by H. M. Ward
Eric ignored her, turning back to the bar, trying to access if there were more Valefar outside. He wanted to make sure she was safe, and the best way to do that was for it to appear that they weren’t together. Glancing at her over his shoulder, he watched Natalia try to exit, pushing her way past Mandor, but the Valefar didn’t move. Shit.
Mandor glanced at Eric, deep voice booming, “Your tastes don’t change.” He grinned a bright smile at Eric, but there was malice behind it. There was always malice when it came to Valefar.
Eric’s expression remained unaffected. He glanced at Natalia, his eyes tracing her face and sliding down the curves of her body in a completely carnal way. Heat rose to her face, making her blush, which seemed to piss her off. Eric grinned and she looked away, back at Mandor blocking her path.
The heat still burned in her cheeks. What the hell was that? Eric never looked at her like that before, and she certainly didn’t expect to respond that way. Natalia glanced at the man blocking her path wondering what was happening, wondering what he wanted with Eric. She didn’t want to leave. Eric was her kill, and she wouldn’t just hand him over to be slaughtered by someone else. But Natalia had seen Eric fight and knew it was more likely that he’d win.
Eric leaned against the bar, folding his hands casually and replied, “She’s not with me.”
Mandor, smiled, amused. Reaching for the girl, he took her by the shoulder. Natalia tried to shake him off, but he tightened his grip. “Is that so?” Eric nodded. Mandor smiled, his eyes drifting over her curves, “So, you wouldn’t mind if I took her with us, used her like the Queen’s sister, and tossed her aside?” Natalia stiffened. She heard the stories of the Queen’s sister. She knew Eric’s involvement in that as well. Her mind was reeling. She couldn’t show them what she was capable of. Not here. Not now. It would blow her cover and screw everything up. The only chance she had of killing Eric was if he didn’t suspect her. This Valefar was about to force her to reveal a secret she managed to keep from Eric for three years. Rage shook her body, but they only thought she was trembling. They saw her as an insignificant piece of ass.
Eric’s golden eyes were hard, lifeless. He locked onto her gaze, forcing his tongue to say the words frigidly, “Like I said, she’s not mine, so I don’t give a fuck what you do to her.” He turned his back on them, gesturing for another drink, but the bartender was out of sight.
Natalia’s eyes burned, but Eric didn’t look away as he spoke. This was the bastard she knew—the man responsible for slaughtering her mother. Rage ignited in every muscle in her body. Without warning, Natalia was in motion. She transformed from the poor little victim to a fierce fighter, trying to hold her body in check so her power wouldn’t give her away. Natalia fought the way Eric taught her. She twisted in Mandor’s grip, while she blocked his hands, keeping her body out of reach and freed herself.
She growled, “I don’t belong to anyone, asshole.” He towered above her like a dark wall of muscle.
Mandor laughed, amused by her ferocity. “All the more reason to catch you, then.” Without warning, he reached for her, but Natalia jumped back on top of the bar. It wasn’t unreasonable for a human to jump like that, but she didn’t have time to consider if her movements seemed human or not. The Valefar was still after her. Mandor’s arm shot out, reaching for her ankle. The thick muscles under his dark skin rippled as his hand lurched forward to trap her, but Natalia altered her footing quickly and kicked her heavy black boot straight into his face. The sickening crunch of a broken nose was felt on impact.
Natalia bolted down the top of the bar, muttering, “Dick,” as she passed Eric.
Mandor lunged for her, but the lithe girl slipped between his fingers. She contorted her lean body, moving quickly through the caved-in storefront and was out of sight before the Valefar could catch her. Mandor cracked his nose back into place and turned toward Eric with blood dripping down his face. Eric knew the Valefar was here for him, but he had no intention of going. The bastard would drag him back down into the Underworld and there was no way he was doing that. Not yet. It was too soon.
Eric moved toward the door, leaning hard against the frame. The girl moved well. She didn’t hesitate. Natalia didn’t hold back. He nearly laughed when she cursed at him as she ran down the bar. That girl was trouble, he just didn’t know how much.
Mandor wiped the blood off his face with the back of his hand, before saying, “The Queen summons you.”
“Tell the Queen to...” he was going to say something nasty, but thought of Ivy and the words died in his mouth. He pressed his eyes closed, and opened them again, staring at Mandor with a grin on his face. He could feel the effonation burning under his skin. Unlike his fellow red Valefar, he had more power than them. Call it a side-effect of being him, the only golden Valefar. As his form shimmered, Mandor realized what was happening and lunged at him.
Laughing, Eric said, “Tell the Queen to kiss my ass.”
CHAPTER FOUR
Eric didn’t need to be eloquent. He knew his message would never reach Ivy’s ears. He also knew the time he had left was limited. There were still several Tribunal members he needed to visit. A sadistic smile spread across his lips as he moved through a pile of rubble. There was a voice in the back of his mind warning him—no, telling him—that if he continued on this path he would lose what he had. Eric scoffed, shoving his hands in his pockets. He had nothing left. He had no one. There was no reason to breathe. His boot kicked a patch of plaster that was still attached to a rafter. The impact shattered both into tiny pieces. Displays of rage were fruitless. They did not calm him as they once did. Instead, the residual effects of the emotion lingered in his body, forcing him to act out later when he didn’t want to.
Eric had made his decision. His fate was all but sealed. Intentionally taunting the Queen of the Underworld, the only person who had enough power to destroy him, was cruel. Ivy was his friend and he knew what he was forcing on her, but there was no other way out. The cravings were growing within him, consuming him. There was more monster than man residing inside him. With the curse constantly changing him, making it so he never had peace, he could see the path he was on. There was only one way to get off, and that was death. He’d be destroyed and the curse would end. There was one part of his plan that was undetermined—Eric didn’t know if Ivy was capable of killing him.
Since he saw Ivy last, he had tried to kill himself several times. Once he even sought out the Omen, the massive black dragon that destroyed everyone who touched it. Eric didn’t touch the Omen—he stabbed the beast—but to no avail. The creature snapped at him, biting his shoulder with deadly teeth and swiping at him with razor sharp talons. The only thing the creature managed to do was make its wound hemorrhage more, leaving a pool of clear blood next to Eric. Beaten, but very much alive, Eric took the Omen’s spilled blood and saved it in a vial. Magic that dark and powerful had no effect on him, but he thought that he might be able to use it later. And he did. The clear drops of blood were deadly to everyone, everything—except him.
Eric moved into the inhabited section of Rome, swiftly walking into a store and selecting a snack. He wasn’t hungry, he just wanted something familiar. He waited his turn in line, like he wasn’t a deranged monster and ordered. When Eric turned around, food in hand, he saw her. Arms folded over her chest, pissed off, tapping her boot.
“Seriously? You ditched me to eat?” Natalia said, her head cocked to the side. Her black shirt had a small tear in the side from climbing through the rubble. Her long dark hair was down, flowing over her shoulders like spilled chocolate.
Eric paused. He wanted to feel something good—something normal. He could let her stay. He didn’t have to be mean to her, not since he wouldn’t be around much longer anyway. Would it hurt her? Would the curse still condemn her to death if he was already dead? He didn’t think so. The power that destroyed should die with him. Besides, pushing her away wasn’t working very well. Eric glanced at her, his amber eyes sliding over her
face as he bit into a thin sandwich, “Maybe.” He smirked at her.
Natalia trailed after him out of the store on his heels. “You are such an ass!” She stopped following him. Her legs felt like they filled with iron, or maybe that was resolve. Either way, she wasn’t going to trail behind him like a love-struck puppy. Her arms clamped down tightly over her chest.
Eric turned, glancing at the swells of flesh hidden beneath that tight shirt. His gaze flicked quickly to her eyes. Natalia didn’t notice that he had trouble not admiring her curves. The softness of her flesh was enticing, but he knew why he favored her—why he let her follow him. It was exactly what Mandor said, she was his type. She reminded him of Ivy, of Lydia, of a time when he was someone else—someone better. There was no harm in that, right? It meant he could be near her and do what he wanted, but part of him held back, pushing her away.
Part of him knew she was Natalia and very different. Her body was taller, her curves were fuller, and her bite was harder. When Natalia was mad, she let him have it. And by the look on her face, Eric knew she’d had enough. This was a turning point. If he told her to fuck off, he’d never see her again. His eyes slid over her body before he stepped toward her. Eyes lowered, he looked up at her through his lashes, and held out the food. His voice was soft, “Here.”
Natalia glanced down at the insanely expensive snack and reached for it. Eric glanced up at her and smiled sadly. When her fingers brushed against his, she felt something that unnerved her. Her crystal blue eyes looked away, back down at the treat in her hands.
“Sorry about before,” he said quietly. “If they knew I cared about you, they’d hunt you down. It was better to let them think that you didn’t matter to me.”
Natalia glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. He cared about her? It felt like someone dropped ice down her spine. She tried to act like it didn’t matter; she tried to think this softness wasn’t him. This was the false Eric. This was the guy that drove her crazy because he made her doubt herself. She nodded slowly, pretending to be something she was not, “So that stuff you said, before? It was just a bunch of crap to get me to leave?”
Eric stopped and turned to her. Natalia held the sandwich loosely in her hands, her gaze meeting Eric’s. His lips wanted to move and say two different things. He blinked slowly at her. It was like time was frozen. Finally he said, “Something like that,” and they continued walking shoulder to shoulder down the street. He watched her eat, and realized she must be hungry. He wondered if her food stores had been depleted, but knew better than to ask her. He’d have to go by her place and see for himself.
Natalia felt happy for a moment. The simplicity of walking with someone and eating something that was once so common brought back a flood of memories of happier times. Her dark lashes were lowered, her eyes looking down as she spoke, “You make me crazy, you know that?” She shook her head. Eric glanced at her, appearing apathetic, but she wondered if he was acting, pretending like she was. She didn’t want to cause his mood to shift, but she had to know, “You only seem to run hot or cold. There’s nothing in the middle for you, is there?”
Eric grinned, “Hot? When have you seen hot?” He tried to hide the laughter in his voice, but he knew damn well that she hadn’t seen hot. He kept that part of himself hidden from everyone, especially her.
Natalia looked over at him, “Then what’s this?” She laughed lightly, shaking her head. “Awh, I’m so screwed. You only have two modes: I hate you and I hate you more!!” She wasn’t entirely kidding, and didn’t expect him to respond the way he did.
His voice was deep, his eyes gazing at the little lines in the pavement. “I just want to protect you, Nat.”
“From what?” she stopped talking, her heart beating with a deep rhythm that scared her.
Glancing up at her, he asked, “Isn’t it obvious?” His pulse thundered in his ears. What was he doing? Eric knew he shouldn’t go down this road with her, but he couldn’t stop. Maybe he was selfish. Maybe it was because he’d be gone soon, but he dropped his guard. He put away his barbed words and just enjoyed walking with her, hearing her voice and responding the way he would have if he was still himself, and not the desperate monster that crawled under his skin. “From me.”
“I already know what you’re capable of. I’ve seen it.” This was the man that confused her. There was a softness in his voice, in his eyes that didn’t belong there.
“Natalia…” he stopped walking. She took another step before turning. Her lips were parted like she was surprised. He ran his hands through his hair. “You don’t know all of it.”
His voice was so shaken. It felt like someone pulled all the air out of her lungs in one tug. “I don’t need to. I know enough to see that this part of you, this—whatever it is—is something that you keep hidden. I just don’t understand why.”
Eric’s lips parted, as he looked at her, trying to find the right words but there were none. Finally, he answered, “Because it’s the least of me. It’s deceptive. It’s not who I am.”
“It’s what you could be.”
“No,” he shook his head, his eyes even more haunted than they were before, “it’s what I was, but I’m not that man anymore. He’s gone, Nat. The guy that saved you a few years ago is gone. It doesn’t matter what I want. If the same situation happened today—“
She held up her hand, her face pinching in anger, “Don’t say it. You know damn well that you’d do the same thing!”
Sadly, Eric shook his head, knowing in his heart that he wouldn’t. “That’s what you don’t want to see. That’s what you can’t admit—that I’d let them have you—I’d watch them destroy you.” Eric’s chest felt hollow, like he’d spilled his guts and now he was empty. There was no good man left inside of him.
Natalia stepped toward him, “If you think that, then you don’t know yourself anymore.” He started to interrupt, but she held up her hand. “I know you’re a lot more fucked-up than most people, but Eric… that’s not who you are.”
Maybe she was right. Maybe she could tell how hard it was for him to keep hold of his old self. The blood-thirsty sadistic side of him was warring within him even then. He wanted to take her, hurt her, make her cry out and bask in her fear, but Eric kept his hands in his pockets. He wouldn’t touch her. He’d never touch her.
He asked the question that plagued him, the one he dreaded answering, “Then who am I?”
Natalia saw the softness in his eyes, vulnerability as rare as a kind word was spread across his face. She felt pulled to him when he was like this. Whatever was happening to him, she could feel him at war with himself. He was too hard on himself to see what he truly was, but she knew. And that’s why she hadn’t acted yet. She breathed deeply, shaking her head as if she were astounded he couldn’t see it. “You’re a good man who has done a lot of bad things.”
Eric let her words sink in. His tongue wanted to slash at her and say things to make her retreat, but he kept his mouth shut. He wished he knew what she was thinking when she looked at him like that. There was sadness in his gaze, an uncertainty that she wore like a mask. It was only present when he was kind to her, which was rare. But right then, in that moment, he couldn’t ignore the ache in his chest anymore. Turning away, he started walking again, Natalia at his shoulder. “So much more than you know.”
CHAPTER FIVE
Eric spent the rest of the day with Natalia and left her at sunset. The pain that carved his body into an evil man, was assaulting him. The effects of Julia’s blood couldn’t tide him over. He needed more. It made him blind to the fact that Natalia seemed to have somewhere to go. She practically ran into her house to get away from him. He assumed that his mood was returning to fowl, so she wanted to part on a good note. He had no idea Natalia wasn’t that innocent and it would blindside him later.
Natalia slammed the door behind her, breathing hard. She didn’t understand. How could Eric be like that? How could he be so sweet one moment and murderous the next? She banged her
head against the door. If she didn’t find that damn book soon, she was screwed. The fabled book had the list she needed, and it would confirm his identity if Eric had it. Part of her wondered if she was a moron, following a deranged lunatic around for all these years. It didn’t matter how hard she searched, she never found his book, his notes to himself so he would remember who he was and what he’d done. It was an artifact that only the oldest angels maintained.
Her lips pulled into a crooked grin. Eric was no angel. Not anymore. That’s why it took so long for her to find him. And whether she wanted to admit it or not, she was attracted to him. Everything about him was enticing. The curve of his muscles, the angle of his jaw, the color of his eyes. Her stomach clenched thinking about it. He was her type through and through. Every ounce of him made her want to feel his skin beneath her hands and taste his lips. Sometimes she looked at him and wondered if he was thinking the same thing. The longing in his eyes undid her. He made it difficult to think, and if Eric continued to act like this, she was screwed. Not only did it mean she was attached to him, but it meant that she’d been wrong all this time. It meant she’d tracked down the wrong man. Natalia put her hands on her head, pressing hard, trying to crush the doubt that was growing around Eric.
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Eric walked the streets for hours, trying to subdue his pain, but his feet still took him to the darkest place in the city—the place that would sate his burning desire for blood. It was a location where Valefar lurked and Martis were glaringly absent. Ivy had told them, warned the Valefar, that they could only prey on the wicked, and technically, this place was wicked.
Carina’s stood in front of him. It looked like a smashed up hotel, but it was so much more than that—it was a place where Rome’s men could play with women any way they wanted. The more nefarious the act, the more likely it was to be found here.
