A Passionate Discovery (Self-Discovery Series)

by Brooke, T

  There was no time for her to wonder what the tape was going to be used for; she had no sooner identified the sound than she found out. While her assailant kept her arms stretched above her head and gripped both her hands in one of his, he wrapped the tape around her wrists, winding it around and around until she couldn’t separate them.

  Abruptly the hand that was holding hers let go and she was rolled onto her back. She had no chance to take advantage of her mouth being unblocked however, she barely had time to realize it was before tape was shoved over her mouth and clamped into place, once again robbing her of the ability to be heard.

  Carla tried to swing her arms down to hit her attacker but he caught her wrists before she could land the intended blow. The next thing she knew he had produced the tape again and had her secured to the headboard. While he was doing that the lower half of her body was free, and she took advantage of that, bending herself almost double so she could lash out at him with her legs, attempting to kick or knee him.

  She managed to land a few blows, though they did little to stop him. She even tried to bend herself far enough to rip the tape from her mouth with her toes, though in that she failed miserably; despite her best efforts she couldn’t get her feet anywhere near her mouth.

  There was a low chuckle from her attacker when he realized what she was attempting to do, a chuckle that sounded vaguely familiar, and then he grabbed her left foot. Effortlessly he straightened her leg out and held it still as he secured her ankle to the foot of the bed, though in the process he suffered a couple of good solid kicks to the back of the head, once Carla figured out where to aim her kicks.

  When her other ankle was taped and bound to the bottom of the bed as well, Carla’s panic went into overdrive. She was helpless, and could barely move her body at all, let alone fight against her restraints, and she found herself hyperventilating.

  The feel of fingers tracing their way up her thigh had Carla twisting and writhing within her restraints, desperate to throw off the fingers, to close her thighs and prevent what she knew was about to happen. She could do none of that however, her spread-eagled position on the bed prevented it, all she could do was scream and moan and whimper into her gag as the monster over her thrust his long fingers into her core.

  Even on the occasions Jason had penetrated her anally she hadn’t felt as violated as she did then; she could have stopped Jason any time she wanted. This though, this violation she couldn’t stop; she couldn’t fight her attacker off and her cries and pleas for help barely made it past the tape covering her mouth.

  If her assailant could hear her pleas then he was of no mind to heed them, he continued to thrust into her dry sheath with brutal force, leaving her raw as she continued to writhe and twist to try and avoid his invading fingers. After a minute or so she felt his hand, the one not penetrating her, press down on her hips, holding her still as he cruelly finger-fucked her.

  Without warning the tormenting digits slowed their relentless thrusting, and with an agonizing deliberateness that was almost worse than their previous frenzy began to slide in an out of her. She knew with a clarity beyond her own experiences that he had changed tactics to try and make her enjoy the evil act he was forcing upon her; if had been possible she would have reached up and torn his eyes out.

  The hand on her hips didn’t hurt, but it was applying enough pressure to ensure she remained still and all she could was lie there, tears streaming from her eyes as her body responded, against her will, to the manipulations of the man over her. The thought that her body wanted what he was doing to her, that it desired the contact, wanted it to continue, worse, it wanted more than just his fingers, was more humiliating than the thought of him taking her brutally by force, regardless of what her body wanted.

  No! No! No! She cried out from behind the tape that bound her mouth, hating the wetness she felt between her thighs.

  Suddenly the fingers withdrew and the figure leaned close to her, his mouth next to her ear, his hand on her mouth. “I’m going to fuck you so hard and deep you’ll scream the house down, sweetheart,” he whispered, pulling the tape away, and leaning in to kiss her.

  Carla recognized the voice instantly and her eyes widened in shock, she couldn’t believe who had attacked her and bound her hand and foot and been about to do ‘that’ to her, it just wasn’t possible. For several long moments, moments that seemed to stretch into eternity, she found herself frozen in disbelief, unable to do anything but lie there as he kissed her unresponsive mouth.

  Finally she came to her senses and twisted her head away, forcing their lips apart. “Get off me you son of a bitch!” she screamed, bucking and heaving in frenziedly, trying to throw his body off hers.

  “Calm down, Carla, it’s me, it’s Jason.” He tried to calm her, reaching over to turn on the lamp that sat on the nightstand.

  Carla couldn’t believe he thought she would calm down just because it was him who had bound and gagged her, and acted like he was going to rape her, rather than someone else. “I know who it is you fucking asshole, now get the fuck off me!” she screamed again.

  “Carla, calm down, you’re going to hurt yourself.” Jason continued to speak calmly to her, as if she was panicking over nothing.

  Calm down! How could she calm down? Calming down was the last thing she wanted to do just then, she wanted to get free so she could show him just what she thought of his latest stunt. She wanted to claw his eyes out, scratch his face, knee him in the balls, anything to make him feel some of the pain she was feeling just then; only blood would satisfy her, she thought. The moment she thought of blood it came back to her, the safe word, the word she could use to tell him everything was not alright and she wanted it to end, the word he had given her right at the start, before the ten nights had begun. How could she have forgotten it? She felt so stupid.

  “RED!” she screamed out at the top of her lungs. “Red, you fucking asshole, red!”

  He moved off her as he’d been struck, the look on his face revealing that he knew then he’d gone over the edge of anything she could deal with. “I’m going to untie you, sweetheart,” he spoke soothingly.

  “Do it, quickly!” She was shaking in anger and fear, her chest heaving from everything. She forced herself to take deep slow breaths to try and calm down but it didn’t work, it was going to be a long time before she felt calm again, she thought.

  He cut away the tape that bound her ankles and then reached up to release her wrists. The moment he did she rolled away from him and off the bed, hurrying across the room to the chair where she’d put her dress. He could see the panic in her eyes as she turned to watch him warily while pulling on her clothes. “Sweetheart, calm down, we need to sit and talk about this.” Getting off the bed he took a few slow steps toward her, not wanting to scare her any further.

  Looking from the knife in Jason’s hand to his still hard cock, and then up to his face Carla took a step back, fear on her face, and almost tripped over the chair behind her. “Don’t you fucking come near me. I swear, if you do I will scream this house down.” She hoped his servants didn’t ignore everything they heard because she damn well planned on getting out of there.

  “I won’t touch you, sweetheart, honest, just calm down.” Realizing he was still holding the knife he had used to cut her free he tossed it behind him onto the bed. He was surprised by her reaction to the situation, he hadn’t thought she would respond the way she had, the other women he’d done it with had panicked initially but then gotten into the spirit of it and really enjoyed the scenario, the final surrendering of control.

  He was sure if he could just get her to calm down she would realize he would never have hurt her; that it was meant to be something she would enjoy.

  Carla slipped her dress over her head, not taking her eyes off Jason for any longer than was absolutely necessary as she fumbled for her shoes and pulled them on, without bothering to locate her socks. She didn’t trust him, didn’t think she’d ever be able to again; anyone who coul
d do what he had was not someone she wanted to be around.

  Grabbing up her purse she made for the door, skirting the room and staying as far away from him as she could. She kept her eyes on him the whole way so she ended up backing toward the door. “Don’t fucking call me, or ever try to get in touch with me again,” she told him. “I don’t ever want to see or hear from you again, you fucking freak!” She finally turned her back on him when she reached the doorway and stepped through it. Her heart was broken beyond repair and she wished she had the strength to kick his ass like he deserved.

  “Carla, sweetheart, be reasonable, you can’t drive like this.” He caught up with her just before the stairs and took her by the arm, turning her back to face him. He couldn’t believe how horribly wrong the night had gone and the thought of her walking out of his life was tearing him up.

  “Don’t you dare call me sweetheart, you sick son of a bitch.” Pulling her arm from his grasp Carla poked him in the chest with her finger. “You seriously need some fucking help, you’re mental, Jason Portland.”

  Turning away she took off running as tears streamed down her face, nearly falling in her haste to descend the stairs. If he tried to stop her she swore she’d grab the nearest object she could find and smash it over his demented head.

  Jason followed, but didn’t try to stop her again. He was terrified she was going to hurt herself in her current emotional state. She didn’t look back and he could only assume she didn’t know he was following her. He wanted to beg her to let him drive her home, but realized she was past any rational thought.

  When he saw her get behind the wheel of the canary yellow sports car he had given her and speed off he did the only thing he could think of, he hurried to the garage and got into one of his own cars to give chase. He slowed down once he caught up to her and from that point he merely kept her in sight, wanting to make sure she made it safely to wherever she was going.

  Carla knew she shouldn’t be driving the way she was, it was reckless and dangerous, but she didn’t care, all she could think about just then was getting home. The clock on the dashboard told her it was past three in the morning, idly she realized that meant the streets would be emptier, making her reckless driving a little less dangerous.

  Turning on the radio she cranked up the volume, attempting to drive away thoughts of how Jason had betrayed her in the worst way possible. Blinking away the tears that blurred her vision she did her best to focus on the road ahead.

  How she made it to the condo building without crashing she would never know, but she did, and parking the car she ran inside. Wishing that Scarlett was there she let herself into the condo, locked the door behind her and dropped to the floor, where she cried helplessly.

  Seeing that Carla had arrived home safely, for which he was grateful given the way she had been driving, Jason turned his car around and left the parking lot of her new condo complex. He had kicked himself mentally for what he had put her through the whole time he had been following her, and he continued to do so during the drive home.

  He had played through the scenario with other women in the past, but only after being very sure that they would be alright with it. He had debated whether to go through with the faux rape all evening before heading home, and several times he had decided to abandon it. In the end though something had made him continue with his plan, and until then he hadn’t known why he did.

  After thinking about it during the drive there he thought he had figured it out. A part of him had wanted to punish Carla for the feelings she had stirred within him, feelings that threatened to turn his world upside down, feelings that he was unprepared to deal with.

  Now he realized that what he had done was stupid, more than that, it was the single stupidest thing he had ever done, or was ever likely to do. Worse than that, he now knew that he loved Carla, and all he could think was that the knowledge had come to him too late to stop him pushing things so far that he might never see her again.

  “Stupid ass stubborn son of a bitch!” he swore aloud, slamming his hand down on the steering wheel. “I wouldn’t blame her if she called the police.” Expecting the worse as a result of his foolishness he headed home to prepare himself should Carla decide to do as he feared.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  Carla remained curled up on the floor just inside the condo, weeping; she didn’t have the strength of will to get up. As tears streamed down her face to spill onto the carpet beneath her she found herself replaying each night with Jason in her mind, it was like watching a horror movie when she couldn’t find the remote control to stop it.

  Her heart ached as she realized that Jason had never truly given a damn about her, he’d made her believe he did but Scarlett had been right, he didn’t. She’d never been a violent person, right then though she wanted to rip his balls off and shove them down his throat. At the same time she wanted to run back to him and beg him to take away the horrible emptiness that made her feel like nothing would ever be right in her life again.

  Why did she have to fall in love with the one man in this world that was so screwed up he could never give her what she needed? Was she so fucked up that she could only find passion with a demented asshole whose idea of a good time was to hurt people, and who only knew how to show affection by destroying her mentally?

  Lost in her own mental hell she didn’t notice the arrival of her best friend, she was aware of nothing as she sobbed, attempting to wash away the misery that filled her.

  Scarlett and Daniel walked into the condo laughing, having had a great evening, only to be silenced by the sight of Carla curled up on the floor, sobbing. She was so absorbed in her misery she didn’t hear them come in; she didn’t even hear them when they asked her what was wrong.

  Carla didn’t react to their presence until Daniel lifted her into his arms; when he did that she fought him like a wild animal, desperate to be free. Finally he had to set her down again, just where he had picked her up from. She didn’t calm down, even slightly, until Scarlett slid to the floor next to her and laid her friend’s head in her lap, stroking her hair gently.

  Daniel had no idea what had caused Carla’s misery, but he knew she had been at Jason’s so he rang his friend to find out what the hell had happened between them. It didn’t take Jason long to recount his foolishness, though he was initially reluctant to do so.

  Always before Daniel had considered his partner and friend a sensible person, if a little extreme in his application of the Dom/Sub lifestyle, but what he heard just then left him wondering about his mental state.

  When he was told the state his stunt had left Carla in Jason insisted on coming over, despite Daniel’s insistence that he stay away, that his presence could only make things worse. Daniel knew Jason was not one to be ordered around, and even after all the years they had known each other he wasn’t inclined to listen to advice, no matter how sensible.

  Eventually Daniel had to threaten his friend with the police in order to convince him to stay away. He was half tempted to call them anyway, seeing the state Carla was in, but decided to wait.

  Disgusted with the situation, but satisfied that his friend wasn’t going to turn up unexpectedly, Daniel hung up on Jason and immediately dialed another number. Knowing what had happened he realized that the best thing he could do for Carla was call a friend from the dungeon scene.

  His friend was a psychiatrist, which made her the obvious choice to call for help.

  Sylvia, the psychiatrist, made it to the condo in just under an hour, responding hastily to Daniel’s urgent plea for assistance. She had seen many things in her profession, but the state of the young woman she had been called to see shocked her.

  “I think someone needs to start talking,” she said, infuriated by Carla’s state. Not only was she infuriated she was perplexed, especially after listening to Daniel recount the scene as Jason had explained it to him.

  As a psychiatrist she had seen rape victims respond as Carla was during her emergency room visits, but she
had never known a lifestyle person to respond with such psychosis. “I have to admit I am mystified by her response. Wasn’t this scene discussed in contracts?” Sylvia asked.

  Scarlett, who was still holding Carla in her arms and stroking her hair like a child, spoke up. “She was new to the lifestyle. She was actually a virgin until she and Jason first met. They had decided to use safe words instead of a contract until Carla knew more about what her limits were.”

  “So am I to assume he took a complete innocent, not just an innocent in our lifestyle, but one with no sexual experience whatsoever, and threw her straight into something like this?” She couldn’t believe that someone as experienced in the lifestyle as Jason Portland would do something like that, it was beyond her understanding. She had thought he had more sense than to do something so stupid, and more importantly she’d thought he only got involved with people who were already part of the lifestyle.

  Scarlett nodded; it was only the need to remain calm as she soothed her friend that kept her temper at bay. If it hadn’t been for Carla’s presence she would have let loose and given vent to what she thought of Jason Portland and his stupidity, which he had demonstrated repeatedly during his ten nights with Carla.

  “It doesn’t take a professional to see your friend is in shock.” Sylvia shook her head, attempting to maintain her professionalism. She resolved to have a long discussion with Jason about his decision to involve an innocent in such an extreme example of the lifestyle, just as soon as she had an opportunity to do so.

  Opening her eyes Carla looked around; seeing the people surrounding her she closed her eyes and sighed deeply. She hadn’t meant to lose it so badly, though it was clear she had from the way Scarlett was holding her like a child and Daniel and some strange lady was looking at her with concern in their eyes. “What happened?” she asked. She kept her eyes closed for a moment longer before willing them open.