She gave me her warm smile and stood up. “I think this room has one person too many right now. I’m sure you two have a lot to talk about. I’m going to check in on Tas.”
Gaige walked Bec to the door like a gentleman. He gave her a kiss on the cheek and thanked her for helping me get settled. When he returned, he paused at the edge of the bed but sat in the chair. He squirmed for a moment, like he couldn’t get comfortable, and stood up again. “You like Bec?”
“Yes, very much. I’m glad you had us meet.”
“I thought you’d like her. So, are you ready for a tour of the ship?”
He held his hand out to me, but I didn’t take it. A tour could wait. I wanted to talk to him about his timeline for my adjustment.
“Actually, can we talk first?”
“Talk?” His hand dropped to his side. His eyes scanned my empty room, stopping at my bed. “Here?”
“Yes, here. I want to talk to you about my adjustment period.” I patted the bed for him to sit down. “I don’t think I need it.”
He watched my hand for a moment, which patted the spot right next to me, and then sat in the chair. “Okay, we can talk.”
I stilled my hand. “Gaige, I’m not going to bite you.”
“But I might bite you.” His ornery dimples flashed for a second, then disappeared. “I think it’s best if I sit here.”
“Fine.” The word came out as sour as a lemon. I hampered my attitude and continued. “Sit wherever you’d like.”
I scooted myself to the edge of the bed opposite his chair and hung my legs over the side. His knees nearly touched mine. The muscles in his neck tightened and his eyes wandered to the wall, the ceiling, the floor—anywhere but mine.
I snapped my fingers in front of my face. “Gaige, I’m right here.”
His eyes found mine and fixed themselves in a mesmerized stare. “Yes, you are.” He reached a hand toward me, but quickly pulled it back. He got up and went to the window. “Looks cold out there.”
I followed and stood behind him, stretching to look over his shoulder at the frozen Ohio yard I was sure he cared nothing about. “Gaige, you’re killing me here.”
He turned to me with his worry face—the same furrowed brow I’d seen on Earth when things weren’t going well. “What do you mean?”
“It’s about this . . . you . . . me . . . everything. I don’t know.” I bowed my head, gritted my teeth, and then stood tall, determined to say what I needed to say. “I know there’s something between us. I feel it in every fiber of my being. I can’t fight it. I don’t want to fight it.”
Gaige tensed, but stayed silent, not jumping in to argue or change the subject like I thought he might.
“You want me. I know you do.” I took his face in my hands. He stiffened even more, but didn’t pull away. “On Earth, the way you touched me, caressed me. You’d barely been able to stop yourself. And here. I slept in your arms last night. You walked me to this room hand-in-hand. And the forehead kisses you give me. Your words are cautious, especially since we arrived here. Your body and your energy are not in agreement with the words, though. Even now, it’s like you’re afraid to be in the same room with me. But your body is still reaching out to me. What is causing you to fight that? I know—the adjustment, something you’re going to tell me, blah, blah, blah—”
“You don’t even know how long you’ll be here. I told you what that means to an Anuan. It’s a life-long commitment.”
I dropped my hands from his face. My draw to him had taken over my brain and I hadn’t thought about that part. Was I ready to leave everything I’d ever known behind? Forever? I hadn’t quite reconciled that. “We wouldn’t have to take things that far.”
“Could you stop short, Victoria? Because I couldn’t. It’s best we not tempt it.”
“I could stay here if I wanted to, couldn’t I? Permanently, I mean. It’s more than some far-out possibility, isn’t it?”
Gaige closed his eyes and took a breath. I wondered for a moment if he would answer at all. But his eyes opened and he spoke. “Yes. You could.”
“Do you not want me here? Do you not want to be with me?”
The worried lines in Gaige's face had been replaced with a weary softness. “I didn’t say that. I just don’t want to be the reason you stay. I want you to take time to figure out what you want.”
I looked at the picture of my parents sitting on the dresser. Before long, they’d realize I wasn’t in Ohio anymore. Bec said I could see them again, but would it only be to tell them goodbye? Could I walk out of their lives and into another world? Could I hurt them like that?
Then there was Gaige, standing in front of me. How could I walk away from him? Or this place that tugged at me to stay? I wanted to go home, to tell my parents I was okay, that I loved them and would never leave them. But I also wanted to wrap myself in Gaige’s arms, that very second, and stay forever. “What I want is for you to stop putting distance between us.” I balled my hands into tight fists. “I hate it!”
“I know you do.” Gaige raised a hand to my face. His fingers hovered just over my cheek for a brief second before he pulled his hand away without touching me.
I didn’t want understanding at that moment. I wanted a resolution. I couldn’t take another minute of the way things were. I had to get through to him.
“Gaige . . . I love you!” I froze. The words had tumbled out on their own. I’d meant them. But to actually hear myself say them out loud, to him, scared me to death. How would he respond? Had I been delusional?
Gaige’s mouth searched for words but said nothing. His eyes glazed over, like they didn’t recognize I stood in front of him. The longer I waited, the more I felt like a fool, pouring my heart out to him and getting nothing in return. Tears welled up in my eyes that matched the anger boiling inside me.
“Say something!”
I slammed my palms into his chest. A tingle ran up my arms like I’d grabbed a live wire. Faster than I could track what was happening, Gaige had me pressed against the wall with his lips on mine. I clung to his shirt, never wanting to let go.
“No.” He mumbled between kisses but didn’t stop.
I gripped his shirt tighter, fighting against the no that teetered on a fine edge of indecision.
“No!” He broke from our kiss and embraced me so firmly I couldn’t move. “I love you, too,” he whispered. The words mingled with his breath, almost too indistinguishable to hear. But they were there.
He pulled away and held me at arm’s length. “That’s why I won’t do this to you. I love you enough to stop myself and give you time to understand what you’re feeling. If it’s real and if it’s meant to be, it will be. But not now.”
CHAPTER 65 -
GAIGE
Victoria touched her lips, “You . . . you . . .” Then she held her hands out in front of her like they were two foreign objects. “I, I pushed you. I only meant to touch you. But I was so angry. Gaige, I’m sorry.”
Tears pooled in her eyes as one of her hands went to her lips again. Still feeling my kiss there, I was sure. What had I done? I could feel the passion and the longing and the guilt and the anger, and a hundred other emotions in Victoria. Every single one of those emotions played out on her face, ready for the wrong touch or the wrong word to give them the microscopic nudge they needed to shatter her into a million pieces.
“I don’t know what I’m feeling, Gaige. I love you and I hate you. I want you and I want to punch you. I want to cry and I want to scream. I don’t know what to do.”
Her tears broke free, streaming down her face. She gasped for air through her sobs. I couldn’t help myself. I pulled her to me, to comfort her. Only to comfort, I repeated to myself. Only to comfort.
“There’s not a lot you can do. I’ll show you how to relax and put things in a proper perspective. But mostly, you just need to give yourself time to learn how to manage all the extra emotional energy you’re picking up here.”
“Okay,” she said, h
er voiced muffled against my chest. Sniffing uncontrollably and still trying to catch her breath, she raised her head and wiped her cheeks. “I really am sorry, Gaige.”
“It’s okay. I know you didn’t mean it. And I’m the one who should be sorry. I should never have kissed you. That only made things worse.”
“Don’t be sorry.” She touched my lips with her fingers and became calmer.
I didn’t say a word, and just let her work things out. After a moment her breathing steadied, with only an occasional sniff to disrupt her stillness.
“You love me?” she said.
I nodded. “I do. I still shouldn’t have kissed you. You’re not ready. You understand that now, right?”
“Yes, I do.” She lowered her hand from my lips and wiped away the remaining tears from her cheeks. “So how about we call things even and start over?”
“That sounds like a good plan.” I released my hold on her but we didn’t move otherwise.
After a moment, Victoria spoke. “So, what now?”
What now? A good question. “Uh. Well.” If this was any other person in the universe, what would I do? “We’ll see the ship. Yes, our tour. And we’ll introduce you to some people. But gradually. We need to take things very slowly. Okay?”
“Okay.” She laid her head back against my chest. “And thank you.”
“For what?”
“For saying it.”
I wasn’t sure telling her I loved her was the best thing. At least I’d been able to give her some peace. “You’re welcome.”
She took my hand. “So who do I get to meet first?”
“I think we should see the ship first, and give it a few days before I introduce you to any more people than you’ve already met.”
Victoria’s shoulders slumped. “Maybe you’re right. But I have already met you, and Conner, and Zada, and Bec. Maybe one or two new people at a time would be all right. Since it has been so far.” Victoria looked up at me through her long dark lashes. “What do you think?”
I didn’t like the idea, but I wanted to be fair to Victoria and consider her question. Meeting me and Conner had affected her, but not catastrophically. I wasn’t sure Zada and Bec were good cases by which to judge. Victoria had had time to adjust to Zada in sickbay before they’d formally met, and Bec’s abilities most likely weren’t strong enough to have much of an effect on Victoria. What little exposure Victoria had had to us, wasn’t sufficient to predict how well she’d acclimate to a ship full of Anuans.
The right pace would be a guessing game and I wanted to stay well on the cautious side. Logic told me I should keep her isolated from as much energy as possible for a while. Not that energy wasn’t already present everywhere, but it wasn’t necessarily at the same concentration that would be associated with a person. One thing I did know: she wouldn’t be happy wrapped up in a cocoon and hidden away from the world.
Victoria waited patiently for my answer, with her puppy dog eyes urging me to agree with her. If she really wanted to meet somebody, I could think of only one safe prospect. My Dad was so good at blocking his energies from others, meeting him would be almost like meeting no one. It seemed like a good compromise right now. A way to keep Victoria happy and protected. Whether she would be comfortable meeting my father in her current, shaky state was another matter. That piece of information, perhaps, should wait.
“Okay. Maybe just one.”
Victoria’s face brightened. Making her happy made me happy. But I couldn’t let myself get caught up in her excitement and forget that the slightest wrong decision could send her spinning out of control.
CHAPTER 66 -
BRIAN
A clang echoed through my cell, waking me with the familiar sound from the night they slammed me into that place—cold metal bars locking hard and firm. Only this time, the sound came from farther away.
Too weak to move, I stayed in my fetal position on the cold concrete floor trying to hold in what little heat I could. I waited, hoping someone was finally bringing me food.
Footsteps came closer, reverberating off the walls the same way the din of the clanking doors had. I assumed I must be the target of the visitor. As far as I could tell, no one else shared my fate in that dreary place. I hadn’t heard a sound from man nor beast since I’d arrived. I considered the latter to be a good thing, though.
The footsteps stopped right in front of my cell. I dragged myself off the floor—barely—and stood. Squinting, I tried to make out the person’s form in the dark area beyond my light bulb. Nothing differentiated it from the rest of the blackness.
“You’re not very smart for a scientist, are you? It doesn’t pay to try and be a hero.”
The voice belonged to a male, but I still couldn’t tell what the man looked like or whether he wore civilian or military clothes.
“Here,” he said.
Something bounced across the floor of my cell and ricocheted off the wall behind me, just to my right. Then another item landed with a soft thud in front of me. Within the small circle of light, the sight of a few precious slices of bread in a clear storage bag made my mouth water.
“That’ll buy you enough time for your visitor to arrive,” he said. “He’d be pretty upset with us if we let you die before he had a chance to deal with you himself.”
My visitor? The footsteps receded and the clang echoed again through the silence left behind. I dropped to my knees and tore open the bag of bread, stuffing a piece into my mouth. The cheap white bread tasted better than any food I’d ever had. Still chewing, I groped the floor behind me with raw palms, looking for the other object. My hands finally met a plastic bottle. I swung it around under the light. Exactly as I’d thought—a bottle of water. I twisted off the top and began to gulp the precious substance.
I stopped suddenly, realizing it might have to last for a while.
CHAPTER 67 -
VICTORIA
Gaige stopped where my corridor fed into another. “Right here is where Earth gravity ends. Except today. Today I have the whole ship set to Earth gravity. The children love it. But normally, you will need to stop right here.” He swung his arm back and forth like a pendulum at the end of my corridor.
“Okay. I get it, Gaige. Right here. I won’t go past this point.” I took his hand and stepped across the normally forbidden line.
Gaige didn’t reciprocate my grip, deciding, I supposed, whether or not handholding would stress any adjustment period boundaries. Apparently concluding it to be manageable, he tightened his fingers. He pointed with his other hand to the lights lining the top of both sides of the corridor. “These yellow lights indicate something other than Anuan gravity. In this case, Earth gravity. If you forget, just look for the lights. No lights mean our normal Anuan gravity is present. You shouldn’t go there. I don’t want you to get over-stressed.”
Gaige turned left down another corridor with the same solid yellow lights lining its walls. The halls all looked alike to me, so I paid close attention to when we turned and which way we went.
“Is your gravity really that bad?” I asked.
“It could cause you difficulty.”
“Okay, I’ll take your word for it. Where are we going first?”
“We’re going to the bridge. You wanted to meet somebody and I thought the captain would be a good person to start with. He’s been a mentor to me my whole life.”
“So, he’s important to you?”
“Yes, he’s very important to me.”
“Then that’s a perfect place to start.”
Gaige and I came to a stop in front of a door that slid open upon registering our presence.
“This is an ibbs, uh, I mean elevator,” Gaige said. “Our equivalent of an elevator, anyway.”
“I can call it an ibbs. That’s what it is here.”
Letting go of my hand, he waved his arm toward its interior. “After you.”
Gaige followed me inside the smooth-walled pod, shaped more like an egg than the box configuration
of an Earth elevator. Our reflections looked back at us, uninhibited by any buttons or other obstructions on the wall’s shiny metallic finish. My bloodshot eyes reminded me how upset I’d been back in my room. Embarrassed at even the thought of my behavior, I looked away. I couldn’t be reminded of that other me. The one in turmoil. The one I’d break free of as soon as I could.
Gaige told the pod to go to the main bridge and asked permission to see the captain. A silky female voice confirmed his request. When we began our descent, symbols lit up behind what I thought had been a solid metal wall. I noticed the familiar clanking noises associated with Earth elevators were strangely absent.
“It’s quiet,” I said.
“It runs on pressure rather than cables. We’re floating to our floor.”
As the ibbs glided down, my stomach drifted up within my body like it wasn’t sure it wanted to stay with me. I wrung my hands together, intertwining my fingers, untwirling them again, and then repeating the actions. My nerves ramped up higher and higher with each step we progressed toward the bridge and its captain. I jumped when the door opened to a large room with several corridors leading from it.
Gaige took my hand again. “You okay?”
“Mm-hm.” I focused on living up to my answer by putting one foot in front of the other as we stepped out of the ibbs. I figured I could manage meeting the captain if I broke it down to one step at a time. “Was that a real person speaking in the ibbs?” I asked, thinking some kind of conversation might be a good distraction from the nerves that didn’t want to settle down.
“No, it’s the computer system.”
I barely heard Gaige’s answer. My mind started rethinking whether I should have waited a few days before meeting any more people. No, I thought, convincing myself of the answer more than actually reaching a decision. I could do this. I would do this.
The Anuan Legacy: Book 1 of The Anuan Legacy Series Page 17
