by S. L. Wright
Next to me Mystify murmured, “This city was made for me.”
“More than enough confusion to go around,” I agreed.
He gave me a look. “I like the intensity of it. Too much of everything makes life interesting.”
In spite of his blunt come-on earlier, I liked Mystify. “Would you like to come back to the bar?” I impulsively asked.
“I showed you mine, now you show me yours?” he laughed.
“I’m not asking you to go to bed with me, Mystify.” I tried, but I couldn’t be mad. He was so unabashed in his pursuit. “I’d like you to meet Shock. She should be getting off work soon.”
“What about Ram?”
“What do you mean?”
“Is he going to be there?”
“I invited him to come to the bar yesterday, but he didn’t.”
“He’ll be there. He won’t be able to let you alone for long. I’m surprised he hasn’t popped up already.”
I did my best not to look around me to see if we were being watched. “You make it sound inevitable.”
“I hate to see you swallowed up by him. He subsumes everyone he comes in contact with.”
“But I thought he was isolated. He’s stayed away from other demons for so long.”
“He has relationships with humans. You don’t think he’s lived completely alone all these years? He’d be more insane than he already is.” Mystify rolled his eyes. “Ram has a girlfriend who lives in Williamsburg, not far from the Prophet’s Center, in fact. And there’s another girl who he’s been seeing even longer, Sasha. She calls him whenever she wants sex. She’s really good at playing his game, but secretly she’s hoping he’ll fall in love with her. It’s been going on for so long that she’ll never look at another man.”
“Oh.” Why did that hurt so much? It’s exactly what I thought of his Theo Ram persona: a philanderer who played with women but never settled down. I had gone into this with my eyes open, thinking it would be a one-night stand—a moment I could seize in the darkness. Then let go.
Now I didn’t know what I wanted from Ram. Except I wanted to hear everything Mystify could tell me. “So he has an apartment? A life beyond all the demon-slaying?”
“He’s got several apartments and he lives lots of different lives, depending on his needs at the moment. That’s what you don’t get, Allay. He’s used to doing whatever he wants, taking whatever he wants. He has enough wealth that he could buy Wells Fargo tomorrow, if he wanted to. There’s no stopping a guy with that kind of power. He’ll tuck you into a corner of his life, like he does with everyone and everything he acquires, and what you want won’t matter anymore.”
Mystify reached out to rub my arm, taking some of the confusion that flooded me at his words. His lips parted and his eyes half closed in satisfaction.
I moved away. “How can I trust anything you say when you’re trying to baffle me so you can feed?”
He licked his lips. “That’s just a side benefit of telling you the truth. I can’t help being drawn to how you’re feeling. You don’t want to believe that he’s no good.”
No, I didn’t. Even though I knew it was true. What kind of a man—or demon—would spend two thousand years culling his own offspring’s offspring? True, he was doing it to rid the world of bad demons. But still . . .
Crave and Bliss returned; his expression was thunderous. “My credit cards have been declined. And my phone no longer works.”
“It’s Glory,” Bliss said artlessly. “She’s cut him off.”
“Glory pays your phone bill?” I asked in surprise.
Crave swore under his breath. “I let her people set up my corporation, my finances, everything. I never thought she would do something like this.”
“That was pretty dumb,” Mystify said.
I shushed him. “Don’t tell me that everything is in her name.”
“Everything. Including my house. And my business.”
Mystify gave a derisive laugh. “Even dumber.”
Crave rounded on him, grabbing his upraised arm. Sparks flew from their contact, and they staggered back into the railing over the mezzanine with a loud bang. People turned to look from all over the lobby.
I waded in between them, trying to fend them off from each other. Crave hit me before he could pull his punch, and his fist glanced off my shoulder. Mystify disengaged the instant he realized I was between them.
“Stop it, both of you.” I rubbed my shoulder as it quickly healed.
Crave was breathing fast. “I have to go to my shop. I have to see how far she’s taking this charade of hers.”
“What are you waiting for?” Mystify retorted. “Nobody’s stopping you.”
Bliss went to Crave, molding her body against his, trying to silently comfort him. “We’ll all go,” I insisted. “It’s safer if we stick together.” To cut off Mystify’s protest, I told him, “Come on, let’s get a cab.”
Madison Avenue was fairly quiet so early in the morning. But a locksmith’s truck was parked at the curb and two men were neatly packing away their gear.
“Hey!” Crave shouted, jumping from the cab as it was still moving.
The cabbie cursed words I didn’t understand, but the meaning was clear. I flung a bill over the front seat and we all ran after Crave.
The truck pulled away and made the light at Fifth Avenue. Crave couldn’t catch up.
When he returned to his shop, we already knew what we would find. None of his keys worked.
His aura was a dense rainbow of conflicting emotions—pain, fear, humiliation, anger, with a healthy dose of bravado. He had to buck up in front of his girl. Not that she was the judgmental type. She stayed close to him.
“Has Glory ever done this to you before?” I asked.
He shot me a look. “No. I would have taken precautions if I ever thought it was possible.”
I winced. “Not good.”
Crave couldn’t seem to tear himself away, lingering by the door. “My treasures are in there,” he said quietly to her. “My best pieces, the finest jewelry I ever created.”
There must be millions of dollars worth of gems and equipment in his shop. “You never set up a safe-deposit box? Siphoned off a few diamonds as a safety net?”
“No,” he said through clenched teeth.
It boggled my mind. He had trusted Glory utterly. Yet she had cut him off completely, it seemed. Was Lash really worth so much to her?
“Not for nothing, but maybe you should call Glory and apologize,” I suggested. “What’s a few days with Lash compared to losing everything?”
“Yes,” Bliss urged. “Just do it, Crave. It’s not worth this.”
For a mercy, Mystify didn’t have a sarcastic word to say. I think we all were struck by the extent of Glory’s retaliation. I was impressed by the fact that she was able to get a locksmith to the shop at this ungodly hour. It happened so fast. Crave had spoken to her barely half an hour ago. The efficiency was chilling.
Mutely, Crave shook his head. I’d never seen him so flattened. Even his usual magnetism, largely helped by his whirlpool signature, was dampened.
“You have to mend this with her, Crave,” I insisted. “What else are you going to do? Live underground with the homeless?”
He shuddered, glancing down at his smeared and smelly clothing. We all looked like refugees from a war zone. “I’d rather risk the horde than go down there again.”
“Hey, buddy, that’s where I live,” Mystify shot back, ready for another fight now that Crave’s superior attitude was reasserting itself.
“You can come to the bar with us,” Bliss told Crave.
No! I shouted internally. But I couldn’t say it out loud. “Glory will be furious if I take you in.” I glanced at Mystify, remembering what he had said about Ram. These ancient demons lived by manipulating others. “Then again, that could be exactly what she wants me to do.”
Crave got it instantly, as did Mystify. Crave started looking more hopeful—if Glory was man
ipulating us all, then she hadn’t truly cut him off. “Let’s hope so.”
Bliss didn’t understand, and she didn’t care. “You’re coming home with us,” she told him, putting her arm through his.
I was glad to hear her call the bar “home.” Maybe I was finally striking the right balance with her. From now on, I was going to stay out of her love life. Even if I did think that she and Crave were destined to blow sky-high.
After all, who was I to judge? I had my own doomed relationship to deal with.
9
Ram appeared in his usual guise as I was letting everyone into the bar. He didn’t say a word, and I couldn’t tell how he was feeling from his aura. He looked like an ordinary human, with the pale swirl of color of people who were calm and comfortable. Ram could hide that he was a demon—hiding his feelings was a snap.
Crave was looking disoriented, as demons typically were when they encountered Ram. He felt and looked human, even though he was demon. I doubted Ram would drop his shields to reveal his driving signature—he didn’t like to broadcast his whereabouts.
Inside the shadowed bar, familiar and safe with the metal shutter pulled down over the front windows, we spread out facing each other warily.
Ram went over to Mystify, who backed up slightly. “Get that look off your face,” he said quietly.
Mystify instantly reverted to his angelic-faced boy persona, the one he’d been wearing when he saved us from Goad’s horde last night.
I kept thinking about what Mystify had told me. Maybe Ram had been with his girlfriend last night, and that was why he hadn’t come to the bar. He had said he was watching me “every second,” but apparently he wasn’t or he wouldn’t have lost track of me last night. That was actually good. I didn’t need a stalker for a boyfriend.
Ram was still very close to Mystify. In the same conversational tone, he said, “Now it’s time for you to be going.”
Mystify nodded shortly, keeping his eyes down. He headed to the door.
“Wait! Mystify, you don’t have to go.” I gave Ram a hard look. “I invited him here.”
Ram waited, looking at Mystify, who gave me a slight shrug. “It’s okay, Allay. I should leave.”
Mystify passed close by me to get to the door. “I’ll call you,” he mouthed, with his back to Ram so he couldn’t see it.
It made me mad. But I couldn’t stop Mystify from leaving. “Why did you do that?” I demanded as the door closed behind him.
“He’s wearing that guise to try to get to you, Allay. You can’t trust him.”
“Funny, he said the same thing about you.”
Bliss gave Crave a “we’re caught in the cross fire” look, and took his hand. “We’re going upstairs.”
I silently gave her the key, and Ram waited until they went through the door. He had seen the green tendrils weaving their hands together, and shook his head silently. “She moves fast.”
I wanted to defend my slutty offspring by saying “Like mother, like daughter.” But I was too unsure of him and what he wanted from me to joke about how much I lusted after him.
Yet there was no denying it. I was swept up in his spell just being near him. Maybe it was the power in his every movement, as if he was so sure of himself and his place in the world. Maybe it was the timbre of his voice, reaching deep inside me. Maybe it was his scent, subliminal yet overwhelming my senses, making me breathe faster as I longed to take him into myself.
I wanted to cry, “Yes, fit me into a corner of your life! I don’t care. I can be in a nonmonogamous relationship. I can try, anyway. Anything just so I can be near you. ...”
Pathetic! I clamped my mouth shut against my shameful desire. I had to get hold of myself. I didn’t need Mystify to tell me how dangerous Ram was.
“Where were you?” he asked.
I looked down at myself. My skin was clean thanks to my shifting, but I would probably have to throw away my hoodie and sweatpants; the grime was ground into my knees and elbows from that awful pipe coming out of the condos.
“In the subway. Hiding from Goad’s horde.” I had promised Mystify I wouldn’t tell anyone about the underground tunnels. “You could have been nicer to your offspring. He was there when I really needed him.” I didn’t add that Ram hadn’t been there to help me, but he knew what I was saying. I refused to ask about his girlfriends, but that was all I could think about. “I thought you weren’t the jealous type.”
His brow rose. “He’s manipulating you. I can only imagine what he’s told you.”
“Can you?” I asked. “Like what?”
“He told you about Sasha. And Meredith—even though they don’t mean anything to me. I’m sure he held back on a few things so he can shock you later. He told you that I’m using you like I use everyone. That I put people into pretty boxes and take them out to play with them. That I’ll do the same to you.”
I blinked a few times. So much for confirmation. “Not quite that eloquently, but yes, that’s the gist of it.”
Ram stepped closer. “He could have told you that you’re different. That I’m honest with you.”
“Are you?” I asked, searching his face for the truth, even though I knew he could control every twitch. “Are you really?”
“Since I revealed myself, I haven’t lied to you. I’ll answer anything truthfully. I swear.” He reached out to touch me.
I sighed, feeling his surging energy through his hand. No one else felt like him. No one had such deep reserves to call on.
“You’re hungry,” he murmured, feeding me his energy. It was so sweet that I couldn’t protest anymore. “Let me ...”
He pulled me close so we were hugging, our bodies pressing against each other. I soaked up his energy through every pore. It was like a rush of drugs to my head, as if I were blasting off into space. We seemed to spin together in silence, the universe stretching away from us as we pulsed in the very center.
He kissed my cheek, loving, cherishing kisses so as to not disturb my feeding. In his arms, I felt like nothing could reach me, nothing could hurt me. I could let go of the struggles of the past week and not worry that I was going to be consumed by a fellow demon. Not worry that I had become one of them through murder.
Guilt, shame, horror disappeared in the swelling rush of delight. We kissed, and I dived in, ready to be swallowed whole.
Before I knew it, he was unzipping my hoodie, pulling it off me with one jerk. My sweats followed, tugging at my flesh as he sundered the fabric. He was stronger than other demons.
When he had me naked, I was suddenly afraid.
I was still overwhelmed by him, wanting him with every part of my being. But I was playing with fire and would get burned. It was too intense, too impossible to continue. I would lie broken and hurt on the ground when he was through with me.
And what does a monster do with his toys when he’s through with them?
I wrapped my arms around myself, shivering but not from chill air. The shadows hid more than I realized.
“Allay.” He hugged me close again, as naked as I was. His breath blew against my ear as he tucked my face into his neck. “You’re everything to me.”
His arms encircled my back, holding me tightly as he enveloped me. I held on to his shoulders, fear and desire resonating against each other. It was horrible and wonderful at the same time, as exhilarating as walking along the ledge of a skyscraper. I knew one misstep and I could fall, dashing my brains out. But right now I felt as if I were flying, as if I were invincible. Only Ram could give that to me.
Oh, his lips! The feel of his body . . . the sound of his moan . . .
I couldn’t think, couldn’t remember who I was, only that this man consumed me. So shocking, too sudden, but true nonetheless. He couldn’t be playing a role with me, not when we were stripped this bare, emotions echoing between us, feeling his fear at exposing himself utterly to me.
I want him.
He lifted me off my feet, easily carrying me. As he laid me down on the be
nch under the back windows, it felt as if I were floating in his arms.
I gave myself to him, beyond my own ability to control myself. As he penetrated me, it was as if I had never felt true desire before, only a pale imitation, a faint longing without fulfillment. I let him drink deep of me, kissing and biting my neck, squirming in his grasp as I cried out for more. He bit his way down the curve of my neck onto my shoulder, pressing his teeth in, as if feeling an unreasoning urge to mark me, to make me his own.
I was impaled on him, as we rocked together, surging ever higher. It felt like he belonged inside me. That with him, it was finally real.
“Yes!” I cried out in pain and ecstasy, twining together like my fear and passion. Where did one stop and the other begin . . . ?
We seemed to meld into one. Joined together at our most tender point, our cores pressed together, we became something new.
He came as deep inside me as he could get, his arms wrapped around me, lifting his face to the heavens as if surrendering himself.
It was perfect. At least I wanted to think it was.
I was snuggled into his arms on the narrow bench, savoring every moment. It was one of those rare times when everything stood still. I didn’t want anything else but what I had right now.
Then Ram said, “I have something to tell you, Allay. But I don’t want you to be afraid.”
My fingers stopped stroking his chest. “What is it?”
He rested his chin on the top of my head so I couldn’t see him. “Dread has made another possessed human. He had one of his Fellows absorb Fervor’s essence.”
“What?!” I wrenched myself out of his arms. “Are you serious?”
“I wish it wasn’t true, but Dread intends to go through with his resurrection. He turned Cherie. You remember her from the Fellowship circle we attended?”
