by Angel Payne
Lani’s gaze shined at sun-bright power once more. “I couldn’t agree more.” Her smile, though tinged by sadness at the edges, was no less dazzling. “Which is why I don’t want to talk.”
He fell into silence along with Kellan. Damn. This was an unexpected impasse. As his buddy jammed hands into his pockets and shuffled in confusion, Tait let his stare fall on Lani. He really studied her now. Tension still gripped her stance, but that celestial calm continued to rule her gaze. In short, she revealed nothing.
“Shit,” he finally muttered. “Lima-Lima-Mike-Foxtrot.”
“Copy you loud and clear, brother.”
“Huh?” Lani queried.
“Lost like mother fuckers,” Tait explained. When she returned a puzzled grimace, he charged, “Why don’t you want to talk? Girls always want to talk.”
Her whole face darkened. “You don’t always get to peer under the dome, okay?”
He hated admitting it, but she was right. She wasn’t his submissive. She wasn’t even his girl. From now on, it was probably best that she wasn’t even his friend. She was his stunning mission asset, and nothing more.
“Fair enough.” He took a measured step back. He wondered why her face fell like he’d shot one of her horses at the same time, but maintained his new position. That plan didn’t earn a thumbs-up from the woman, either. Her eyes squeezed as if she were about to open the waterworks again. Kellan stepped over and grabbed her shoulders again, shooting him a what-the-hell-happened glare, and Tait spread his arms in a wide shrug. This was the most bizarre “morning after” he’d ever experienced.
The next second, it twisted even weirder.
With a tight cry, Lani shoved away from Kellan, too. In an instant, Tait realized why his buddy had just been glowering at him. Seeing her upset in the arms of another guy, even his best friend who’d done nothing, made his very marrow scream with the need to yank her away and hold her.
“Starshine? You sure you don’t want to—”
“I don’t need a talk.” As she cut him off, she also spun back toward the house. “I need a drive,” she called from the living room. “We all do.”
Kellan didn’t look back to Tait until she’d crossed the living room and disappeared toward the bedroom. His friend blinked a bunch of times, as if trying to reconcile his perception with reality, before muttering, “I guess we’re going for a drive.”
Tait rocked back on his heels. A black laugh tempted his lips, “Appears so.”
Kell paced to the edge of the lanai, turned and came back. “You think Leo will be all right if she totes our asses to the opposite side of the island?”
He nodded. “Ike adores that kid like the son he never had, so I can text him to be diligent. Besides, Gunter doesn’t know we’re digging in his secret underwear drawer…yet.”
“Good point.”
Tait glanced down at his feet. “Think we should put on shoes?”
“Hmm. Probably.”
“Do you have any idea where we’re going?”
As he issued the question, Lani walked back through the living room, pink robe replaced by a dress apparently borrowed from the same closet. From the photos in the house, Tait knew Franz had a couple of biological sisters. Thank fuck they were similar in size and coloring to Lani. The dress was stunning on her. It was pink, too, but in a darker shade, pulling out the gorgeous glow in her cheeks and the color in her lips. Her hair hung free now, brushed to a sheen so smooth it reminded him of black latex.
Fuck. Yeah.
Pink was nice but black latex? The best invention since shoelaces. And Christ, would that woman’s curves look amazing in a corset formed of the stuff, cinching and exposing her in all the right places…
Shelve it, Bommer. High up and far, far away.
“Uhhhh…what’d you say?” Kellan finally blurted.
He swallowed before answering. “Just—errr—asked if you knew where we’re going.”
Kellan chuffed. “Does it matter?”
“Very good point.”
* * * * *
He was damn glad they’d decided to put on shoes. That didn’t stop him from feeling five kinds of underdressed and unsanitary from the second they’d exited the car at their final destination. As they walked down a pretty stone pathway shrouded by thick tropical trees, he still kept jabbing both hands through his hair, hoping the thick strands would, for once, behave.
Kellan walked up and punched him in the shoulder. “You want to relax, Benson groupie wannabe?”
“Huh? What the hell?”
“You’re coming off like a pretentious ass from a hair product commercial. Worse, you’re missing all this beauty. Look at this place! It’s like the freaking Jungle Book.” The guy scooted in close enough to murmur, “You know, this’d be an awesome spot for a nudist colony.”
He seized the chance to land a counterpunch into Kell’s arm. “It’s a church, you bozo. Show some respect.”
“Right. Because look where all your forced time in Sunday School got you.”
“At least I’m not a heathen, walking around here with nudity on my mind.”
“Why is it even called that? Sunday School needs a new name. Maybe even a new image.”
“Are you really skipping down that yellow brick road?”
Lani slipped between them from behind, looping her arms beneath both their elbows. “You’re both right—and wrong.” Though she pulled them along, her pace was slower, reverent. Her voice matched. “Though the Saiva Siddhanta church is located here, the complex is about much more than that. It’s a spiritual sanctuary for over twenty swamis, yogis, and sadhakas from all over the world, furthering the Hindu principles of humanity’s unity and divinity through harmony, generosity, and love. It’s also a center of learning for pilgrims from all over the world. Besides all that, it’s amazing.”
With every word she spoke, Tait felt a smile growing, and his stress liquefying. He watched the same effect taking hold of Kellan. At face value, the syntax of Lani’s words were normally hippie-talk hooey he blew off faster than incense ash, but the peace on her face, joined with the music of her voice, worked a strange magic on him. As he lifted his head and peered around, the feeling grew. The place really was amazing. Though there wasn’t a square foot of this island that wasn’t breathtaking, the sanctuary grounds were like Kauaˋi in ultra-high-def, with towering banyans, eucalyptus, and palms overlooking bushes that were covered in lush vines that sprang from carpets of ferns. The air was better than any florist shop on the planet, a bouquet of plumeria, hibiscus, sandalwood, lilies, and even a little cinnamon and curry. As they climbed a gentle slope, he glimpsed a sparkling river that was fed by postcard-perfect waterfalls.
Kellan tugged at Lani. Though he kept his voice down, as well, there was no missing the tease to it. “So how am I right and wrong?”
Her smile quirked with her unique style of mischief. “Let’s just say you’re not the first one in this party to think about ‘doing the naked’ in this neighborhood.” As Kell smirked and preened, she hurriedly added, “Which means that unlike Tait, we both need more Sunday School.”
“Pffft.”
“Do me a favor and elbow him,” Tait quipped. After Lani obliged by giving Kell a good-natured nudge, she added a smile that rivalled even the scenery for radiance. Tait couldn’t take his eyes off her. She’d always been double-take beautiful, but something about this place and this mountain added layers to the pull she had on him. In every part of his mind…and body.
Hell. The natural-and-naked fantasy party had a brand-new member.
He needed to steer the topic elsewhere. Now. Thankfully, the feat wouldn’t be difficult. Clearly, Lani loved this place. He’d simply enroll her as their tour guide. Maybe that would haul his mind from the scene that unfurled in his head, of stretching her out on one of the grassy riverbanks, stripping her nude and worshipping her as a newly-inducted goddess of this place…
Tait Gabriel Bommer, you’re in church! Straighten up and pay attention, or there
will be no cookies at hospitality for you.
Wonderful. Like his senses needed any more havoc today.
“Okay, mom,” he murmured, holding onto the sweetness of the memory for a tiny moment longer. If he closed his eyes and concentrated hard enough, he could almost smell the Juicy Fruit gum she always kept in her purse…and her floral shampoo…and the cracked leather of her Bible…
“Okay who?”
Lani’s soft inquisition made him cough hard, before shoving Melody McKay-Bommer to the back of his soul again. “Nobody.” He locked down his smile. “Nothing important.”
“You sure?” Her gaze flicked over his face. A breeze sifted through the trees, blowing her hair at him. It smelled like flowers…
This whole place smells like flowers, you dumb shit.
“Yeah, I’m sure.” Since her hand was still curled under his elbow, he pressed his opposite hand atop it while continuing to walk toward what appeared to be the temple itself, a modest stone building with a pedestal in front that supported a large, carved black bull. “Tell me about all this,” he appealed.
Kellan looked on, also interested. On his friend’s face, Tait recognized the visual form of everything he felt: wonderment, gratitude, peace. And as sunlight broke through the trees, comprehension pierced his senses. Being here with the two of them, even after what they’d shared last night, didn’t seem weird or wrong. It was a perfect completion to the magic they’d created. Did Lani know that when she insisted on driving across the island to get here? He received a big chunk of that answer in the meaningful glance she lifted before fulfilling his request.
“The tourist guide answer for that is that the church and monastery have been here since the mid nineteen-seventies, and things have grown from there. People make pilgrimages from all over the world to come and experience this. I’m sure you can simply feel the reasons why. There’s a special energy here. I wish I could explain it better than that.”
She shook her head as if rebuking herself for telling a silly joke, but Kellan leaned over, securing her other hand beneath his. “Don’t know if I could’ve said it any better, sweetheart.”
Tait gazed up at a crew of colorful birds in one of the trees, babbling happily to each other as they constructed a nest. “There are probably a lot of great memories for you here, too. Did you come a lot with your parents and Leo?”
Her eyebrows bunched again, as if that perplexed her. “The first time I came here was a little over six months ago.”
Tait almost stopped in the middle of the path. Her confession swiped a strange scythe of awareness through his gut. He forced his voice to stay on an even keel while replying slowly, “Six months ago?”
“Yeah.” Lani’s voice still resonated with bewilderment. “It’s kind of weird, I guess. Mom and Dad raised Leo and I with a deep grasp of our spirituality and how our energy contributed to the universe as a whole, just like the Hindu concept of karma. And the Polynesian gods are similar to the Hindu ones, with multiple deities that support one main creator through their unique powers and virtues. But we were always so busy keeping the ranch going, especially during the busy seasons for the B and B, that setting aside the time to come here just never happened.”
He almost swallowed back his next question but holding it in was a worse option. He simply had to tell himself that the answer would lead nowhere, which made him grateful for the stone bench they arrived at, atop of a scenic hill beneath a sprawling kapok tree.
He sat, planting both elbows to his knees and sucking down air with long, steady care. “So what changed your mind six months ago?”
Kellan sat down next to him. Lani chose to stand. That was so okay with him. As if put in place by a photographer wanting a shot of an exquisite island beauty, she stood in a shaft of sunlight that haloed her hair and bathed her features in deep gold. “I’m not sure,” she admitted. “I hadn’t planned on it but I was in Lihue, wrestling again with the business permits office about reopening the main house as a B and B. As you can guess, it didn’t go well. I remember walking out of the office in a puddle of self-pity. But it was a few weeks before Christmas, and the rest of the world was prancing in tidings of comfort and joy.” She folded her arms and poked a toe at the ground. “I tried opting for some retail therapy, but when I actually snarled at a boy scout for offering to open my car door for me, I knew something was wrong.” She glanced up at them, lips twisting. “I sat in the jeep and lost it. Melted down. I felt so dead and defeated, like I’d never be happy again. It was like—”
She interrupted herself with a frustrated grunt. Tait clenched his fists to fight the assault of memory but racked up a massive fail on the effort. He saw it all over again. Luna, limp and lifeless in his arms. Her hand, still resting on his neck after using her last breath to kiss him. The candy canes and tinsel at the nurse’s station, blurred by the haze of his tears.
“It was like what?” He managed it on a rasp.
Her face wavered like she prepared an apology instead of a confession. “It was like…I cried for more than just me.” He watched the mental whack she gave herself. “Agghh. This sounds so stupid.”
“Man purses are stupid, okay?” He latched eagerly onto the relief of the humor. “Flavored mayonnaise? Stupid. You are not stupid.”
“You forgot Twitter accounts for dogs,” Kellan added.
“She has the picture.”
Lani beamed at them both. “Yes, she does.” With a sigh, she spread her arms. “I’m not sure how else to express that moment, except that my tears felt…bigger. Heavier. I’m not one of those people that can read people’s auras or ‘sense’ when some crazy world event is going to go down. But that moment, in the jeep, I had this feeling that something had happened beyond my understanding. Something tore into my heart and ripped it open.”
Another breeze kicked across the hill. Clouds drifted. Leaves rustled. Birds sang. Squirrels scampered across the grass. Movement and life, in so many places…
Except Tait’s heart.
When his chest slammed his lungs against his ribs again, he dropped his head. His vision was filled with the white-knuckled union of his hands while his soul and sanity grappled at each other.
Ask her.
Ask her!
Are you kidding? You’ve started to look at the world with a jar full of whole cookies again. Forget this is happening. Stick to the plan. Hands off Hokulani Kail—and that includes her mind. Especially her mind.
“Was it a Wednesday?”
She didn’t say anything right away. But Kellan did. “Fuck.” He felt his friend swiveling a glare on him. “You had to, didn’t you?”
“I like broken cookies.”
“What? Good Christ, Tait, what the hell are you—”
“Yes.” Lani cut him off with a whisper that exploded like a bomb. Tait jerked up his head, his heart clenching to a stop again, as he met her gaze. Another detonation. Her eyes, silvery and sunlit and boundless, spilled over with tears. Her lips trembled. “Yes,” she repeated. “It was a Wednesday.”
Tait surged to his feet. Jammed his hands across the top of his head. This time, he simply didn’t know what the hell to do with them. He laced his fingers at the back of his skull and did a feverish lap around the bench. Another.
Thank fuck for Kellan. His buddy, also standing, held out both hands in a smoothing motion. “Okay, kids. Everyone’s skewing a little too Andrew Lloyd Webber here, and the last time I checked, nobody packed a mask or a cat costume.”
Tait shot him a sardonic glance. “That’s because none of us are John Franzen.”
The levity helped a little. Kellan walked over to Lani and gently tucked her head against his chest. “What’d you do after the meltdown?” he queried.
“She came here.”
The interjection came from a new visitor to their knoll. The woman was hard to miss in her long Indian sari of bright yellow and blue but would’ve snagged their attention without it due to the lyrical power of her voice. Though her headsca
rf didn’t hide all her gray hair and her pace was more a shuffle than steps, she carried herself with such regal grace that Tait was prompted to rise a little, then bow to her. She patted his head and murmured something in Hindi, which he painstakingly translated to “you’re a good boy,” though he was rusty on everything from that region except Pashto and Farsi. Nevertheless, he looked up to give her a smile of gratitude—and only then realized the woman was blind.
“I’m sorry,” Lani said, pushing from Kellan to approach the woman, “but how do you know that?”
“Because I saw you, my dear.”
“You…what?”
“You think we’ve only been given eyes with which to see?” The woman slipped her hand into Lani’s while shuffling toward the bench. Though Kellan stepped over to help her, she shoo’ed him away before sitting, pulling Lani down next to her. Right away, she raised a hand to Lani’s head, running fingers lightly over her hair and shoulders. “Ahhh! Your energy is different today. So different than that first day. Both beautiful sights, but that day,” —she sighed, folding her hands back in her lap, Lani’s still pressed between them— “imparted a memory I shall truly carry beyond the veils with me…and if lucky, into my next existence, as well.”
Tait leaned forward. “Why?” It blurted out as a demand before he could help it. The woman’s wisdom and experience were imprinted in the lines on her face, yet she spoke of the first day she “saw” Lani as if it rivaled a journey to the summit of Everest. Her excitement injected his own blood with a crazy blend of awe and excitement compelling him closer to her.
Her next action shouldn’t have stunned him, but did. She lifted a hand, bidding him to crouch on the ground in front of her. When he did, she repeated the same exploration of his head that she did of Lani.
“Told you the Sunday School hair was worthless,” Kell mumbled.
He let the comment pass. It was pretty damn easy. The woman’s touch was like a rain shower of peace, pelting him with warmth, opening him without judging him. He swayed from the bliss of it, trying to steel himself for the loss and pain that was sure to follow. Women of quality, especially one able to bring him a feeling like this, didn’t stick around for long after seeing his fucked-up soul.
