Peter
To:
Izabell
Subject:
Never Mind
Rose just e-mailed back. Apparently, my work was not up to par for her. I need to redo everything I did today. Hope you’re enjoying the beach. I’m not going to make it. Will stay at the house and work. Tell my parents I say hello. See you all for dinner.
—Peter
Sent:
Saturday, July 26, 2008 at 10:04 PM
From:
Peter
To:
Izabell
Subject:
Dinner
I’m sorry I couldn’t make dinner tonight. I had no choice. I hope you’re having fun with my folks right now.
—Me
Draft:
Sunday, July 27, 2008 at 12:03 AM
From:
Izabell
To:
Mums
Subject:
So Much for a Nice Weekend
This e-mail was written but not sent and will save as Draft until further action.
Mums,
It’s midnight, and I’m at Kiawah with Peter and his family. Except that Peter isn’t really here. I mean, he’s here, but he’s locked up in a room working. This is the way it’s been for about a month. I just haven’t seen him. And, it doesn’t look like that’s going to change anytime soon. He won’t do anything about it—keeps saying he has no choice.
What’s going on? Tell me what to do. Am I being unreasonable? Insensitive? Not an understanding fiancée? Or, is this more than that? I’m starting to worry … I feel like I’m looking at a man who may have different priorities than I have … or who doesn’t know how to “balance” … or who can’t stand up for what is most important … all these things would not be good. I don’t know. I’m a little confused.
Tell me what to do. I don’t know what to do.
Maybe we rushed into this.
I love you.
—Me
Sent:
Sunday, July 27, 2008 at 2:12 AM
From:
Annette
To:
Izabell, Elizabeth, Brooke
Subject:
Up Late
… I thought you (Izzy) and the married crew who lives vicariously through us (Elizabeth and Brooke) would enjoy this one (they just keep on getting better and better, cut and pasted below):
hi counselor,
i am dano
Sent:
Sunday, July 27, 2008 at 3:34 AM
From:
Victoria’s Secret
To:
Izabell Chin
Subject:
Purchase Order Confirmation
Thank you for shopping at Victoria’s Secret.
This e-mail is to confirm the receipt of your recent order from Victoria’s Secret.
Your order number is ANGEL34593944IC. To check the current status of your order, please go to www.victoriassecret.com and click on the “Order Status” link.
ITEMS
QTY
EACH
Polka dot bra
1
28.95
Polka dot panty
1
$15.99
Pink satin thong
1
$20.99
Wild Thing panty
1
$20.99
Baby blue flirty gown
1
$105.00
Shipping and Handling:
$16.99
Tax:
$0.00
TOTAL:
$208.91
Sent:
Sunday, July 27, 2008 at 3:39 AM
From:
Izabell
To:
Elizabeth, Annette, Brooke
Subject:
Retail Therapy
According to Urban Dictionary, retail therapy is:
(1) The act of shopping as an outlet for frustration and a reliever of stress;
(2) An excuse for people (mostly female) to go shopping when they’re feeling bad, when in reality their bad feelings could be released/ treated in other ways;
(3) A costly replacement for Zoloft.
#3 is my personal favorite. Wonder if Zoloft would be cheaper than my recent Victoria’s Secret habit … I just spent over $200 on sexy lingerie for Peter. And, the worst part is that I bought lace and silk and thongs and G-strings— everything I HATE wearing because it’s so damn uncomfortable, but I wear anyway because the male species loves it. What I’d give for some flannel …
Sent:
Monday, July 28, 2008 at 12:13 PM
From:
Elizabeth
To:
Izabell, Annette, Brooke
Subject:
Re: Retail Therapy
I wear Granny panties after one year of marriage. And so will you … in about a year.
Sent:
Monday, July 28, 2008 at 1:49 PM
From:
Brooke
To:
Elizabeth, Izabell, Annette
Subject:
Re: Retail Therapy
Ditto Elizabeth.
Glad that we have Izzy to borrow from when we want to wear a sexy lacy thong for our anniversary each year (because that’s about as often as I wear that kinda crap for Andrew).
Sent:
Monday, July 28, 2008 at 2:52 PM
From:
Elizabeth
To:
Brooke
Subject:
Re: Retail Therapy
Speaking of anniversaries, how was yours last week?
Sent:
Monday, July 28, 2008 at 3:19 PM
From:
Brooke
To:
Elizabeth
Subject:
Re: Retail Therapy
Well, let’s see here … my husband freaks out at the prospect of disappointing me so he does nothing until the last minute when I basically tell him what I want to do for our anniversary … and I get him a nice Calvin Klein watch and Kenneth Cole leather briefcase, and he gets me citrus burst lotion and some bath stuff that I will never use because I don’t take baths (showers only, but somehow he has failed to recognize this simple fact), and then as we are heading out the door for a nice run in the mountains during our anniversary he gets a call from work that he shouldn’t take (because it’s our anniversary) but he takes it anyway and continues on the call periodically through dinner and then asks me if I want to do the deed after that.
I think not.
Sent:
Monday, July 28, 2008 at 4:29 PM
From:
Elizabeth
To:
Brooke
Subject:
Re: Retail Therapy
Well, mine didn’t fair much better. My husband got wasted early and ended up sick in the bathroom all night. Married life is for the weeds.
Sent:
Monday, July 28, 2008 at 5:34 PM
From:
Brooke
To:
Elizabeth
Subject:
Re: Retail Therapy
Sometimes my husband surprises me. I am always more surprised that I’m so surprised.
Sent:
Monday, July 28, 2008 at 6:01 PM
From:
Elizabeth
To:
Brooke
Subject:
Re: Retail Therapy
Agreed and agreed. I came home late from work the other night and PJ had cooked risotto from scratch. I was shocked. He even had candles on the table (but he forgot to light them).
Sent:
Monday, July 28, 2008 at 6:12 PM
From:
Brooke
To:
Elizabeth
Subject:
Re: Retail Therapy
Andrew always wants to cuddle on the couch after dinner. It drives me crazy, because I actually like to watch my shows without someone breathing down my neck. But, I’ll admit, it’s kind of endearing.
&
nbsp; Sent:
Monday, July 28, 2008 at 6:23 PM
From:
Elizabeth
To:
Brooke
Subject:
Re: Retail Therapy
Thank God Izzy’s not part of this convo. When do we spill the beans about the inevitable nonexistence of the sex?
Sent:
Monday, July 28, 2008 at 6:49 PM
From:
Brooke
To:
Elizabeth
Subject:
Re: Retail Therapy
Izzy’s such an idealist, I’m certainly not going to be the one to burst her romantic bubble.
Sent:
Monday, July 28, 2008 at 6:52 PM
From:
Elizabeth
To:
Brooke
Subject:
Re: Retail Therapy
’Twill be burst, to be sure. TTYL.
Sent:
Monday, July 28, 2008 at 11:29 PM
From:
Annette
To:
Elizabeth, Izabell, Brooke
Subject:
Re: Retail Therapy
Still stalking my Match account—think I’ll ever wear sexy lingerie for this one?
Hi Annette,
Regrettably, our friends have not introduced us, we have not met at the produce section, and somehow we missed each other at the hospital fund-raiser, theater, stadium, rally for our favorite candidate, MySpace, grand opening of the new mall, ribbon cutting at the new Starbucks, volunteer party at the animal shelter or waiting online at Lord & Taylor (you were probably still in the shoe department.) We were both at the July 4th fireworks but it was too dark and loud to notice each other or speak.
Finally, your beautiful eyes beckoned me to write today.
First, tell me—Your first chats with guys on Match are like what TV game show or TV network?
—Jeopardy
—To Tell the Truth
—Concentration (cause they put you to sleep)
—Password—one word clueless answers
—The Price is Right
—Deal or No Deal
—Truth or Consequences
—What’s My Line?
—The Gong Show
—Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader? (my last date)
—Law & Order (major legal issues)
—MTV (acts like a teenager)
—24 (has a “dark side” and could be a terrorist)
—House (despite a good job has a drug problem)
—C-SPAN (sounds like a double-talking politician at work)
—ER (you guessed it—one “emergency” after another)
—no game show or network—more like Survivor
Why not try a different approach and try someone different?
Additionally, if you respond, I will send three letters of reference, phone number of my publicist, fingerprints, my college transcripts, recent results of negative drug, alcohol, and STD tests, medical clearance from NASA, copies of the last three years of IRS filings, blood pressure and cholesterol levels, phone numbers of last two ex-girlfriends, blood type, clearance from Homeland Security, a copy of my voting record, résumé, all professional publications, dental records, a list of magazine subscriptions, list of library card withdrawals, bank credit references, three letters from scandal-free White House officials, the combination to my wall safe, verification of my Swiss bank accounts, USTA tennis membership, my holiday card list, complete CAT scan results, DNA sample, car maintenance record, a list of charitable contributions, retinal scan, passport number, psychological & personality profile, astrological charts, and my birth weight … and of course, my mother’s maiden name.
Does that cover it?
Say “Hello,” and maybe your next call will be more like the …
—Wheel of Fortune
Ron
Sent:
Wednesday, July 30, 2008 at 4:56 PM
From:
Rose
To:
Peter
Subject:
Meetings
Peter,
Have my secretary book you a flight to FL next Monday—Friday. We’re going to be in meetings all week regarding the upcoming motion. Please draft a detailed memo for me on the most critical issues. I need you to work on this day and night. It goes without saying, be thorough.
—Rose
Sent:
Wednesday, July 30, 2008 at 6:07 PM
From:
Peter
To:
Izabell
Subject:
Coldplay
Hey Baby,
I’m really sorry, but we’re going to have to cancel on the Coldplay concert. Or, why don’t you bring Elizabeth? Tell her the ticket’s on me. It’s the least I can do. I’m really sorry. No choice.
—Peter
Sent:
Tuesday, August 5, 2008 at 11:19 PM
From:
Izabell
To:
Peter
Subject:
Miss you
I really miss you. Where is my fiancé all of the time? He’s working. Boo. If this continues, can you talk to Rose and tell her you need a life? Please? We haven’t spent a decent night together in over a month. I’d talk about this with you in person, but … we really don’t see each other that much. We’ve become two ships passing in the night.
AND, CAN YOU PLEASE LOOK AT THE WEDDING FOLDER????
Love you,
Your Izzy
Sent:
Thursday, August 7, 2008 at 11:45 PM
From:
Peter
To:
Izabell
Subject:
Re: Miss you
Sorry it’s taken me awhile to respond. Florida is crazy. We’ve been working 24-7 since we got here. Now’s not the time to talk to Rose. Plus, this has got to let up eventually. I promise to talk to her when the moment’s right.
I’m so sorry about the wedding folder. I’ll get to it, promise. We have plenty of time to decide. Certainly these places aren’t booked for March yet.
—Peter
Sent:
Thursday, August 7, 2008 at 11:56 PM
From:
Izabell
To:
Peter
Subject:
Re: Miss you
DO YOU MISS ME????
Sent:
Friday, August 8, 2008 at 5:06 PM
From:
Peter
To:
Izabell
Subject:
Re: Miss you
Of course I miss you. What a stupid question.
Sent:
Friday, August 8, 2008 at 5:08 PM
From:
Izabell
To:
Peter
Subject:
Re: Miss you
Except it takes you a day to respond and say that? When are you coming home? Hasn’t your flight already landed? You didn’t go straight to the office, did you?
Sent:
Friday, August 8, 2008 at 5:13 PM
From:
Rose
To:
Peter
Subject:
Come to my office.
Sent:
Monday, August 11, 2008 at 9:19 PM
From:
Rose
To:
Peter
Subject:
Come to my office.
Sent:
Tuesday, August 12, 2008 at 6:07 AM
From:
Rose
To:
Peter
Subject:
Come to my office.
SMS From: Peter (Mobile)
August 12, 2008 8:19 PM
Won’t be home 4 dinner again. Eat without me. How are u doin?
Sent:
Wednesday, August 13, 2008 at 4:45 PM
From:
Rose
To:
Peter
&
nbsp; Subject:
Come to my office.
SMS From: Peter (Mobile)
August 13, 2008 5:56 PM
No dinner 4 me again. Eat without me.
Sent:
Thursday, August 14, 2008 at 2:34 PM
From:
Rose
To:
Peter
Subject:
Come to my office.
SMS From: Peter (Mobile)
August 14, 2008 9:19 PM
Be home around midnight. Sorry I missed Project Runway
last night.
Sent:
Friday, August 15, 2008 at 7:19 PM
From:
Rose
To:
Peter
Subject:
Come to my office.
Sent:
Saturday, August 16, 2008 at 5:19 PM
From:
Rose
To:
Peter
Subject:
Come to my office.
Save as Draft Page 14
