by Becca Van
“Besides working in a bar, what did you spend your free time doing, Nina?”
“Reading, listening to music, watching movies and TV.”
“And?” Paser raised his eyebrow.
“Helping out in the local shelter,” she murmured.
“I'll bet that's not all, is it?” Pen asked.
Nina shook her head.
“What else?” Paser questioned.
“I used to visit the elderly in the retirement homes,” she mumbled.
“And?” Pen raised an eyebrow knowing there was more she wasn't telling.
“I sat with babies in the hospital and held them when their parents couldn't.”
“You see.” Paser wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer to his side. “We know how good you are on the inside.”
“What has that got to do with anything?”
“Everything.” Pen waved his hand in the air. “You missed out on all those things when you were growing up, didn't you?”
She didn't answer verbally but bit her lip. Pen could see the moisture gathering in her eyes and his heart ached for her. She had had no one to love and care for her and although she had managed to keep herself apart from other people because she was scared to open herself up and get even more hurt, she hadn't kept herself from showering love on others.
Pen cupped her face between her hands and stared earnestly into the depths of her eyes. He swore he could see an aura of pure white light shining from within her very essence. “You are the most loving, giving person I have ever had the fortune to meet. If only more people were like you, there wouldn't be such segregation between the classes. No one would ever go hungry or be without clothes, and not have roofs over their heads.”
“I'm no one special.” Nina glanced to the side before meeting his gaze again. “I don't even know who my parents were.”
“That is neither here nor there, baby.” Pen swallowed around the lump of emotion constricting his throat. “It doesn't matter where you came from. What matters is what you do with your life, and you, Nina Page, should be held up in the highest esteem.”
“Now you're just mocking me.”
Pen hated that she was refuting his statement. “How many other people do you know who would have done the things you have?”
“There are a lot of people who give freely of their time to help others in need.”
“That may be.” Paser gave her a squeeze. “But we aren't concerned with anyone but you.”
“I already have feelings for you, Nina. I care for you more than I have ever cared about another living soul,” Pen put as much sincerity in his voice as he could. He needed her to understand how much she meant to him even if she wasn't ready to hear he loved her.
“But how can you? We've known each other for barely more than a few hours.”
“I care for you, too, sweetheart.” Paser stroked a finger down a cheek. “Do you think we wouldn't know how we feel about someone when we've lived for so long? We were both attracted to you from the moment we set eyes on you. We know the difference between lust and l…caring.”
“Paser’s right.” Pen brushed a strand of hair, which had fallen over her eye, away and nearly smiled when she shivered in reaction. He knew they were getting through to her because he could see the yearning in her eyes every time she looked at them, but Nina was a very deep person. She needed to know that what they had between them was more than desire.
“There's a connection between us, baby, and not just mutual attraction, although that does play a large part in a relationship in the beginning. If the lust is mutual there is usually a spark of physical attraction, but with you there is so much more.”
Pen placed his hand over his heart and drew a deep breath. He knew his next words would either make or break their relationship. If she didn't believe him, she would continue to keep them at an arm's length and maybe even walk away from them when all this was over. It would kill him if she did, but if that was what she wanted, they would have to let her go. However, he wasn't going to go down without a fight. He was used to fighting, but this fight was the most important one of their lives and he wasn't giving up.
“Don't you feel anything for us, Nina?”
She sighed and nodded her head, still gnawing on her lip. Pen wanted to lean in and lick the tortured flesh, but he and Paser needed to convince her to mate with them first. When she agreed to accept them as being theirs, her men, her mates, then he would kiss, soothe and arouse every inch of her beautiful, precious body.
“Tell us the reason for your hesitation, sweetheart,” Paser encouraged.
“What if you find me lacking? What if once we're mated, you realize you don’t like me? You'd be saddled with a woman you didn't love and would end up resenting me. If I allowed myself to care for you and you walked away, I would end up getting hurt.”
“That won't ever happen, baby.” Pen wiped at the tear that leaked from her eye. “We already have feelings for you. We know our own minds and hearts, Nina. We will never leave you.”
“Relationships aren't always smooth sailing,” she said quietly. “We are sure to fight. What then?”
“Everyone fights, sweetheart. No one person is perfect.”
“I know,” she wailed. “I'm not either. You've both got me up on a pedestal and when I fall off, you're not going to like what you see.”
“This is getting us nowhere,” Pen snapped with frustration.
“See, you're already getting annoyed with me.”
“So what?” Pen stood and flung his hands up with exasperation. “I'm only human.”
“But you're not,” Nina cried. “You're demigods.”
The moment she said those words, it was like a light bulb had gone off. She was scared she wouldn't measure up to them because they were Ra's sentinels and more than human.
“What has that got do with anything?” Paser asked in a growly voice.
“Everything.” Nina rose to her feet and began pacing. “I have no idea what I'm supposed to do. Zara told me that if I agreed to be your mate, I would end up like you. What if I stuff up and anger the sun god? Will he come down from the heavens and smite me until there is nothing left? I don’t know the first thing about worshipping a deity. I've never even been to church.”
“Neither have we,” Pen said with a sigh.
Nina turned and looked at him incredulously. “Are you serious?”
“Very. I have never lied to you and I never will. Ra appointed us his sentinels because we were the only slaves to save an elderly man from being beaten to death. He saw something in us that he liked and that was that.” Pen ran his fingers through his hair.
“We aren't saints, sweetheart,” Paser moved closer and clasped her hand. “We've been with women over the centuries. We've made mistakes.”
“You have?”
“Yeah, we have,” Pen replied.
“Like what?”
“We’ve lost people to the shadow demons because we couldn't get a lock on the demonic's location and weren't in time to save the innocents.” Paser rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand.
“But you tried,” she whispered.
“Yes.”
“That's all any of us can do, baby. We try to do our best and if we fail, we can't beat ourselves up over that failure. All anyone can do is be themselves and do the best they can.” Pen cupped her face, leaned in and kissed her on the forehead.
“Ra will never ask you to do anything beyond your ability. If you agree to be our mate, it's going to take time for your powers to kick in, to grow in strength. No one expects you to go out and fight alongside us if you don't wish to, including us.”
“And if I want to?”
Paser moved in behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. “Then we will train you so that you can fight by our sides.”
“You would do that? Really? You would teach me how to fight?”
“If that's what you want, yes,” Pen answered emphatically.
“Thank you.” Nina smiled.
He was stunned by her beauty. She glowed from the inside out and when he met her gaze, he felt like he was drowning in her amazing blue orbs. His body reacted to her scent and her proximity. His cock, which had been half hard or at full attention since he'd met Nina, twitched and filled with blood. He licked his lips and stared at her mouth. The urge to lean down and kiss her was almost too intense to ignore.
Pen didn't even realize he was gasping for breath as hunger surged through his veins until his head began to swim. He needed to claim his mate more than anything else in the world right now, but until he and Paser had her permission to do so, he was scared to touch her. He was worried her would lose control and take what hadn't been freely given, and if that happened, he knew she would end up hating him, and rightly so.
Pen had never felt this way in his long, lonely existence and knew he never would again. Nina was his mate and the only woman he wanted, would ever want now that they'd met. Every other woman before her paled in comparison and he knew no other would measure up to her if she denied them.
He wanted to beg her to say yes. He would even get down on his knees if he thought that would sway her, but he knew it wouldn't. It was her decision to make. He would be devastated if she refused them, but he would have to find a way to live with her decision.
Even if it ended up killing him.
Chapter Seven
Until she'd voiced her concerns about mating with Pen and Paser, Nina hadn't really understood why she was hesitating. She knew that they both believed every word they'd said, and although it humbled her at how they saw her, she wasn't perfect by any stretch of the imagination.
She felt as if a load had been lifted from her shoulders when they told her that there were no expectations on her if she agreed to be their mate. The worry over stuffing up or insulting their sun god had been a like a thorn in her side she hadn't known was there until she'd brushed up against something. Now that they'd appeased her worries, she felt as if she could take the next step. She was more than just attracted to the two men, and from what they'd said, they were, too. Her feelings for them had grown stronger with each minute they spent together and her body had been in a near-constant ache to have their touch.
There really was no reason to deny being their mate anymore. They had cleared up her uncertainties and she was eager to take the next step.
She took several deep breaths, trying to calm her racing heart. She was nervous as hell because she had never been with a man before and she was about to get two. They were also very big, and from the hard ridges she'd felt against her body a couple of times, they were well in proportion in the penis department to the rest of their big, muscular frames.
However, while she'd been cautious about who she let into her heart, she was more than eager to have them make love to her, even if she was a little trepidatious. She knew from their words and actions so far that they would never hurt her physically or emotionally on purpose.
She met Paser's gaze and saw dejection in his eyes, and realized that she had put the look there. She'd hurt him and Pen with her distrust and hesitation, and though she hated what she'd done, it had been necessary for her to understand everything.
They were also right. No one was infallible. No one person could claim absolute perfection or sin-free lives. Humans by nature made mistakes. The only travesty with that was if the lessons learned were ignored.
Plus, this could be her only chance at ever finding love and she had a feeling that the emotions roiling around inside her for the two men would only grow stronger.
She didn't want to have to look back over her life and have regrets. The choices she'd made in her life had been done with cold, analytical calculation that hadn't engaged her heart except when she had been holding those small, precious babies in her arms. Her heart had been fully on board with those beautiful little bundles of joy.
She could continue to go through life looking in from the outside, always being lonely and never feeling much of anything, or she could grab hold of what was on offer and maybe find happiness for the first time in her life.
She wouldn't know unless she chose to take a risk. Wasn't life one big risk after another?
“Yes.”
“What?” Pen's sad eyes lit up with hope as he stared at her.
She glanced at Paser to see he was looking at her the same way.
“Yes, what?” Paser asked in a hoarse voice.
“I want to be your mate.”
The disappointment and dejection left their eyes completely. Slow smiles spread across their faces, transforming their stern visages to joyous handsomeness.
Pen locked gazes with her and clasped her upper arms. “Are you sure, Nina? Once we mate with you, there will be no going back.”
“We won't ever let you go,” Paser declared.
“I'm sure.”
“Thank the gods,” Pen rasped right before his mouth slanted over hers.
Nina clutched at his shirt as his lips moved over hers and his tongue pressed in to rub against her own. She sighed into his mouth, loving his spicy, manly taste and savoring his flavor on her taste buds.
When Paser began to lick and nibble on the skin of her neck, she moaned and tried to get closer to both the men, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t seem to get close enough.
A whimper escaped her mouth when Paser nipped at her earlobe and then sucked on the skin beneath her ear. She shivered as the liquid desire in her belly grew warmer and began to spread to every extremity she had.
Pen twirled his tongue around hers and then sucked on her tip, causing her wet pussy to clench and release more cream onto her already-damp panties. She shifted on her feet and gasped when her belly brushed against Pen's hard cock, and without conscious thought began to rock her hips.
She groaned with disappointment when Pen broke the kiss and didn't even realize her fingers were tangled up in the cotton of his shirt until he pried them loose.
“I need you, baby. So damn much,” Pen's voice was hoarse with desire.
“I need you, too. Both of you.”
“And you shall have us, sweetheart.” Paser swept her from her feet and moved toward the bed. He gently lowered her to the mattress and then his fingers were on the hem of her shirt. He pushed the material up, exposing her lower belly. The brush of his fingers on her heated skin made the muscles on her abs twitch.
“You are so fucking soft.” Paser groaned and then he lowered his head, licking across her stomach, leaving a wet trail which caused goosebumps in his wake as the air in the room cooled her heated, damp flesh. Paser lifted his head, gave her a gentle smile and then pulled her shirt up over her head. When his eyes snagged on her bra-clad breasts, her first instinct was to cover her nakedness, but she held still and let him look. If they were going to be her mates, she would need to get used to being naked in front of them.
“Abso-fucking-lutely gorgeous.” Pen growled, drawing her gaze.
Nina's breath hitched in her throat when she looked at Pen. While Paser had been kissing her belly, he'd taken the time to remove his clothes.
He had wide, muscular shoulders, defined pecs, bulging biceps and a narrow waist. The hair between his pecs made her fingers tingle and she wanted to know whether it was as soft as the hair on his head or coarser, and she would find out soon enough. She let her eyes wander down over his thick, brawny thighs before taking a deep breath and gazing at his groin. Her heart flipped over when she caught sight of his long, thick cock and she licked her dry lips.
“Lie down, sweetheart.” Paser gently pushed on her shoulder and she obeyed his directive without a qualm. He got up onto the bed beside her and pressed his lips to hers.
Nina smoothed her hands over his shoulders, the back of his neck, and threaded her fingers into his hair. He tasted different, but just as good as Pen did, and she never wanted them to stop kissing her. No matter how many times their lips met hers, she knew she would never get enough. She want
ed to crawl in under their skin and worm her way into their hearts, like they had already done to hers.
She felt the bed dip near her feet and then the button on her jeans was tugged open, before they were pulled down over her hips and away. Goose bumps raced over her skin and she shivered, but not because she was cold. The total opposite was the reason she was trembling. Her whole body was on fire.
“Please,” she whispered against Paser's lips.
“We will, sweetheart.” Paser kissed over her shoulder down her arm, and then over the top of her breasts. She didn't even notice he'd unclipped her bra until she felt the straps sliding down her arms.
She startled when large, warm, manly hands smoothed up and down her shins, getting higher and higher with each pass until the tips of Pen's fingers brushed against the edge of her panties.
“I can smell you, baby. You smell so fucking sweet.” Pen kissed her hip before laving the tip of his tongue over the flesh-covered bone. A giggle escaped before she could stop it, but it didn't seem to bother him any.
She held her breath when Pen's thumbs hooked into the waist of her panties and slowly pulled them down. The air left her lungs in a gasp when Paser cupped a breast in his hand and licked over the hard peak.
Her eyes fluttered closed and she arched her chest to get more of the exquisite sensations humming through her body. When Pen's hand cupped her naked mound, she cried out in shocked pleasure. She hadn't been expecting him to do that, but now that he was, she wanted more. He didn't press hard, but the slight pressure on her wet cunt caused her clit to throb and cream dripped from her hole.
“I can feel you,” Pen gasped as he maneuvered between her legs. “I can feel how much you want us. Your little clit is throbbing right along with your heart.”
“Please?” Nina begged and then looked down to meet Pen's heated green eyes. She stared at him in awe when she saw fangs protruding from his mouth.
“Don't be afraid of me, baby. I won't ever hurt you.”
“I'm not afraid.”
“That's good,” Paser said, and when she turned to him, she saw his fangs had also elongated. He winked at her and then dipped his head to her chest. He blew over her nipple, hardening it even more, and then he sucked the peak into his mouth.
