Go to hell, Rose.
Sincerely,
Izabell Chin
Sent:
Wednesday, October 1, 2008 at 5:09 am
From:
Izabell
To:
Mom
Subject:
Re: Deposit!!
Don’t put down the deposit.
AUGUST–SEPTEMBER 2008: WHAT MARTY MEANT BY HIS LAST E-MAIL …
Sent:
Sunday, August 10, 2008 at 5:14 PM
From:
Izabell
To:
Marty
Subject:
Re: Long Time No Hear, Goddess Iz
Hey There Marty!
Sorry I seemed dazed and confused yesterday when you called me. I was driving while trying to run errands while trying to calm my dog down, all at the same time! LOL! Plus, you admittedly caught me off guard. What has it been? Months? (I admit that it’s taken me now two months to respond to your last e-mail as my records reflect the original was sent on June 8 … my bad.)
How are you? What’s been happening in the exciting life of Mr. Fabulous?
On my end, there have been several big developments in my life. My birthday was about two months ago and … drum roll please … I got engaged.
Pause for response.
Pause longer for you to be thinking: “Wow, that was fast. Dear gosh, that was fast.”
Pause one more second for you to recover. ;-)
No, seriously, um, yeah, I’m engaged. I guess that’s what happens when you date your best friend—the dating process is suddenly, how shall I put it? Expedited.
In any event, enough about me. How are you? Still dating on eHarmony? How many broken hearts have you left pining away for you in the greater Atlanta area? Job good? House good? Details, please …
—Iz
Sent:
Sunday, August 10, 2008 at 10:23 PM
From:
Marty
To:
Izabell
Subject:
Re: Long Time No Hear, Goddess Iz
Wow. I guess congratulations are in order then …!
To be honest, I’m not all that surprised. (Let’s just call it a hunch.) (And, I simply couldn’t figure out any other legitimate reason for you not to respond to my last e-mail! Yes, it was June 8 … ;-))
On my end, things are going really well. The house is completed so I’ve got another house party/BBQ planned in a few weeks. The job is great; I just got a bonus, raise, and a promotion last week. On the dating front … I dated a very nice girl for a few months. I have nothing bad to say about her (we have similar interests, she is very attractive, she is a genuinely great person, etc.), but we were missing that something extra. Call it “spark,” or “little moments,” or whatever … but I want butterflies. I don’t think that’s too much to ask, do you? Anyways, I’m done with online dating for the time being; I’m focusing on developing some business ideas and personal growth. It’s also a time for vacation and reflection.
Perhaps now that you are all secure in your relationship(s), we can finally get that overdue cup of coffee (or adult beverage of choice), and try this again with a different kind of relationship (a.k.a. friendship). Seriously, it’s silly for us not to at least be friends, right? And, who knows, somewhere down the road, you might have a referral for me in your social network. ;-)
Glad to hear that you are doing well. Sorry to shock you with my out-of-the-blue call the other day.
So, is life everything you imagined it would be as a new fiancée?
—(Still) Marty
Sent:
Tuesday, August 12, 2008 at 4:54 PM
From:
Izabell
To:
Marty
Subject:
Re: Long Time No Hear, Goddess Iz
I am sorry that it took me so long to respond to your e-mail. And, sorry that it took a jolting phone call out of the blue for me to actually respond! ;-) In my defense, I’ve been busy at work and trying to plan a vacation and a wedding. I bought my dress about a month ago, can you believe it $3,000? Dear God, I guess there’s no turning back now!
Well, to be sure, it sounds like the career thing is definitely taking off for you which is wonderful. A bonus, a raise, and a promotion are not so bad. I’d settle for just one of those! Or, even just NOT hating my job! Regarding your hiatus from eHarmony of late … some of my single gal pals signed up since I told them that I had one of the best first dates ever from it! But, the male to female ratio in the ATL is apparently 1:8 so you should be just fine with or without online dating. No joke. That’s the ratio. So, basically, if you’re a guy—you’re set!
Anywhooo. What else is new? Still quoting great movies? Still trying to find someone to count to 500 with?
—Iz
P.S. BTW, it’s a shame you decided to stop cruising eHarm, because they might have paired you with one of my beautiful and intelligent girlfriends! I’d be happy to set you up on a blind date with one of them.
Sent:
Tuesday, August 12, 2008 at 5:45 PM
From:
Marty
To:
Izabell
Subject:
Re: Long Time No Hear, Goddess Iz
Vacation sounds like a great idea. I’m off to Kentucky next month for a wedding/vacation, and very much looking forward to it. I’ve got another California trip and Denver planned for end of August so the month could be a blur! Where’s your trip to? Is it the honeymoon perchance?
I keep hearing that the ratio is in my favor here … but I declare shenanigans on whoever is doing these statistics! I must be overly picky or going to the wrong venues, because I’m not seeing 1:8! All I can seem to find are fat, timid nurses, fat, timid teachers, and fat, timid undergrads studying to be nurses or teachers. Where are the un-obese (is that even a word?) intelligent risk-takers? In all seriousness, I am accepting referrals if you should be so inclined (in response to your P.S.).
I’m still quoting movies and songs like it was my job, still trying to count to 500 with someone (but failing miserably, see above). I’m also excited for a pretty cool run of concerts coming up. The Twilight Singers on Friday at The Loft and Wilco at Variety next Tuesday. (Open invite to both of them if you are interested.)
You’re still dodging me on the drink. Baby steps, I guess.
So, is life everything you imagined it would be as a new fiancée?
—Marty
Sent:
Wednesday, August 13, 2008 at 3:41 PM
From:
Izabell
To:
Marty
Subject:
Re: Long Time No Hear, Goddess Iz
I’ve seen The Twilight Singers. Saw them in New Orleans four years ago. If it’s the same band I’m thinking of. The lead singer was very intense. I remember him having that “sexy ugly” quality that I love so much.
My vacation is to the Bahamas. End of September. For a week. Much-needed. I haven’t had a vacation since I started working here a year ago. (I don’t count taking the CA Bar as a vacation, nor do I count the weekend in Kiawah Island at the end of July with Peter’s family as a vacation—don’t ask—was perhaps on my Top 10 List of most miserable weekends.) So, yes, a trip to the Bahamas for a week is in order. And, Peter has promised that he won’t work at all.
Oh, and NO, my vacation is NOT my honeymoon. Puh-lease. Do you think I’m preggers or something? C’mon now, have a little faith! Wedding’s not until next February (assuming Peter can get the time off from work to get married, LOL).
That is indeed the guy to girl ratio. Hmm. You’d probably go gaga for my girlfriend, Anna. Hang tight—I’ll call her now. BRB …
OK. I’m back. She’s totally up for it. After the 25th she said. Think 5’9”, incredibly slender (since you seem to have issues with fat people), blond hair, huge blue eyes, super tan, and uber-smart. (We went to law school together. She works for a rival firm.) Think Christie Brinkley in B
illy Joel’s “Uptown Girl” video. How’s that for inducement?
Should this be a “let’s all meet for drinks after work” sorta thing, or do you want to take her to dinner solo? Let me know!
—Iz
Sent:
Thursday, August 14, 2008 at 8:19 PM
From:
Marty
To:
Izabell
Subject:
Re: Long Time No Hear, Goddess Iz
I’m going to go “gaga” over Anna, huh? That’s quite an endorsement! And, Christie Brinkley, no less? You of all people should know I’m much more into 5’3” Amer-Asian actresses turned lawyers who have mischievous smiles. ;-)
Let’s just meet for drinks after work one day … less pressure that way. I’m pretty booked next weekend with musical commitments, so how about the week of the 27th? We could do Tap around 8 PM (for ol’ times’ sake). Sound good?
I’ll agree on the singer from Twilight … girls seem to love him despite his average looks, at best. But, he makes some great music.
The Bahamas are awesome. I mean, I’ve never been, but I’ve heard. ;-) Strangely/ ironically, I’ll be headed down to Kiawah in November. We stay at The Ritz down there for our annual corporate retreat. Sorry your Kiawah vacay was so bad. Can I ask why?
Thanks for thinking of me; it means a lot. I’m very much looking forward to meeting Anna.
Talk soon,
Marty
Sent:
Friday, August 15, 2008 at 12:14 PM
From:
Izabell
To:
Marty
Subject:
Re: Long Time No Hear, Goddess Iz
Let’s plan on August 29th. We’re both free that night. We’ll meet at Tap.
Of course I’m looking out for you! It’s hard to meet intelligent, motivated, fun people. Period. No argument there. While the ratio of male to female is 1:8, the ratio of smart males to smart females is probably more around 1/2:4. Those odds are still in your favor though.
If you don’t like Anna, then there’s Leslie and Ashley and Samantha. I’ve got PLENTY of smart, single girlfriends, let me tell ya. But, let’s just take this one at a time!
Sent:
Friday, August 15, 2008 at 12:24 PM
From:
Marty
To:
Izabell
Subject:
Re: Long Time No Hear, Goddess Iz
The 29th it is.
One at a time, for sure.
Talk soon,
Marty
P.S. Nice ratio manipulation there. I was thinking more like 1/16 to 3/6. ;-)
Sent:
Saturday, August 16, 2008 at 5:14 PM
From:
Izabell
To:
Elizabeth
Subject:
Remember Marty?
Remember Marty? (Hint: eHarm.) Well, he got in touch with me out of the blue the other day. Strange, I know. Anyway, we’re kind of talking again. Just as friends, of course. Small world.
Sent:
Saturday, August 16, 2008 at 5:59 PM
From:
Elizabeth
To:
Izabell
Subject:
Re: Remember Marty?
Cannot provide guidance today, sorry.
After thirty-eight years of seemingly blissful marriage, my father decided to leave my mother last night for his mistress with whom he apparently co-owned a house in Iowa these past seven years.
I know. Shitty day.
Sent:
Saturday, August 16, 2008 at 6:03 PM
From:
Izabell
To:
Elizabeth
Subject:
Re: Remember Marty?
Wait, WHAT??????
Sent:
Saturday, August 16, 2008 at 6:09 PM
From:
Elizabeth
To:
Izabell
Subject:
Re: Remember Marty?
Can’t get into specifics now (am on the phone with my mom who is hysterical), but yes—that’s the story: mistress for seven years in Iowa.
Sent:
Saturday, August 16, 2008 at 6:12 PM
From:
Izabell
To:
Elizabeth
Subject:
Re: Remember Marty?
Ahhh, E, I am so sorry!!! Do you need anything? Can I come over tonight with a bottle of wine or something? Anything? I’ll even attempt cooking. That’s brutal. After thirty-eight years … I can’t fathom how something like that could happen …
Sent:
Saturday, August 16, 2008 at 6:19 PM
From:
Elizabeth
To:
Izabell
Subject:
Re: Remember Marty?
Yes. Bring wine.
Sent:
Sunday, August 17, 2008 at 9:48 PM
From:
Annette
To:
Izabell, Elizabeth, Brooke
Subject:
3 For the Price of 1
3 Match e-mails for the Price of 1 … My Top 3 List this week for your viewing pleasure.
1) I like the way he makes “alot” one word.
Let’s go out and find something fun to do, anywhere I am very active, liking to be outside alot of the time. I like to travel alot and explore new things. I love early mornings, coffee. I like dining, dancing, and good wine and company. I would like to meet a loyal, calm, commonsensical, passionate women.
2) So obviously a form e-mail.
I am looking for a tender, warm-hearted, intelligent woman who is looking for a confident, intelligent, emotionally open, sensitive man. I see these qualities in your photograph and your words and would like to learn more about you.
Daniel
3) At least he has good taste.
You’re gorgeous … would love to get to know you
Sent:
Monday, August 18, 2008 at 8:34 AM
From:
Annette
To:
Izabell, Elizabeth, Brooke
Subject:
Forgot One!
It’s actually FOUR for the price of 1 this week!
4) This one’s never heard of punctuation, but at least it’s not a form e-mail.
I wonder if you think 51 is too old hi my name is chad and I am calling from charlotte
Sent:
Monday, August 18, 2008 at 9:19 AM
From:
Brooke
To:
Elizabeth
Subject:
Re: Forgot One!
Why is it that I find Annette’s Match e-mails from crazies much more exciting than my present marriage? Not that I don’t love my husband and all, but … just sayin’.
Sent:
Monday, August 18, 2008 at 10:23 AM
From:
Elizabeth
To:
Brooke
Subject:
Re: Forgot One!
Sigh. My dad left my mom two nights ago for his Iowan mistress, BTW.
Sent:
Monday, August 18, 2008 at 10:32 AM
From:
Brooke
To:
Elizabeth
Subject:
Re: Forgot One!
WTF? You’re kidding, right?
Sent:
Monday, August 18, 2008 at 10:33 AM
From:
Elizabeth
To:
Brooke
Subject:
Re: Forgot One!
Nope. And, she’s really Iowan apparently.
(I’m trying to have a sense of humor about this. But, I’m mad as hell. I’m also trying not to talk to Izzy about this too much, because she’s in the throes of near-wedded bliss … so you, oh likewise married one, are my outlet.)
Sent:
Monday, August 18, 2008 at 10:41 AM
From:
> Brooke
To:
Elizabeth
Subject:
Re: Forgot One!
Iowan just sounds bad. Well, if you want to talk … I’m happy to be your “outlet.” I’m really sorry. Is there anything you need?
Agreed that Izzy’s bubble doesn’t need to be burst just yet. Let it burst on its own, as it most surely will.
Sent:
Monday, August 18, 2008 at 10:59 AM
From:
Elizabeth
To:
Brooke
Subject:
Re: Forgot One!
Question (and be honest): If someone were to ask you to describe being (newly) married in one word, how would you describe it?
Sent:
Monday, August 18, 2008 at 11:02 AM
From:
Brooke
To:
Elizabeth
Subject:
Re: Forgot One!
Hard.
Sent:
Monday, August 18, 2008 at 11:09 AM
From:
Elizabeth
To:
Brooke
Subject:
Re: Forgot One!
Same. It always pisses me off when new brides say “wonderful” or “blissful” or blah blah blah, because, one, I know they’re lying, and, two, they make us honest wives appear … callous … when in reality, we’re just honest.
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