by Jessica Wood
“What are you thinking, Liv?” he finally broke the silence.
“Liv…Olivia.” I said my name aloud. It sounded foreign, yet familiar from my mouth. I then met Connor’s gaze. He smiled at me as he studied my expression. “I still don’t know who you are exactly. I mean, I know your name is Connor, but…how do we know each other?”
His smile disappeared and I saw the sadness in his eyes again. “Liv, I’m your fiancé.”
“Fiancé?”
He nodded. I followed his gaze as it darted down to my left hand. To my surprise, there on my ring finger was a large, sparkling diamond set on top of a platinum, diamond-encrusted eternity band. How did I not see this earlier?
I looked back at him in silence, overwhelmed by everything.
“This must be a lot for you to take in right now. And I’m sure you have a lot of questions. I’ll be happy to answer whatever I know. Let’s just take this one step at a time. We can go at the pace you’re most comfortable with, okay?”
I nodded and drew in a deep breath as thousands of questions whirled around in my head, fighting for my attention.
“Thanks.” I gave him a small smile, grateful for his patience and understanding. At that moment I thought about how hard this must be for him as well—to be engaged to and in love with someone who doesn’t remember you or feel that same love anymore.
“Can we take this slowly? I just feel really overwhelmed.”
“Of course, Liv. I understand. Whatever you need. Just tell me what you want. Okay?”
I nodded again. “Who are my parents? Do I have any siblings? Do they know I’m here?”
I saw the pained expression on Connor’s face and knew I wouldn’t like the answer.
“I’m sorry, Liv. Your mom passed away a few years ago. You don’t have any siblings.”
“Did you know my mom? What kind of person was she?” Tears streamed down my face as I felt the loss for the mother I couldn’t remember.
“She passed away right before we met here in Philly. I believe you left New Jersey and moved here to start a new life.”
“Oh. And my dad?”
He shook his head. “You rarely talked about him. From the little you have said, you haven’t seen him since you were thirteen—”
“—when my parents got a divorce…” I finished his comment as I remembered the flashback I had right before I woke up.
“Yeah.” Connor looked at me in alarm. “Are you remembering things?”
“Maybe. I had a flashback of them fighting when I was young right before I woke up.”
“Oh. Did you get any other flashbacks?”
“I don’t know. I think a little bit from the accident.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah. I think I was running across the street and then a car came toward me and hit me.”
“I’m so sorry, Liv.” Connor buried his face in his hands. “It’s all my fault.”
“What do you mean? Were you driving that car?” I looked at him in alarm.
“No, of course not!” He shook his head. “I…I just feel responsible for you.”
I frowned. I could tell there was something he wasn’t telling me. “Do you know how my accident happened? Were you there?”
He nodded and looked away. “I wish I could take it all back. I wish…”
“What happened? Please tell me.”
He looked up at me and I saw the regret in his face. “It was the night of our engagement party at the Franklin Institute Science Museum.” His eyes glazed over and he smiled as his thoughts took him back to that night. “You looked absolutely gorgeous in that jeweled gown.” He paused and his expression turned somber. “At some point during the night, you went out to the front of the museum. That’s when the car hit you.”
“I remember running across the street when the car hit me,” I said slowly as I thought back to the flashback I had right before I woke up. I stared at him, trying to remember more from that night. How come it’s so hard to remember? I thought in frustration.
“I’m so sorry, Liv. I should have been there for you. Maybe if I were there, this wouldn’t have happened…”
I frowned, trying to figure out how to comfort this man who seemed to be consumed with guilt. “You didn’t know this was going to happen.” I saw the anguish in his eyes and reached for his hand to reassure him. “It’s not your fault.”
“But it did happen.” I saw his body stiffen and knew it wasn’t going to be easy for him to forgive himself.
“Connor, please don’t.”
He looked up at me with pained eyes.
“There’s nothing you could’ve done differently when you didn’t know. I wish I had my memories. I wish I hadn’t been running across the street when the car came. I wish things were different.” I blinked away a tear. “But sometimes we don’t always get what we wish for. Sometimes we can only work with the hand that we’re dealt.” I was surprised by the sudden acceptance I felt for what had happened. Maybe those who say, “ignorance is bliss,” are right.
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
I looked at this stranger and somehow I knew I would remember him again. I knew he was important to me. I looked down at the engagement ring on my finger and instantly felt a loss for all the special memories that I didn’t have anymore.
“What’s wrong, Liv?” He saw the fresh tears in my eyes that were threatening to make their way down my cheeks.
“It’s just a lot to take in all at once.”
“I know.”
I watched him gently brush the tears from my cheeks, and from the way his hands caressed my face, I knew he’d touched me many times before. Were we happy before this accident? What kind of person was I when we were together? What did I enjoy doing? It wasn’t until then that another question hit me like a ton of bricks. What do I look like?
I gave him a weak smile. “Connor, I’m really tired. I’d like some time alone to digest all this.”
His brows furrowed with worry but he didn’t try to object. “Okay.” He got up from the chair and looked down at me. “I’ll stop by first thing tomorrow morning to see you.”
“Okay.” I forced a small smile.
He leaned down toward me and kissed me gently on my forehead. “I’ll see you tomorrow. I love you, gorgeous,” he whispered.
As I watched him leave, the hospital room suddenly disappeared.
For a split second I found myself in a grand, sun-drenched bedroom lying naked on a large luxurious bed under lush layers of satin sheets. I screamed out and my back arched upward as intense pleasure radiated throughout my body. I felt a pair of strong, rough hands grip my thighs tightly, keeping them spread apart as a long and hard tongue plunged in and out of me, pushing me to the brink of my release. After I came, I felt another naked body move up my body from somewhere under the layers and a second later, Connor’s face emerged out from under the sheets. He flashed me a wicked smirk as he slowly licked his lips. “And that’s how much I love you, gorgeous.”
I gasped at the memory that had just hit me, and my body tingled as if that moment had just happened. I looked down at my body and the question that had blindsided me a few minutes earlier crossed my mind again. What do I look like?
I slowly got up from the bed, and felt my muscles weak from the days of being on the hospital bed. It took me several minutes to move to the bathroom where there was a full-length mirror along the wall facing the door.
Standing in front of the mirror was like standing face to face with a complete stranger. Nerves prickled through my body like ice, cold needles as I studied every inch of the unfamiliar person in front of me. Nothing about my reflection looked familiar. Her radiant blue eyes stared back at me. Even through the bandages around her forehead, I could see the long wavy blond hair that cascaded down the curves of her small frame. I watched as this stunning woman staring back at me touched her face with both hands. I felt her fingers move across my face.
“I’m Olivia Stuart.” My w
hispered words filled the silent room and seemed to hang in the air as I continued to study myself in the reflection. Will this ever stop feeling so strange?
***
After a week at the hospital and focusing on my physical therapy, I felt slightly better and hopeful about everything. The tests Dr. Miller had ran all came out normal and I was cleared to leave today.
“Hey, gorgeous.”
I looked up to find Connor at my door with a large bouquet of pink roses.
“Hi.” I smiled, happy to see a familiar face. “You’re back.”
“Of course I’m back, silly. I’ve been visiting you every day, and every day you seem surprised to see me. Are you trying to get rid of me or something?”
I could see from his smile that he was joking, and I giggled uneasily. “No, that’s not what I mean.” I wasn’t sure how to tell him that the reason I seemed surprised to see him was because to me, he felt like a stranger.
“Well, like it or not, I’m here to take you home today, like I’d promised.”
“Oh, right.” Our eyes met and I felt my stomach flip nervously. I immediately looked away and felt my face turn beet red when I remembered my flashback of the intense orgasm this man had given me. I knew that for him, we were lovers in love, but for me, I felt embarrassed and exposed that this handsome stranger knew me more intimately than I knew myself.
“What’s wrong?” He walked over to me and kissed me lightly on my cheek.
“Nothing.” I pushed my thoughts aside and flashed him a smile.
He handed me the bouquet in his hands. “Pink roses are your favorite.”
“Thank you. They’re beautiful.” I took the stunning bouquet and was instantly hit with its intoxicating smell.
“How are you feeling?”
“Better,” I responded honestly.
“Good. So are you ready to blow this popsicle stand then?”
I let out a light chuckle and nodded.
Thirty minutes later, Connor had helped me finish all my paperwork to check out of the hospital. I had changed into a white Splendid cotton silk tee, dark-washed J Brand jeans, and a pair of black Christian Louboutin patent leather stilettos that Connor brought for me from my closet. According to him, this was one of my favorite casual outfits. I had stared dubiously at the three-inch heels when he had handed them to me. They looked more painful than comfortable to me. But when I put them on, they had hugged my feet perfectly and I was surprised by how at ease I was walking around in them.
“Hey, gorgeous.” Connor looked up from the hospital paperwork when I walked out of the bathroom. “You look like you’re back to your old self.” I watched as his eyes moved up and down my body, and a nervous shiver ran down my back.
“I guess my muscle memory’s still intact,” I joked as I looked at my heels.
He chuckled and shook his head. “I never did understand how you could walk in those things. You know on one of our first dates, I called you Wonder Woman when I saw you running in a pair just like those.”
I smiled. “Why was I running?”
“We had just had an amazing date at Tria, this great wine bar in the city, and you had a few glasses too many.” He smiled as he told the story. “Well, by the end of the night, you were running and skipping down the street without a care in the world and giggling uncontrollably.” He laughed at the memory and beamed at me. “It was at that moment that I knew I’d fall in love with you.”
I laughed along with him, wishing I could remember that memory, wishing I could remember how it had felt to possibly share those same feelings toward him.
A few minutes later we were outside, standing at the entrance of the hospital.
“Liv, I’m going to go get the car. You okay with waiting right here for me? I’ll bring the car around and pick you up.”
I nodded and smiled. He’s such a gentleman.
He leaned in and kissed me gently on the forehead. “I love you, gorgeous.”
“Thanks.” I cringed inside as soon as the word came out. I wasn’t sure what to say. I had a feeling he wanted more, but telling a stranger I loved him wasn’t something I was ready to give.
He gave a light chuckle and smiled. “I’ll be back.”
As I watched him walk away and turn the corner toward the entrance of the parking garage, I was preoccupied with thoughts of how the following days, weeks, and months would be for us.
Suddenly I heard people approach me from the left.
“Excuse me! Please make way!”
I turned and saw a couple barreling toward me. It was a man holding up a pregnant woman who appeared to be in a lot of pain. “My wife’s water broke! Please move!”
I finally realized that I was standing in the middle of the hospital entrance and blocking their path. I hastily took a step back to give them room to pass me, but it was too late. The man pushed past me and as I took a step back, my heel caught on a crack in the pavement and I lost my balance and fell backward.
Just as I thought I was about to hit the ground, a strong arm caught me from behind and pulled me up. I gasped in surprise at my near-fall and found myself tightly clutched within someone’s protective arms.
“Careful there or you’re going to hurt yourself in those killer heels.”
I looked up and let out an audible gasp as my gaze locked with a pair of intensely-dark, smoldering brown eyes staring down at me.
CHAPTER TWO
I couldn’t remember how long I seemed to drown in those dark, chocolate eyes, but it was like we were suspended in time and space as my neck rested against his arm while he looked down at me in silence. Finally at some point in time I felt the blood flowing to my head, causing me to become dizzy, which snapped me out of my trance.
I blinked, breaking our locked gaze. “Sorry about that,” I apologized as I reminded myself to breathe.
“Not a problem.” He beamed down at me, and I drew in a deep breath. A comforting warmth washed through me as I took in the contrast of his devious boyish grin set against his dangerously masculine, chiseled face.
“Hi, I’m Ethan.” He pulled me straight up to a standing position and allowed me to regain my footing. But instead of letting me go, he held my arms and looked at me. There was something exciting and beautiful about him that captivated me, making me forget about everything and everyone else.
It was his sudden chuckle that finally broke my silence.
“Why are you laughing?”
“Well, I just introduced myself to you. This is usually where you would introduce yourself to me.”
My face grew hot and I cringed inside at how silly and childish I was behaving. Is this how I am normally? Do I easily let random strangers have this effect on me? I cleared my throat. “Hi.” I pulled away from him and took a step back to establish a more friendly—and a more safe—distance from him. I smoothed down my shirt, pretending to be preoccupied with some dust that was stuck on my clothes. “I’m Olivia.”
“Hey, Liv. I’m glad we bumped into each other.” He flashed me a heart-stopping smile.
His words caught me by surprise and it wasn’t until then that I realized that maybe I knew this stranger—maybe if I didn’t have amnesia, he wouldn’t actually be a stranger to me.
“Do I know you?”
He cocked his head and gave me a quizzical look. “Wouldn’t you know if you knew me?”
His question stung. “I…” I looked away. I was about to tell him that I had lost my memory, but I stopped myself. You don’t know anything about this man! You don’t owe him an explanation. “Okay. I don’t know you,” I responded firmly. “But why did you call me Liv?”
At first, he didn’t answer me. He just smirked and studied me, causing me to feel nervous and self-conscious. Finally he responded. “That’s your name, isn’t it?” I could hear the smirk coated in his every word.
“I told you my name was Olivia—”
“And isn’t Liv short for Olivia?” he cut me off, and I could hear the smugness in his to
ne.
I frowned and felt slightly annoyed. “Maybe for some people, but I don’t think you should just assume that everyone named Olivia goes by Liv. So—”
“But,” cutting me off again, “I’m not talking to everyone.” His lips curled into a wide grin. “I’m talking to only you. Do you go by Liv?”
“Only friends call me Liv,” I retorted.
“Well, there you go. So I wasn’t wrong to call you Liv.”
My annoyance grew as he so brazenly brushed off my comment.
“Seeing as I just saved your life, I’d say we’re at least friends.” He flashed me a smug smile.
“That’s pretty presumptuous of you.” I felt an odd mixture of irritation and curiosity over this man’s cocky forwardness. It wasn’t until then that I looked beyond his mesmerizing eyes and face. He had on a worn-down black motorcycle jacket, a gray T-shirt that looked like it’d seen better days, and a pair of dark-washed Levis that seemed to hug him in just the right places. There was a purposely-casual style about this man that made him look like he could be Adam Levine’s younger brother.
“Is it?” he challenged, his eyes twinkling with amusement.
Yes, I’m definitely picking up that Adam Levine-esque cockiness about him. “I guess I should thank you for catching me before I fell, but I hardly think you saved my life.” As intrigued as I was about him, I wasn’t about to let him think I’d ever give in to his forwardness. His ego didn’t need to get any bigger than it already appeared to be.
His lips twisted into a dangerous smirk as he looked down at my heels. “Like I said, those are some killer shoes.”
Then a thought crossed my mind and I looked at him. “What if I didn’t go by Liv?”
“What do you mean?”
“What if I only went by Olivia, and you just called me Liv?” I shot him a smirk of my own.
He laughed. “Well then,” he licked his lips. He took a step toward me and leaned down to my ear and whispered, “I’d have my own special nickname for you then, wouldn’t you say?” The heat of his breath teased my neck, sending a shiver down my back.
