by Fiona Cole
“Hi, I’m Nova.” I waved, taking a small step into the circle.
“Yeah, Supernova is our secret weapon. She basically keeps us all in line and sings when we can coax her to,” Ash explained.
“Very cool.” Grant looked me up and down but not in a sexual way. More like he was trying to piece together a puzzle. “Well, she may have been the weapon you needed to win. I’m only one judge, but you have my vote tonight. In fact, here’s my card. Email me, and maybe we can set up some shows.”
Parker accepted the card, and they all barely held in their excitement until Grant left. As soon as he rounded the corner, they jumped, shoved, punched, hugged, and even shrieked a little for joy.
The excitement kept pouring in when they were announced the winners of the night, winning a prize package, including money, equipment, and a spot to open for a band at a big concert venue.
By the time we made it back to the apartment, I was beat, but they talked me into joining them down on the basketball court in the basement for beers.
“That was fucking awesome. Best night ever,” Brogan said. He leaned back against the cement wall, his eyes closed, a beer clutched in his hand, and a serene smile on his face.
“Dude,” Oren said, abandoning the basketball he tossed around. He was the only one on his feet still. We all lined the wall, looking exactly like Brogan. Happy and tired. “Grant fucking Sommers. How cool.”
“We’re on the edge of making it. I can feel it,” Parker declared.
“Thank god. I don’t want to go to college,” Ash said.
“If it takes a while, what will you do?” I asked, always looking at the practical side.
“Probably football,” Brogan answered first, not sounding happy.
“My dad wants me to play basketball, but I don’t fucking think so. He can fuck off with that,” Ash grumbled. He didn’t talk about his dad much, but when we did, it rarely sounded anything like love.
“What about you, Oren?” I asked. He was back to playing ball, this time with an imaginary ball. Just bouncing side to side, whirling around to fake out an opponent that wasn’t there.
“Don’t know,” he answered, coming to a stop. “I kind of like Physics. Maybe I’ll shoot for the moon. Literally. NASA sounds like a badass job.”
Somehow, I forgot that Oren was the smartest one out of all of us. His mind was just like his body, working in overtime.
“I don’t want to do anything but this,” Parker said beside me.
“Solid,” Oren agreed, holding his fist out to Parker.
Ash turned my question on me. “What about you?”
“Probably art school. I’d love to go to the Art Institute in Chicago.”
“Not that you need art school,” Parker muttered, bumping his shoulder to mine with a smile.
“I can always learn more.”
Before we could say anything else, Oren shouted, making my heart jump up into my throat.
“Holy fucking fuck. Holy fuck. Yes. So much fucking yes.”
“Dude, what the fuck is going on?” Brogan asked, looking just as alarmed as me.
“Someone uploaded a video to YouTube of us tonight—like less than an hour ago and look at all those fucking likes. Look at them!” Oren shoved the phone in our faces.
Ash snatched his wrist to hold him still. “Holy shit,” he muttered.
Brogan shoved him out of the way. “Is that fifty? Fucking fifty?”
“Fifty shares?” I asked.
“Fifty thousand,” Oren exclaimed. “We’re fucking viral, motherfuckers.” He abandoned his phone with the guys who still stared in awe and ran a victory lap, shouting for joy the entire way.
“They’re talking about you too, Nova. About how amazing your voice is,” Parker said with pride.
I pulled the phone over and scrolled through the comments. I saw the good ones, but I also saw quite a few others. “These are…kind of creepy. This guy commented seven times. Ew.”
“I’d like to see her open her mouth that wide for me,” Brogan read one of the comments, cringing with me.
“The internet is a weird place,” Ash explained, brushing off any concern. “You just got to block those sociopaths out and focus on the majority.”
Thankfully, Oren came back to claim his phone, removing the temptation to give in to my morbid curiosity and read all the others.
“I can’t believe this. Not that it means anything, but it’s kind of huge,” Parker rambled.
“I’m happy for you guys. You’ve been busting your ass this past year.”
“For us,” Ash clarified. “We have been busting our ass.”
I held up my hands, taking a step back. “Uh, no. I’m not part of this.”
“Hell yeah, you are,” Brogan explained, hooking me back into the circle with a burly arm around my shoulders.
“I don’t think so.” I ducked out from under his arm, the thought a little overwhelming. Okay, a lot overwhelming. I just couldn’t quite decide if the overwhelming was good or bad. I stood closer to Parker, hoping he’d back me.
“Don’t go running to brother-dearest. We’ll have him kidnap you and take you with us when we go on tour,” Ash threatened.
“And I’ll do it,” Parker confirmed.
I turned to him with a dropped jaw. “Traitor.”
“Come on, Supernova. You have to sing with us again. They love you,” Brogan cajoled.
“Yeah, come on,” Oren added, winded from his run. “We need you.”
“You guys will be fine without me.”
“Nah,” Ash said. “You’re like the glue that keeps us grounded.”
“Truth,” Parker agreed. “Brogan and Oren would be arrested ASAP if they didn’t have you to be concerned about.”
“They’ll be arrested anyway.”
“Maybe,” Parker agreed.
“Probably,” Ash confirmed.
“But,” Parker said. “They will be less likely to be arrested as they will be on their best behavior because you expect nothing less.”
“Come on, Nova,” Oren whined, brushing his hair back and flexing. “I’m too pretty for prison.”
“Me too,” Brogan added.
“Say you’ll be in the band,” Ash pleaded.
“Nova. Nova. Nova,” Oren started chanting, and the guys quickly joined in.
“Oh, my god,” I groaned, laughing. These guys were crazy, and I couldn’t imagine not doing this with them. “Okay. Okay. Fine. You win. I’ll sing a few songs. Occasionally.”
This time when Oren did a victory lap, he tossed me over his shoulder and took me with him.
I laughed, and the guys followed behind, my hair flowing all around me. All of it played out—surreal but amazing.
I’d had such an exhilarating time on stage. I loved it.
Parker reached out, and I latched on to his hand. He pulled me from Oren’s shoulder and wrapped me in his arms.
Why not give in to the intensity a little bit longer?
Besides, I had Parker to keep me safe.
Twenty
Parker
P A S T
“Do you really think I should do this?” Nova asked me when we stood outside the apartment door.
I was just about to unlock it but stopped, giving her my full attention.
Even after hours of sweating under the spotlights and being exhausted, she still looked more stunning than ever before. I loved the way her hair curled along her hairline, the way her freckles showed more from where her makeup faded. Her bare lips, puffy from where she chewed the lipstick off all night.
I loved it all.
I framed her face in my palms, brushing my thumbs along the freckles I always loved to map, and stared into her emerald eyes, trying to remember why I couldn’t lean down and kiss her.
“Nova, I can’t imagine doing this without you.”
Her cheeks pinkened up, and her teeth came out to chew on her lip again to hide the smile I couldn’t get enough of.
“I’ve
imagined this for a long time, even before I met you, before it had any form beyond an elusive shadow I knew I needed to have. But it was like each moment with you clarified that shadow. It shaped into something tangible. It shaped into something with you in it. This is my dream, and I need you there to help me reach it.”
She nodded slowly, her smile growing. “Okay. I’ll do it with you.”
God, I wanted to kiss her then. I wanted to pull her in my arms and never let her go. It’d been a month since that night we gave in, and not a day goes by that I don’t think about it—about her and the way she tasted, about the way she felt on my lap and under my hands.
Brushing my thumb along her lips, I considered it—could feel myself already leaning in when I heard laughter beyond the door. A reminder of exactly why acting on our attraction had to come to a screeching halt. It almost pained me to do so, but I dropped my hands and nodded my head inside.
“Sounds like the parents are still awake.”
She dragged a hand through her hair and blew her cheeks out with a big exhale. “Yeah. We should head in. It’s late.”
Before sliding the key in the lock, I looked her over one last time. One side of her mouth tipped in a rueful smile matching exactly what I felt—hating being stuck in a position that kept us apart but aware there was nothing we could do.
“Look who’s finally home,” my dad called from where he leaned against the island. Gloriana sat perched on a barstool next to him, both of them holding a glass of wine.
“Look who’s up,” I shot back.
“Yeah, we had a bunch of Chatty Cathies at your dad’s dinner tonight,” Gloria explained with an eye roll.
“They weren’t that bad,” my dad defended playfully.
“Brad, we shut the restaurant down, and dinner was supposed to end at nine.”
He winced, tipping his head side-to-side. “Okay, so they talked a lot.” He conceded before they both focused their attention on us. “So, how was the show?”
“Good.” I tried to play it cool, but nothing was holding back my smile.
And nothing was holding back the volcano of excitement next to me. Apparently, all she needed was to be asked and came to life like a firecracker. “Good?” Nova exclaimed. “They freaking won and had a top record executive come over to talk to them.”
“That’s my boy,” Dad crowed, lifting his glass as if giving a toast.
My smile grew. I had to admit, I was lucky my dad always supported me. Sure, he would have preferred me to follow him into the world of business, but I’d never been into anything other than music. Even when my mom, who left us to start another family, got on me about having real dreams and aspirations with actual success that “didn’t rely on a hope and a miracle,” my dad always had my back. He never stepped out of my corner.
“He was amazing,” Nova gushed. “They all were.”
“Yeah, but we wouldn’t have won without you,” I rebutted.
“What do you mean?” Gloria asked, tipping her head.
Nova dropped her eyes to the floor, but not before I saw the blush stain her cheeks. I loved that she was so fair-skinned that I could see every emotion.
I bumped my shoulder with hers, wanting her to stop hiding. “We finally got Nova to sing with us, and she killed it.”
“What?” Gloria asked again, her smile slipping.
“It’s nothing, Mom. Not a big deal at all.”
“No big deal?” I asked, shocked. “Even the record exec said Nova was our winning edge. She has such a unique tone that sets us apart.”
“Nova,” my dad gushed, completely missing the way Gloria finished her wine in one gulp. “How did I not know you sang? I guess you hanging out at practices makes more sense now,” he laughed.
Nova perked up at the praise. “Yeah, it was pretty cool. Usually, I just help them out where I can with creating the songs at practice, but Parker pushed me.”
“Well, I think you were willing to be pushed anywhere away from Oren bouncing around saying please five times in a second,” I said, rolling my eyes.
“So, are you singing more?” Gloria asked, doing her best to mask whatever displeasure she found in Nova singing.
“I think so. I know it’s new, but I really like it. It’s a lot more fun than I ever expected it to be. And once I get over that initial hurdle of actually getting out there in front of people, I kind of lose myself.”
Her mom nodded slowly, and a conversation passed between them I had no hope of understanding. I made a note to ask Nova later. Right then, I wanted to share the rest of the news.
“And someone recorded us at our show tonight and posted it to YouTube, and it’s getting crazy likes. It’s going viral.” Now I felt like Oren, bouncing on my toes.
“And viral is good?” my dad asked.
I rolled my eyes and shook my head, leaning over to give him a shove. “Such an old man.”
“Okay, okay. I know what viral means,” he conceded. “What I don’t know is what that means next.”
“I don’t know. Could be nothing. We could be going with our original plan of hustling over the summer at holes in the wall and not get far. We could get a call from Dave Grohl asking us to open for the Foo Fighters tomorrow and head out on tour with them.”
“And you want Nova with you?” her mom asked.
“Yeah. She’s a hit. The comments about her are crazy.”
“What about school?” she asked.
For the first time all night, I slowed down. The perfect, hopeful future I imagined waking up to tomorrow had a mar on it I hadn’t seen a moment ago.
I looked to Nova to find a rueful smile on her face like she hadn’t even considered it either. I graduated in a couple of weeks, but she had a whole other year.
“She can finish it on tour. Kids do online learning all the time now.”
“What about college, Nova?”
“I can just attend local shows and just sing there. It’s not like I’m a vital member,” Nova explained.
I scoffed. “Yeah, right. Look at these comments,” I said, handing my phone over to Gloria before turning back to Nova. “You’re more than vital to this band. Did we not already go over Oren and Brogan needing you to keep them from getting arrested?”
“That’s a fair point,” Dad threw in. “It will be a miracle if they make it to twenty-one without at least seeing a holding cell,” he joked.
“There are a lot of men commenting on things other than your voice,” Gloria grumbled. “My god. Some of these make me want to lock you away forever.”
“It’s the internet,” Nova rebuked. “Those comments are nothing worse than the random guys who try to contact me asking if I’m looking for a sugar daddy.”
“I just…” Gloria sighed, her shoulders drooping. “I just don’t know what to think of all this.”
The deeper Gloria’s frown grew, the more it stole the light from our moment, and I wasn’t ready for that just yet. “Either way, it’s all nothing more than an off chance. A song going viral may mean nothing. No matter what happens, we’ve got a lot of work ahead of us. We’re all just so excited about what may be.”
“Besides,” Dad tagged on, refilling Gloria’s glass and luring her into placidity with the red liquid. “Parker will take care of her. He’s like her bother, and he’ll watch out for her.”
It took all I had not to flinch at the punch to the gut. I just barely managed a smile. “Yeah. I’d take care of her.”
Gloria accepted the glass, shrugging. “You always did want a brother,” she said to Nova.
“It all works out,” my dad said, looking adoringly at Gloria.
I wanted to backtrack to before Gloria got upset. I wanted to go back to my dad patting me on the back and Oren running victory laps around the gym. I wanted to go back out in the hallway and kiss Nova before I was doused with the reminder of what I was expected to be.
“All right, Glor,” my dad said. “How about we take our wine and head to bed. I’m fucking beat
after that dinner.” They walked past, stopping to pat me on the back with one last congratulations.
“I should head to bed, too,” Nova said, some of the shine she came in with gone.
“Yeah, me too.”
Because what else was left to say?
I managed to stay in bed for all of thirty minutes, listening to the murmur of our parents before everything went silent. I tried to focus on the dark, center my mind to a new tune that eluded me. Almost like an itch that went away as soon as you scratched it.
I turned this way and that, but nothing helped.
“Fuck it.”
I threw off my covers and eased open the door, waiting for someone to make a noise, letting me know they were awake. When nothing came, I made my trip down the hall. I knew it would take only seven steps—five if I made them bigger. I knew one floorboard creaked when you hit it just at the right angle and how to avoid it on step three. I knew I had to lift up on the handle to avoid the door getting caught in the humid summers but didn’t have to worry about it in the winter.
I knew to take a wide berth around the dresser along the wall to make it to her bed because she liked to change right in front and drop shit where she stood. I’d tripped over more than one pair of shoes and pants before.
I knew she slept on the right side of the bed, so I looked for the corner and used it to make my way to the left. I knew just the sound of her breathing and when she was awake because it grew a little quicker the closer I got.
We’d done this more than once a week, and it was like under the cover of night, we could pretend it didn’t matter. We never kissed. We never talked about why I was there. We just let it be. Sometimes we’d hold hands and talk until we fell asleep, only to wake up curled into each other. Some nights we didn’t bother waiting until we fell asleep and curled up right away.
Tonight was one of those nights. As soon as I eased in the bed, she rolled into my chest, the soft puffs of air heating my already too hot skin.
“I’m sorry my mom was such a Debbie downer.”
