Nessa held her again. Held her tight as she whispered, “You’re magnificent, Elise.”
“I am exhausted. That is what I am.” She looked up into Nessa’s eyes, gold meeting grey. “But not too exhausted to claim what I have been wanting since that night you climbed the castle wall for me. I am having your body. And I am going to do bad but delicious things to it,” Elise panted hotly against her ear.
Nessa felt her sex respond, twitching and clenching. She must be soaking the sheets below them.
Elise’s hand snaked down between their bodies, and her fingers found their target. Nessa gasped as they gently felt around, getting their bearings. All too soon, they stopped.
“Wha… what happened?” Nessa whined.
“I realise that I have to taste you. Everything that comes out of Ground Hollow is delicious, be it grains or fruit. I bet the women are just as flavoursome.”
Elise shimmied down her body, kissing Nessa’s overheated skin as she went.
“Spread your legs,” Elise growled, her voice rougher than usual.
Nessa didn’t have to think, her legs parted by themselves. She was rewarded for her obedience immediately. A hot tongue sliding against the neediest part of her. Moving from up across the slit and over the hood and then back again. Over and over in a maddening rhythm.
Nessa felt her breath pick up. Her heart thudded against her ribcage in time with the tongue strokes. Those strokes were like a metronome, steady and measuring out her pleasure in beats. Then the pace picked up as Elise’s mouth fastened onto her clitoris. Nessa’s heart pounded and her breathing raced towards a peak, making her dizzy and out of control. Climbing, climbing. Her vision filled with colours and her mouth was dry from the hot breaths. The race to the top came to the part where Nessa felt that if she breathed any harder, she’d pass out. She had reached the top of the mountain. It was time to stop that race and calm both heart and breathing down again.
“That’s it. Yes. Stop. Thank you, heartling,” Nessa said breathlessly. She sounded like she had run here all the way from Ground Hollow. And her body felt as if she had, too. Her lungs ached from the hard use, and her heart was grudgingly agreeing to calm back down.
When she was settled enough to focus on something other than calming down, she craned her neck to look at Elise. She found Elise looking up at her. Propped up on her elbows, chin wet and light amber eyes searching Nessa’s face.
“What?” Nessa panted.
“Why did you ask me to stop?”
“I had finished.”
Elise looked confused. They searched for answers in each other’s eyes for a moment.
“Surely you did not climax? You cannot have.”
“Oh. Why the blazes not?” Nessa asked.
“There was no… reaction. No clenching inside your entrance, no extra liquid, no noises, no tension in your body during it, and no release of tension in your muscles now. You seemed more like you exercised than orgasmed.”
Elise furrowed her brow before continuing. “I have had quiet lovers who imploded rather than exploded, but I have never had a lover who did not have at least have the tiniest hint when climaxing. Unless I missed something?”
Nessa shrugged. She tried not to sound annoyed as she said, “My orgasms are different than some people’s. It just doesn’t seem to affect me much.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean that the tension builds and builds, it gets increasingly hard to breath, and then everything feels sort of overwhelming. That’s when I know it’s time to stop. I push myself full speed into the pleasant feeling, making myself really think about enjoying it. And then it’s, well, as I said – time to stop.”
Elise’s brow furrowed deeper. “Time to stop?”
“Yes. Because after that it gets to be uncomfortable or hard work. So I stop where it’s sort of… almost too much. That’s my climax.”
Elise bit her lower lip. “Heartling. I… do not mean to lecture you about your body, you know it best, but I do not believe that is a genuine climax.”
Now Nessa was seriously annoyed. What right did Elise have to talk about this? Why did it matter? It was fine the way it was. Nothing to be dug into. A feeling of discomfort rushed through her… and there was still that infernal ache between her legs. Still throbbing.
Elise’s eyes radiated kindness. “Can I please try again?” She kissed the inside of Nessa’s thigh, more tenderly than sexually. “Perhaps this time, when it becomes overwhelming –– do not think about it or try to push yourself into something –– simply tell me. And we will shift what we are doing and see if that makes… something else happen.”
Nessa wanted to protest. But something deep inside her reminded her that her reactions to coupling had always seemed more muted than that of her lovers. She had not wanted to think more about it. She now realised she had – deep down – worried that something was wrong with her.
She gave a curt nod and laid back comfortably. Soon she felt Elise’s precise tongue moving through her slickness again. She seemed to be making love to every part of Nessa now, kissing, sucking, and even nibbling. Nessa swore loudly, not sure why. Elise’s hands caressed her hips, her sides, and up to rest at the lower parts of her breasts. They soon found her nipples and she began flicking at them as her tongue did the same with Nessa’s clit. Incredibly fast. Incredibly pleasurably.
Nessa found herself fighting to stay in control and willed herself to let go. To not analyse what Elise was doing, or what her heart and breathing was up to. Not to hurry herself. She reminded herself that it was all fine. That she was safe. That they were both enjoying this. She tried to concentrate on the flicking sensations. She found her brain diverting from the path, thinking about how she was sweaty and if the tongue on her clit might feel nicer if it was a fraction slower.
Am I taking too long? Is her tongue getting tired? Should I pretend to have climaxed? Scream a little or something?
She curled her hands into fists as she tried to shut her thoughts down.
She thought about the flicking as something that was happening out of her control. As if the body she was in was not truly her own. She observed it and found it steeped in pleasure. In fact, her blood thrummed with it. She simply had to take her mind out of the picture. Without consciously deciding to, she busied it with trying to imagine what they would look like to an outsider. Her pale body lying flat and quivering ever so slightly, legs spread obscenely wide. And between them… the most beautiful woman in the world. Her stunning features against Nessa’s wetness and that darkly pink tongue flicking so fast over her erect nub.
Suddenly, seeing that so clearly, the sensation filled Nessa. She wasn’t aware of her heart beat anymore, nor her breathing. Nor did her brain seem to be working on anything besides picturing that erotic dance that the tip of Elise’s wet tongue was doing against her equally wet clit. So pretty, so dirty, so perfect.
Then there was a sensation that was new to Nessa. It was like a tug on a thread which threatened to unravel her. It was extreme bliss but also a little frightening. Like staring into an abyss and feeling equal amounts of thrill and fear at the fall.
A moment, or maybe an eternity, passed. Then Nessa’s blood rushed with energy as that thread let go and the stitch began to unravel completely, skittering through her belly and darting down her thighs in overtaking spasms of pure pleasure. Her eyes squeezed shut and every muscle in her body seemed to tighten. It was like she couldn’t breathe or that she no longer needed to. She wasn’t sure. Everything was blinding light and indulgent rapture. Distantly, she noticed her hands grab onto whatever they could reach and her legs kick, but couldn’t control them. All she could do was ride the wave of pleasure cresting over her and hope she wouldn’t drown. She heard herself moan, guttural, like an animal. Over and over again. Powerless to stop.
Another moment. Another eternity.
Then her mind began to return to the world around her. She felt control over her body seep back in. Her entire bein
g filled with heat, light, and tiny bursts of satisfaction.
Elise looked up at her, lips wet with Nessa’s essence and her eyes almost as wet with emotion. “Oh, my treasured one. That was a climax. And as I secretly presumed, you are the explosion type, not the implosion type. That is the way you are, private, but when you choose a person, you gift them with every thought and feeling you have. It makes sense that you would be the same in bed. You are exquisite. Are you all right? Did I push you further than you were ready to go?”
“You…” Nessa stopped to take a deep breath. “You pushed me right over the edge. And the fall was glorious.”
Elise smiled bashfully, and kissed Nessa’s lower stomach. She moved up, trailing kisses until her chin and lips felt dry against Nessa’s skin. When their mouths were finally reunited, Nessa could taste herself on Elise’s tongue and felt a jolt of belonging. It was such a shame that Elise was solely looking for fun and would soon move on, like a butterfly in summer. Nessa could have gotten used to this every night for the rest of her life.
Exhaustion numbed her mind. She struggled to say something but was shushed by Elise.
“Sleep. We will talk in the morning,” Elise mumbled before snuggling up. Her head resting heavily and reassuringly on Nessa’s chest.
Nessa didn’t have time to agree. She fell into a deep sleep, fuelled by sexual satisfaction and an alcoholic haze.
Chapter 25
The Morning After
Elise rubbed her forehead, eyes still closed protectively against the morning. She and Nessa had not really been in the right state of mind to make a decision like that last night. Nevertheless, they had been equally tired and drunk; neither had possessed any self-control. And now it was done. They had made love, and it had been wondrous. Elise had fallen far too deep. Last night had been the point of no return, and she had galloped past that point riding a wave of desire, love, and alcohol. Stupid. She breathed in through her nose.
Somewhere in her chest, something was buzzing. Like the delicate wings of a thousand minute butterflies. The sensation was starting to take over from the regret. Even if it had been a mistake – because it was too soon and because they had not talked it through – it had been wonderful. It was the the most profound connection that something physical had ever given her.
She braved opening her eyes. Nessa was lying next to her, on her back as well. She was breathing deeply, almost snoring. She wiggled her nose a little, probably because a few strands of almond hair were tickling it. With gentle fingers, Elise caressed the long hairs away from her face. She felt her cheeks hurt from how much she was smiling.
She kissed Nessa’s soft cheek a few times and saw her face go from soft repose into awakening. She cuddled close while Nessa woke up properly.
“Good morning,” Nessa mumbled.
“Good morning, heartling. Sleep well?”
Nessa grinned as she rubbed her face. “As soundly as you always do after a long night of drinking and fucking.”
The coarse, countryside word ground against Elise’s nerves. She decided not to comment on it. “I am glad you slept well. I have been thinking, and I believe we should both take the risk of not going into work today. We need to catch up on some sleep. More importantly, we need to discuss how this will affect our relationship.”
Nessa turned her head and kissed Elise’s temple. Her body language and facial expression radiated languid relaxation.
“Discuss? Nothing to discuss, was there? We got far too drunk and let off some steam. It’s good that it was with each other. Saved you the bother of finding your way home from some other woman’s rooms. Oh, and I need to hurry to work soon.”
Every muscle in Elise’s body tensed. “Pardon?”
“Well, I can’t risk losing my apprenticeship. I'm going to get up and get ready in a minute. You should, too,” Nessa said while stretching.
Elise sat up, quickly enough to give herself a head rush and start the hangover crashing in her skull. “I am not sure I like the way you are speaking. How dare you?”
Nessa blinked a few times as she yawned. “What do you mean? Take it easy. Lay back down, and I'll go get us breakfast.”
Elise balked at her tone. As if nothing had happened between them last night. Like they hadn’t shared everything. She stared at Nessa. Could she really be this clueless? Could last night truly have meant nothing to her?
There it was. The pounding of her rage beginning to sound. She grabbed onto the pillow and squeezed. “I mean that you are being equally thoughtless and dumb as the old cliché of a country wench. I thought you were better than that.”
That seemed to wake Nessa up. She stared straight into Elise’s eyes. “What did you just call me?”
“Thoughtless and dumb.”
Nessa sat up. Elise tried her best not to look at her body, which she had fallen in love with last night. Almost as much as she had fallen in love with Nessa’s heart and soul this past fortnight.
Nessa looked confused at first. Hurt maybe. Then she scowled, maintaining eye contact. “I see. And what were your reasons for that? Other than becoming belligerent when you’re hungover and hungry. Is it that I refuse to be late for work, or even skip work, and risk losing my apprenticeship? Surely whatever conversation you think we should have can wait until we come home. It can’t be that important.”
Elise’s head now felt like it was filled with more pain and rage than brains.
“How can you sit there and say that? After what we shared last night? After what you allowed me to see? To be the first to make you… and… and… to see you so vulnerable,” Elise spluttered.
She knew she wasn’t making sense, but she was just one ridiculous comment away from being overcome with rage.
Gods help us then, because I will certainly say things we shall both regret.
Nessa pursed her lips. “I don’t understand your meaning. What’s made you angry this time? Was it something I said last night? I was horribly drunk and may have run my mouth. I’m sure there’s quite a bit I have forgotten.”
Elise jumped up, not caring about the cold of the room against her naked body. She only cared about shaking some sense into the frowning woman on the bed.
“Nessa. I know you are clueless about how things work in the world, but surely you cannot be so clueless that you have not seen what has been happening here? Everyone sees it! You must see it.”
“I ‘must’ nothing. Don’t tell me what I see and don’t try to muddle my mind by saying that everyone sees something I don’t. Especially not when it’s fogged over by drink and sleep. It’s not fair,” Nessa shouted, her hands balling into fists at her sides.
A little voice of spite and hurt in Elise’s head told her that she had hit a nerve and that she should continue. “I am not muddling your mind. But if you cannot handle conversations of this calibre, perhaps you should go back to Ground Hollow where things are simpler?”
“What? Is that what this is about? You don’t believe I fit in? Because I won’t play whatever game this is, I don’t fit in here?” Nessa’s increasingly loud voice cracked.
“Perhaps not. Maybe you are not ready to leave the sweet and innocent Ground Hollow. But…” Elise paused for effect, her rage driving her on. “You know what, while you are clueless as a child about these things, you are not that dumb. So what is it, Nessa? Are you afraid? Is that what this is? You are ignoring what is growing between us because you are frightened?”
Nessa blanched, mouth open. “What? Growing between us? Stop. Do you mean wanting to bed me? You are the one acting strangely all the time. Furthermore, what have I done to deserve this abuse? What in the name of the gods gives you the right to speak to me like that?” Nessa stood up, too, facing Elise. “I’m not scared, little Miss Noble. I’m realistic. I might not be worldly, but at least I live in the real world.”
“Pardon?” Elise managed to get out between clenched jaws.
“I live in the real world and see things for what they are. You live in som
e sort of courtly fantasy and don’t see what is happening here.”
Nessa crossed her arms over her chest, seeming to want that to sink in before she continued. “What’s happening is that the spoiled lady who likes new conquests and adventures ran into something new – a person who wouldn’t simply jump into bed at the first flirty blink of those golden eyes.”
Elise tried to break in to protest, but Nessa raised her voice, continuing her tirade. “So you became interested because you found something you couldn’t just have in an instant. Well, now you have it. We’ve lain together. That was what you wanted, right? That’s all you ever want. Pretty distractions and meaningless bedplay? That’s fine. It’s not what I want, though. I am built for serious relationships where connection comes first and bedplay later. But you like shiny new things, and having those things between your legs. Well, you succeeded. So why in the names of the gods are you insulting me now?”
Elise stared at her, feeling her temples begin to throb. For once in her life she was lost for words. All her muscles tensed and she felt her breathing rush through tightly shut lips. If her quick temper had caused her to lash out before, every little stopper now popped out. Everything and anything was fair game now.
“You are wrong, you know. You are afraid. You are terrified of everything. That is why you stayed on your parents’ farm. For selfish reasons. Not because you wanted to help them, that was purely a convenient lie! You delayed starting your life because you were frightened.”
Nessa grew even paler and took a step back, so Elise advanced and kept speaking. “And that is why you are not seeing what has grown between us. That is why you call it ‘just friendship.’ Just travelling together. Just sharing a room to save coin. Just bedplay. That is oxen-shit and you know it! You know there is more between us. You know there is more to me than some rich, spoiled brat who wants to play with you.”
Elise heard her voice break and how weak it made her sound, but carried on. “I liked you because you knew that! I connected with you because you looked at me and saw the real me, not some pretty lass to sleep with or some rebel to go on adventures with, like others do. You saw more in me. I felt it. Now who is telling the other one that they are imagining things? Who is muddling the other’s mind, huh?”
Making a Tinderbox (The Tinderbox Tales Book 1) Page 24
