by Terri Reed
As the words left his mouth, an anger he hadn’t realized he harbored surfaced, bubbling up and erupting like a geyser in his soul. He wanted to roar with rage at God for letting his baby brother die. He wanted to weep with the grief engulfing him. He hung his head and squeezed his eyes tight.
“Oh, Nick. God didn’t do this. Accidents happen. It’s a part of the human condition. We’re frail beings. Your brother made a risky choice. It wasn’t your fault.”
The tears he’d been unable to shed leaked from the corners of his eyes. He shook his head, denying her words, yet he knew what she said was true. God didn’t orchestrate accidents. Cody had made a choice to take that jump in a desire to be like his older brother. No, God wasn’t to blame. Only Nick.
* * *
Anguish for Nick settled in Julie’s chest like a physical ache. He’d taken on the burden of guilt for the random accident that had caused his brother’s death. It wasn’t right for him to feel so guilty, yet she didn’t know how to help.
She slid her arms around him and held him, hoping to offer some comfort. He remained stiff and unyielding. She pulled back to look into his eyes. His inscrutable gaze stared back, leaving her cold.
After a long moment, he said, “It’s late. You should go to your room.”
The rejection stung, though why she couldn’t fathom. It wasn’t as if she was pinning her heart on him. She let her arms fall away from him and stood. Despite her best intentions to shake off the prick of refusal, everything inside of her threatened to disintegrate into a puddle at his feet. Wrapping her arms around her middle, she stiffened her spine and plastered on a tight smile. “I hope you’ll change your mind about church in the morning.”
She turned and fled, closing the door to her room and leaning against the wood. Her heart raced and her mind brimmed with jumbled thoughts.
Nick Walsh was right down the hall.
He’d needed a safe place to stay. Concern for his safety had prompted the offer. It was a good solution. For him. But not so much for her.
Not only because of the danger looming over him like a dark cloud.
But because of the attraction she was fighting.
She should have left for her own home as soon as she’d settled them all in their rooms, but she’d wanted to know more about Nick, wanted to ask about church and make sure he knew he’d be welcomed.
She hadn’t counted on seeing his tears. Or having him push away her offer of comfort. And she sure hadn’t figured on hurting, for him or because of him.
The last thing she wanted was to be attracted to him. Nick was not the type of guy she needed in her life. His life was transient, traveling from one competition to another, or spent at one of several training centers during the off-seasons. He wasn’t the kind to settle down, to build a life in the place where they’d grown up. She couldn’t imagine living anywhere but Bend. She’d known even in grade school that Nick was destined to leave. He’d always talked about seeing the world. And skiing had been his ticket to fulfill that dream.
No, when the time came and she was ready to put her heart out there again, it wouldn’t be with a hotshot skier.
She wanted stable and steady. The kind of guy she’d never have to worry wouldn’t return unscathed from some adventure or who would cheat on her just for the thrill of it. Someone whom she could always count on to be there for her. Someone who wouldn’t push the limits to the extremes.
She had to keep Nick in perspective.
He was an old acquaintance who needed her support and could help her land her dream job in the process. Nothing more than that.
* * *
Nick tossed and turned, his mind replaying the moment when he’d tried to do the right thing by calling a halt to whatever was happening between him and Julie before the embers of attraction burst into flames. He’d hurt her. He’d seen it in her eyes, in the pinched lines around her mouth.
It was better this way, he rationalized. Better for them both to keep their relationship purely platonic. A working relationship. Except he was staying in her stepfather’s home as a guest with her down the hall. At the time, it had seemed like the only choice to keep himself and his teammates safe.
But now...more than his life was at risk.
Friends. They could be friends. Except...except she’d basically said she believed all the gossip about Cody despite no proof or his word that the rumors weren’t true.
In a moment of weakness, he’d let down his guard. He couldn’t do that again.
A noise broke the silence of the shadowed room.
He sat up. Straining, he listened. The hairs on his arms rose and a shiver of unease slid down his neck. He climbed from the bed and made his way to double-check the window. The latch was turned. Still locked. Nick peered into the darkness beyond the windowpane. Through the glow of the moon, he could see the outline of patio furniture and some sort of rock sculpture in the backyard. Trees crusted with ice swayed.
Wind. He’d only heard the wind. He rolled his shoulders and forced himself to relax.
Now that he was up, he was thirsty. He left his room and made his way toward the kitchen. The refrigerator door’s light glowed bright, giving off enough illumination for him to find a glass in the cupboard.
The tingling sensation in his fingers as he gripped the cup sent an alert signal jolting through him; tingling in his extremities was a sign his vitamin stores had dropped. He winced, remembering he hadn’t taken his vitamin pack this morning. Part of his daily regimen was drinking a powdered mix of vitamins and minerals, with an extra dose of the B’s. He could only blame his forgetfulness on the near-death experiences of the day.
Thankfully, he had vitamins in his luggage. He filled his cup from the refrigerator door. He had taken two steps when a whisper of movement froze him in place.
His heart hammered at his ribs.
Had the noise he heard earlier been an intruder? Had someone breached the safety of the house?
Caution pimpled his skin like moguls on a mountain. His frantic gaze searched the darkness for an enemy.
For a weapon.
EIGHT
Sudden light filled the kitchen.
Blinking against the assault to his eyes, Nick’s gaze zeroed in on Julie and the blood rushed to his head. He planted his feet wide as the momentary adrenaline blast ebbed, slowly draining into the floor. Not an intruder.
Putting a hand over her heart, Julie let out a noisy exhale. Beneath her Scottie dog–printed red flannel pj’s, her shoulders were hiked to her ears, and the expression on her face reminded him of a rabbit caught in the garden. She looked ready to bolt. He’d felt the same just moments before.
“Sorry,” Nick said, keeping his voice low. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”
Visibly shaking off her fright, she moved to the cupboard. “You didn’t. I’ve been up for a while.”
“Bad dreams?”
Taking out a mug, she shook her head. “Too keyed up. You?”
“I was thirsty.” He held up the glass of water in his hand.
“Would you like some hot tea?”
“Water’s good.”
She filled the mug with water from the insta-hot plumbed into the sink and dropped a chamomile tea bag into the steaming liquid. She moved into the living room and flipped on the gas fireplace. An orange-and-gold flame danced in the hearth. Nick turned off the kitchen light and joined her on the overstuffed leather couch. He stretched out his long legs and made himself comfortable. A decorative pillow separated them.
Aware of his close proximity and the musky smell of him, Julie grabbed an afghan from the back of the couch and spread it over herself like a shield against the force of his magnetism. He shouldn’t look so good with his dark hair all bed mussed and his jaw unshaven. He had on sweat bottoms and a T-shirt that stretched across well-defined chest muscles. The bruise on his left arm was already starting to change from the deep purple to the slightly greenish hue of healing.
She sipped from her tea and concentrated on the
dancing flames.
After a silent moment, Nick said, “This is nice.”
She glanced at him, wondering what he meant. She decided to take his words at face value. “Yes, it is. The house is great. My mom was happy here.”
“It’s not often I get to kick back and just be,” he said.
“Be?”
“Yeah. Most of the time I’m traveling in the motor home with the guys or staying in hotels. It’s nice to be in a real home. It’s nice to be here with you.”
Not sure how to feel about the last part of his comment, especially after the way he’d rebuffed her earlier, she said, “Don’t you have a home base?”
“I have a condo in Lake Placid near the training center. But I’m there less than half the year. The rest of the time I’m traveling.”
“That must get tiring. I can’t imagine sleeping in a motor home for days on end or staying in strange hotels night after night.”
“Yeah, this lifestyle can be brutal at times.”
“But you love it, right?”
“I don’t know if love is the right word. It was exciting at first. But I’m getting on the old side of this sport.”
She snorted. “Right, like twenty-six is old.”
“It is in aerials. I’m the oldest on the team. And the young bloods are waiting for me to retire so they can move up.”
“The competition doesn’t end on the slopes then.”
“No, it doesn’t.”
Julie thought of the line of helmeted, goggled competitors watching intently during the competition. The threatening note he’d talked about that had said Time to Die.
“Could the reason someone is trying to kill you be to hurry along your retirement?”
“Detective Agee asked me the same thing. And, no, I can’t believe that anyone on the team would resort to murder to get ahead.”
“You never know what anyone is capable of.”
“I suppose. But we’re a tight group. I’d know if one of them wanted me dead.”
“Maybe, maybe not. Is there anyone on the team who you don’t get along with? Any sort of contention among your teammates? Even jokingly? Sometimes what we think is in jest can hide maliciousness.” She remembered the way Frank had acted earlier. She hated to think he’d have anything to do with the threat against Nick.
He stared into the fire for a moment, then shook his head. “Not that I can think of.”
“How well do you know Lee and Frank?”
His gaze snapped to her. “Well. They aren’t just competitors. Not even just teammates. They’re like brothers to me and Cody.” His gaze dropped as he said his brother’s name.
“I didn’t mean to upset you.”
He visibly shook off the grief and smiled at her. “You know, you’d make a good detective.”
She laughed. “Asking questions is how I hope to make my livelihood.”
“True. I don’t remember you being so inquisitive.”
“I was always inquisitive, just too shy to ask.”
“You grew out of that.”
“Maturity and practice.”
“How did you end up working for a television lifestyle magazine?”
“It was a God thing.” She slanted him a glance to see how he’d react to her statement.
“How do you mean?”
Maybe if he heard her story, he’d be more willing to cooperate. “I was finishing up my sophomore year of college and needed to decide which direction to take my learning in. One of my advisors, a dear Christian man who I respected a great deal, called me to his office and said he knew of a paid internship that he thought I’d be perfect for. At a television station as a production assistant’s assistant. Professor Lemeke said he knew I was struggling to find where I belonged and that he had been praying for me. He said he had a strong feeling this was the path God had for me. I was skeptical. I couldn’t see myself working in the television industry but felt like I should at least go to the interview he’d set up out of respect.”
“The interview must have gone well.”
“It did. I liked the production manager and the production assistant. And I was taken with the energy of the station and the personalities. I jumped in and it was the best decision for me. I did find the place where I belonged. I thought maybe I’d work toward writing the copy for the news or something like that.”
“So now you’re on the cusp of a promotion to anchor a lifestyle television show. How did that happen?”
“Some would say by chance, but I believe God had His hand on me. I’d been working there for two years while studying broadcast journalism. One day the host of Northwest Edition got food poisoning and couldn’t go on. The production staff was in a panic. They decided to rerun an old interview Gloria had done with a local business owner. But they needed someone to introduce the segment and explain that Gloria was ill. The production manager decided a warm body was better than nothing. Next thing I know I’m sitting in makeup. Then in Gloria’s chair. All I had to do was read from the teleprompter.”
“And you were a natural,” Nick stated.
“No, not hardly. I was stiff and scared and stumbled a bit over the words. But it was the most exciting and fun thing I’d ever done. The production manager was pleased. But more importantly, the station owner was pleased. They hired a cohost not long after Gloria’s incident so that they’d always have someone to be on air. But the experience sparked something in me. I took on-camera acting lessons in addition to my college work. And Bob has worked with me, helping me to become comfortable in front of the lens.”
“Good for you.”
“It could be.” She turned to face him and tucked her feet beneath her. She needed to make him understand how important this promotion was to her. “For the longest time it was just my mom and me. We had to be independent. We had to learn to take care of ourselves. Then she met and married Marshal. All of a sudden someone else was taking care of us.”
“That must have been a huge blessing for your mother.”
Unexpected tears flooded her eyes. “It was. They were good together. He was good to her. Real good.” Grief stabbed at her. Even though it had been over two years since her mom passed on, she missed her dearly.
“I sense there’s a but in there,” Nick said softly.
She sighed. “But with Marshal everything is conditional. If I wanted something from him I had to earn it.” She blinked back the tears. “In exchange for help with my college expenses, I had to spend my weekends, breaks and summers working for him. He really was hoping I’d take over his business, since neither of his other kids were interested.”
“You aren’t interested.”
“No. And he wasn’t happy when I took the job at the station. But I’m not interested in real estate. Especially not now that I could actually get promoted and make some decent money. I’ll be able to pay off the last of my loans and then be completely independent from Marshal.”
Nick reached over and placed his hand on her knee. “I hope you get that promotion.”
“With your help, I will.”
The grim set to his mouth and the pensive way his gaze contemplated the fire sent a ribbon of unease unfurling through her. She was acutely aware that he still had the power to pull the plug on this project. Her boss had promised Gordon that he and Nick could review the piece before the story aired, which meant there was still a chance of losing the promised promotion.
Her fate was in Nick’s hands.
Determination slid into place. She’d have to make sure he left any and all plugs well enough alone.
* * *
The church service ended on a familiar hymn. Nick didn’t need to look at the hymnal; the words to “Amazing Grace” were etched in his heart and mind. From his place at the back of the balcony, he couldn’t see the congregation below in the nave, but he could hear the voices raised in song. Beside him Julie’s soft soprano harmonized with his baritone.
The smile she sent his way as the song ended sent his hear
t tripping over itself.
“You have a great voice,” she commented and flipped her braid over the shoulder closest to him.
For a moment he was distracted by the fresh sunshine smell of her hair. All through the service he kept catching a whiff of her scent, which provided a pleasant relief to the musty odor of the balcony. “You do, too.”
Putting her hand on his arm, she said, “I’m so glad you relented and came with me.”
He covered her hand, enjoying the soft, smooth feeling of her skin close to his. “Me, too.” He held her gaze. “Talking to you last night helped me, a lot. I really appreciate your willingness to listen and offer wisdom.”
“I’m not sure how wise I was, but I’m glad to know my words helped.”
“More than helped.” After he’d left her in the living room, he’d gone to his room and, for the first time in nearly a year, prayed. He’d poured out his heart to God, giving Him the anguish and pain of losing Cody. And relinquishing the fear of the unknown person wanting him dead. Nick trusted God to protect him and those he cared about. Including the beautiful woman sitting beside him. He liked the way the green of her sweater changed the color of her eyes to a teal that reminded him of the Arabian Sea off the coast of India.
She rose and held out her hand. “You ready to see your parents?”
“I don’t think I should go down there. Too many people,” he said, though it was nerves, not fear, that had him stuck to the pew.
Julie patted his knee. “I’ll bring them to you.”
His mouth went dry as she walked away, disappearing down the staircase that would take her to the narthex. She would pass Ted, who’d taken a position at the bottom of the stairs after he’d cleared the balcony.
A few minutes later Nick heard footsteps on the stairs and then his mother’s voice.
“What is this about, Julie? You’re being so mysterious.”
He hissed in a breath as a shaft of pain and longing hit him. It had been too long since he’d seen his mom.
His father noticed him immediately when he reached the top of the stairs. A wide smile broke out on his weathered face and he stepped forward to draw Nick into a fierce hug. “You’re all right?” He leaned back to look in Nick’s face. “We saw the crash on TV.”
