by ML BINELLI
"Let's go then. We can stay at Fatima's house which is empty now. Let's go there before she leaves. We will talk to her about our stay.
Juvenal brought to the table a dish of hot chorizo. He looked like he was about to vomit. He put the plate on the table and left quickly.
"Do you want more wine?" said Juvenal from behind the bar.
"A little more, Juvenal. My throat is still dry after everything that happened," said Vidal.
Barbara ate the dish with relish and Vidal watched her. He wondered how she could eat after seeing her father roasted like a pig.
"Barbara, did you have so much hatred for Leonardo to the extent that the smell of his flesh made you hungry?"
She continued chewing and looked right into Vidal's eyes. She swallowed the meat, drank a gulp of wine and said,
"Darling, were you ever forced by your father to do something you did not want to do?"
"Yes, I did, dear," Vidal answered wryly.
"And did this thing involve having sex with you?"
"No! Never! Who do you think my father was?"
"Alright, do not attempt to judge me then. You do not know what I have been through. I don't even know how I endured it without cutting my wrists or jumping into a river. Do you know what it is like to be afraid of going to sleep, knowing you can be violated at any moment? Do you know what it is like to see the sun going down and being terrified of the arrival of the moon? Do you know how long I had to endure this torture? Do you know that nobody in this world helped me? That I had to do it all alone?"
Vidal lowered his head. He could not look at Barbara.
"Forgive me. I know it must have been difficult for you."
"Difficult? You can't imagine the torment. The person who cares for you, who is the source of your admiration, and the one you turn to you when you are in trouble, the only person you truly trust in the world, suddenly begins to abuse you. Let's stop right there Vidal! As for the chorizo that I am eating, I would enjoy it more if it were his flesh that I was tearing apart with my teeth."
"Calm down, Barbara! Juvenal, where's the wine?" He turned his back to Barbara to avoid looking into her eyes because he was disgusted by her meat-filled mouth. The idea of the flesh being Leonardo's filled him with disgust.
"Just one more moment, sir Vidal, I'm opening a new barrel, this one is empty," said Juvenal.
"Look, Vidal, I know that what he suffered was little compared to what he made me suffer and that is why reason I am hungry, I am rejoicing with the death of that scoundrel. I hope I never forget the moment when his soul left his body and descended into the depths of hell, where it will continue to suffer, that wretched man!"
After Juvenal handed them a new jug, they both drank. Barbara to celebrate and Vidal to help him swallow the bile in his throat. They drank in silence. Vidal watched her. She seemed absorbed in thought. He thought she must be going over the scenes she witnessed in Alfama. After their meal, they went to Fatima's house.
Fatima allowed them to stay in the house for a while, along with two servants who were not going to accompany her on the trip back to her family. They then went the ship's captain and informed him of their change of plans. He provided them with a space in the warehouse of the port administration to store most of their trunks during their stay in Lisbon. He also informed them that the next ship to America would sail in twenty days. They would remain in the city for this period of time.
29. Archbishops in heaven?
Two weeks later the news broke that both archbishops were seriously ill, probably from having contracted cholera. The word around town, however, was that they were ill for another reason. The sickness was the result of the curses that Leonardo had cast upon them, certainly with the help of Satan. Even the priests believed this story and in the masses a part of their prayers were dedicated to the well-being of both bishops, so that the words of the devil would be annulled by God.
It was always Vidal who went out into the street to get news. Barbara avoided going outside and spent her days reading. Vidal came back from his daily round and updated Barbara on the gossip he had heard.
"They say the archbishop of Lisbon is at death's door, having convulsions, and nothing he says makes any sense. As for the other one, he is bedridden. He can't keep anything down, it all comes right out through his mouth or his backside."
"Well, Vidal, if Torres is really in that bad of a shape, it is time to pay him a visit. I would like to say goodbye to him."
Vidal didn’t understand what Barbara was getting at. Could it be that she was so attached to the bishop, the way Alicio and he believed she was? Could they have been lovers? She denied it, but women always denied their sins. Anyway, if he asked, he wouldn't get a straight answer. The only one who could tell him the truth about this would be Torres and he was out of reach. If it was the case though, she would be sad and not happy.
When they arrived at the bishops’ quarters in Lisbon, they introduced themselves as Lord and Lady Milheiro. They claimed to be friends of archbishop Torres and were in the city passing through. They had heard he was here and decided to pay him a visit. They were informed of his state of health but they insisted on seeing him. While walking to Torres' room, a priest rushed by them on the stairs shouting that archbishop Arlindo had stopped breathing during one of his convulsions and a physician was needed. Confusion ensued. Both were left alone in front of Torres' room. They knocked on the door and a physician opened it.
"What do you want here? The archbishop is very ill!"
"Sir, I believe they are looking for you. It seems that the other archbishop is dying,” informed Vidal.
"Oh dear, I was just with him. Excuse me." He ran off in the direction of the other sick room.
"Vidal, leave me alone with the archbishop. Watch the door and do not let anyone in."
"I'll try Barbara but hurry!"
Barbara went in. The archbishop was lying down, moaning with his eyes closed. She picked up a chair and placed it at the head of the bed.
"Hello, my beloved. How are you?"
Torres couldn't believe he was hearing her voice. He opened his eyes slowly, he was very weak. He saw her image gradually taking shape at his right side.
"Barbara! Are you here? How? Are you a hallucination?" He tried to sit up, but he did not have the strength and he fell back on the bed.
"Yes, it is me, beloved," she said, mocking him.
"But, where were you? You told me in the letter that you had been forced to leave Portugal!"
"Yes, I left and returned just in time to see the result of my work. You did well and avenged our "love" effectively."
"Why are you talking like this? Will you stay here with me while I recover?"
"No, all I want you to know is that everything in that letter was untrue!"
Torres could not believe what he was hearing. He also couldn’t understand the look of disdain on her face.
"What do you mean "untrue," Barbara? I hunted down Leonardo because of what was written in that letter! Why did you lie? Was nothing true? Did he not abuse you?"
"Yes, he did, but not in that way. You also abused me, didn't you? I tolerated your excesses so you'd get rid of him for me but you were too much of a coward, isn't that right? I wrote the letter in the hope that it would make you lose your mind and it worked perfectly. You got rid of the bastard for me! But you are just like him and I dare say that you will also suffer to atone for your sins."
"Barbara, don't blame me. I could not save you from that monster. But I love you above all else!"
He tried to reach out to hold her hand but had no strength and gave up.
"Yes, you love me so much that although you knew what was happening, you did nothing. If you were a real man, as I thought you were, you would have killed him. That's what I wanted. That's what I expected from you. But you are weak. Maybe the skirts you wear have stolen your manhood, I don't know anymore."
Hate was all Torres could see in Barbara's eyes.
Vi
dal, on the other side of the door, heard footsteps approaching. He opened the door and warned Barbara. Torres looked up and saw him. Vidal lowered his eyes and closed the door.
"Who is this boy, Barbara? Did you come here with someone?"
"He is my husband, archbishop. Because of you I had to get married and had to lie with him!"
"Is it the scoundrel your father set you up with? The one who took my place at your side. What shall we do?"
"What shall we do? I just came to say goodbye to you. Him and I are going to Brazil," lied Barbara. "I came here just to tell you that I am married and I will honor my husband above all else."
"What do you mean? What about the love you had for me? Has it ended so suddenly? What are you saying? I don't understand..."
"What I'm saying is that I never loved you, I just used you to get rid of my father. But you didn't even do that. Useless, that’s what you are. I just wanted you to know that nothing you heard was real. I would never attach myself to an old pervert like you! I wanted to let you know how your breath disgusts me, your hands are like claws and your body is destroyed by a life of sin. Go to hell, damn you! That's all I wanted to tell you to your face!" She screamed showering Torres' face with spit.
The archbishop was filled with rage and shouted "Guards, priests, help me! Your archbishop is being murdered! Help!"
Vidal heard the shouts of the archbishop but was not sure if he should enter the room or not. The sound of footsteps increased, changed direction and were heading their way. He opened the door and warned Barbara again.
"Make him shut up, somebody's coming!"
Barbara wasn't thinking, she acted on impulse. She quickly stood up, pulled the pillow from under Torres' head and placed it on his face.
"Shut up you son of a whore. Go meet my father in hell, for that is where child abusers go. Die you perfumed monster!"
The scene that was unfolding before Vidal looked like something from his worst nightmares. Barbara pressing the pillow on Torres's face as he struggled feebly.
"Barbara, stop! What are you doing?"
She turned to him without taking her hands off the pillow.
"Close the door, damn it! He is calling for help. If they catch us here, they'll kill us!"
Vidal didn't know what to do. He was deciding whether to stop her or to leave the room when the archbishop's legs stopped moving. His arms fell alongside his body. It was too late.
Vidal lowered his eyes and closed the door. Sweat ran down his forehead. He could not believe what he had just witnessed, and his thoughts were muddled by flashes of the terrible images he had witnessed, mixed with the sounds that seemed to reach his ears, phrases uttered by Barbara and the archbishop. A few moments later two guards approached him. He felt like running away, leaving Barbara to her own devices. The sweat now covered the palms of his hands and his body shook with fear. His dry throat seemed to be filled with sand. His heart beat like a drum.
"We heard the archbishop's voice. What is going on? Get out of my way!"
"I think you're mistaken, gentlemen, he's talking to my wife right now." Vidal stood in front of both men to prevent them from entering. If they had seen what he saw, his life and Barbara's would be worthless.
The guards finally pushed him away and entered the room, with Vidal following close behind them. They took two steps and stopped in their tracks. Vidal could not see why so he squeezed by them. Barbara was kneeling beside the archbishop's body, holding his hand with her face resting on the back of it, weeping. She had had enough time to close his eyes and push the pillow back in place. She had also adjusted his blanket. He looked like a saint.
"What happened?" One of the guards asked. "We heard yells!"
"He passed away while we talked, he is now rising to the heavens, poor soul!" she said in a voice filled with emotion. "Poor man, a saint is coming, Lord, he deserves a warm welcome!" She said, staring at the ceiling as if talking to heaven. Vidal was paralyzed with fear. Whatever happened now would define what would become of his life. He moved his eyes away, looking for a weapon, something that he could strike the guards with if they attacked him. They rushed by him and went to the bed. Barbara dropped the archbishop's hand and backed away, allowing the guards to approach the body. She ran to Vidal and embraced him.
"Come on Vidal, come on, we need to get out of here," she whispered to him.
He was numb. He didn't know what to do. He grabbed her hand and pulled her toward the door.
They walked down the corridor, Vidal stumbling like a drunk while she guided him forward. They went down the stairs and left unnoticed by anybody because of the confusion caused by the death of archbishop Arlindo.
"Imagine what will happen when they find out that Torres is already on his way to hell," she told Vidal.
They boarded the carriage that was waiting and asked the driver to leave quickly. Vidal was in shock trying to understand what had happened, Barbara was smiling. Again.
When they arrived, Barbara asked Vidal to pay the boy. They entered the house. She went to the kitchen and came back with a jug of wine.
"Let's toast Vidal! Another rat has died in its own rat trap!"
"Barbara, what have you done? Why? How could you?" Vidal's voice was shaky and high-pitched. He seemed to have lost control of her.
"Sit down, Vidal, sit down. Here, drink a little! Looks like you need it!"
She grabbed a mug. His hands were trembling, but hers were steady. It didn't look like she had just committed a murder a few minutes ago.
"Vidal, I lied. When you asked me if I had anything to do with Torres after you and Alicio heard a story about Fatima, I denied it, remember?"
"Yes, you denied it. So did you have an affair with him?"
Barbara took a deep breath, took a gulp of wine, and turned to him.
"Yes, I did. At school. He fell in love with me and I thought I could use him to get me out of the house somehow. I expected him to accuse my father of the crimes he committed or to get rid of him in some way. Despite his oaths of love, he didn't seem to care that the "love of his life" was being raped on a daily basis by another man, as long as he received his fair share."
"Did you give yourself to him?"
"No, never! I never allowed it to get to that point. Even though I was a child, I was no idiot. I manipulated him, hoping to find a way to free myself. I was wrong, he was weak and cowardly."
"But why kill him, Barbara? What evil did he do to you besides loving you?"
"He wanted to take advantage of me, to turn me into his concubine, you see! I lost precious time seducing this bastard and what for? Nothing. As for killing him, that was an accident. If he had kept quiet, we would have left. I just wanted to say what was stuck in my throat. Make him feel what it is like to be manipulated. It was better that way, he would pursue me to the end of the world if I had not. I would feel caged, looking behind my back all the time waiting for him to find me."
Vidal rubbed his hands over his face. How can that be? She killed the archbishop! Suddenly he began to see a pattern, a plan behind it all.
"Tell me now, did you plan this death?" Vidal's question came out in the same way that his reasoning was forming.
Barbara thought for a moment and answered Vidal.
"No, I was not planning to kill him. But the sight of him in that bed, enraged me. I seized the moment, acted on impulse, I did it because I had the opportunity to do it, nothing was planned," she explained.
"But what did you intend to achieve by going there?"
"I wanted to tell him it was all a lie. Tell him only the truth, that I did not love him and that I manipulated him into killing Leonardo. That's all I wanted and I have already told you that! Stop whining for a bastard who is not worth his own excrement. In the state he was in, he wouldn't have lasted long anyways. I did him a favor, I concentrated all his suffering into just one moment. He would have thanked me!"
"He came here because of you! He did what he did because of the ideas that you planted
in his mind!"
"Yes, that's right. All he did after he arrived here was follow the trail of breadcrumbs I laid out for him.”
"So the brotherhood of the lodge, Alicio and the exile of his mother and sisters has all been caused by you!"
Barbara sighed again.
"It was, Vidal, it was. It was not my intention for other people to pay for my father's punishment, but it got out of control. I did not think the archbishop would arrest them all. But he did what he did, killed and condemned innocent people, who in his eyes were criminals also. It was the same on Madeira Island. He broke up many families, pursuing them and lighting many fires. He will now burn in hell because of it!"
"And you, Barbara? Aren't you afraid of hell? You killed today! How could you?"
"Vidal, for what I suffered, I think I have enough credit to enter heaven when my time comes. And besides, two demons no longer walk on this earth thanks to me."
"But what about Alicio? And his father who died? Do you have no remorse?"
"Remorse, no. What I did had to be done. I'm sorry that others had to suffer for what happened, I told you, but it was an unintended side effect. Vidal, we are repeating ourselves. I have no other explanation to give you. You already know everything and know why I did what I did. Let's forget about this!"
Vidal was lost in thought. Who was he siding with? The best would be to get away from this woman as soon as possible.
"Barbara, I'm going to walk a little, I need to think. I'm going to the tavern. I'll see you later."
"Vidal, don't tell anyone about this. Anyway, you're an accomplice, in at least this death, don’t forget it!
Accomplice!" Vidal shivered. True, he had not thought of that. He helped her kill the archbishop, not with his hands, but with his actions. Some of the blame was his also.
"Barbara, we need to get out of here as soon as possible. I'll go first to the port to confirm when the damn ship arrives. Calm down, my lips are sealed."
She turned and walked out humming. She stopped, turned around, walked over to him, stood on tiptoe and kissed his lips.
