Luella’s Longing: Romance on the Oregon Trail Book Two

by Ball, Kathleen

  Heath took off before Declan was finished. “I appreciate you all coming out here. If a few could stay by the fire this evening before you move on tomorrow I’d appreciate it.” He didn’t know what else to say.

  Harrison took over. “We all have our duties mapped out for us; we might as well go about them. I hope we find her Declan.”

  “Me too.” He turned his horse around and slowly proceeded down the river. “Me too,” he whispered.

  The mosquitos were getting thick, and they made an already intolerable situation even worse. He found a stick and hit bushes next to the river with it. He only ended up scaring a few animals. Where was she? He continued on into late afternoon, though he began to doubt she’d gotten this far.

  Then he saw it; a round gold ring on the ground. He immediately jumped down and snatched up the ring then studied the area before he walked over any tracks. He could see two sets of prints. One of them wore moccasins. From what he could tell, the man had helped her out of the water. They had taken a few steps and then he’d picked her up and carried her.

  Declan followed the footprints until they stopped at a set of unshod hoof prints from probably an Indian pony. The Indian had made no attempt to hide the tracks so Declan knew which direction they were traveling in. North.

  He needed to leave a trail for Heath. He saw gray yarn snarled up in a bush and tried his best to untangle it. Next he hung long pieces from branches He tied the ring to one of them. After that, every half mile or so he hung another. He was aware that he was steadily climbing through sand. He could see a long way, yet there was no sign of Luella. He turned to go back toward the river so his horse could graze and get some much needed rest. What seemed to be a small game path off the main trail caught his eye, and he saw the dress she’d worn all torn and mangled and thrown on the ground.

  He jumped off his horse and drew his gun. He turned in a slow circle but saw no one. Breaking down and weeping was not an option, maybe she was still alive. If she was, she would need him to have his wits about him. He picked up the dress and studied the ground. There appeared to have been a scuffle, but he saw no sign of her being pushed to the ground. That was a good thing. He stood there listening, striving to hear something, anything that would give him hope. But the only sound was the rushing of the confounded river. He walked in a circle and tried to find their tracks. He found a few of the beads like the ones used to decorate their clothes strewn on the ground, and he headed in that direction.

  Heath would never be able to find him now. If anything happened to Heath too…

  Had Eagle Nest taken her? Was she still alive? He could kick himself for listening to others’ falsehoods against her. She never once gave him reason to doubt her. He should be horse whipped for his actions. He should have stayed by her side and stared down anyone who dared to say anything unkind. His actions had probably condemned her in their eyes.

  He was the one who was no good. Even if she was with child, that child would become his. He’d never turn his back on a wee babe. Her blessing would be his. If only she’d just told him.

  He kept to the trail but lost where they had stepped off it. Where could he have taken her? Beyond the trees there wasn’t anything to see. They must be in the forest he was in. He went back to where he’d last seen their tracks and began to circle out from that point. If they’d changed direction, he hoped to find some indication of it so he could follow.

  His eyes moistened as he imagined all the things that could be happening to her, his wife, his a mhuirnín, his grá mo chroí.

  Please Lord, keep her safe.

  The sun would begin its descent all too soon. She could be dead and he’d never know, just like Alana. He took a deep breath. Alana good bye to ye lass. You filled my heart for more than half my life. Slán as anois, Good bye for now. If anyone is with the good Lord, it’s you.

  “Declan! Declan you fool where are you?”

  He turned to the sound of his brother’s voice and rode toward it.

  Heath jumped down from his mount with Luella’s wedding band in his hand. “You need to come with me and give this back to your wife!”

  Declan slide down to the ground. “What?”

  Heath caught him in a big bear hug. “She’s alive, so very alive and wants you.”

  Declan felt the smile spread across his face. He took the ring from Heath and put it on his little finger. “What are we waiting for?”

  They both mounted, and he wished he could run the horse the whole way but that was no way to treat a horse that had helped him all day. Finally he could see the fire by the bank. He wanted to know what happened, but Heath said it wasn’t his story to tell except that she was unharmed.

  He didn’t wait for the bay to come to a full stop before he had both feet on the ground. There she was, her hair wet, and she was wrapped in a blanket. He’d never seen a grander sight. His heart beat quickened as he closed the distance between them. He put his hands on her cheeks and stared into her shimmering blue eyes.

  He felt his own tears on his cheeks as he leaned forward and placed his lips upon hers. So many emotions filled him as he pulled her closer. Love, relief, and thankfulness. He was oh, so grateful. He’d thought deep down he’d never see her again.

  “Grá mo chroí,” he whispered in her ear before he let her out of his embrace. He took her hand. He couldn’t take his eyes off of her.

  “I’m so glad to see you, Declan. There were a few times I thought my time had come.” A shaky smile lit her face. “You are the most handsome man I’ve ever seen.”

  Smiling, he scrubbed a hand down his face, not quite managing to suppress a chuckle. She’s almost drowned and here she was calling him handsome.

  Her smile faded. “My parents? Where are they? Did they help look for me?”

  “They went on with the rest of the train to the next campsite a way ahead.”

  A great pain crossed her face.

  How he wished he hadn’t had to tell her that. He took her hands in his and squeezed. “They don’t matter. Only you and I matter. Have you eaten? Are you warm enough? What can I get for you? All our things are in the water now, but we’ll find a way. I promise we’ll get where we’re headed.”

  Cora stood with Essie in her arms. “Harrison and Zander went back to the Mormon post, and you now have a new wagon with what you need. I hope. You know how men can be.” She laughed and cried.

  Luella reached for Nessie and snuggled her close. “You will be just fine, aren’t you little one?” She handed the baby to Declan and smiled when he held her.

  Harrison walked down to the fire and hugged Luella. Then he took his baby back. “You’re parked next to our wagon. You are such a fine sight, Luella and it’s nice to see a smile on your face Declan. Bless you both.”

  “Let’s get you into some warm clothes, Luella.” Declan swung her up into his arms and headed toward camp. She touched his face and shoulders the whole time as though she was making sure he was real. “I’m told they set a tent up.”

  “Are you hungry?” he asked.

  “I’m more tired than anything, and I want to lay down with your arms around me.”

  Smiling, he opened the flap to the new tent allowing her to go first. She gasped and he followed her inside. A new tick mattress sat to the side, piled with quilts that the other women must have donated. The one on top was a wedding pattern, one he recognized that his ma had made when times had been a bit easier. A nightgown lay on the bed, and a trunk also had been placed in the tent with a new dress on top of it.

  “Oh my. If all I had was you, Declan, it would be more than enough.”

  He took the blanket from her and was surprised to see her in an Indian dress. Her expression was one of fear. He took a step and held her. “I thought you were taken by Indians. I found your dress.”

  “Swift Eagle found me — that’s his real name, not Eagle Nest. He pulled me half dead from the dark water. I couldn’t find which way was up and I couldn’t come up for air. He grabbed m
e and pulled me out. He put my wedding ring on the bank where he pulled me out for someone to find and know I had made it out of the water. There were other Indians about, but he said they weren’t as friendly. I must have fainted. I woke and I was wearing this. I got upset, but he explained it was supposed to have been my dress for my wedding to him. He promised he didn’t touch me in that way.” She swallowed hard. “I—I believe him.”

  She took her night gown and asked for his help in getting the other dress off. It surprised him she wasn’t wearing anything under it. He quickly averted his eyes and put the dress on the trunk as she got her night gown on.

  “I believe him,” she repeated.

  “I do too,” he whispered. “He would have taken you with him if he had done anything.”

  Luella nodded. “I’m grateful to him.”

  “Are you sure you’re fine? What about the baby?”

  Her smile faded and she crawled into the bed and under the covers. “There is no baby.”

  He reeled backwards a step in horror. “It died?”

  She turned her back to him. “Unless a miracle has occurred, there is no possible way for me to be with child.” She kept her back to him.

  “You aren’t, I mean weren’t…?”

  “I was so happy to see you, so happy to be alive. I never thought you’d make me cry tonight. I’ve always worked hard and tried to please my parents. I would never—it wouldn’t occur to me to— I wasn’t brought up that way. Believe it or not, but Cora is the only friend I’ve ever had.” Her words conveyed deep sadness, and he sensed she was close to tears. “It’s been such a hard day. I thought my time with you had come to an end and that made me the saddest of all. I don’t deserve questions or doubts about my innocence. I only have one way to prove it to you, and right now I don’t want to be touched by anyone.”

  His mouth opened, but he didn’t know what to say. She’d told him before that she was pure, and he’d never believed her.

  “I hadn’t thought about it before, but now people will assume as you did, that I lost the baby. My vindication was to have come when there wasn’t a baby—” Her voice broke and she sniffled.

  “Did anyone look you over?”

  “I said I was fine.”

  “How could anyone be fine in that river? Tell me you didn’t hit a rock or two.”

  “I did, and more than two.” She turned over and looked at him, eyes spilling over, cheeks damp from the tears.

  “You have bruises forming on your head,” he said.

  “I expect so and my shoulders and legs too, and my back feels like the skin has been rubbed off. I didn’t hurt much before, but now…”

  “Let me check and see what is in the wagon.”

  He went outside and looked up at the bright moon and the shimmering stars. He’d hurt her and he hadn’t meant to. It was concern for her, but she didn’t see it that way. He found the medical supplies in the wagon and grabbed salve and bandages and a few cloths. Then he filled a basin with water. He’d have to minister to her.

  It would not be easy.

  * * *

  Luella tried to stay still, but each time he touched her back she flinched away. She felt Mrs. Chapman’s death more keenly than ever now that she was in need. Try as she might, she couldn’t get his words out of her head. He’d never believed her about the baby. He had never given her the benefit of the doubt; she just thought he had. If he had told her something, she would have believed him. Their marriage was one big mistake that hurt her daily, and the hurt kept growing.

  She’d smile and let everyone know how happy they were but she’d always know he didn’t trust her. It stung and unlike the abrasions on her body, her heart wouldn’t heal as fast if ever. She’d kept herself covered as he tended to her, so he didn’t see anything but the one spot he was tending. But one day he might and the thought of that happening embarrassed her. There was no help for it.

  She straightened her gown as he put the supplies away and lay down on her side with her back toward him. She hadn’t a clue how to be a wife. She didn’t want to be a wife anymore, but that wasn’t a choice until they reached Oregon. Jumping out of her Pa’s wagon had cost her everything. Everyone did it and a few had gotten hurt, but she’d thought she knew what she was doing.

  He got into bed and she leaned up and blew out the candle. He moved closer, and she stiffened. He must have noticed because he moved back and put more space between them.

  There was so much about what happened she wanted to tell him. Swift Eagle laughed and laughed about being called Eagle Nest. He was a good man, and he’d find himself a good bride. He had told her he was Sioux and he was on his way back to his people. She’d heard such horrible things about them, but he was nothing like those tales. He’d shown her the eagle feathers he’d gotten on his trip and he had given her one. He honored her.

  She laughed and cut it short, hoping Declan hadn’t heard her unintended noise.

  “What’s so funny?”

  “Swift Eagle thought the name Eagle Nest was very amusing.”

  “You told him that?”

  “Yes. He was a gentleman, and he saved my life. I’m never going to cross a river again.”

  “I wish we wouldn’t have to but there are more to come. I’ll keep you safe.”

  Her eyes welled up again. “Thank you.” She wanted to know what grá mo chroí meant, but she had her pride.

  She woke the next morning hearing whispers and closed her eyes. Dismay washed over her. Nothing had changed, and her heart ached. Why were some women naturally cheerful and friendly? Others didn’t seem to care and kept to themselves. She hadn’t noticed any other woman like herself who was longing for a sense of belonging. She did have Cora, and for that she was grateful.

  Taking a fortifying breath she sat up, wincing in pain, and then stood. Every muscle screamed and felt weak. She made it to the trunk and sat down. The dress on it was a pretty sky blue calico and she bet the trunk held new underclothes. She sat for a moment, resting and catching her breath.

  Declan entered the tent and his expression turned to one of concern when he saw her. “Hurting?”

  “Yes, every part of me.” She’d wanted to add including her heart, but she wasn’t brave enough to say it.

  “Let’s get you standing so I can get the rest of the clothes. Cora will be here in a bit to help you.” A muscle worked in his jaw as he seemed to struggle with his next words. “Luella, I made a mess of everything last night. I opened my mouth when I should have stayed quiet.”

  “No, Declan, you should always say what you mean. I just thought we were past the doubts about me, and the hurt went deep. After Cora helps me, I’ll get breakfast made.”

  He got out all she needed and helped her to sit back down. Then he gave her a nod and left her alone.

  Chapter Six

  “I’d like to walk today. If you’ll slow down I can get down,” she said to Declan. Those were the first words spoken in at least two hours. They were riding through dry dust, and once in a great while they were lucky to spot a bush.

  “I’d rather you sit in the back of the wagon if the dust is too much up here.”

  “I just need to stretch my legs a bit is all.”

  He shook his head. “We’ll talk about it tonight.”

  “You mean when we are done for the day? Are you afraid I’ll go off with another man?” Her patience was at an end. He’d been treating her like glass for the last two days and refused to allow her out of his sight. At first she thought he was afraid she’d get lost or hurt again, but it finally hit her. He wanted to be sure she wasn’t meeting anyone.

  The realization battered her spirit. She needed to go talk to the reverend and see about getting a Bible to read. That had brought her such comfort. She had to sleep in the wagon alone and if Declan was on guard duty, Zander or Heath slept under the wagon. But those times when she couldn’t sleep, she had appreciated having Declan’s Bible for company.

  Ahead of them, she spotted
Cora walking with Essie; apparently Harrison trusted her.

  Luella turned her head and watched the dry earth as they went by. What had she done? God help her but she’d rather be back with her family. At least she knew what to expect day in and day out. Declan never mentioned the future, probably because they didn’t have one together. It was hard to pay for unknown sins.

  She coughed some dust out of her throat. The air was dry too. They needed to conserve water. There wouldn’t be more for a few days. They’d been rationing except for Heath. He thought he needed to wash up. She’d never seen anything like it. Others were also taking baths and washing clothes at night. What happened if a wagon ran out? Was the rest of the party supposed to share their carefully saved water? She would say something to Heath tonight. They’d even had to use their own water for the oxen. Most of the wives and families walked to give the livestock a bit of relief.

  She’d seen their eyes widen a bit as she and Declan went by. Yes, she needed a Bible.

  A few hours later, as the sun began to rest, they stopped. The captain had warned all of them about the alkali water in the area and how it could make a person sick, but she’d seen people drink it.

  The train stopped and she started to climb down.

  “Wait.” Declan rounded the oxen and lifted her down to the ground. His hands on her waist felt so nice, and that humiliated her. Maybe people just knew by looking at her she was bound to be wanton.

  “Will you speak to Heath about using so much water? He’s washing up while the rest of us are filthy.” she asked. “What if we run out?”

  Declan let go of her and nodded. “I will. Don’t overdo it. This dust and heat can take a toll on a person.”

  “Yes.” She walked to the back of their wagon and spotted the reverend’s wagon. She hurried over to it and spoke to his wife, who was overjoyed to be of help.

  Luella smiled walking back to the wagon. Her Bible was brand new and wrapped in a fine piece of cloth.