by Cydney Rax
Scottie searches LaNecia’s deeply troubled eyes. “This night is unreal. I know things must be hard on you. Ka deserted you, huh?”
“Well, at the last minute she decided to leave and drive to College Station. Her older sister is a graduate student at Texas A&M and made her go up there. I didn’t know it would be so bad with her gone, but all I did was think about how alone I felt being in our apartment by myself. What if something happened? Nobody who loved me would even realize I was by myself.” She gasps, places her hands on her face, and starts weeping. “I hate being alone.”
Scottie instantly pulls LaNecia into his arms. He never liked to hear his cousin cry. Even when they were messing around, long before she got pregnant, she’d have these crying spells. She’d worry about lack of money, or she’d worry that her life wasn’t going anywhere. Tonight Scottie feels like he’s involuntarily carried back to their past: a place he wants to forget these days.
“I–I can’t help it, Scottie,” she sniffs. “I want someone around who I can depend on when I need help. It hurts to think that I don’t have a single guy friend I can call who I know would be there for me through thick and thin. It seems like guys leave when a woman gets in trouble.” She raises her head and pours out her heart. “I had hoped you’d be different Scottie. You told me you loved me all last year. Remember that?”
Flustered, Scottie nods but can’t maintain solid eye contact. He just squeezes her tighter, inhaling the scent of her flowery perfume, clumsily kissing her on the top of her hair like she’s a forlorn little girl.
“You hear me? All I want is love. Why can’t you love me? Love is a good thing….”
“Shhh….”
“No, I have a right to say how I feel. My emotions have been all bottled up inside of me for so long, Scottie. If I don’t let them out, I know I’m going to die. I just know it.” She releases a loud sob and bends over, clutching her stomach in her hands.
Now Scottie feels uncomfortable and guilty. It feels awkward to try and hug LaNecia with her head smashed against his belly. Her wet hair makes tiny water marks on his shirt. He picks her up and gently sets her on top of his bed. She turns on her side facing away from Scottie. Her shoulders jerk as she sobs hysterically. Her sobs wrack her entire body. Scottie debates if he should leave her alone and let her have some space. But he eases down on the bed next to LaNecia and tenderly pats her back.
“Don’t cry, LaNecia. I–I’m sorry for hurting you. I do love you….”
“No, you don’t,” she wails, shaking her head on the pillow and staining it with her tears and streaked eyeliner.
“Baby girl, it’s a different kind of love.”
“No, it’s a nothing love. A fake love. A love that hurts me. True love d–doesn’t hurt, Scottie. You make these promises and keep breaking them.”
“I know. It’s wrong.” Surprisingly, Scottie feels his throat swell up with soreness as if he’s contracted the flu. But he knows he’s not sick with a bad cold.
I’m sorry we’ve come to this. If I would have known how my actions would have hurt her, I never would’ve gotten involved. She’s a cool kid. I love her in a special family-like way. But the love she has for me breaks my heart. And I don’t know how to deal with the pain.
LaNecia continues sobbing with her face buried against the pillow. When Scottie touches her shoulder and tries to turn her over, LaNecia’s body stiffens. She scoots over until she’s lying in the middle of the bed. Defeated, Scottie sits like a statue; he stares into space and listens to her speak unintelligibly until she falls asleep.
Dammit, this is too much. I can’t take this. I wish she’d get a grip. I wish she didn’t love me so much.
— 7 —
ANYA
Take the Good with the Bad
The weekend that the storm hit affected more than just the city of Houston. Sure, when we woke up and went outside that morning, we were shocked yet relieved that we only lost two oak trees that toppled over the garage and damaged the roof. Okay, no biggie. That’s fixable. But the mess going on inside our home? Now that’s questionable.
I get up around eight in the morning. My back feels stiff like I need my bones popped or else I won’t be right for the rest of the day. But when I turn over in bed to ask my partner if he will do the honors and lift my feet up off the ground like we normally do, Mr. Meadows isn’t lying next to his wife.
Shoot. I sit up so abruptly my back hurts even more. And on top of that, I am worried because I have a doctor’s appointment today. Of all days. Ike or no Ike, it’s time for me to find out what the hell is going on in my body. I’m still getting these two-week-long bloody menstrual cycles, and enough is enough.
I grab my cell phone, which is in bed.
I punch in some digits.
“Hello?” Neil’s voice sounds thick with sleepiness.
“Where are you, Neil? And I know you fell asleep next to me last night. When’d you leave? Where’d you sleep last night?”
“Anya, don’t start.”
“I won’t if you won’t.”
“Anya, I’m not thinking about that woman.”
He knows I can get paranoid with Dani in the house even though Scottie seems to adore her.
“Could’ve fooled me. You were staring at her so much last night I don’t think you remembered I existed. I’m not about to go through that mess we went through….”
“Baby, c’mon. You’re the woman I picked. You got my ring, my last name….”
“All that may be true, but you still let her get to you. I think you should leave Scottie and Dani alone. This is his time to do something good with his life.”
“And why should Dani be part of that? She shouldn’t be dating my baby brother.”
“Aha! So you finally admit the truth. Now we’re getting somewhere.” All a woman wants is a man who has the guts enough to admit the truth.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about, Anya.”
“I know you’re obsessed with what she’s doing with your brother. Let it go, Neil.”
Hearing him sigh heavily makes me want to scream. It’s hard enough trying to keep this man’s attention. I don’t want his attention to be split between my needs and Scottie’s doings. But as long as Scottie is doing Dani, Neil’s gonna be tripping.
“I’m just saying, you got other things to think about. Like me, for instance. Don’t you know I’m scared to death to go to the doctor today?”
“How you gonna get around all the debris that’s lying on every major street, every single neighborhood. Call the office because it might be closed.”
“I hope not.”
“Anya, you’ll be okay.”
“Listen to how unconcerned you sound. You’re way more into how Dani looks at Scottie than the fact I’m bleeding like a freaking stinking pig.”
Neil starts laughing. That’s good, but it still makes me mad. Even though we’ve been married a decade, it amazes me how my husband can get me so upset that I’ve contemplated skipping out on the relationship. Oh, I’ve entertained that divorce thing many times. But you learn to take the bad with the good. I guess Dani’s being in our house because of Scottie’s being sweet on her is “the bad.”
“Anya, calm down. You’re a strong woman. You’ll get through this.”
“But will you get through your dilemma? That’s all I’m asking.”
I still don’t know where Neil is. Obviously, he’s somewhere in the house. But where is Dani? It still feels weird to have her sleeping in my house, knowing that years ago she used to sleep with my husband. It makes me sick to my stomach. But still, Dani is the better woman for Scottie to be with. Gotta be much better than him being with LaNecia.
“Do you know where LaNecia is?” I ask.
“Last time I checked, she was headed upstairs behind Scottie.”
“That’s a shame,” I mumble. “I hope they didn’t screw each other. Not in my house. No-the-hell-way.”
“Hmm, I guess I’ll go check out
things down here.”
Neil hangs up without saying ’bye to me. I throw my cell phone on the floor. I sit up in bed and stretch my arms. It’s time to see what’s going on in my house.
Taking a deep breath, I find myself outside Scottie’s bedroom. I knock once and turn the knob. I see LaNecia spread out on her back. Her face looks peaceful and I’m happy that she had somewhere to go, that she is safe. I check Vette’s room and spot Dani lying in bed next to her. I run downstairs and bump into Neil, who is entering the kitchen from the back door.
“A few trees went down. Gotta make some phone calls.” He rushes past me toward the library.
“You looking for insurance papers? You should’ve thought about that before stuffing the room with all that junk. I’ll be surprised if you can reach the file cabinet.”
I check the den. Scottie’s big form takes up the entire love seat. He’s in the middle of a loud snoring fest, but I don’t care.
“Hey, hey, hey, get up.”
He groans and opens his eyes. “Anya, what’s up? Is there a problem?” He sighs. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to talk to you like that. Are you okay? The kids okay?”
“Yeah, they’re fast asleep upstairs, thank God. But I was surprised to see LaNecia in your bed. I thought Dani would be in there with you. What’s up with that?”
I motion at Scottie to move his legs so I can sit down. “You’re young. Still got a long way to go. Maybe you can learn something….”
“Look, not trying to be rude, but I hate when …”
“Ouch, I hope you’re not about to call me old.”
“Anya, you look pretty damned good for your age.”
“My age? I don’t want to hear that. Statements like that make a woman feel old. I hate to see what happens when I turn forty.”
“You’ll be fine.”
“That’s easy for you to say, Scottie. You’re barely in your twenties.”
“But I’ve been through a lot when I was younger, long before you met Neil. I’m sure Neil has told you.”
“Not really. He doesn’t talk a whole lot about what went on when you guys were growing up.”
“I’m not surprised. I think he blames me for some of his shit.”
“Really,” I say and lean closer. “What happened? Be specific.”
“Moms told me that Neil came out of her womb with a serious look on his face.”
I laugh. “Go on.”
“She told me she named him Neil because she liked the meaning, which is ‘passionate’ or ‘warrior.’ She hoped naming him that would make him a strong man, like a fighter.”
“In a sense I guess it worked. I mean, he works hard, and I’m glad he finished his education, and he’s been hanging in there at the Texas Medical Center for years. He’s an excellent provider. We’ve never had our electricity cut off….”
“Except for this morning.”
“Funny, Scottie. That was Ike’s doing, not Neil’s. He’s a proud man, and he makes sure we have everything we need. I couldn’t ask for a better husband.”
“Then what happened with …”
I squirm in my seat. “I don’t want to get into all that.”
“But you asked me open questions, so why can’t I ask you?”
“You know, to be so young, you sure have a stubborn, cocky side.”
“I’m sure I get that from ole Everett George Foster, my daddy. Moms gave me her last name, though. I kind of think of myself as both, a Meadows and a Foster. Anyway, my pops was a good-looking whippersnapper kind of guy when they first met, so she says. But, of course, I had my moments with Daddy, too. I remember he was wild. He sold drugs. He got into trouble. But he’d fight for my moms, and I think that’s what she loved about him. He was protective. I get that from Daddy.”
“I’m so glad you got to know him before he died.”
“Yeah, it’s a trip that neither Neil nor I have a living father. I really need my daddy, too. Especially now, with so much going on in my life.” He quietly studies me before continuing. “That’s why I’m, like, crazy happy that you’ve taken me in, Anya, for real. My uncle James has been there. And you have, too.”
“Oh, it’s nothing. I’m just doing the right thing. I don’t want you to get discouraged with life. I’ve lived long enough to know that things can turn out okay when we make good decisions. Not that I’m that old.”
Scottie winks. “I’m telling you, if you weren’t married to my brother, I’m sure you’d be pulling men left and right. Especially the young bucks.”
“You think so?”
“I know so. Younger men are attracted to older women.”
“Is that why you’re into Dani?”
“Hey, I’m just trying to get to know her. No harm in doing that, is there?”
“LaNecia’s not having it.”
“Yeah, I’m aware of how she feels.”
“Are you?”
“She’s told me a million times.”
“Have you listened a million times? Or only one time? Or zero?”
“I’m trying to live my life…. Sometimes LaNecia makes it hard to do that. She needs something else to occupy her time.”
“Like a good-looking man, huh?”
“Well …”
“You don’t have to admit it to me, but from what I’ve observed, you Meadows boys are drawn to the forbidden.”
“Why you say that?”
“Neil liked Dani. You like Dani. You like LaNecia.”
“Now, wait a minute,” he protests, sitting up. “All this stuff may be temporary. You don’t have to build a fucking case against me. And I am not Neil. We don’t even have the same father.”
“But you have the same blood, similar tendencies.”
“Look, I don’t mean any disrespect, Anya, but my brother and I are different.”
“How, Scottie? You’re raising your voice, which doesn’t totally bother me, but you get upset when things don’t go your way. Neil’s just like that. It’s not unusual for siblings to share certain characteristics.”
“But we don’t.”
“You’ve shared the same woman; at least in my mind you have.”
Scottie flashes me an angry look. I stand up and gape back at him. It’s not hard to see why Dani would be attracted to Scottie. Parts of Neil live in him. I doubt she’s ever gotten over my husband. Sure, she’s put some space between herself and Neil the past couple of years. But when a woman has loved a man, even the slightest thing draws her back to him. Maybe her slightest thing is Scottie.
“Anya, I don’t know what you’re trying to say. But for right now, I want to be free to explore what can happen with me and Dani. I haven’t totally figured out how to make it work. She’s becoming more open with me, but there are some parts of her I need to work on.”
“You have your work cut out with this one. I am trying to wrap my head around the fact that she slept under my roof last night, right down the hall from my husband, and not too far from a girl you used to sleep with. All that sounds too close for comfort.”
“Um, maybe she’s marking her territory. How’s that sound?”
“As far as I’m concerned, her so-called territory shouldn’t be inside my territory.” I chuckle at the craziness of it all.
“Anyway, I gotta get dressed. I guess I’ll be a nice host and throw together some breakfast for everyone. Then I must remember to call my doctor’s office and pray they’re open today. Believe it or not, there are other things going on besides Scottie and all his women.”
I whip up a couple of dozen pancakes and fried bacon. It doesn’t take long for the smell of pig to cause Brax to make his way to the kitchen.
“Good morning, little baby,” I tell him. He looks so cute in his pajamas with the feet attached.
“I’m not a baby!”
“How old are you, then?”
“Tree.” He holds up three fingers, so one out of two isn’t bad.
“It’s three,” I say aloud while I flip over a pancake.
>
“The-ree.”
“Go get your mommy. No, tell Reese to go get her, okay, Brax?”
He races from the room, and I shake my head and snicker.
Dani prances into the kitchen a few minutes later rubbing a body towel through her hair.
“You looking for me?”
“Not really. Your son is hungry.”
“What else is new? I’ll prepare his plate and take it upstairs.”
“Oh yeah,” I say. “What’s happening upstairs?”
“Well, if you must know, Scottie and I were in the middle of a conversation. Plus he was watching cartoons.”
“Ha.” I laugh. “That’s what happens when you choose to go younger.”
“What did you say?” Dani looks perplexed, and she comes and stands next to me. I’m still in front of the stove pouring pancake mix on the griddle.
“Does everything I say to you warrant some type of argument, Dani?”
“I’m not arguing. Just trying to make sure I heard you right.” She picks up a slice of bacon, bites off a piece and starts chewing. “You know what? You’re right. I’m trying to learn from my elders….”
“What?”
“Oops, sorry. I’m trying to learn from you, Anya Meadows, and know that I can just calmly talk about things. There’s no need for me to fight anyone. Even you.”
“And not LaNecia? Hmm, you’ve been downstairs a full five minutes. Aren’t you concerned about what’s going on upstairs?”
“Well, last I know Scottie made her get out of bed and go take a bath. And unless Scottie decided to join her, I’m not too worried about it.”
“You oughta be. Remember you used to scheme and stuff with um, men. You’d think that a woman like you would be scared that she’s getting paid back.”
“That’s a laugh, Anya. Because if it weren’t for you …” Dani gives me a sly look and walks away. I feel like picking up the griddle and throwing it at her. She hasn’t forgotten that Neil hooking up with her was my idea. Ughh. That makes me so mad. All I wanted to do was save my marriage. But things got more messed up than I ever imagined. Do I have to be reminded of what I did?
