by S. L. Wright
I couldn’t live that way anymore, so no wonder I was at odds with Shock. I had to be strong and defend myself. I had been stuck in a cocoon spun by Vex, safe and warm and utterly dead to the world. Shock had her work and I had my bar, but there was a lot more to life than that.
I let Shock know I was taking her seriously by calling Revel when she was nearby and could listen in. Shock had already filled him in on what had happened since we left his apartment yesterday, but I had to endure another round of his offers to help up to and including buying me my own fortress in the sky like his penthouse on Park Avenue.
Revel had always gotten off on giving me things. And I had resisted him with all my might for the past ten years, ever since I had found out that he had seduced me into loving him on Vex’s orders. He’d been my first love. And it had been wonderful—empowering, exciting, with everything at my fingertips bound up in one amazing man. It was too bad it was all a lie. You might say I’d never gotten over it. Not until this week, when Revel had turned out to be one of my staunchest allies in a time of absolute need.
That said something. I didn’t have many friends, but I could now say that Revel was one of them.
“You can’t possibly keep working in that dive,” Revel drawled through the phone. “It’s a death trap.”
I rolled my eyes, but Shock could hear his insistence and pointedly agreed, “I’m all for shutting the place down for good!”
“You can come live here for a while, until things calm down,” Revel said. “You can’t trust Dread or Glory, Allay. They’ll smash you flat if it suits them.”
“Has Dread contacted you?” I asked.
“Yes, he made me the same offer he made you—I cooperate with him and he’ll make sure Goad’s line leaves me alone.”
“Why isn’t Goad ousting Dread altogether? He’s the head of his own line—there must be over thirty goons who would do what he says, with or without Dread.”
“I’m not sure, but I think it has something to do with the church. Dread has a lot of real-world power with the Fellowship. The bigger his church grows, the more influence he has.”
“Dread says he likes being the power behind the throne. Who else other than Goad could be the figurehead?”
Revel paused, considering it. “Goad is even older than me, but he’s never impressed me much. If anything, I could see Goad handing over ultimate control of his line to Dread because he doesn’t know what to do with it. He had impulse control issues—he likes immediate pleasure, and that’s about it.”
“He’s creepy, a cockroach.” I scrubbed at the place on my cheek where Goad had pushed his finger into me. “I doubt he could pull off anything big.”
“There are too many things we don’t know,” Revel said. “Everything’s changed now, not the least of which is Ram. Why has he decided to come out now? Why did he unbalance the power structure by killing Vex?”
“That’s why I called you, to find out. Are you having any luck on your research?” I had asked Revel to find out what he could about Ram in his historical documents.
“I’ve filled out the backstories in the myths and legends that I believe reference him. I can send it over to you now.”
“Anything on Hope?” I tried to ask casually.
“One of my contacts says he has a line on a fifth-century Persian scroll. It’s very rare—the Greeks were the victors and their version of history survived. But this scroll contains a nearly complete tale about a woman who became a goddess living ‘half in the light and half in darkness.’ It predates the Persephone myth.”
“What does it say?”
“I’m trying to buy the scroll so I can find out. I’ll probably have to go to Uzbekistan to get it. I’m the only one who can verify its authenticity before I pay that much money.”
Revel was over a thousand years old and was undoubtedly the world’s foremost expert on old manuscripts. “When are you going?”
“Maybe as soon as this evening. From what my contact says, this text may hold the key to Ram. While I’m gone, you and Shock should come stay here. And Bliss, if you want.”
I shot Shock a look. She must have told Revel everything. A few days ago, that would have felt like a betrayal.
“Thanks, but I’m staying here,” I told him. “But if Shock wants to ...” Shock turned away, clearly irritated. So I told Revel, “Let me know when you get back.”
We opened up the bar, speaking to each other only when necessary.
The regulars appeared like magic and were overly grateful that I had reopened the bar. I dabbled in their relief, not absorbing much of anything because I was already wallowing in the energy that Ram had given me. It felt great to be all charged up and able to protect my people, my bar, my territory, without having to sap them of their energy.
Bliss sat down with every one of them, introducing herself as my friend from Orange County. Using my memories, she deftly inserted herself into my childhood, even telling a few funny stories about my past. More than I had ever told my patrons before. She fed off them while she did it, but I kept a careful eye on her to make sure she didn’t take too much from any one person.
Shock plunked herself down on the back corner barstool and gloomily stared at the liquor bottles along the back wall. Even when happy hour picked up and a flood of people were dropping by to ask why we had been closed for two days, she ignored everything. I left her alone, thinking it would be best. Besides, we were too busy and I didn’t have time to draw her out of her funk.
Then my mouth started watering, and I swallowed a few times. Savor. Her signature was a very subtle warning, just before she appeared as Sebastian, her favorite male guise. He was an elf of a man, slender and young with black hair spiked up carefully. He was also knowing, sarcastic, and smug, with a drawl that could cut steel.
Savor strutted over to the bar as if he were on a catwalk. His cheeky grin said he expected to be welcomed. But Dread had found out about my agreement with Glory somehow. I was betting the informant was Savor.
“Hi, Allay. I heard the bar was open and I just had to come in.” Savor glanced toward the open door to the back room at the end of the bar. “Where’s Lolita?”
“I haven’t called the employees back yet.” I lowered my voice. “I’m not sure if it’s safe.” I didn’t actually believe that, but I wanted to see Savor’s reaction.
“You think you’re going to be attacked?”
“The police haven’t found out who shot up my bar. It could happen again.”
Savor pooh-poohed me, flapping his hand at me. “It was Vex. Everyone knows that. He was trying to frighten you back into the fold. You ran to him the first time because someone got into the bar and nearly killed Shock.”
“Did Dread tell you that?” Savor was Dread’s messenger, with a finger in every pie.
“Mmm-hmm. ...”
Dread was really making sure I heard the message that Vex had shot my bar. But it was having the opposite effect—and I was left wondering who had really done the deed. Was it someone Dread was protecting?
But I had other things to talk to Savor about. “Did you tell Dread about my agreement with Glory?”
“Girl, I didn’t have to. Stun sensed you inside Crave’s house, and he told everyone that you warned the Glory demons. They were saying you had an agreement with her long before I know you made one.”
Now I didn’t know what to believe. I had distrusted Savor for so long that it was hard to believe him now. He was shifty by nature, first a man, then a woman, then another man. He tried on personas like changing jackets. Clearly his loyalties were also ever-shifting. Wasn’t that the definition of a double agent?
But Savor dropped the exaggerated speech, looking me square in the eye. “I gave you something on me, Allay. I thought that would help you trust me. I see I was wrong.”
“I trust people who stand by me in a crisis.”
“Like Revel? Your trusty progenitor?” Savor leaned closer. “I could tell you a thing or two about Rev
el.”
I wasn’t sure I believed anything he said, but I had to bite. “Like what?”
“Vex ordered Revel to make a possessed human—you. Revel betrayed Plea, his own offspring. He lured her to the beach that night and sucked her almost dry. Then he left her like bait for some poor teenager to find. It was Vex’s plan, but Revel is the one who did it.”
I looked over sharply at Shock. “Shock never told me that.”
“I don’t think she knows. But I was there that day to make sure Revel carried out his orders.”
A memory surfaced in spite of myself, Plea greeting Revel with a happy, trusting smile. There was the crash of the waves in the background, as Revel took my/Plea’s hand. Then he started drawing on my/Plea’s energy. I knew it the moment he started—betrayed...
I was betrayed.
It staggered me. I had just started believing in Revel again. I was tempted to call him to demand the truth, but he had sent a text earlier saying he was at JFK Airport leaving for Uzbekistan, but his boy Ki would let me into the penthouse any time I wanted.
I couldn’t let Savor know how badly he had upset me. “That just proves I can’t trust any of you. I mean, would you trust yourself, Savor?”
His smooth Sebastian guise slipped back into place. “Honey, I don’t trust anyone.”
“Then why are you here?”
His smug smile said it all. “My employers told me to drop around and see who shows up. I’m supposed to check out the new girl.”
“Dread or Glory?”
“Does it matter?” He sniffed at Bliss, who was behind the bar, working hard to keep up with the ten-o’clock bump. “Looks like the spitting image of her dear mammy. But with better hair.”
“Seriously, Savor. Stop spying on me.”
“I only report what you ain’t got to hide.” Savor gave a high-pitched laugh. “A girl’s got to earn a living.”
Somehow I doubted that money was the only reason Savor played his dangerous games. But Bliss was definitely in need of a hand, so I couldn’t talk anymore. Savor hung out for a while, watching everything and talking to my patrons. He touched a few of them, feeding right in front of me. I gritted my teeth and didn’t say anything. I didn’t have anything concrete against him, and I could use all the allies I could get.
Savor tried to speak to Shock, but she brushed him off. I hadn’t told her that Savor was also working for Glory—that wasn’t my secret to tell. So she treated him as I always had: a bottom-feeder who ran Dread’s most unsavory errands.
Eventually Savor left, giving me a jaunty wave. Not long after that, I felt Goad’s signature at the fringes of my senses. It stung like needles against my skin, then eased off as he pulled back. Then it happened again. And again. Like he was testing to see where my boundaries lay. He must have a longer reach than I, seeing as he was one of the oldest demons around.
Shock went and stood near the door. Even Bliss went on alert, the most serious I had ever seen her. She, too, remembered the way Goad had touched my cheek.
Then he was gone. But we were all on edge now. I was glad to have work to distract me. I had been ready to call Lolita to ask her to come back to work tomorrow, and bring my cats home, but I felt less inclined now. I wanted to let things settle a bit.
Over the next hour, Goad returned again and again from all different directions, never coming very close, sometimes alone and sometimes with Stun. I finally went over to Shock. “What do you think it means?”
“He’s trying to drive you out.”
“But I always go barricade myself upstairs when a demon comes after me.”
“What about the other night, with Pique?” Her frown was speculative.
“Okay, except for that one time.”
“Don’t give me that, Allay. You ran around this neighborhood like you were superdemon, saving all of your customers.”
“Only some of them.” I liked her image of myself much better than the one in my own mind—huddled upstairs hiding from demons, exposing everyone close to me, making them vulnerable by my presence. It was why I kept away from my family and didn’t even go home for visits.
“Do you think I should close up?” I asked her.
Shock sighed. “They’re less likely to try anything in front of a crowd.”
I could feel Goad’s stinging signature racing across my body, even with Shock standing so close. “I’m not going to sit here and take this!”
I marched around the bar to the back wall. Bliss was sitting sideways on the cooler to get closer to a young engineer who lived up the avenue. She was stroking his arm, looking into his eyes, breaking off only to pour another beer or shot of vodka at the patrons’ requests.
I picked up the phone and dialed Dread. His secretary, June, answered promptly of course, even at eleven p.m., her perky friendliness intact. “Ms. Meyers, how nice to speak to you again. The prophet said you’re to be put through to him at any time. Please hold while I page him.”
I could just imagine her smile, designed to show off her pink braces. I wondered how much she knew about what had happened to me and Ram in the Prophet’s Center. She was human, but wore a guise as surely as any demon, hiding herself behind a petite, perky facade. There had to be more to her or Dread wouldn’t keep her so close to himself. Unless she was as clueless as she appeared to be, so he could more easily hide his double life.
“What is it, Allay?” Dread said in greeting.
Equally as brusque, I retorted, “Why is Goad circling my bar?”
He let out a sigh of frustration. “I’ll call him off. But you have to stick to your end of the bargain, Allay.”
I knew Dread was a busy man, but he was being much more dismissive than earlier. “I did! I told the cops about us, like we agreed.”
“I know, I had an interview with your Lieutenant Markman. I’m talking about Phil Anchor and the threats you made to expose him.”
That got my attention. “Phil? You can’t be serious. You aren’t listening to that loony.”
“Why not? You threatened Mackleby and then you threatened Anchor. You’re getting very comfortable throwing around words like ‘blackmail’ and ‘bribes,’ Allay.”
I couldn’t believe that Phil Anchor, of all people, was causing me problems. Twenty years ago he might have been a famous journalist, but he had been the church’s hand puppet ever since I started working for Vex and passing him his payola.
I faced the wall of shelves holding the liquor so nobody could hear me. “Dread, it was nothing. Phil came at me the other day, poking his finger in my face, claiming I’d stolen his drop. He was acting insane and I just wanted him off me. I didn’t mean it. I told him I didn’t mean it. But he was bingeing on coke and out of his mind.”
“I can’t have you threatening my people, Allay. All agreements are off if it happens again. Understand?”
“Well, then you better keep Goad off my back.”
Dread hesitated. “Goad is . . . problematic at the moment.”
“You don’t have control over him? You said you did.”
“He’s considering his options. I’m in no position to deny him that.”
I rolled my eyes. “So you can’t keep the Vex demons away from me? That means you can’t hold up your side of the bargain, Dread.”
“He knows I won’t abide him touching you.” I remembered Dread’s spike of lust when he saw me, and hoped that was true. “But he may not stay away from your friends. I wish I could do more, Allay. That’s the honest truth. I intend to regain control of Goad and his line very soon, in a few days at the most.”
I wished we were in the same room together so I could better judge his feelings. “That’s not what we agreed,” I said, hanging up abruptly. He had manufactured his little outrage over Phil Anchor in order to distract me from the fact that he had lied about being able to control Goad’s horde.
Quietly, Shock came up behind me. “You can’t make deals with Dread, Allay. You just broke free of them. Don’t get sucked back i
n. You’ll hate yourself if you do.”
“I know.” They had destroyed Phil Anchor, turning him into an aging caricature of the dashing man he had once been. “Goad’s gone rogue. We have to be careful.”
“That’s what I’ve been saying.”
“You were under Dread’s protection, too,” I reminded her.
“Only because I decided to stay and keep an eye on you. And Vex didn’t know that I would do that anyway, no matter what he promised me.”
I smiled at Shock. “I know. That was why I went to Vex, to find a way to protect you.”
“Too bad it was your boyfriend who wanted me dead.”
My smile froze, then faded. “Shock . . . Ram admitted it was a mistake to attack you. He’s not going to do it again. You should try to get to know him before you judge him.”
She gestured. “Show me which one is Ram, and I’ll have a nice chat with him.”
Startled, I looked around. “He’s not here. At least, I haven’t sensed him.”
“But if you didn’t touch him, you wouldn’t know, right?”
I remembered how little I had felt from him earlier—not until I touched him could I sense his distinctive energy. “Probably not. But why would he hide from me?”
“Because he can.”
With that, she turned on her heel and retreated to her solitary seat, pretending to drink a rum and Coke. She wouldn’t meet my eye, but she continued to sweep a suspicious gaze over my patrons.
I sighed and made another round wiping down the tables, picking up empty glasses, and piling them on my tray. I wished I could tell Shock the truth—that I was disappointed Ram hadn’t returned yet. I almost wished he was here keeping a low profile instead of staying away. What did that say about my judgment?
