I had to spend much of today with someone I don’t particularly like, and I will have to do it again tomorrow.
This man is a big part of my little circle of friends, but he and I have never seen eye to eye. We met when we were just children here in this very cemetery. He had the audacity to tell me women weren’t as smart or capable as men!
I don’t know why it bothered me so. My mother all but told me that no man would marry me if I appeared too intelligent, but my father was never like that. He provided me a wonderful education. But the older I get, the more I discover he was a rare find among the ton. The truth is, society as a whole thinks of women the same way as Alexander. Even you used to think that, but at least you had the decency to revise your opinion.
Over the years, I have seen nothing to show he has changed his mind on his stance. Just today he called me “silly.” Yet he is surrounded by amazing women. They are all married to his dearest friends. So, how is it possible he sees us only as ornamentation?
And why do I care if he does?
Dear me, I have gone off on a tangent. You don’t want to hear about my trials with a man you don’t even know. So I am going to change the subject to one that I feel is infinitely more interesting…
I know we have kept our identities secret for a reason, but I am beginning to think we should meet. You are the type of person I should like to see in person. I suppose my curiosity has gotten the better of me, but I think our open and honest friendship could survive being brought out into the light.
What do you think?
Sincerely, Grace
After a second and third reading, Alex realized it had to be true. His secret correspondent was none other than Emily Moss.
The same Emily Moss who brought out the worst in him. The same girl with whom he swore he had nothing in common. No common ground, no common way of thinking, nothing besides a hodgepodge group of friends. The woman who hated him with a passion.
How did this happen? Alex thought back to that day in the cemetery when he was just a lad of fifteen years old. Emily had been, what, nine or ten? Was that why his jokes and ribbing about women always made her so angry? In truth, the only part of that conversation he remembered all this time was the part where the tiny girl had said he wasn’t a man and had laughed at him. He had left the graveyard hurt and angry, but even worse was that when he got home he had learned the truth about his father.
All the emotions of that day were wrapped up with his memory of Emily. Good Lord, that was probably the reason he had never liked the little twit, and why he seemed to revert to his childish antics around her. Just seeing her made him feel like that muddy sniffling boy. So he insulted her at every opportunity…and in the most effective way he could. Now he knew that all these years he had just been reinforcing all the horrible things she thought of him.
The damage could be irreparable. He had lashed out in anger as a boy and compounded the issue as an adult.
He did see the amazing women around him. He even considered Emily one of them, but whenever he was around her he said things that had strengthened her bad opinion of him.
Shaking his head, Alexander couldn’t believe what this letter meant. He considered the writer, Grace, a dear friend. He had told her things he wouldn’t have told anyone else. And like her, he was ready to meet her and learn her true identity. If he were being honest with himself, he had been thinking of courting the girl. Once they had met, of course. He already felt like he knew her better than any other woman of his acquaintance, and furthermore he liked her. He had finally met someone with whom he could be his true self. He couldn’t ask for a better potential wife. They had only to see if they would be as compatible off paper as they were on.
He supposed the cat was out of the bag now.
Or was it?
Clearly Emily hadn’t shown him who she was any more that he had. Somewhere in that icy, sarcastic beauty was the woman in the letter. All he had to do was coax her out.
Alex grinned. For once he had the upper hand. Now that he knew the truth, all of his anger and resentment faded away. Today Emily Moss would meet the real Alex Bredon. It may take some time, but somehow, someway he would make that girl see the real him.
…
Emily was in an abysmal mood. She had not slept well the previous night. Her dreams had been full of distorted images of a man in black stalking and threatening her. Her dream self fought back, but he kept coming at her. Finally the stranger overcame her and pinned her on the floor. That’s when the face of the man came into crystal-clear view. The image so scared her that she woke up on the edge of screaming.
It had been Alex’s face.
It had felt so real that Emily had not been able to get back to sleep. Instead she stayed up and reread every letter John had written her. It was a habit she had gotten into whenever she was anxious about anything or had simply had a bad day. But this time it hadn’t worked. It just reminded her of her last letter where she had suggested meeting in person. What had she been thinking? What if he said no? Or worse, what if he stopped writing her altogether? Why couldn’t she just be satisfied with what they had? Why did she always push for more?
And now she had to spend the day with the specter from her dreams. Could things get any worse?
Just then, Emily heard the front door bell ringing. A look at the clock indicated that it was exactly nine. Why couldn’t the blasted man be late? At least then she would have a reason to be angry with him. Yelling at a man for being on time would just be absurd.
Plodding down the stairs with Harriet in tow, Emily ran into the butler, who was coming to let her know about her visitor. She pulled her long cloak more tightly around her. Wearing the cloak over her costume allowed her to come and go without opening herself up to the questioning looks of her staff. Certainly she didn’t want news of her strange behavior getting back to her uncle. Sometimes she went to Hannah’s to change, as she did yesterday, but she didn’t want to drag out this day any longer than need be, so she had decided to dress at home.
She continued her reluctant descent once the butler had been dismissed and, in no time at all, she saw Alex waiting patiently for her in the large and well-appointed foyer.
“Alexander,” she said with a nod.
“Emily,” he replied with a gallant bow. “It is a pleasure to see you.”
Emily stumbled slightly as she looked back at Alex in surprise.
“It is?”
“Of course,” he replied easily. “What man wouldn’t look forward to spending the day with such a beautiful and accomplished woman such as yourself?”
Never had Emily been so shocked. Was Alexander Bredon paying her a compliment? Surely this was just a precursor to some joke or trick. Well, she wasn’t going to fall for whatever the man was up to.
Sniffing, she regained her composure as she looked pointedly at the door.
With another polite bow, Alex opened it with a flourish.
“After you, my dear.”
“Thank you,” she said with a touch of confusion. His behavior continued to be exceedingly odd as he put out his arm for her as he would any other lady. She ignored it, of course. He was dressed as a commonplace workhand but acting as if he were the Prince Regent himself.
What kind of game was he playing?
Alexander continued to act the part of courtier as they drove to and arrived in the city—opening doors, assisting her in and out of the hack, putting himself on the side closest to the street as they approach St. Leonard’s—and Emily was as off-balance as she had ever been. She only hoped she could gather her wits together enough to learn something about Mr. Young and his mystery job.
“Emily!” Eleanor exclaimed upon seeing her friend. “I was not expecting you today.”
Emily leaned in and gave the younger girl a quick hug.
“No, this is an unexpected visit,” she explained, removing her fancy cloak. “This is my, ah…this is Alexander Bredon. He is helping me with a little mystery I need to so
lve. I have instructed my maid to remain in the chapel while we conduct our investigation.”
“I see,” Eleanor replied, taking the heavy garment. “I will keep this with my belongings. Is there any other way I can help?”
“Actually, there is. Are you familiar with the Youngs?”
“The family you visited yesterday? Yes, a little.”
“Do you know the husband in particular?”
Eleanor frowned. “Only by sight, my lady. Although I did serve him once or twice at the pub.”
“Which pub is this?” Alexander asked.
“Tavistock Arms, sir.”
Emily motioned to some nearby chairs, and they all sat down while she continued asking Eleanor questions.
“We heard that Mr. Young had recently taken a second job. A night job. Do you know anything about that?”
Eleanor shook her head. “No, I’m sorry, I’m not familiar with his work habits. I know only that he was devoted to his wife and children.”
“How do you know that?” Emily wondered.
Shrugging, Eleanor said, “Something I heard him say once. At the pub.”
“Was he talking to you?” Alex asked. “What did he say exactly?”
“Hmm, I don’t fully remember. He was talking to a man I had never seen before. Mr. Young was telling him that there was nothing he would not do for his family. He seemed quite emotional about it.”
Emily exchanged a look with Alex.
“Did the men appear to be friends? Meeting for a drink to end the day?”
Eleanor frowned. “Now that you mention it, no. They didn’t seem friendly at all. In fact, Mr. Young seemed almost scared of the stranger or something the stranger said. I am not sure. It was weeks ago.”
“Can you remember what the stranger looked like?” Alex asked.
“Yes,” Emily added. “Was there anything about the man that was memorable?”
“Not really,” Eleanor replied. “It’s always so dark in the pub. Even during the day.”
“Anything you can remember would be very helpful, Eleanor,” Alex added.
Emily kicked Alex lightly. Pressuring the girl wouldn’t get them anywhere.
Apparently, he got the message, because he softened his tone immediately.
“I’m sorry, Eleanor. You have already told us so much more than we knew before. It’s all right if you can’t remember anything else.”
“But there is something,” Eleanor said, shutting her eyes. “I just can’t quite remember… Wait, that’s it. The man, the stranger? There was something about his accent. I think he was trying to disguise his voice, but at one point he got angry with Mr. Young. He forgot to hide his accent. He was French. I am sure of it.”
“French?”
What was a Frenchman doing at the Tavistock Arms threatening Mr. Young?
“Oh, and one more thing,” Eleanor added, her forehead wrinkling in thought, “I think I heard the man say he worked for some brewery or wanted to work for a brewery. Or he wanted Mr. Young to work for one? I’m sorry. That doesn’t seem all that helpful, I suppose.”
“On the contrary, Eleanor,” Alex said, leaning over to pat the girl’s hand. “That is very helpful indeed.”
“Alex is correct,” Emily chimed in, “I think that may just be the information we need.”
“Really? Oh, I am so glad. What are you going to do now?”
That is an excellent question, Emily thought. She had an idea, but she wanted to talk it over with Alexander first. He was proving to be a useful ally for once.
“I think we are going to go and figure that out, Eleanor, but thank you so much for your help once again.”
Her friend smiled. “I am glad I could be of some assistance, as usual, but I have no idea how I did so this time.”
Hugging her friend farewell and taking the cloak that had never made it out of the girl’s arms, Emily said, “Maybe someday I will be able to explain it to you, but rest assured there is a very good reason for all of our questions.”
“Oh, I never had any doubt about that, my lady. There is no better soul on earth than yours, Emily.”
Emily felt herself flush in delight.
“She’s right, you know,” Alex said as they walked to the chapel to collect Harriet. “You are a remarkable person.”
“But…?” Emily prompted, waiting for the inevitable insult.
“No buts. You are remarkable.”
Alex held out his hand to her when they reached the steps to the church, and she took it automatically. In a daze, Emily allowed herself to be guided into the building and then back again to the hack that had been paid to wait for them.
Who was this man? He was nice, respectful, and polite. This was not the Alexander she knew. He was, in fact, the Alexander everyone else said they knew. Had he been this way all along, and she just couldn’t allow herself to see it?
Nonsense. No one changed overnight. Least of all this one.
Once they were in the cab heading God knew where, because the cretin gave directions directly to the driver, Emily decided it was time to find out what was going on.
“What is all this?” Emily asked, waving her hand in his direction.
…
“All what?” Alex replied, wide-eyed.
His plan was going perfectly. He had been a perfect gentleman all day. Already he could see Emily thawing toward him. Had she not taken his hand and followed his lead to and from the church? She even said he was right when he had complimented Eleanor. He could count on one hand the number of times the girl had uttered those words.
“You are being unusually kind to me,” Emily said with a suspicious look. “I want to know what you are planning.”
“Do I have to have a reason to be nice?”
“You do when you are being nice to me.”
Alex sighed. She had a point. He should have known this wouldn’t pass without comment.
“I suppose I am simply tired of fighting with you. It is too much work with very little pay. To be honest I am not even sure why we were fighting in the first place.”
“You know very well why,” Emily exclaimed. “You think women are ninnies.”
“No, I don’t.”
Emily just stared at him as if waiting for him to say more.
When he didn’t, she said, “Do you care to elaborate, because every day I have known you, you have insulted all womankind in one way or another.”
“You are correct. I did do that,” Alex agreed, “but with you only.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means I have great respect for the female of our species. More than most men of my acquaintance, I should think. What I didn’t have was great respect for you.”
Emily gaped openly. “Whyever not? I am well educated. I come from an honorable family. I am this season’s Diamond of the First Order, for goodness’ sake.”
“And you never fail to remind me of that, my lady,” Alex said, not able to keep the derision from his tone. “Instead of telling me all the reasons I should like you, why don’t you let me just figure it out for myself?”
“As if you could do anything on your own. Perhaps I should tell William, and he could fix our relationship.”
The silence that followed that statement was palpable. Alex’s face was inches from Emily’s and he could still hear her final words ringing in his ears. Harriet had shrunk so far into the corner, she was almost invisible. Which was surely her intent.
The insult was deeply felt. It harkened back to a time when he and William were still near enemies, and a very bitter and jaded Alex did everything he could to play the rogue and get into no end of trouble. Many times his brother would have to step in and smooth over the messes in which Alex found himself. Covering debts, diffusing arguments, paying off less than desirable liaisons… Alex wouldn’t be able to be the man he was now if it hadn’t been for William. It was not a time of which he was proud, and he worked very hard to put that dark phase of his life behind him.
> The blow left him stock-still and fuming.
Emily was the first to move. She leaned back and raised a hand to smooth down her already perfect hair.
“Perhaps we should just try to get through this day without any more talking than is necessary, before we say something we will truly regret.”
“Oh I think it is far too late for that,” Alex replied stonily. He slid as far away from Emily as he could get, and he shifted his gaze to look out the window. He could not believe how out of hand that conversation had gotten. He had planned to explain all the reasons why he had been childish and wrong whenever he was around her, but once again she had said just the right things to rile him.
He had taken the bait, but she pounded in the final nail. Now they were back to square one. How could he ever hope to change her mind about him? And did he even want to anymore?
Chapter Nine
Sometimes you just have to apologize. It’s a sign of strength, not weakness.
~The Duke of Lancaster
Emily had never felt so guilty in her life. What she had said about William was inexcusable. Yes, it was true that Alex’s older brother had been responsible for getting the younger man out of many scraps over the years, from being expelled from school to bailing him out of some gambling debt or another. But that had been a long time ago. Since the smuggling affair, Alexander had been a paragon of respectability. She had even heard that he was running one of his family estates now and quite successfully.
It had been beneath her to say such a thing, but Emily had no idea how to even begin to apologize. Theirs was not the kind of relationship that required apologies. They weren’t friends who needed to make up. They were… well, Emily wasn’t precisely sure what they were, but she felt she had better figure it out so that she could deal with the situation properly. Until then, she thought she would be better off finding a new subject on which to dwell.
“Where exactly are we going?” she asked quietly.
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