princesses Page 9
