A Passionate Discovery (Self-Discovery Series)

by Brooke, T

  "Well I'm guessing since I've never really thought I had a sexual side it won't be hard for that to change." Laughing at herself seemed to make it easier to fight back the nervous tension brought on by what she was considering doing.

  They finally made it home, where they talked until just before dawn about things Carla had never before considered. By the time she finally fell asleep her mind was a confused mix of fear and anticipation. There was one thing she was certain of; she was going to agree to share ten nights with Jason.

  CHAPTER THREE

  Carla and Scarlett slept late, and then resumed their conversation over coffee. Some of the things Scarlett talked about both surprised and impressed Carla, who had only seen the physical part of the lifestyle in the dungeon.

  As Scarlett explained the other part of the lifestyle, she discovered that entering into a relationship in the lifestyle involved a lot of discussion and working out of details. They spent an hour going over the contract Scarlett had with Daniel.

  "So everything you're willing to do is written down?" That seemed cold and calculating compared to the passion of what she'd witnessed the night before.

  "No, honey, it's more like a list of things you're willing to try, and things you won't even consider. The Top, or Dom, that's the one in control, he uses the contract as a guideline so he doesn't do something that would leave you completely unwilling to submit to him again." Taking a sip of her coffee Scarlett watched her friend's face to see if she understood everything. She felt like she was talking to a child about sex and found it hard not to smile at some of Carla's reactions.

  "Okay, but I don't really know what any of this stuff is, so how would I tell him what I'm not willing to do?" For the first time in her life Carla wished she had even a small amount of the experience that Scarlett had, at least then she would have some idea about the things that were being described to her.

  "Well you can ask me about anything on this list, but in all honestly it would be better to discuss these things with Jason. Every master has their own way of doing things; he can explain his to you." Scarlett hesitated for a moment and then said what was on her mind. "I've got to be honest, hon; I think it would be better for you to experience plain sex before you think about doing this."

  "That's the thing, Scarlett, I've never really been interested in just sleeping with a man, or a woman for that matter," she confessed in a whisper, not wanting anyone to hear her, even though there was no-one around to do so. Her cheeks flushed a bright cherry red. "What I saw last night, well it excited me for the first time in my life." She wondered what that said about her own mentality, and laughed.

  "What?" Scarlett wasn't sure what was funny.

  "I was just thinking, a psychiatrist would have a field day over this, a virgin wanting to jump straight into leather and whips."

  Scarlett shook her head and giggled. "Well you waited so long to have sex, maybe subconsciously you think being tied up and fucked is easier than the normal fumbling around in the dark that most of us did as teenagers?"

  Carla took a sip of her lukewarm coffee and nodded as she analyzed her friend's words. "Maybe." The thought of what she was planning on doing that night really hit her then and she felt her stomach clench. "He won't hurt me, will he?" She lifted her eyes to Scarlett's, suddenly overcome by a fear she didn't understand.

  Putting her hand over Carla's, Scarlett met her gaze. "Not if he wants to live." She smiled to put her friend at ease. "Jason won't take any of this further than you are willing to go. If you tell him to stop, it will end immediately, and without hard feelings." If she didn't know that for certain she wouldn’t even consider letting her friend take up Jason's offer. "Sweetie this is all about trust; before you agree to anything you need to be sure you trust Jason, if you don't think you can do that then don't go through with it."

  Letting out the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding, Carla felt a little calmer. "So what's going to happen tonight?" If they had to negotiate things, as Scarlett had told her earlier, she wondered if that meant the ten nights wouldn't start until another time.

  "If I know Jason like I think I do, you guys will sit down and go over things for hours. After you've come to an agreement, or if you decide to walk out the door and say no thank you, you'll move on from there." She remembered well her first negotiation with Daniel. After their long debates about what she was willing to do, and what she wasn't, she had felt as if she'd bared her soul.

  It was likely to be worse for Carla she realized; at least she had known what she was willing to do in the bedroom when she started her negotiations. She couldn't imagine what it would be like to go into things as a complete innocent.

  Though she was a little disappointed that all they were going to do that night was talk, when she wanted so much to touch Jason, Carla was also relieved. She felt her nerves dissipate a little at the thought that she would find out more of what was going to happen, rather than just jumping in with things.

  "You've got it bad, girl." Scarlett laughed softly, shaking her head at the same time. It was definitely something, to see her friend, who was normally in such control of herself, so overwhelmed. "Why don't we go shopping and treat ourselves to a girl's day out? It’s on me."

  "That sounds like fun; we need to talk about what we're going to do next month too." They had to be out of the dorms in thirty days, and the job Carla had at the supply store on campus would be ending at the same time. The job didn't pay much, but it was her only source of income, and her nerves were strung tight as she thought about the future.

  "Well daddy has made our decision easier." She rolled her eyes at the thought of the condo she'd found the papers for in her mail slot that morning. "With all our talk about Jason, I haven't showed you something." Walking over to her purse she pulled out the papers and handed them to Carla with a shake of her head.

  "He bought you a condo!" Carla gasped as she looked at the contract and wondered why her friend wasn't happier about it. "Hell, Scarlett, I've been worried sick about finding a place; you should be jumping up and down for joy." She had never understood her friend's aversion to having her father cater to her every need. She knew they didn't have a real father/daughter relationship, but she would have been ecstatic to not have to worry about money.

  "Why were you worried?" Scarlett shook her head again. "You know I'd never leave you stranded, you're my best friend!"

  "You can't take care of me forever, Scarlett, and it doesn't feel right mooching off you like this." She loved her friend, but taking her charity was against everything she believed in.

  "Damn it, Carla, what the hell would I do without you? You've always taken care of me, this shit," she picked up the paper and waved it dismissively, "doesn't mean half as much as your friendship does, don't you get it?"

  "You don't ever have to worry about me not being here for you, Scarlett, but sooner or later I have to be able to stand on my own two feet." Crossing to her friend she leaned down to hug her.

  Scarlett hugged her back, pouring her heart into their embrace. Carla was the one person in her life that loved her for who she was, not for her money or her body. She had no idea how her friend managed to maintain a 4.0 grade point average while working a crappy job to pay her bills. "I can't stand the thought of us not living together, Carla, you're my rock."

  She pulled out of her friend’s arms and blinked back tears. They had leaned on each other so much over the last four years that she considered Scarlett family. Scarlett had never had to fend for herself before the two of them met, having been looked after by her family's servants, and it had just seemed natural for Carla to take over looking after her when they met.

  Scarlett had opened her eyes to a life she would have never known, and Carla had become like an older sister, doing all the things Scarlett didn't know how to do. "Love you, Scarlett." She smiled as she stood up.

  "Love you too, Carla. Now let's go shopping and get you ready to meet Mr. Hunk tonight!" She winked and grabbed her purse
.

  Carla grabbed her own purse and followed her friend out the door, thanking whatever fates had brought them together.

  As they reached the car Scarlett waved her father's gold credit card in the air. "Let's go blow some of Daddy's money." She had no issues spending his money when she wanted to, feeling it was her right since he couldn't even spare the time to show up for her college graduation.

  They spent the next four hours shopping and pampering themselves. Once they finished in the shops Scarlett dragged Carla to a beauty salon, where they got their hair styled, their nails done and their legs waxed.

  Carla had no idea if she had the nerve to wear the outfit Scarlett had bought for her; it was far more revealing than anything else she owned. She preferred her clothes to cover her body a little more. The outfit was definitely something new for her and as they walked back into the house, tired from their trip, she brought it up.

  "Are you sure this is what I should wear to um, negotiate." She took the dress from the bag and held it up, noticing again how little there was to the outfit.

  "That's absolutely what you're going to wear to meet Jason tonight, you'll have his libido on edge and he might go easier on you." At Carla's look of panic she laughed. "I'm kidding, honey, you're going to be just fine, and if you don't like what he has to say, then tell him thank you but you're not interested."

  Carla bit her lip until it bled as she nervously admitted, "I'm really scared, Scarlett."

  "Put your things away and grab a shower, honey, I'll be back in fifteen minutes, then we'll talk." Not giving Carla a chance to argue, Scarlett left the room and crossed the hall to her own dorm room. The dorms were all single person dwelling, but they might as well have been double-occupancy given how much time the two of them spent in each other's room.

  She could still remember the condescension in her father’s voice when she had told him she was going to live on campus. Denying him the right to house her then had given her great satisfaction; the condo he had bought her was his payback, he knew she couldn’t just ignore it because she needed somewhere to live.

  Carla hung the dress bag on the closet door and put the rest of her things away. With that done she stripped off and stepped into the shower. She washed herself meticulously, being careful not to get her hair wet. All the while her thoughts were on her upcoming meeting with Jason. Her stomach tied itself in knots, even though she was just going to talk to him.

  "Carla, unless you want to show up looking like a prune you need to get your ass out of the shower, you've been in there forever." Scarlett called out as she made herself at home in the kitchen, taking a diet coke from the fridge.

  Taking a deep breath to calm herself, Carla stepped out of the shower and dried off. Wrapped in a huge yellow bath towel, she joined Scarlett in the kitchenette. "Maybe this was a stupid idea, Scarlett." She gripped the towel tightly, both to stop it falling and to prevent her hands from shaking uncontrollably.

  "Do you want me to call him and tell him you've changed your mind?" She had never seen her friend so nervous.

  "No!" She hadn't meant to sound so vehement in her reply but the thought of not seeing Jason was as terrifying as actually going through with the meeting.

  Scarlett laughed aloud at her quick response. "So this is something you definitely want to do?" she asked, fighting to control her mirth.

  "Yes, no, oh hell, Scarlett I don't know what I'm doing here." Carla began pacing back and forth, unable to stand still. Her heart was still racing and she was confused as all get out.

  "Alright, enough debating for you, missy!" Walking around the counter Scarlett grabbed Carla's hand and led her through to the bedroom. "You're going to get that ass dressed, and at least go talk to the man." She rummaged in Carla's drawers, pulled out the new silk underwear they'd bought that morning and laid it out on the bed.

  Carla didn't even question her friend as she let the towel hit the floor and walked over to slide the panties on. She loved how the silk felt against her bare skin. While she did that Scarlett took the dress from the bag down and walked over to her.

  "Let's try not to mess up your hair." Holding the flimsy silk garment out, she carefully slid the dress over Carla's head, then lifted her long chestnut hair out of the small strap behind her neck that held it up.

  The sea foam green dress was completely backless, which meant it was impossible for Carla to wear a bra, and at the front it plunged deeply, just barely covering the tops of her perky breasts. Scarlett knew Carla would have Jason eating out of the palm of her hand the moment she walked through the door and he got his first glimpse of her.

  Pulling down the soft silk hem, Carla wished the dress covered a little more of her legs. She was only 5'2 yet it only fell a few inches down her thighs, covering her ass and nothing more; she couldn't imagine how someone taller could wear the dress without showing everything.

  She would never have bought anything so revealing if Scarlett hadn't insisted that it was perfect, and paid for it on her father's credit card before she could protest, and she felt more than a little self-conscious with so much of her body on display.

  "Stop tugging at it, you'll damage the material," Scarlett told her friend. "You are drop dead gorgeous, and Jason is going to die when he sees you tonight. Just relax." She had always thought that Carla reminded her of a baby doll, with her full lips and angelic features, but that look was completely altered by the dress. Now she looked more like a siren pixie with her expressive hazel eyes and her lower lip trembling in nervous anticipation. She had a perfect figure, with softly rounded thighs and a small waist and Scarlett had to admit she was more than a little turned on. "Sweetie, you look fucking hot."

  Carla blushed at her friend's remark. "I do not," she protested, turning her face away from the strange heated look in Scarlett's eyes.

  "If you weren't my best friend I'd show you just how damn hot you look." Scarlett winked and blew a kiss as her friend looked at her in shock, before crossing to the closet to take out a pair of strappy five inch heels.

  Trying not to think too much about the butterflies Scarlett's words set to flight in her stomach Carla attempted to lighten the mood. "I'll probably bust my ass before I make it up the stairs tonight."

  Not wanting to make her friend anymore uncomfortable than she already was, Scarlett pushed aside the thoughts of what she'd like to do with her friend. "You are not going to bust your ass, now slide these on and let's get your makeup sorted."

  Twenty minutes later Carla found herself looking at a stranger in the mirror. The makeup Scarlett had altered her features with wasn't overly done, it was just the right tone, and in Carla's opinion was perfect, there was no other way she could describe it.

  Her lips were outlined in a deep chocolate and filled with a soft shimmering brown, which made them appear fuller. Scarlett had also applied a charcoal color to her eyes and outlined them perfectly, making them stand out. Her cheeks were dusted with a soft peach color, which she hoped would help cover the blush that didn't seem to want to leave her face.

  After a moment, during which she admired her handiwork, Scarlett spoke up. "Okay, grab your purse; it's time to get you to the mansion." She was a little jealous that Jason was going to initiate her best friend into their world, but she wasn't about to bring that up just then.

  "You're taking me?" Carla was surprised; she'd assumed that she would be driving herself.

  "Of course. I know Jason, and I trust him, but you never meet a new Dom without a safety net." Grabbing her purse she ushered Carla out the door.

  Carla couldn't bring herself to talk during the drive; her nerves were strung too tight for conversation. She was grateful that Scarlett seemed to understand that and kept her eyes on the road, not bothering to try and draw her friend out. When they pulled into the mansion's drive Carla felt her stomach tense in fear once again. "I don't know if I can do this." She turned haunted eyes to her friend as the car came to a stop.

  "You can do this, hon, just remember
, your cell phone is in your purse. Call me in one hour to tell me you're okay, understand, and if you have any problems call me straightaway and I'll be right there." Scarlett leaned over to kiss her friend on the cheek. "Now get your ass in there and talk to the man." Pulling back she smiled as Carla opened the door and got out.

  Carla felt as though she was going to be sick, her stomach did somersaults as she shut the door with a feeble nod and forced herself to walk up the stairs.

  "Don't forget to call me in an hour," Scarlett called after her. "If you don't I'll be here with Daniel, pounding down the door."

  Ringing the doorbell she turned back to her friend. "I will," she called in return, waving timidly. She had never been so nervous or excited in her life.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  The door was answered by the same butler who had opened it on her previous visit and Carla smiled nervously, feeling like her mouth was filled with cotton. Tugging at her dress she entered the mansion as the butler held the door open.

  She was glad he didn't speak to her; at that moment she was sure she couldn’t have answered him if her life depended on it. She had to fight the urge to turn and dart back through the door before it closed; an urge which only faded when she heard the click of the door catch and realized it was too late for her to leave.

  Since she couldn't leave, without making a total fool of herself, she followed the butler as he led her up a long flight of stairs. They didn't stop until they reached Jason's study, where the butler held open the door for her to enter.

  Jason stood as Carla entered, his eyes widening at the delectable sight she made, standing there trembling like a virgin sacrifice, which he thought was a good description for her. "That will be all, Franklin." He dismissed the servant, his eyes on the angelic creature he hoped would soon be under his command.

  He waited until his butler had shut the door, leaving the two of them alone, and then he crossed the room to take Carla's hand in his own.