Raising my eyes, I saw Cal watching the scene, his expression now unreadable. I knew his concerns but Cal and I weren’t acting romantically towards one another. In fact, it was the opposite. He’d pulled completely back. There was no hint of the interest he’d previously shown, albeit cautiously. He was sticking to the plan. Friends to make things easy on everyone else. It was the best plan. Even if my heart didn’t think so.
Ten minutes later, George was asleep, having crawled up on to the sofa, and Cal was scooping him up, tipping him gently against his chest as he settled him in his arms. At least he wasn’t going to have any awkward moments about the bedtime story now.
‘Can I help at all?’ I asked.
Cal shook his head, keeping his eyes averted from mine as he made his way across the room. ‘I’ll be back shortly. You don’t have to do all the rest. I’m sure I can work it out.’ He conceded the slightest of glances as he left and then they were both gone, heading up the corridor to the little boy’s room.
‘Right,’ I said to myself quietly as I sat back down on my knees. I trailed one of the tactile wall hangings to and fro through my fingers a minute, thinking. Remembering the distinct bewilderment on Cal’s face earlier as he’d stood looking at all the decorations, I grabbed another pile and headed back into the dining area of the kitchen and set to work. By the time he came back about ten minutes later, I was already well on the way into turning it into a grotto fit for a five-year-old elf.
‘Blimey. How long was I gone?’
I laughed. ‘I’m good at cars, and I’m good at this.’
Cal looked around. ‘You can say that again. How do you know what to do with all this?’ He took a chair at the table where the rest of the supplies were piled and began looking through them.
‘That little shop of ours has taught me a lot about decorating for Christmas. I just grew up doing it. And my parents love Christmas so there’s always been tonnes of stuff to put up at home. I guess I just learned in a sort of osmosis fashion through them.’
Cal stood, taking the end of the garland of stripy candy canes I was currently stretching to reach and secure.
‘Where do you want it?’
I looked up. ‘It’s your house. I was just passing the time.’
Cal looked around. ‘It’s been time well spent. If you have a little more, I’d be grateful if you didn’t leave me floundering with all this stuff. Honestly, I haven’t a clue. I’m not very good at all this. George was right. Our decorations were a bit sparse. I could do a tree – although to be fair Martha’s done that for the last few years, which is why it doesn’t look like a Christmas department threw up on it. I provide the tree and she does the rest with George.’
‘That’s nice though.’
‘I did come in in time to help him put the star on the top.’ There was something in his face that made me stop.
‘You can only do so much, Cal. You’re only one person.’
‘Yeah. I know. I just … The older he gets the more aware of stuff he is. Christmas, I mean. I want to get it right for him.’
‘There’s no right and wrong when it comes to Christmas. You just do what you feel.’ He was still holding the end of the garland so I gently held his arm and guided it into the place I wanted it fixed. ‘There. That’s perfect.’ We both stood back and looked.
‘It is,’ Cal said. He reached up and tapped one of the candy canes, sending the rest gently swinging too.
‘What if you don’t feel anything about Christmas?’
I stopped searching through the decorations. ‘What do you mean?’
He shrugged. ‘I don’t know. I just don’t get all the excitement about it. Obviously it’s been easier since George arrived because he’s naturally excited but I still don’t really get it, as such. We’ve actually gone abroad mostly.’
‘Oh.’
He lifted a rather mischievous-looking angel from the table. ‘Where am I putting this?’
I pointed to a space on the deep windowsill of the breakfast nook. He put it down, and glanced over his shoulder to check with me on the position.
‘Just to the left a bit and that will leave us space for these.’ I picked up the other decorations I’d put aside for this space and put them into Cal’s outstretched hands.
‘Why do you go abroad for Christmas?’
Cal took a deep breath in. ‘I guess it’s easier.’
‘Than what?’
He opened his mouth then closed it again. ‘I don’t know. It just seemed like the best option. It’s not like we have family or anyone to celebrate with and at least if we’re at a place with a kids’ club, George gets to mix with others and have fun on the day rather than sitting here with just me.’
‘Oh, Cal.’
He frowned. ‘I’m not looking for sympathy, Lexi. You asked a question and I answered it.’
I took the next ornament from him. ‘I wasn’t giving you pity. I was just …’
‘What?’
‘Thinking how wrong you are if you think George wouldn’t have a good time if it was just you. Anyone can see how much you do for him and how much he adores his dad.’
‘Thank you,’ he said, eventually, following my lead and beginning to put some of the other ornaments out.
‘Did you not have any good Christmas experiences growing up?’
Cal concentrated on positioning the ornaments. For a moment I didn’t think he was going to answer but then, without looking at me, he spoke. ‘There was one year. One particular family who fostered me. Actually it was the dad there who helped spark my love of cars. He had this beautiful old D type he’d restored.’ He glanced down at me. ‘You’d have loved it.’ I smiled. He was right. I would have. ‘I was only with them one Christmas but it was amazing. I guess it’s that one I try and remember when I’ve done things at home for George.’
‘There’s only one you remember?’
‘No. There’s only one I want to remember.’
I looked up but he’d turned away, reaching over to the table for the next part of our decorating journey. ‘I assume this fairy light net is to go on this wall?’ He pointed at the one next to the window, which currently just held one large, colourful picture. The lights would just stretch across it without damage and it would finish the breakfast nook perfectly.
‘It is. See? You’re a natural!’
Cal laughed. ‘I’m not so sure about that. It was more a case of elimination. It’s not going to fit anywhere else in here.’
I shrugged. ‘I like my version better.’
He gave a little chuckle and began fixing one corner of the net to the wall, just below the ceiling.
‘So if things were obviously good with that family, how come you only got one Christmas with them?’
Cal moved to the other corner of the net as I spread it out, making sure it was even. ‘You ask a lot of questions, don’t you?’
I sat on the floor and began fixing the bottom corner. ‘I was always taught that asking questions was how you learned.’
He turned and looked down at me sat on the floor. ‘And exactly what is it you’re hoping to learn here, Lexi?’
I shook my head. ‘I don’t know. I’m just interested.’ I scooted on my knees across the floor to the other corner.
‘Why?’
‘Why what?’
‘Why are you interested?’
I fixed the corner, let out a sigh, and stood up. ‘Because it’s in my nature to be. Because I think you’re an interesting person and I like talking to you, and I’m always curious about what makes people who they are. I’m not trying to break into any locked corners of your mind, Cal. I’m just … nosy, I guess.’
The tension that had threatened broke with Cal’s laughter. ‘You’re not nosy. And I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap. I’ve spent too many years keeping myself to myself. I’m realising that’s not exactly how things are done here though.’
I grinned. ‘No. Not exactly. But I am sorry if I’ve asked anything I shou
ldn’t have.’
‘It’s fine. And in answer to your question, unfortunately the family ended up having to stop fostering when one of their elderly parents became ill.’
‘Oh no. I’m sorry. It sounds like you were happy there.’
‘I was. Which hadn’t been the case very much –’ he gave me a look under his lashes ‘– putting it mildly. So it was a bit of a bugger really. But I’ll always be grateful to them for that time.’
‘Are you still in contact with them?’
He shook his head. ‘No.’
‘That a shame. I’m sure they’d love to see you and how well you’re doing, especially if that’s where your first taste of falling in love with cars began.’
Cal ran a hand over his jawline. ‘I’ve never even thought about it.’
‘Will you now?’
He laughed again, shaking his head. ‘Don’t push it.’
I held up my hands, grinning. The seed was planted. Whether it grew now would be up to Cal.
‘So, enough about me. Tell me about your Christmases. I’m imagining they were slightly different to mine.’
They certainly were, and as together we finished the rest of the rooms, I told Cal all about the busy, noisy, laughter-filled Christmas celebrations I looked forward to every year. I’d only ever missed one when Marco had booked a surprise trip to spend the season in Monte Carlo, seeing friends and lunching with his own family. It had been incredibly different from what I’d been used to – it was glamorous, and formal and expensive.
I’d done my best to enjoy myself but I’d never relaxed the entire time. It was perfect for some, but I wasn’t one of them. I needed the chill of the air, the warmth of the laughter, and the utterly relaxed atmosphere of opening presents in your pyjamas, and nobody caring if you never quite got to the point where you got out of them. That was something you definitely couldn’t do in Monte Carlo.
‘No wonder you get excited about it. I wondered when I came into that shop whether you ever got fed up with going into it every day for months, being surrounded by Christmas, but I can see now that you probably don’t.’
‘Not at all. I love the shop at all times of the year, but it really does make the best little Christmas shop.’
‘I’d have to agree.’
I gave him a smile and put the remaining, child-friendly items back into one of the boxes, giving Cal some ideas as to where he could put them up in George’s room tomorrow.
‘I should probably get going. Have you seen my phone?’ Unlike some, I wasn’t surgically attached to my phone and had a habit of leaving it in various places.
‘Hang on, I’ll go and look.’
Whilst Cal set off in search, I balanced against the door, and began to pull one of my boots on. Before I got a chance to even get it on, he was back.
‘Here.’ He handed it over and I gave the screen a quick flick over, just to check I hadn’t missed anything important. There were four missed calls from various members of my family and a text from Dan.
Call when you can.
Chapter Sixteen
‘Lexi. What is it? You’ve gone white.’
I shook my head. ‘I don’t know. Did you get any calls?’ I comforted myself that if it had been anything serious, someone would have rung Cal just to see if I was here. I’d told Mum I was going to work on the car this afternoon at Cal’s workshop, although staying longer had been unplanned. But I know they would have tried if they’d had to.
‘I don’t know. I was stuck to it most of the afternoon so I left it in the office charging. Let me go and get it.’
I nodded briskly, and Cal put an arm around me. ‘I’m sure everything’s fine. Don’t worry, OK? Wait here a minute.’
When he returned, I could see that everything wasn’t fine.
‘What?’
‘I’ve got some missed calls too, and a voicemail from Dan asking me to get you to call him if you were here.’
‘Oh God.’ The words were barely audible and Cal’s arms were back around me. ‘I need to get home.’
‘You’re not driving like this. Let’s get some information first. Give Dan a ring.’
I stared at my phone. I’d been here before. Wanting news but afraid at what it might be. First Dad’s heart scare and then Marco’s accident and now … who?
‘Lexi.’ Cal’s voice was soft.
‘Do you want me to do it?’
‘No. No, I’ll do it. Thank you.’
I pressed onto my favourites and selected Dan’s name. Another press and the dial tone began to ring in my ear.
‘Lex? You all right? We couldn’t get hold of you.’
‘I’m fine. I’m at Cal’s but his phone was charging in another room. What’s wrong?’
‘OK. Good. It’s Joe. He’s had a bit of an accident.’
I felt my legs buckle and then Cal’s arms were strong around me, holding me, supporting. Words wouldn’t form.
‘Are you still there?’
I swallowed hard. ‘How much is a bit?’
‘Don’t go worrying now. He’s all right. Just a bit bumped and bruised. Hit a patch of black ice and came off the road.’ Dan obviously heard the hitch in my breath, and repeated himself. ‘He’s all right, Lexi. OK? They took him to the hospital and he’s been checked out thoroughly and he’s back at home. We just knew you’d want to know and didn’t want you hearing something half baked somewhere.’
‘You sure he’s all right? Can I speak to him?’
‘You’re best off leaving it tonight. They gave him some fairly strong painkillers so I imagine he’s asleep. Both of them are probably. You of all people know how tiring worrying can be. You can pop round in the morning and see them.’
‘OK. But you’re sure he’s OK?’
Dan’s laugh drifted down the line. ‘I’m positive. Now go back to doing whatever it was you were doing.’
‘I was just leaving actually. I’ve been helping George and Cal decorate the house some more.’
‘You’re leaving now?’
‘Mmhmm.’
‘OK. Is Cal there?’
I looked up, meeting Cal’s eyes, his expression serious, his arms looser now, clearly having felt some of the initial tension drain from me.
‘Yes.’
‘Can you put him on?’
‘Yes. Hang on.’
I held the phone up a little. ‘Dan wants to speak to you.’
Cal took the phone, keeping his other arm around me. ‘Hi, mate. Everything all right?’
Dan obviously gave him a quick synopsis of the evening’s events. He listened, brow creased for a few minutes.
‘Yeah, she’s all right.’ Dan said something else but I couldn’t quite hear. My whole body suddenly felt weak and tired and without thinking I rested my head on Cal’s chest. His arm tightened around me. Somewhere in the back of my mind, a warning bell went off but I didn’t care. Right now, it felt like exactly where I should be. ‘No. I thought the same,’ Cal said, agreeing with whatever it was my brother said. ‘Right. Good. Speak to you soon. Night, mate.’
Cal ended the call and replaced his other arm around me, before leaning back, waiting for me to meet his eyes.
‘He’s OK, Lex.’
‘I know. I just … I can’t bear to think of anything …’ And then I burst into tears. Cal held me tighter for a moment and then moved us both, bending and slipping one arm under my legs and lifting me as easily as he had his son earlier in the evening. I was aware that I didn’t do this. I didn’t just blub on people but I couldn’t help it. Joe and I bickered more than the rest but we loved each other just as much and just as hard. I was crying with relief as much as anything, and now I’d started I couldn’t seem to stop.
‘I should get home,’ I managed to get out between hiccups and sobs.
‘Not right now, you don’t,’ Cal replied, his voice gentle as he sat us both down on the squishy eggshell-blue sofa, transferring his arms so that they held me tight against him. I nodded in disagreement
and carried on sobbing. Cal said nothing, just held me and waited.
After a few more minutes, I felt the wracking sobs begin to ease a little and after a few more, I was almost back in control, if now completely exhausted.
‘I’d offer you the guest room but I don’t think you’d take it.’
I moved my head from side to side but didn’t look up. ‘No. But thank you.’
‘You’re welcome.’ He dipped his head down, trying to meet my eyes. ‘Better?’
I was in no doubt about what I must look like right now but I’d sort of got beyond caring.
I nodded against his chest, finally meeting his eyes.
‘I really should go this time.’
‘In a minute. Dan didn’t want you driving straight away and I’d already decided on that the moment you picked up your phone.’
‘I’m OK now though, really,’ I said, trying to convince myself of the words.
‘No. I think you’re better than you were, but I don’t think you’re OK.’
I scooched myself off of his lap, breaking the encirclement of his arms, and sat next to him, cross-legged. ‘I am really.’
He watched me for a moment and then dropped his gaze to his lap. ‘So I assume that means you don’t want to talk about it.’
‘About what?’
‘The fact that all that wasn’t just about Joe.’
I swallowed, wanting to lie and not being able to.
‘It just brought it all back.’
‘I think that’s natural.’
I shuffled position. ‘Anyway, you’re a fine one to talk about wanting to discuss things. You’re not exactly big on sharing much about yourself.’
‘Point taken. But I’m trying to work on that.’
I looked up from where I was fiddling with my jeans hem. ‘Are you?’
‘Yes.’
I thought about it for a moment. ‘I think that’s good.’
The Best Little Christmas Shop Page 19
