by Deanna Chase
I sat up. “Lailah?”
She whirled, appearing startled, as if realizing for the first time she wasn’t alone. Her phone buzzed and, after a quick glance at a message, she let out a cry of frustration and threw the phone into a winged-back chair.
“What’s going on?” I squeezed Kane’s hand, needing to feel something solid.
She scowled. “The National Order just tasked me with tracking Philip.”
“And that’s a problem why?” One way or another we’d have to find Meri, because I sure as shit wasn’t sharing my soul with anyone…especially an ex-demon.
“If Philip doesn’t want to be found, he won’t be.” She threw her hands up. “No one’s that close to him. Not even me.” She took a deep breath and mumbled, “Especially not me.”
The gut-wrenching ache buried deep inside her made me cringe. Too weak to construct my barriers, I turned to Bea and swallowed my pride. “Can I get one of your healing herbs?”
Bea raised one curious eyebrow and nodded. Under any other circumstance, I would have suffered through my weakened state. But after surviving Hell, I’d be an idiot to reject such a small bit of magical assistance. My choices were to either swallow the damn pill or risk passing out.
With a shaking hand, I took the tea Bea offered me and downed the pill before I could talk myself out of it. Almost instantly, the shaking stopped and the fuzziness in my head cleared. Lailah’s pain still pressed on me, but a second later, I raised my imaginary silo.
“Better?” Lailah asked, an edge of irritation in her voice.
“Actually, yes.” I set the drink on the table, certain her wrath stemmed from my intrusion on her turbulent emotions.
She locked eyes with me. I’m entitled to a little privacy.
I didn’t pry on purpose.
She let out a huff and stormed outside, slamming the door hard enough to knock a silver-framed photo right off the wall. It fell, shattering the glass.
Both Kane and Bea turned accusing eyes on me.
“Hey!” I cried in defense. “I tried to block her emotions. Why do you think I asked for the pill? I was just too weak to construct my emotional barriers. I wasn’t trying to spy on her.”
Kane relaxed beside me and patted my leg. “Sorry.”
Bea let out a heavy sigh. “It’s been a long day. Everyone’s a little on edge.”
No kidding. I suppressed the desire to roll my eyes. After all, if the coven hadn’t come to the rescue, Kane and I would still be in Hellville. Even though the outcome ended in a clusterfuck, at least Kane wasn’t being drained and Dan was back in our reality.
So I was sharing my soul with a demon. There were worse things, right? Like actually being a demon. At least life hadn’t gotten that bad…yet.
I grimaced and rose from the couch. “I’m going to find Lailah.”
Kane got to his feet and followed me.
When I reached the door, I turned. “I think it’s better if I talk to her alone. Do you mind?”
A tinge of his anxiety touched me.
I rose to my tiptoes and kissed his cheek. “I’ll be fine. A bunch of witches are out there. What do you think is going to happen?”
Skepticism rolled off him as he raised an eyebrow.
“Okay, so anything could happen, but you being present probably isn’t going to change anything. And right now, I need to have a one-on-one with her.” I gave him an apologetic look. “With the questions I need to ask, your presence will make our chat awkward at best.”
He took a step back, and he nodded as my words sunk in. “I see.”
“Thanks.” I hugged him and then headed out the door.
Before it closed, I heard Bea say, “They need to work through their differences on their own. The sooner they figure out how to work together, the better. If not—”
Click.
Damn it. If not, what? I paused and contemplated reopening the door. No. There would be time to question Bea later. I moved to the railing of the porch and scanned the grounds.
The coven members were still gathered in a circle. My mother and Gwen were inside, smudging away with sage bundles. I almost laughed. I highly doubted sage would ward off any evil from Hell, but I’m sure the process put Mom at ease. Smudging used to be one of her specialties. In her mind, a space was never quite right until it got a good dose of smudging.
Lucien caught my eye and trotted over. “Feeling better?”
“A little. Bea hooked me up with a healing herb.”
“This should help, too.” He grabbed my hands. “I, Lucien Boulard, transfer the leadership of the New Orleans coven to you, Jade Calhoun.”
A small zing of power sparked into my fingers, traveling to my chest. The coven magic filled the vacancy I hadn’t quite gotten used to. I sighed in relief. “Thank you. That does help.”
He gave me an awkward hug. “Glad you made it back safe.”
With a short nod, he rejoined the coven as I made my way down the steps, scanning for Lailah. After a quick, unsuccessful peek at the back porch, I headed down the driveway past the main house. Bea lived in the carriage home on an old plantation property in the middle of the Garden District. Rich violet and pink flowers lined the immaculate, manicured lawns. She’d told us her cousins lived in the family home, but I’d yet to see any of them. Did Lailah know them? Maybe that’s where she’d escaped to.
A narrow stone path veered off into lush gardens on the side of the driveway. On impulse, I followed it. No harm in checking before I bothered people I’d never met. Deep red wine-colored rose bushes framed the walkway until I got to a curve, where a large, thick orange tree to the left blocked my view of the rest of the garden.
Before I made the corner, I already knew I’d found the angel. Her inner turmoil, a murky mix of guilt and trepidation, came through loud and clear.
I didn’t bother to slow my steps. Just as I sensed her, she no doubt heard my thoughts. What a pair.
“Did you miss the part where I stormed out?” she asked as soon as I spotted her on a green-painted wrought iron bench. “Or are you too clueless to realize I wanted to be alone?”
“I noticed.” The chill of cold metal seeped through my jeans as I took a seat next to her. I sagged in relief, grateful for the break in exertion. Bea’s vitamin hadn’t helped as much as I’d hoped.
Lailah stared straight ahead, watching a chirping red bird sitting at the base of the orange tree. “Spit it out.”
Normally I’d take my time assessing someone’s emotional state before asking such a personal question, but Lailah had to know what I was thinking. This was her way of making me squirm. I hated to pry, but my soul was on the line.
There was no use beating around the orange tree. “What exactly is your relationship with Philip?”
She made a small noise in the back of her throat.
“Oh, come on. You already knew I was going to ask. I’m sorry, but considering the circumstances, I think it’s a fair question.”
Her pale face flushed pink. “We’re…friends.”
“And?”
She turned to me, her eyes narrowed and angry. “That’s all. He’s definitely not my boyfriend, if that’s what you’re getting at.”
That’s exactly what I’d been asking. Hadn’t he slept in her bed with her? I wasn’t convinced their relationship was entirely platonic. Judging by the blush deepening on her cheeks, I was right on target. “So you’re friends, but you’re sleeping together. Right?”
She pursed her lips and bit the side of her cheek. Then she gave me a short nod.
“Goddess, Lailah. Was that so hard? It’s not like I was going to call you a slut or anything.”
She plucked at an invisible thread on her white cotton skirt. “He has a mate,” she said quietly.
“A demon one. What’s he supposed to do, stay celibate for the rest of his life?”
She shook her head. “He’s free to do whatever he wishes. But there’s something you don’t understand about angels.”
/> I waited for her to enlighten me. When she didn’t continue, I prompted, “And that would be?”
She met my gaze with her intense one. “Once angels lose their mate to Hell, they are incapable of truly loving another. Something crucial is lost. A piece of them dies.” A single tear glistened in her right eye. She lifted a finger and wiped it away.
“You’re in love with him.” It wasn’t a question, but a statement.
She didn’t respond. She didn’t have to. The vice seizing her heart said it all.
A long moment went by as we both stared at nothing. Finally I turned to her. “Then why were you so fixated on Kane?”
She barked out a laugh. “Philip has a bad habit of popping in and out of my life. I never know if or when he’ll be around. The last time he left, I promised myself I wasn’t going to wait for him anymore. That’s when I started dating Kane.”
She got up and paced again. “Our relationship didn’t last long. How could it? I mean, I was always dreaming of Philip. And since Kane dreamwalks…well, it wasn’t long before we broke up.”
A dose of guilt shot up my spine. All this time I’d been jealous of their relationship, and Kane never said a word about Lailah’s feelings for someone else. Of course, he’d never betray her trust, but still. The information would have defused quite a bit of tension.
She smiled wistfully. “Maybe knowing about Philip would’ve saved us some tension, but not likely.”
“Why not?”
She ran a hand through her long mane. “The thing is, I did like Kane. It was easier to pine for him than it was Philip.”
I frowned, not following.
She sat next to me again, turning so her knees almost brushed mine. “You see, my heart was safer pining for Kane. I knew we’d never get back together. But if I devoted my energy to him, I wouldn’t have to think about Philip, and at the same time I’d be free if Philip ever came to town again.”
Her heartache started to fade with her confession. Suddenly compassion for her overtook all my other emotions. How awful to be in love with someone who could never love you back.
“Exactly.” She rose and offered me her hand. “I owe you an apology. If I’d faced my reality sooner, there never would have been a strong enough connection between Kane and me for Meri to get her hooks into. He’d never have been marked and you wouldn’t be in this mess.”
“You don’t know that.” I shook my head as I grabbed her hand and stood. “Besides, none of this is your fault. We can blame Meri, but it’s not her fault either. She didn’t want to fall and lose her soul. It just happened, and now we need to deal with the consequences.”
She nodded and started to walk back toward Bea’s house. “You’re right. The question is, where do we start?”
“You know Philip better than any of us,” I said, following her. “If anyone can find him, you can.”
“Goddess, I hope so.” She stopped and picked up a fallen rose petal. She held it out on her palm and blew. As it glided on the mild wind, she whispered, “I really, really hope so.”
Chapter 20
I followed Lailah down the narrow path toward the driveway. Her sandals slapped against the stones, filling the silence between us. I stared at my dirty Skechers, racking my brain on how to locate Dan.
Could Kane dreamwalk me to him? A tiny shudder ran through me. The last thing I wanted to do was ask Kane to invade Dan’s dreams.
Lailah snorted. “Good luck with that.”
“Get out of my head.” I kicked a tiny rock in her direction. The pebble missed and landed in the dirt.
She stopped at the edge of the driveway, holding her hands up in defeat. “Sorry. I can’t help it.”
I rolled my eyes and swept past her.
“You know…” She fell in step beside me and let out an exaggerated sigh. “There is one way to smoke them out, but it’s pretty drastic.”
I sent her a sideways glance and raised my eyebrows.
She massaged her temple before answering. “I could get them on Goodwin’s ‘save’ list. Then all of his followers would be on the hunt.”
I froze. “Are you serious?”
“Well, sure. It’s not like we can put an APB out on them or anything. This is the next best thing.”
My stomach turned at the thought of unleashing hundreds of ‘saviors’ on anyone. It was too damn bad the idea had merit. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. “Let’s check with Bea and Lucien first. If they don’t have any suggestions, I guess we can try.”
“Great,” she said her tone flat.
“You don’t think they can help?”
She shook her head. “No, that’s not…look, I’m just not crazy about working with Goodwin.”
“I’m not crazy about the idea either, but it was your suggestion.”
“I know.” She plucked a leaf from a nearby tree. “Just because it’s the only suggestion I have doesn’t mean I want to do it.”
Watching her, I narrowed my eyes. Exactly what was their relationship? Were they mates or not? Hard to believe if Lailah had feelings for Philip.
She spun. “Goodwin is most definitely not my mate. No matter how delusional he may be about the subject.”
Her indignation made me smile. “So why would the good Reverend think such a thing if it’s out of the realm of possibility?”
All the fight seemed to drain out of her as her shoulders sagged and the irritation vanished from her face. “We dated as teenagers.”
“Really?” I had trouble reconciling the conservative religious evangelist and the bohemian free spirit actually dating. “For how long?”
She swallowed. “Three years.”
“Holy smokes!” I gaped. “No wonder he thinks you’re mates.”
“You dated Dan for years. Do you think you’re destined to spend the rest of eternity with him?”
“Of course not, but I’m not an angel.”
She shook her head in exasperation. “Angels are only mates once they claim each other in a formal ceremony.” The tone of her voice softened as she continued, “I never claimed Jonathon.”
I’d never heard her so vulnerable before. I took a step closer and gently touched her arm. “But he claimed you.”
Tears filled her bright blue eyes and she nodded.
“What happened?”
She brushed a hand across her eyes and pasted a forced smile on her face. “The classic runaway-bride scenario. I made it all the way to the binding ceremony, but when it was my turn, I ran. By the time I found the nerve to face him again, he’d joined the church and turned into someone I didn’t recognize.”
Oh, God. How awful. “How much time went by?”
“Six months.”
“Poor Jonathon.” I let the words slip before I had the time to bite them back. Yikes. “Sorry.”
She shook her head. “You’re right. It was an awful thing to do, but I was young and I panicked. Afterwards, I didn’t know how to approach him. Since then…well, we are two very different people. But I wish he’d come to terms with the fact that we are no longer meant to be.”
“And Philip’s the right angel?”
She shrugged. “Probably not. Especially since he’s helping Meri now.” Sadness flashed in her eyes, but she pulled her hand away and held her head high. “Let’s get going. We have an ex-demon to find.”
I followed Lailah back to Bea’s. We were climbing the porch steps when a red VW Bug roared up the drive and skidded to a stop behind Bea’s silver Prius. Kat jumped out and ran over, grasping me in a fierce hug. “Thank God you’re okay.”
“Whoa.” I laughed and gently pushed her away. “Did Gwen call you?”
“Lucien.” She nodded to Lailah. “Thanks for taking care of her.”
“All in a day’s work.” Lailah smiled and moved onto the porch.
Kat turned to me. “Where’s Dan?”
“Lucien didn’t tell you?” I mentally cursed him. I hated to be the bearer of bad news…again.
She
shook her head.
“He’s—” A crippling flash of anger rippled through me. The weirdly familiar yet foreign energy made my knees buckle, and I grabbed Kat’s arm for support. Uncontrollable rage took over my senses. I dug my fingers into Kat’s flesh until she cried out.
“Jade, stop!”
Her cry sliced through the unwanted mental energy, bringing me back to myself. I let go. “Oh my God. I’m so sorry.”
Kat cradled her arm against her chest. “What was that?”
I took a step back as the rage tried to overtake me again. Quickly I raised my mental silo, the one that never failed to give me peace. But this time, the anger only grew stronger. And worse, I couldn’t get a read on Kat at all. She was usually the one person I could count on to lend me strength when I needed some. I grabbed my head with both hands, trying to curb the intense pounding caused by the turbulent rage.
“Jade!” Kat cried again and shook me. “What’s going on?”
My barriers disappeared, and Kat’s panic started to edge out the foreign energy. “It’s okay,” I said, letting out a long breath. “I’m okay.”
I sought out Lailah, now holding Kane back on the porch. When had he come outside? I gave him a weak smile. He tried to brush her off, but she moved in front of him. “She needs to work this out herself.”
I met her worried eyes. “Meri’s causing this?”
She nodded. “I’m afraid so. The sooner you learn to control the connection, the stronger you’ll be.”
Ugh. My trusty silo wasn’t going to do the trick this time. How did one block out emotions connected to her own soul?
***
I leaned against the counter at The Grind, the café I worked at, and popped my sixth magically enhanced vitamin of the day. My chai tea scalded the roof of my mouth as I choked the concoction down.
“Again?” Pyper asked, packing grinds into the espresso machine.
“Yes. I can’t seem to get through a few hours without needing one.”
She made a face. “Your condition is getting worse.”
I twisted, stretching my back. “I know, but until we find Meri, there isn’t much else I can do.”
