by Amy Atwell
Derek cleared his throat. “I’m sorry Tom and Martha couldn’t be here today. I would have asked them to give you away.”
“They would have liked that,” Johanna said softly.
Derek wondered if he’d upset her, but her smile appeared genuine as she took his hand and led him through the Hall to the back lawn. At least he could make her smile.
Johanna radiated sincere delight as the afternoon progressed. Her happiness today was all that mattered to him. Still, as the shadows lengthened, and people began to depart for their homes, he found himself unnerved at the prospect of being alone with her.
Harry and Aunt Bess took their leave during the afternoon. Johanna clung to Aunt Bess, as if she were only a small child and someone were taking away her favorite doll. “Must you go so soon?”
Aunt Bess tucked one of Johanna’s stray locks behind her ear. “You have no further need of a chaperone. Derek tells me you’re planning to return to London by the end of the week, so we will await you in Portman Square.”
Johanna nodded silently. This was the first she’d heard of her impending return to London. Apparently, Derek wanted to finish out the Season, or worse, he couldn’t wait to return to his mistress. At least she wouldn’t have to watch him squiring Charis Sumner about Town. Small consolation.
Supper was an affair of sumptuous delicacies. There was a turtle soup, and turbot with lobster and oysters followed by lamb cutlets with early peas from the little garden Paget still tended. Johanna picked at her plate as dishes came and went, for even the tiny meringues with chocolate cream tasted like dust. Her mouth felt so dry… She couldn’t remember ever being this nervous.
Following the meal, Derek asked if she’d care to join him in the library for a brandy. Surprised by his outrageous suggestion, she accepted, and he offered her his arm.
They sat in companionable silence while candles flickered in the breeze from the open French doors. Johanna nursed her dainty portion of the strong spirits, while Derek downed his in fiery gulps. Finally, his glass empty, he stood and offered her his hand. “Come Johanna, ’tis time we were abed.”
She let him lead her up the stairs to his room, his words echoing through her. She hoped she would get through this night without humiliating herself. She desperately wished she were experienced in the ways of lovemaking. Certainly, Derek would find no appeal in the gauche fumbling of an untried girl. Getting an heir was an integral part of any marriage, but Johanna remembered Derek telling her men and women derived intense pleasure from the act as well. She hoped she’d feel such pleasure—even more, she hoped Derek would.
Derek’s bedroom was awash with candlelight, and pale pink rose petals were strewn across the snowy sheets of the turned-down bed. Johanna’s stomach fluttered with nerves. She drew strength from the waxing moon, luminous outside the open window. The same glowing orb that had offered her friendship when she fought for Derek’s life had now returned from its monthly trek to shine away the worst of her fears.
Derek watched her step to the window where moonbeams bathed her in haloes and cast golden glints to her chestnut curls. Her skin shone ivory with a pale flush to her cheekbones as her eyes swept the room and landed on the bed. Her aqua eyes flickered with a silvery light under upswept lashes, and Derek longed to say something to drive her left eyebrow up in that maddening habit it had. He didn’t deserve her, this ethereal being who held the power in her eyebrow to fulfill or destroy him. He would need to tread delicately.
She tugged at her bottom lip with smooth white teeth. “I have a peignoir Aunt Bess helped me pick out—” She hesitated, and he glimpsed the thousand questions in her eyes.
“Perhaps later. I see no need for you to change clothes when what I want is to see you without them entirely.”
His voice was a caress, and Johanna had to moisten her lips before they’d form words. “Is that what you want?”
Derek groaned at the sight of her tongue darting briefly across her lips. It only took a heartbeat for him to pull her into his arms. “That and so much more, Johanna.” Only then did his lips descend to hers.
Johanna quickly forgot the chaste kiss at the wedding altar. As their lips melted together, the simmering heat traveled through her body and pooled in the pit of her stomach where it glowed among embers of desire. Tentatively, she closed her fingers over the taut muscles of his shoulders and was rewarded with a viselike embrace as he pulled her to his full length. One of Derek’s hands pressed along the curve of her buttocks, and she experienced the heat of him as he held her.
He raised his head slowly to gaze into her eyes. Johanna smiled weakly. “I should ring for Nancy to help me undress.”
Derek laughed softly. “I think not. That door is locked, and I will murder with my own hands the first person who dares so much as knock upon it.” His tone was vehement and he took a steadying breath. “I’ve waited for this night for so long, Johanna. You have no idea how much I’ve wanted you.”
Her left eyebrow flew up in surprise and—maybe—hope. “Truly?”
He turned her around, unwilling to reveal how her unconscious gesture touched his heart.
“What are you doing?” Johanna asked.
“I’m undressing you. Do you mind?” Derek responded. His fingers began the arduous task of unbuttoning the length of her back. By the time he’d reached the tenth satin covered barrier, Derek experienced fully the exquisite torture of anticipation. Inhaling the soft fragrance from her nape, he plied gentle kisses along her shoulders as his fingers continued their downward advance.
Johanna breathed a slow sigh of pleasure at odds with her racing pulse. Already, she could feel a drawing sensation below her stomach where her legs came together. It was a totally new experience that emboldened her to speak. “Derek, I want to be a good wife, but—” She paused in indecision.
Derek turned her to face him. The white dress slipped down Johanna’s shoulders and she unconsciously shook it free until it slipped to her feet. She stood before him in nothing but the thin silk chemise and stockings, all smooth and ivory except for the pink tips of her breasts.
As close as he stood, he couldn’t touch her until she finished her thought. “But what?”
“Will you teach me to please you? I know it’s not what wives usually want, but I—will you teach me?”
Derek’s heart hammered in response to her words. “Darling, if you pleased me anymore, I’d embarrass myself.”
Johanna frowned. “What do you mean?”
In response, Derek pulled her hand toward the buttons of his breeches.
She drew back in hesitation, but curiosity, not repugnance, lit her face.
Tenderly, he offered, “Let this be a gauge of my desire for you. Touch me.” Her gaze flew from their hands to his face, and he grinned with delight. “You asked me to teach you. It would please me greatly if you unfastened and touched me.”
Johanna nodded at his encouraging smile, and began the disconcerting task of undressing her husband. She feared he would be disappointed with her fumbling fingers working at his buttons, until she heard a groan of pleasure escape him. With the buttons undone, it took only the nerve to touch the power of his manhood through the fabric of his small-clothes.
If he had thought undressing her was sweet torture, than surely her hesitation would kill him. Derek’s laugh sounded strained. “You would truly test the patience of a saint.”
“I would never mistake you for a saint, my lord,” Johanna responded with a smile. She gave a squeal of surprise as Derek swept her up in his arms.
He carried her to the bed where he dropped her unceremoniously atop the rose petal strewn sheets. “Then you’ll forgive me if I tell you I cannot bear this waiting anymore.” He undid his neck cloth while he kicked off his shoes. The buttons of his shirt took only a twinkling, and suddenly he stood bare-chested before her. When he’d removed his breeches and stockings, Johanna tried not to stare. She’d seen him naked before, had sponged his body when he was delirious with fev
er, but she’d never imagined his manhood erect. She shivered in anticipation.
Derek saw her tremors and paused in the act of removing her stockings and garters. “You’re not frightened, are you?”
Johanna shook her head until she could find her voice. “Should I be?”
“Never of me, sweetheart. I would never hurt you,” he promised.
“I know,” she answered softly. Trust shown in her eyes.
Nothing had ever touched him more.
He loosened her garters and drew them with her stockings down her legs before kneeling on the bed and capturing her lips in a tantalizing kiss. His hand caressed her throat and shoulder, playing with the strap of her chemise. She lifted her hands to his face and traced the stubble along his jaw as she opened her mouth for him to delve inside. He did so with a moan of pleasure, and she ran her hands up into his hair. He had dreamed of the ecstasy of feeling her fingers in his hair.
His kisses moved down her chin and throat to the lace at the top of her chemise. With one hand, he gently cupped a firm breast. She reacted to the heat of his hand with a throaty sigh. He rubbed his thumb back and forth across her silken-covered nipple and watched her back arch in response. Buttons decorated the front of the chemise, and in a moment of passionate savagery, he gripped the fabric with both hands and tore it open, sending the fasteners flying. A plague on buttons.
Johanna’s eyelids fluttered open in question.
“Forgive me, sweet, I couldn’t help myself. You’re so much more beautiful than I imagined.” He bent to kiss her breast.
Sensations rippled through her. No wonder men and women did this. Derek’s hot tongue tickled her nipple, and every muscle in her body grew taut as a bowstring, yet she had never felt so at peace, so complete. He spread his large hand over her other breast, warming her with his palm. Then cool air swept her as he withdrew his hand until only the tips of his fingers traced her nipple. He closed his thumb and forefinger over her aroused pink bud and squeezed gently, sending sparks shooting through her body. Many of them seemed to fly and land between her legs. Johanna squirmed with the embarrassed realization that she wanted Derek to touch her there.
Derek lifted his head from her breast at her wanton movements. Seeing the doubt and embarrassment in her eyes, he smiled slowly. “What you’re feeling is perfectly natural, Johanna. Your body is responding to my touch. It’s beautiful, and it’s flattering. This is how men and women arouse each other.”
She pondered this for a moment, her brow furrowed, her lips slightly parted. “But I don’t know how to arouse you.”
Derek chuckled softly at her disarming innocence. “My dear, I assure you, I am aroused simply by being near you. Seeing your beauty, feeling you move beneath my touch, knowing you are willingly sharing yourself with me, teaching you this pleasure—all these things arouse me.” He rolled on his side and pointed to his erect phallus. “See? Did I not say it would be a gauge of my desire?”
Johanna shyly gazed down Derek’s full length. From the broad chest with its light furring of crisp black hair to the trim hips and muscular thighs and the— Johanna blushed hotly to see that indeed, Derek’s arousal was quite obvious. She looked back at his shamelessly rakish grin and was swept by emotions she barely understood and didn’t dare name. Tentatively, she touched her lips to his. He tasted of brandy and something eternally male. Gaining courage, she brazenly ran her tongue across his full lower lip.
Derek’s reserve broke. He pulled her to him and deepened the kiss, forcing her own lips apart and invading her mouth again with his clever tongue. His hand stroked the center of her ribcage, past her belly to her thigh. He traced the curve of her hip, and cupped her bottom.
She felt the heat of his hand brand her wherever he touched. He caressed the length of her back and the side of her breast before his hand traveled lower a second time. His fingers brushed feather-light across her leg to her inner thigh. Johanna’s legs tensed, but as he gently stroked them, she opened them slightly. With surprise, she realized he had somehow read her secret thoughts, and she awaited his touch with guilty anticipation. When it came, she responded like tinder as his torch-like fingers explored her, tendrils of fire spreading throughout her being. Johanna whimpered a need she didn’t understand against Derek’s mouth. He withdrew from their kiss, and she looked up at him with undisguised passion as he taught her to surrender to the sensations.
Derek quivered with restraint. She’d already been slick with desire when he first touched her. As much as he wanted to sink himself into her and relieve the agony of the past few months, he wanted more to teach her the full power of lovemaking. Her fingers bit into his back, but the pain only made him more aware of her scent, her taste, her sweet trusting response. He continued to stroke her and watched a flurry of reactions flit across her face until she gasped his name from the brink of some mysterious plateau.
He stopped her sighs with a kiss, his tongue roaming her mouth at will, and she responded with wanton abandon as he adjusted himself above her. They twined together, the full length of their bodies touching, and Johanna opened her eyes in wonder at the feel of his manhood radiating against her belly.
“Do you still want me to touch you?” she asked softly against his ear as he devoured her throat.
Derek paused a moment to collect his thoughts. He raised his head to look into those aqua eyes with their liquid silver flames. More than anything he wanted to enter her, to pump his desire into her. He’d die if he had to wait much longer. He swallowed.
“Yes.” His voice was little more than a growl. He rolled onto his back, willingly committing himself to torture.
Johanna’s gaze roamed over him, and she felt proud knowing this magnificent man was her husband. Even if he didn’t love her, she would do her best to make him a good wife in every way. She closed long cool fingers around the pulsating heat of him, and he reacted with a resonant purr. She continued her tentative fondling, exploring his body at her will, until he muttered something like a curse.
“Did that hurt?” she asked with concern.
“No, sweet, but I cannot withstand much more of this.” He took her hand in his, and rolled her onto her back. Her cheekbones were flushed with color and candlelight while rose petals adorned her hair. For the first time in his life, Derek felt foolish with a woman in his bed. “I’ve never taken a woman’s virginity, Johanna. I’m told it can be painful, but the pain will be brief. I promise, after this, I will never hurt you again.”
Johanna nodded, moved beyond reason to know she was the only woman to give this gift to Derek. He touched her with experienced fingertips until she sighed with pleasure once more, then he slid inside her. She felt the pressure of live heat as he slowly filled her. When he stopped all motion, Johanna opened her eyes to see his face taut with strain. He caught her liquid gaze, and leaned down to kiss her. Just as she lost herself in the velvety clutch of his lips, he pulled back, and drove in again with enough force to break through her barrier. She winced with the sudden pain, and Derek stopped moving again.
He raised his head to look at her. There were tears at the corners of her eyes. He wiped them gently with the pad of his thumb. “Does it hurt still, little one?”
Johanna shook her head slowly. Derek framed his hands about her face, as if he would hold her still and prolong this moment indefinitely. She was totally aware of him—this joining of their bodies seemed to fuse their very souls. Now she understood why men and women coupled. She never wanted this moment to end.
Until Derek began to move, and Johanna realized the fires he had stoked within her still raged unchecked. He thrust himself into her with long rhythmic strokes, and her body welcomed his movements. Unconsciously, her hips rose to meet him as he sank into her fervid softness. Derek ran his hand down her leg, and lifted her knee. She followed his lead, and wrapped both her legs around his waist. He groaned with pleasure as his shaft burrowed deeper into her. Beads of perspiration dotted his body as his tightly controlled passion strain
ed to the breaking point. He increased the tempo of his movements, and Johanna felt the dizzying spiral of heat rise within her. She panted in rhythm with him until his name broke from her lips.
Derek watched her closely. “Soon, sweet. We’re almost there.”
Johanna didn’t know what he meant until suddenly a cry burst from her lips in a choking convulsion of delight, and with one last stroke, he poured himself into her and collapsed, rolling her next to him on the bed.
She lay still, damp and dotted with petals while her breathing returned to normal. Never had she imagined anything as beautiful as what she and Derek had just shared. Surely, he couldn’t be this intimate with someone he didn’t love. But then she recalled all the conversations she’d overheard between Derek and Harry and other men around Ambersley—men who spoke of keeping mistresses for pleasure, of begetting heirs, of sharing a bed with their wives only when necessary. None of these men had ever mentioned loving the women they bedded. Derek had spoken no words of love to her, and he didn’t want to hear them from her.
