by Amy Atwell
From her seat, Johanna stared at him. “Will I not be returning to Ambersley with you?” Her voice sounded small and shaky.
The others shared a look before Aunt Bess said, “That’s not possible, child.”
“Mother and I would like very much to have you live with us for now,” Harry added.
Derek contemplated Johanna’s pale face. “Aunt Bess and Harry, could you excuse us? I think it’s best if Johanna and I discuss this alone.”
Aunt Bess opened her mouth as if she might object, but Harry shook his head at her. Rising, he offered her his arm. With a backward glance, she accompanied him from the room.
Derek moved restlessly around the dining table. “My dear girl, it is impossible for you to live at Ambersley with me unchaperoned.”
“Why?”
He gave a sardonic laugh. “That very question proves to me you must stay here under Aunt Bess’s tutelage.”
Johanna’s eyebrow lifted at the commanding tone he used with her. He’d never ordered her about so when she was the gardener’s apprentice. “But I don’t want to stay here. I want to go home.”
Derek turned at her entreaty to find she watched him with huge eyes. The boy Johnny had always trusted him, and he hated to fail her. “I’m sorry, Johanna, but I cannot allow it. If you were to appear at Ambersley now, everyone would recognize you as Johnny, and they’d all realize the truth.”
“Pray, what’s wrong with the truth?”
Knowing Society’s ways were still new to her, Derek tried to explain. “It’s imperative no one know about your upbringing. Minton and I both agree on that. We’re working on a more suitable story to tell the public once we announce you’re alive.”
“And you expect people like Paget and Mrs. North not to notice any resemblance?” Johanna quirked her brow at him—a clear, if unspoken, challenge to his authority.
“I expect them not to say anything, just as Cushing and Rory have said nothing.”
“I’m not your tenant any longer,” she reminded him.
“No, you’re my ward, and you’ll do as I bid. For now, you’ll remain in Bath with Aunt Bess.” Derek wanted to be firm, but hated himself when he saw unexpected moisture swim in Johanna’s eyes.
Johanna could barely breathe as she realized he didn’t want her at Ambersley. The knowledge hurt more than when he had stabbed her. “Yes, Your Grace.” Crying was a weakness she abhorred, and she fought valiantly to check her tears. Only a telltale sniffle escaped.
Derek recognized it immediately. “Why are you crying?” She remained silent. “There’s no need to be unhappy, you’re an heiress.”
“I don’t want to be an heiress,” she choked. “I want to go home.”
“What—you wanted to spend the rest of your life playing a boy?” Derek shook his head. “Don’t talk nonsense, Johanna."
She looked up at him as if he’d slapped her. “Is that what you think it was? Playing? I am Johnny. That’s all I remember, being a boy to everyone, and no one gave it a thought. Only now it turns out I’m the daughter of a duke, and suddenly I should forget everything that’s happened to me for the past thirteen years. Now I have wealth and position, and I should be grateful to claim my identity. But has it occurred to you what you’re asking me to relinquish? Everything!” She ended on a sob.
Derek stood numbly during her tirade, but as her shoulders shook, he went and pulled her into his arms. She was so young, so fragile, so feminine, the desire to protect her struck him a sharp blow.
Johanna hung on his chest and shoulder, her fingers curling into his coat. When the worst of the storm had passed, she whispered, “I was happy. I would have been Johnny for the rest of my life. Now it’s as though he’s dead, and I don’t know who I am. I miss him.”
Derek rested his head atop hers and smoothed her chestnut curls with his hand. “I know,” he whispered in soothing tones. “I miss him, too.”
~
Following Derek’s departure, Johanna resolved not to think about him or Ambersley.
The first week, she received a visit from Mr. Minton. Aunt Bess received him in the drawing room, and when Johanna entered, he bowed to her. She smiled, a little afraid of the dapper solicitor.
Minton adjusted his spectacles as he looked over her face. “I cannot believe how blind we all were,” he said with a rueful smile. “Thank God we can make this right.” He then spoke privately with her regarding the state of her fortune and her father’s will.
Johanna entreated him to let Derek keep the money, but he firmly refused, saying the duke had been adamant about wanting to return her full fortune to her. She understood he and Derek would act as executors of her fortune, and they had arranged for a quarterly allowance to be given to her. She had no idea how she could begin to spend the exorbitant sum he called “pin money” every three months.
Over supper, Mr. Minton reiterated the importance of keeping Johanna’s upbringing a secret. Harry nodded and agreed no one must know Lady Johanna Vaughan had been raised on the Ambersley estate by the gardener and his wife. Johanna felt insulted on behalf of the Ambersley staff and tenants, but knew by now her arguments would meet deaf ears. She listened to the details of the story Mr. Minton and Derek had devised with detached curiosity. It began with her mysterious arrival at a priory with no memory of who she was. The priory was more than one hundred miles from Ambersley, and it was considered a miracle she’d arrived there unharmed.
Johanna considered it would be a miracle if anyone believed this story, but wisely held her tongue.
Only last year had she started recalling snippets of her childhood, and this had prompted the prioresses to widen the search for her family. Learning of the Ambersley Hall fire, the prioresses sent a letter to Derek, and he and Minton had traveled to the priory and positively identified Johanna. When presented with facts and names, she’d miraculously recovered her memory. She’d then returned with them to Bath.
“Which is why you’ve been kept so closely here in the house,” Harry explained.
Aunt Bess smiled at Mr. Minton. “It’s a very plausible story, and will capture the ton’s imagination. Did you pick a specific priory?”
“Oh yes, and Lord Ambersley and I have already been there to make a sizable donation. They assure me they will answer any inquiries with a sincere, ’We’ve been asked by the family not to discuss the matter,’” Minton replied.
Harry laughed. Johanna tried to appreciate the humor, but something else troubled her. “What about Johnny?”
Mr. Minton pushed his spectacles higher on his nose. “His lordship is telling all at Ambersley that Johnny has been shipped off to America. He felt it would be inappropriate for Johnny to ever return to Ambersley when Lady Johanna was unaware of his existence.”
Johanna had to be satisfied, but she didn’t like it.
A month brought no word from Derek other than the arrival of Nancy, Johanna’s new maid. She realized the girl had been the perfect choice. As a second maid for Olivia when Olivia visited, Nancy had never come face to face with Johnny. Johanna tried to appreciate having someone to do every task she bid, but it seemed unnatural. She was more apt to send Nancy away and undress alone in the huge bedroom once occupied by Derek.
Being restricted to the house began to wear on her nerves, and she sought diversion in the most mundane things. When Harry caught her reading a book on animal husbandry she’d found, he suggested his mother take Johanna to the lending library or the Pump Room. Aunt Bess agreed, and so Johanna ventured out onto the Royal Crescent for the first time. The hills surrounding Bath were ablaze with autumn color when she and Aunt Bess strolled down High Street toward their destination.
Aunt Bess told her how she’d tried drinking the waters, believing it would improve her spirits following her husband’s death, but nothing had helped. She patted Johanna’s hand. “But you’ve brought me great joy these last few weeks. I hope you’re as happy with Harry and me as we are to have you as part of our family.”
Joh
anna blushed and agreed she was most happy.
It being the season for grouse shooting, the Pump Room wasn’t crowded. Aunt Bess introduced Johanna simply as Johanna Vaughan, a cousin. Matrons nodded approvingly at her, and she tried to appear self-assured. She wished Harry had come with them. After tasting the nasty waters, which gave her a fit of sneezing, Johanna followed Aunt Bess to the lending library where they whiled away an hour looking at The Times and choosing a novel for Aunt Bess and a book of poetry for Johanna. They admired the many display windows as they strolled along Milsom Street and so back home. Johanna’s feet hurt from so much walking in the thin slippers, but her cheeks glowed with color at having finally gotten some welcome exercise.
After that, Johanna began to taste Bath society. One night, they attended a musical entertainment at the Lower Assembly Rooms. Another night, a group of young people played charades while the chaperones occupied themselves at cards. Johanna laughed until tears trickled down her face at Harry’s outrageous playacting of a turkey.
But the day Harry turned up at the front door with two riding horses, one wearing a side-saddle, all Johanna’s decorum fled as she threw herself into his arms. After that, she and Harry spent mornings riding. She laughed at herself and was grateful Harry understood how awkward she felt. She longed to straddle a horse again, but when she said so before Aunt Bess, she feared the older woman would faint.
Fall turned to winter, and Johanna missed her home fiercely. Who will prune the roses? Has someone turned the plants in the conservatory to face the southern sunlight like Tom taught me to do every December? What is Derek doing today? The questions teased her so she couldn’t concentrate on her chess game with Harry.
Aunt Bess entered the drawing room, a letter in hand, a smile beaming. “Well, children, it’s done. An announcement has appeared in The Times that Lady Amber Johanna Vaughan has been found and is now residing with relatives in Bath. We can expect to receive invitations everywhere.”
Her prediction proved accurate as their home was besieged with morning callers. Matrons approached Aunt Bess in the Pump Room to invite her and her charming guest for supper or a card party or a small gathering with perhaps some dancing for the young people. Women admired anything Johanna perused in the Bath shops and praised her taste. She was dumbfounded by this behavior until Harry pointed out the one thing these women all shared in common—all were related to a man who desired to make Johanna’s acquaintance.
“You jest,” Johanna responded from atop her mount as they walked the horses back to the Royal Crescent.
“I wish I did,” he said darkly. He helped her dismount.
Aunt Bess leaned out an upstairs window. “Johanna, thank goodness you’re home. Come in and change. We must go to Milsom Street and arrange for a new dress.”
Johanna cast a despairing glance at Harry who only laughed and led both horses away. She stared up at the window, hands on hips. “Why would I need another dress?” she called up.
Aunt Bess’s capped head popped back out. “We’ve been invited to a Christmas Ball at Lord and Lady Sedgefield’s, and Derek has given permission for you to make your debut there. His letter even said he might make time to attend himself.”
Johanna didn’t know whether to be flattered or scream in frustration at his casual disregard of her for the past three months.
~
Lord and Lady Sedgefield’s estate was little more than an hour from Bath, but owing to the unpredictability of the December weather, Aunt Bess accepted the invitation for her party to stay overnight. Johanna simply stared at the small trunk while Nancy packed five dresses, shoes and stockings, curling irons, hair ribbons and miles of underclothes and silently prayed she wouldn’t disgrace herself. Unnerved by the activity in her room, she escaped to the library for some quiet. She’d had three hours of dancing lessons each day this week, and she longed to rest her sore feet before the fire and fall asleep over a book.
Every moment had become a flurry of activity in preparation for her debut. Aunt Bess’s sole concern lately was whether a fabric’s color enlivened Johanna’s skin or clashed with her eyes. Johanna opened a book to a picture of a fish. Immediately she pictured the fish fork she must use and knew precisely how many inches to the left of her plate it would rest on the dining table. She shook her head in disgust. No wonder men thought ladies were such trivial creatures—they had nothing but trivialities to entertain them. Fashion and etiquette weren’t details important enough to worry her, yet Aunt Bess believed the entire trip to Sedgefield hinged upon them.
Snapping the book shut, she drew a steadying breath. This would be her first Christmas away from Ambersley. Candles lit throughout the Hall, hot punch in the kitchen, a fat goose for every tenant family, carols sung in the stable yard—the memories of past winters made Johanna smile. But the aura faded as homesickness chafed her like a raw wind across chapped skin. Here, alone in the library, she could admit she longed to return to Ambersley.
But she wouldn’t have traded her evening at the Sedgefield estate for anything. As their coach pulled up before the monstrous manor house, Harry told her in a whisper there were at least thirty bedrooms, and he’d heard tell of someone who had taken a wrong turn and been lost more than an hour.
“Have you been here before, then?” Johanna asked.
“Good heavens, no,” he answered in good-natured horror. “The Coatsworths aren’t in the same league as the Duke and Duchess of Sedgefield. Aunt Bess was only invited because she’s your chaperone.”
Bemused, Johanna asked, “What of you?”
Harry shrugged. “Every hostess is always seeking an extra unmarried man to even out her numbers. But it’s you they wanted here. You are our entréz into the first circles of Society.”
When she started to object, Aunt Bess interrupted her. “Don’t make her nervous, dear. It’s true, Johanna, that you’ve raised our status. While Harry’s father was a wealthy man, he earned that money through trade. There was no reason to single us out for an invitation—until now. Don’t be embarrassed. These are precisely the sort of people you would have grown up knowing had your parents lived. They’re so looking forward to meeting you.”
A footman opened the coach door and handed Aunt Bess down. Harry started to follow, but stopped long enough to look back at Johanna. “Of course, they’re looking forward to meeting you. Their son is busy gambling away the family fortune and needs a rich wife.”
Johanna’s anxiety doubled.
Her room adjoined Aunt Bess’s with Nancy acting as maid to them both for the night. Aunt Bess immediately called for a hot bath, and Nancy began unpacking their things. Within the hour, Johanna found herself scrubbed and preened. Her dress of pale pink silk dipped low exposing the creamy smoothness of her throat and small bosom. Johanna eyed herself critically in the cheval glass. No, she wouldn’t allow Aunt Bess to persuade her to purchase another pink dress. It simply wasn’t her color.
Aunt Bess came up behind her. “My dear, I knew pink would be perfect on you.” She presented a strand of matched pearls. “You must wear these. They were your mother’s.”
Johanna had never received anything from her parents. She reached but didn’t quite touch them. “How?” she whispered.
“Derek sent them earlier this week. He promised to come tonight but feared he might be delayed. He wanted you to wear them, and I agree they’re most appropriate for a girl your age.”
Johanna bent her head while Aunt Bess fastened the cool orbs around her neck. She touched them. Delicate yet invincible. Derek had sent them to her, and she would see him tonight. Happiness spread through her with a warm glow.
They sat down nineteen for supper. Johanna wished she were ignorant of the great honor bestowed upon her by being seated at Lord Sedgefield’s right hand. On her other side sat a handsome man with blonde curls who was introduced as Reed Barlow, a cousin of Lady Sedgefield. Smiling politely at him, she stole a glance down the table. Harry and Aunt Bess were seated across from each other
halfway down. Harry sat between two pretty young ladies and seemed entirely at ease. Further down, a handsome dark-haired gentleman seated at Lady Sedgefield’s right made Johanna’s heart skip. But then she realized it wasn’t Derek, only another gentleman who looked rather like him.
When Lord Sedgefield escorted her into the ballroom, she forcibly reminded herself not to gawk. Large and drafty as a barn, the room’s floor was waxed to a golden sheen and four crystal chandeliers washed everything with light from over a hundred candles. More candles burned in candelabra, their tiny flames magnified by the mirrored walls. She saw her first palm trees, and the marble statues in the alcoves were all nude.
Before she knew it, Harry swept her into the first of a set of country dances. She swallowed her nervousness when she saw how many guests improvised their own steps. Harry always danced with carefree abandon, and she soon caught his contagious grin. For the next two hours she bobbed amidst the dancers throughout two reels and a cotillion. She smiled at each partner introduced to her but couldn’t help wondering whether Derek would ever show.
