by Gemma Holden
She dove down. She could pretend that she wasn’t crying underwater. She slipped back through the tunnel to her cave. She pulled herself up onto the ledge and lay back so that the water reached up to her neck and lapped around her like a blanket. No one knew where she was. She didn’t even know what she was now. She had to find a way to get her legs back, but how?
Chapter Nine
Lorelei watched in the mirror as Hanna carefully curled her hair into ringlets. Earlier, the girl had helped her into a cream dress. Low cut, with a high waist, the style was quite different from the dress she had been wearing when she had first left the river. Fashions had changed so much over the years.
“There,” Hanna said, moving away. “Do you like it?”
Lorelei examined herself carefully in the mirror. Her golden hair was piled high on her head and threaded with ribbon. Usually, she preferred to wear her hair loose. She wished she still had her comb, but she had given it to Adrianna.
“Do you think Christian will like it?” she asked.
“I’m sure he will.”
Lorelei beamed at the girl. That was all that mattered. Christian had spent the day searching for Adrianna again, but Her Highness had announced earlier that he would be dining with them tonight. Lorelei had spent the entire day waiting for this evening to arrive.
Eager to see him, she went down, taking each step carefully. The pain in her legs still hadn’t gone. It hurt whenever she was on her feet, but she walked as little as possible and sat as soon as she could.
Christian waited at the bottom of the stairs, dressed in a black jacket and cream breeches tucked into black polished boots. He seemed different compared to when she had seen him by the river. His manner was more reserved and distant. His dark brown hair fell over his forehead. She longed to rub the silky strands between her fingers. She had to clench her hands to stop herself reaching up to touch him.
He bowed to her and offered her his arm. “You look lovely,” he murmured.
Lorelei’s heart squeezed. She thought it would burst from her chest. She wanted to tell him how much she loved him; how she had always loved him from the first moment she had seen him, but she couldn’t speak. She could only smile up at him.
The other man, the small fat bald one, came downstairs with Christian’s mother on his arm. Her Highness wore a cream dress in the same style as Lorelei’s, but with a diamond and sapphire necklace.
They went into dinner first. Christian and Lorelei followed behind them. Christian pulled out her chair. Her gaze followed him as he took the seat at the head of the table.
Servants brought out bowls filled with coloured hot water. She copied Christian as he picked up a spoon.
“Has there been any more news about the missing girl?” Her Highness asked.
“We’ve called off the search,” Christian said. “It’s been two days since she went missing. We’re not going to find her.”
Her Highness reached over to place her gloved hand over the small fat man’s. “I’m sorry,” she said.
He smiled sadly at her. “I haven’t given up hope yet. She could still be found.” He cleared his throat and turned to Lorelei. “Has your memory returned yet, mademoiselle?”
Lorelei paused with the spoon halfway to her mouth. She felt Christian’s gaze on her. “Not yet,” she said.
“Perhaps we shouldn’t focus on what you have forgotten, but on what you can remember. Is there anything you can recall about the time before you woke up on the riverbank? Anything at all?”
She remembered little about her life before the Count had found her and brought her to the river. She remembered the sea and watching the ships with her sisters, but they were just a distant memory to her now. She couldn’t even recall their faces.
“I only remember being in the river and then coming here.” Tears welled in her eyes.
Christian reached out and gently put his hand over hers. He squeezed her fingers. “It will come back.” His voice was warm and gentle.
Lorelei couldn’t speak. She could feel the warmth from his fingers. She wanted to cry out when he took his hand away.
“Are you sure you didn’t see a girl by the river? A girl with brown hair, slightly taller than you,” the horrible man asked.
They were asking about Adrianna again. Lorelei gripped her spoon. “No. I didn’t see anyone else.”
He watched her carefully. She didn’t like the way he looked at her. His small watery-blue eyes were like an eels. She could tell that he didn’t believe her. She fought down her rising panic. There was no way he could know what she really was.
“That’s enough, Gaspard,” Christian said, a warning in his voice.
Gaspard bowed his head. “Forgive me, mademoiselle.”
Servants brought out more plates of food in a steady stream. She had scarcely finished one plate before another was placed before her. She had never seen so much food before or tasted so many things. She didn’t have the words to name all of the things she ate. There was dark meat in a rich sauce, tiny eggs and small green balls that rolled off her fork every time she raised it to her mouth.
“We will have to get Lorelei a dress made for the ball,” Christian’s mother said when they were waiting for the servants to remove the plates and place yet another dish before them.
“A ball?” Lorelei asked.
“Yes, to celebrate Christian’s birthday.”
The Count had told her that a ball was a round shape that you threw. It was strange that you would need a dress made for it.
When the plates had been taken away for the last time, Her Highness rose from the table. “Come, Lorelei.” Frowning, Lorelei followed her from the room and into the drawing room. Her Highness patted the seat next to her. “The men will be along in a moment.”
Lorelei sat down. “But why can’t we stay with them?”
“It’s just how things are done.”
The men joined them shortly. She stood up as Christian came in. Christian bowed to her and continued to stand. He seemed to be waiting for something. She sat down and only then did Christian sit.
A servant came in. Lorelei stood up as she had seen Christian do when she entered the room. Looking amused, Christian stood. The maid left and she sat down. Christian sat as well.
“Lorelei, you don’t need to stand when someone comes into the room,” Christian’s mother said to her softly.
“But Christian stands.”
“Yes, but he doesn’t stand when servants come into a room.”
“Why not?”
“Because they are servants.”
“But he stood just then.”
“Yes, but only because you had stood.”
“Leave her be, mother,” Christian said, smiling. “She’s not causing any harm.”
Sitting there across from Christian, Lorelei had never been so content. She was trying to follow their rules for him, even if she didn’t understand them. A footman came in. She rose before she remembered. Christian stood as well, amusement flashing in his deep blue eyes. She waited for the footman to leave before she sat. Christian sat down as well. He smiled at her. It was a game between them. A private joke only they shared. She had never been so happy.
~~~~~
Adrianna woke to water dripping onto her face. She sat up and looked down at her tail. It was still there. She stretched out her tail, feeling the muscles ache. She hurt in places she had never hurt before, but then she had been moving in a way she had never moved before.
She used Lorelei’s golden comb to tease out the knots and tangles from her hair and then left it loose down her back. She drank some of the rain water from the golden bowl and then forced herself to eat an apple. She didn’t know what to do now. What did mermaids do all day, she wondered? Eventually, she ducked under and followed the tunnel out to the river. It was easier moving her tail now that she had stopped trying to move as if she still had legs.
She put her head above the water slowly, careful to stay near the cliffs and out of
sight. The position of the sun told her it was nearly midday. She had never slept this late before; there were always chores to be done. Her mother had no one to help her with the chores now. She made herself look at the town. She felt a tightness in her chest at the thought that she was so close and yet she couldn’t go back there. She forced herself to stay and watch. Looking at it didn’t hurt as much as it did yesterday. It would get easier with time. But she didn’t want to get used to being a mermaid. She wanted her legs back. The thought of staying like this forever filled her with despair.
A barge headed down the river. She ducked under the water and kicked down with her tail and watched the long shadow move above her. There were smaller shadows for the fishing boats. She swam up and touched the bottom of one of the boats, avoiding the nets that had been thrown into the water. Carefully, she put her head above the water, staying close to the boat so the fishermen wouldn’t see her. The men were from St Goar and they said little. One made the occasional comment, while the other grunted in response, but it was a relief just being near other people. When she went back under, she pulled their nets into a better position to catch the fish.
She swam down to the riverbed. Wreckages of ships lay half-buried in the sediment. She sifted through the silt. She found glass bottles, a dented jug, and several coins. Inside the hull of a wreckage, she found bones. They had been picked clean by the fish. She shuddered and darted back to the tunnel and slipped back to the safety of her cave. Eventually, she realised she was being silly and came out and went back to see what else she could find.
She ripped fabric from her dress to wrap up her finds and then tied the bundle around her waist. She took her treasures back to her cave, pushing the bundle through ahead of her. She unwrapped them and carefully cleaned off the dirt and then placed them on the shelf with Lorelei’s.
She was soon bored again. She swam over to the town to see what they were doing. A figure stood by the riverbank at the very edge of the river. Adrianna knew who it was before she saw her clearly. She swam closer. Her mother stood looking out at the river, an old shawl wrapped around her shoulders. She was all alone in the world now. For a few hours, she had almost forgotten that she wasn’t meant to be a mermaid, that she was a girl. She had forgotten about her mother.
Her heart heavy, she fled back to her little cave. She looked at the things she had found and with the sweep of her hand, she knocked them into the water. What had she been doing? Was that how she was going to spend the rest of her life? Sifting through the riverbed, looking for things lost to the river. She should be trying to find a way to get her legs back. She was trapped here in the river, as she had been trapped in the town. She had exchanged one prison for another.
~~~~~
Gaspard hated riding. He disliked horses. They were too far away from the ground and had a tendency to ignore his commands, breaking into a canter when he only wanted to trot and refusing to stop even after he pulled desperately on the reins. He preferred his feet to be firmly on the ground. But, after waking that morning to find that his belt buckle had to be moved on an extra notch, he had decided that he needed some exercise.
He had been out riding with Christian when he had first met Adrianna. It was not long after they had come to stay at the castle. Christian had ridden on ahead as usual and left him far behind. Deciding to walk the rest of the way, he had come across Adrianna walking along the riverbank. He often met her on his excursions after that. She had been so eager to hear about his life in Paris before the revolution. She drank in his stories and made him feel useful.
He wouldn’t meet her today, he thought sadly. He felt like he had failed her. He should have made Christian carry on with the search. He knew Adrianna hadn’t been happy here in the town. She wanted more from her life. He had intended to help her if he could. He had received a letter only that morning from a friend of his in France, saying she would welcome a companion. He had delayed writing back, hoping that Adrianna still might be found, but he could delay it no longer.
A figure stood dangerously close to the river’s edge. Concerned, he hurriedly reined in his horse. He climbed stiffly down and tied the mare to a small sapling.
He took off his hat as he approached her. “Frau Netal,” he said.
Adrianna’s mother didn’t turn to face him. She starred out at the river, like one lost in a dream. She looked far older than when he had seen her last. Wisps of hair had come loose from her braid and the grey that had only dusted her hair now streaked the roots.
“Monsieur Gaspard,” she eventually said, finally noticing him. Her voice sounded empty and hollow.
They stood in silence, looking out at the river. It was a lovely afternoon, but he knew from experience there would be no more lovely afternoons for her.
He fingered the rim of his hat, trying to think of something to say that wouldn’t increase her pain. “I wanted to tell you how sorry I am,” he said at last, “for your loss.”
She didn’t look at him as she answered. “Thank you.”
“If there is anything that I can do, some way I can be of service, you have only to ask.” She said nothing. He wondered if she had even heard him. “I will take my leave.”
“She knows,” she said suddenly. He turned back to her. She had always been thin from lack of food, but now her face was gaunt, her eyes sunken. “The girl from the river. She knows what happened to Adrianna.”
“Lorelei is adamant that she saw no one,” Gaspard said.
Frau Netal turned back to stare out at the river. “The song. How could she have known the song?” She seemed to be speaking more to herself than to him.
“I don’t understand.”
“When she first appeared from the river, I heard her singing. She was singing the same song Adrianna had been singing only a few hours earlier. How could she have known it?”
Gaspard hesitated. “You’re certain it was the same song?”
“Yes. She knows what happened to Adrianna. I know she does.”
Gaspard bowed his head. He had thought the circumstances too strange to be a coincidence. Lorelei seemed so naïve and innocent; it was impossible to think that she could be involved in Adrianna’s disappearance. But Adrianna was his friend. There was nothing that he wouldn’t do for her.
“I will look into it,” he said at last.
“Thank you. Adrianna thought so much of you.”
He took his leave of Frau Netal and mounted his horse and rode back to the castle, his mind in turmoil. Lorelei was a guest at the castle. Princess Marie, Christian’s mother, had invited Lorelei to stay herself. He couldn’t do anything to risk upsetting her, but he had promised Adrianna’s mother that he would look into it.
A boy came to take his horse as he dismounted. He made his way inside the castle and was halfway up the staircase when he heard the faint sound of singing. He paused to listen and then came back down the stairs and followed it through the castle, the music drawing him. Lorelei stood by a window, humming softly to herself as she combed her hair with her fingers. Sunlight streamed in, turning her blonde hair to gold and making her glow like an angel. Her voice was lovely and pure, almost inhuman in its beauty. Suddenly, she broke off her song and turned, somehow sensing him watching her.
“That’s a beautiful song, mademoiselle,” he said. “You have a lovely voice.”
She watched him warily. “Thank you.”
“I haven’t heard that song before. Where did you learn it?”
She hummed a few notes. She looked out at the river with what he thought was longing. “I learnt it from my sisters, a long time ago. They loved to sing.”
“You are starting to remember then?”
Her hand stilled. “No.”
“I see.” He didn’t want to try and catch her out. If she did remember who she was, what reason could she have for lying to them? “If you will excuse me.” Feeling troubled, he left her.
That evening at dinner, he watched her carefully. The way she looked at Christian worr
ied him. She copied his actions, only picking up her knife and fork when he did and setting them down when he was finished. She laughed when he laughed, smiled when he smiled. Her attention seemed fixed on Christian and no one else.
After dinner, they retired to the drawing room. Gaspard splashed some brandy into a glass and stood before the fire, his back to the others. Lorelei was a mystery. Nothing about her made sense. From her milky white skin and soft hands, she had obviously been born to wealth and privilege. And yet, she didn’t know which knife to use at dinner or the correct way to treat servants. The green dress she had been wearing when she was found was decades out of fashion. Perhaps he was seeing what he wanted to see. Adrianna was dead. He had to accept that.
“You should go to bed,” Marie said to Lorelei. “You’re still recovering from your ordeal.”
“I’m not tired,” Lorelei said. She looked anxiously at Christian as she spoke.
“I think I shall retire as well,” Christian said, rising from his chair.
Once Christian left, Lorelei went willingly to bed. Marie drew the doors shut behind them. “You’ve been quiet tonight,” she said to Gaspard.
Gaspard slowly sipped his brandy. “I saw Adrianna’s mother this afternoon.”
“How is she?” Marie asked, resuming her seat on the sofa.
“Not well, but that’s to be expected after losing a child.” He swirled the brandy in his glass, watching the flames dance in the fire through the golden liquid. “She’s convinced that Lorelei knows what happened to Adrianna. She said that she heard Lorelei singing after she appeared from the river. It was the same song that Adrianna had been singing that morning.”
“What are you saying? That because Lorelei was singing a song, that means she must somehow be responsible?”
“It’s too much of a coincidence that she should appear on the same day that Adrianna suddenly vanishes.”
“You cannot believe that Lorelei had anything to do with that girl’s disappearance. I will not have you making such a suggestion.”
