All the Lord found precious in her became an inescapable irritant to the couple.
“Beloved,” they screamed, “there is something really wrong with you! There is no way you will ever be used by God for anything unless you first fix yourself.”
Repeatedly, they berated her, treating her as badly as they could manage. With continuous blow after blow, she had no time to consider the Lord. She felt lost and overwhelmed. Emotionally encumbered by the hopeless lies of their betrayal, she started to reason that death was her only escape.
With her soul clogged by the heavy burdens of their condemnation, she felt numb and her thoughts were lured into a state of chilled emotion. Close to giving up, a powerful voice literally broke into her disparaging thoughts. Her well-loved Guide was speaking boldly into her spirit, “Beloved, look closely at your new friends. Can you see what they really are?”
As if seeing them for the first time, her eyes were suddenly opened. Beloved pulled back from them and saw in horror … she had befriended wolves.
How could she not have noticed before that their clothing was only a cover-up for their true identity? They were not friends at all – they were deceivers sent to entangle her in anything other than her true destiny.
Their cruelty had blinded her, yet she could see plainly now how little they resembled humans. Truly, they were employed by another realm – the realm of darkness and deception that had so overtaken those caught in the deep sleep.
All at once the remembrance of the sleeping saints hit her heart like pangs of piercing guilt and fear. While she had been running from her destiny, caught in the deception of the wolves, others had been waiting for her – truly needing her desperately.
A well of panicked emotions erupted inside her and she immediately looked for a way of escape from the grasp of her deceivers, but she feared it would not be easy. She knew they would be relentless in their possession of her God-given destiny.
They would, she thought, continue to successfully delude her. Her panic threw her into a state of anxious despair. Vehemently, she hunted for a place to hide. In her emotionally weakened condition, she felt she could not stand against them on her own – she longed for the Rock of the Lord she’d left in the fields of grace and frantically looked around her for help.
“Hide me, Jesus!” she screamed.
“Is there anywhere to hide in this place?” Her apprehension tormented her. “Lord, where are You?!”
Yet there was no place to hide here. Beloved had left the fields of grace to follow her own way. Now, she needed grace so desperately.
“Would He meet me in this place?”
Suddenly, stilled by an intensely supernatural peace, at last Beloved realized there was no other way to leave except to confront her abusers.
Sighing, she dropped her shoulders. Confrontation was the thing she feared more than anything…
For with fire and with his sword the LORD will execute judgment on all people.
—Isaiah 66:16 NIV
BELOVED’S DESIRE to pursue her friends from the mountain she loved had diminished. She no longer feared the loneliness she had dreaded. Now, solitude seemed to her something to be relished.
Indeed, all the previous concerns of her heart were overshadowed by the extraordinary yearning she felt for her dearest Lord. She gave way to drifting memories, clung to the remembrance of her cherished times with Jesus, and felt her strength being renewed in the memories of His love for her.
Resolute passion began to fill her again. She would seek Him anew, bolstered by a supernatural strength that was not her own. He had filled her with His strength, empowering her to face the deception that loomed over her.
She would, indeed, confront the wolves.
She returned her attention to the oppressive presence of her captors, and immediately the wolves sensed there had been a change in their once spiritless prisoner. They stared at her again with their misleading smiles as they assumed a contrived, presumptive guise.
Strengthened by the Lord, Beloved stood her ground. “You have tried to drive me away from my Lord!” she resisted them.
Trying to make her point, she attempted to continue, but was cut off. Erupting like a volcano of relentless, calculated lies, they chose indignant outrage to combat her defiance.
“How dare you speak to us like that,” they hissed like snakes.
Still trying to cover their true identities, they continued their deception. “We are your covering! We truly care about you and you are being ungrateful for all we have done for you.”
Had Beloved previously been suffering from any remaining self doubt, her eyes were completely open now. Truly, the wolves themselves were beguiled by their own lies, and she knew nothing she would say to them would move them. Indeed, nothing else mattered to them except maintaining their own deception – they were incapable of empathy.
Beloved stood her ground. Regardless of whether they believed her or not, she would speak the truth for the sake of her own soul. “You are liars and I will not listen to you anymore!” she retorted.
Seeing that Beloved was much stronger than they had previously anticipated, they altered their tactics and fought against her with fear and intimidation. Trying to regain control, they screamed at her. “If you leave us, you will go to hell!” they warned.
“We are going to tell everyone what a rebellious person you are. We will tell it all – we are going to warn the world about you!” They continued to intimidate her.
Fear began to seep into Beloved’s tender heart and confusion attempted to overtake her mind again. She sank to the ground and cried. Trying hard to shut out their accusations against her, she only succeeded in numbing her mind.
Bombarded by regret, she cried out. “Oh, God! Forgive me, Lord. Rescue me and help me, my Dearest,” she wept. “I am Yours and always have been. Oh, God, help me!” she continued to pray as she broke into unrestrained sobs.
Her enemies only laughed at her and mocked her sincerity, but she did not hear them. Her heart began to give way to despair, and the deep sleep loomed over her like a deceptive dream trying to take possession of her once again.
“No more,” she lamented. “I want no more of this. I will not help anyone – I cannot help them! I can go no further. I’m done…” Thoughts pelted her numbing mind.
All at once, she felt a powerful hand on her shoulder. She checked her tears and whirled around to see who had gripped her.
She gasped, and peace flooded her heart. The radiant angelic had returned to her, though truly they had never left her side. Instantly, she felt their comfort. In her woundedness, the well-loved angelic reassured her she was, indeed, not alone in her fight and they had called in supernatural reinforcements.
It was then she saw the heavenly warrior. He was a towering angel, even more radiant and glorious than the angelic who were with her. Manifesting great power, the warrior filled the forest with light. He stood between Beloved and the arrogant wolves. Obvious terror struck the wolves as they attempted to display a defiant resistance yet were crippled by the impact of the terrifying light.
Stupefied by the heavenly appearance, Beloved stood paralyzed and unable to react. Slowly, as she was able to absorb the reality of what was happening, she was overwhelmed with fright for her enemies.
The great warrior drew his flaming sword and, reflecting the fire it burnished, it gave off a piercing light. Casting aside the oppressive shadows of the forest, it illuminated the darkness. Throwing off the night like ancient grave clothes, it banished the storm, bringing deliverance to her captive heart.
Sudden realization struck Beloved like a sea and she wondered at the sight of what was about to occur. “Can it be God’s will to destroy them?”
She heard the warrior speak in answer to the question of her heart, “I have been given authority to execute the judgments of the Lord.”
Raising his arms, the warrior raised his sword and thrust it into the wolves.
Beloved cringed and braced her
self. She couldn’t watch.
The warrior knew Beloved’s thoughts and spoke to her again, “This sword is the sword of Truth and will dispel the lies of darkness that have taken over their souls.”
She looked at the sword and saw that in its radiance, it seemed to be alive and was pulsating. As its large blade rested in them, the Light it held began to fill them; like melting gold, the Light seeped into their chest and penetrated their hearts.
At first, they lay motionless as if the sword had destroyed them, but she then saw them cringe as if in pain. Watching their faces contort, she sensed brokenness entering them. As they were filled with the heavenly fire, grief invaded their souls as truth penetrated their hearts.
Beloved stood watching the heavenly warrior when she was reminded of the angelic still with her. Calling her back to herself with a reassuring embrace, the angelic urged her emphatically, “Run now, Beloved!”
She had been so wrapped up in what was taking place, she had not considered herself. Recalling her dilemma, she knew that now was her moment to escape and find her path once again.
As Beloved ran, she was still plagued by the disparaging lies implanted in her soul from the deceiving couple who’d held her captive.
At times, it so overwhelmed her that it seemed to consume her thoughts as she rushed blindly through the woods. She searched endlessly for the fields of grace, compelled almost completely by the need in her own heart. With each step, she knew she was getting closer to the grace she longed for and the healing she desperately needed.
With a measured distance between her captives and herself, she wrestled with the fear that clawed at her heart. She wanted to trust again and find that easy repose she once had with the angelic who were trying to lead her.
Beloved had escaped the ambush of the wolves, but a propensity to fearfulness clung to her soul.
Then I looked up and saw two women flying toward us, gliding on the wind. They had wings like a stork, and they picked up the basket and flew into the sky.
—Zechariah 5:9 NLT
BELOVED REALIZED her battle was now inside her. The wolves had done their work. They had planted seeds of rotten fruit that tried to take control of her soul and destroy her destiny. It was too late to regret her decision to leave the fields of grace. She had to focus on survival if she was to champion her thoughts.
The wolves had caused fear to root deeply in her soul and it was an unnerving force. The slightest hint of danger would send her reeling. The angelic fought continually to guide her, redirecting her focus, but were limited by her greatly diminished faith. Again and again, fear overwhelmed her emotions as she heedlessly ran from the help she desperately needed.
Suddenly, a thick menacing mist invaded the woods, surrounding Beloved with an oppressive heaviness that terrified her. Feeding her terror and overwhelming her emotions, she fled from it, sending her charging heedlessly through the woods to escape its dreaded tyranny.
Not knowing how long she had been running, she suddenly stopped when she was startled by the sensation that something unearthly had brushed by her in the fog. As she listened to the deafening silence of the woods, she was sure she had heard the sound of running feet all around her. Around and around she whirled, full of fright, trying to see into the mist.
The threatening sounds of labored breathing and rapid grunting filled Beloved with panic. The atmosphere around her was charged with intensity and she knew she was in danger, but what was chasing her? Sinister flashes unveiled themselves as she caught sight of the unholy creatures attempting to block her way.
Trapped by the mist and overwhelmed with fear, she now found herself pressed from every side by a band of tormenting demonic creatures. Chasing her with their terror, they charged at her relentlessly with their menacing lies and malicious accusations.
Beloved tried to defend herself, but they appeared to her like the ominous cover of mist, blending in with it and blinding her vision – crushing her peace. They were incessant. Like a dripping faucet they pressed in on her, coming back again and again with destructive lies. Trying to rip at her mind with seductions of dissembling defeat, berating her with overwhelming persuasions of self hatred, they were determined to take possession of her. She was to them a great prize because the Lord cherished her so much.
Overwhelmed, frightened and crying, she tried to run from them. Yet she seemed helpless to get away. Tormented by their unrelenting indoctrination, she screamed against the dark images, “Leave me alone!” Exasperated, she swung around and attempted to break free from their barricade, just when something extraordinary caught her eye.
It was only for a moment she saw it, but Beloved was quite sure of what she had seen. She was surprised by the failure of one dark creature; he had shown his true emotion and she had seen it. Just a small flicker in his beady eyes was enough to capture her attention. It vanished as quickly as it had appeared, but there was no question in her mind. She had seen a glimmer of fear in one of the creatures chasing her and it disarmed the lies of accusations entangling her.
Beloved was amazed by their error, but it was too late. She had seen what they had been desperate to conceal from her. Their power was raised by the fear they inflicted, and she saw now how important her fear was in empowering their lies against her – her fear gave them control. Without fear’s premise, they knew she could easily overpower them. It was, indeed, they who were afraid of her.
Beloved turned to face them and planted herself defiantly in front of them. “Wait!” she challenged, “You’re afraid of me, aren’t you?”
“Noooo!” they hissed back at her, repelled by her suggestion.
They tried to hold their ground, but it was too late. She had seen the fear in their eyes.
Wrestling with her thoughts, she questioned in her mind, “What are they afraid of?”
She was puzzled, but in gaining insight, fury began to build within her. Even more so, she was beginning to remember who she really was, and their contemptuous treatment fueled her anger.
“They tormented me and tried to convince me they had all the power,” she stormed, “but all along they were the ones who were afraid … of me!”
Fear seemed to rise in the creatures as they watched Beloved’s demeanor change. The reality of their powerless condition swept over them and they stood helpless to ensnare her. They could no longer hold her in the torment of the mist.
Beloved watched as fear overwhelmed the minds of the sinister creatures, and it pleased her to realize how threatened they were becoming. She knew now nothing could hold her in their grasp. With determined delight she charged right through the midst of the mob as they screamed their pathetic objections. She was leaving their grasp.
Powerless to hold her, the ambush the enemy had set for her was incapacitated as she embraced the revelation of the power she possessed. As the demonic creatures realized they could no longer hold her, they followed her in a feeble attempt to once again gain control over her.
She walked steadily away from them in defiant pursuit of the path she’d left. Angry at Beloved for her victory over them, the creatures were hungry to continue their assault against her, so they pelted her with their miserable lies once again.
The onslaught of unhappy upbraiding continued as they criticized her every movement. Yet she charged ahead with triumphant determination as her spirit awakened to the true purpose of her battle.
As she tirelessly trudged forward through their disparaging barrage, she suddenly sensed the voice of her constant friend and treasured Guide break into her thoughts. And what He spoke into her spirit made her heart want to soar.
Her precious Holy Spirit resonated in her spirit, “Beloved, you can fly!”
“What?” she asked, as she stopped in her tracks. “I can fly?” she questioned Him.
Suddenly the mist all around her began to clear and she felt something rise up deep inside her soul. She agreed, truly, she was destined to fly. So … she decided to try…
The creatures c
ontinued to accuse her but even as their assaults continued, she made her attempt. At first she flew just a few feet above the ground with the demons following still, but even though she’d flown just a little, she realized she was, indeed, flying!
Beloved was filled with joy. She knew now what her Guide had spoken was true. Yet the creatures tried in vain to turn her first attempt into a failure in her eyes. Boldly they mocked her, laughing hysterically with ridiculously overplayed emotion. She chuckled to herself and turned her gaze toward the sky again.
Undoubtedly, she had been able to fly all along; she just hadn’t really understood whose she was and the giftings He had placed inside her. “Could that be what the creatures are afraid of?” she wondered.
“Were they all terrified I would learn the truth about myself? Afraid I would discover that I could fly far away from them?” For truly, however powerful her enemies had been, there would be nothing to tie her to them now.
“They all knew that someday I would, indeed, fly and they were petrified I would soar!”
Once again she attempted to fly and this time, with little effort, she easily flew above them. However, she still continued to struggle in her endeavor to fly away out of their reach. As they continued to attack her, they screamed out accusations of fear and doubt, trying in desperation to recapture her attention with loathsome fear and self-hatred.
“You cannot fly, girl!” They fanatically screeched out their accusations. “No! No! No! Truly – YOU CAN’T FLY, BELOVED!” They continued to mock her with open disdain, “Who do yoouu think you are, gggirlll? Yoouu are nothhinng … there’s something wrong with yoouu, ggirrlll.”
In hearing their lies, Beloved felt herself beginning to slip down toward their reach. With each lie, she perceived a danger to her faith, and the distance she’d gained was threatened. A tremor of fear leaped at her heart, putting her closer toward their grasp.
“I can’t go back!” Beloved screamed, “I won’t!”
Then she heard Holy Spirit whisper softly His faith-building words, “But Beloved, you are flying.” At the sound of His beautiful voice she felt her heart lift again and fear was thrown back – it was true!
Awakening: The Deep Sleep (The Deep Sleep Trilogy Book 1) Page 5
