Conner gave me a consoling slap on the shoulder and sat down in the chair next to me. “She’ll get over this.”
I rolled my head in his direction. “She was pretty mad. She hates to be lied to. Now she finds out her whole life was a lie.”
“She needs time to absorb it, that’s all.”
I straightened myself up in the chair to relieve the crick in my neck. “She’s headed to the observation deck. Will you check on her?”
“I can,” Conner said. “But you already know how she is. What do you feel from her?”
“Everything—anger, hurt, confusion. She’s lost. I don’t want her to be alone. She already sent me away once. I’d rather she not have to do it again.”
Conner stood. “I’ll go to her. In the meantime, you need to take care of yourself. Is everything ready for your mission this evening?”
“I want to talk to you about that.” I tossed the photo onto the table next to me. “I have a bad feeling about something. At first, I thought it might have to do with Victoria. But, the closer the mission gets, the more I think the feeling is connected to the mission rather than Victoria. I can’t be sure, though. This stuff with Victoria has me muddled. I’m having a hard time getting any clarity about it.”
Conner sat back down. “What do you mean? What do you feel?”
“A sort of hesitation or dread, like something bad is about to happen. The captain had a talk with me about the Tamanacke possibly still being around and I know your Dad has concerns about them, too. Maybe they planted a seed of paranoia, and that’s all there is to it.”
“It’s a sore subject for the two of them. Do you think they may be overreacting?”
“Maybe, but still, we need to consider it.” The timing of the mission couldn’t have been worse. I wanted to focus on Victoria, but I couldn’t leave Brian down there to die. I’d send someone else, but he knew me and trusted me. And if the Tamanacke were still around, as the mission lead, I had to be the one to take on that risk. I rubbed my temples to ease the headache that had been growing stronger by the minute. “I’m going in cloaked, just in case.”
“That’s a good idea. It doesn’t hurt to take extra precautions. Do you want me to pull a team together to accompany you?”
“No. If they can’t see me, they can’t be a threat to me, Tamanacke or not.”
“Okay, you take care of getting your cloaking suit and I’ll check on Victoria.”
Conner left me to my misery. I knew he’d look after Victoria in my exile, so, for the mission’s sake, I turned back to the universe to look for balance. After several attempts, it managed to elude me. Maybe balance wasn’t meant to be. Not at that moment. Maybe that worried edge was exactly what the universe intended me to have.
CHAPTER 86 -
VICTORIA
When I reached the relatively empty observation deck, I walked the distance to the edge of the room and stared straight out the window. I tried to find some balance in the vast universe, but all I could feel at that moment was Gaige. The dedicated “mission lead” was terribly worried. Was I just a job to him? Is that why he thought things might be over with us once I knew the truth and his mission was done? He said he loved me. Anuans were loving beings, though. Could that have been all he meant? Could I have misinterpreted Gaige’s feelings because of my mixed up emotions? Emotions! Of course. Anuan Empath. Being bombarded with all that emotional energy was another thing that made sense now. Could what I felt merely have been an effect of the damn emotional adjustments that took over my life? I didn’t know what was real and what wasn’t anymore.
“Gaige thought you’d be here.”
I looked over my shoulder and saw Conner standing behind me. I turned back to my view of space. “What are you doing here?”
“Gaige is worried about you.”
“I’m okay. No. I’m not sure if I am. I’m confused.”
“Can I help you with anything?”
“So many things make sense now. Except one—Gaige.”
“He just wants you to be okay.”
“Because it was his job?” I searched for Conner’s reflection in the window. I wanted to see his reaction, but the space-view windows offered no such property, nothing to disrupt the view. I had to occasionally touch one to prove to myself they really were present.
“His job? Oh, you mean because he led your mission?”
“Yes. Was that all his connection was to me? Looking out for me because it was part of his mission?”
Conner stepped up next to me, the two of us now side by side. “Gaige has been watching over you for years. Long before his mission to approach you, or any other kind of official duty.”
I glanced at Conner, not quite sure what he was talking about. “Why?”
“He was drawn to you.”
“But he didn’t even know me.”
“Actually, he did. My dad and Gaige’s dad were best friends long before they were married or had any children. They and their families have always spent time together. Including you, Victoria.”
I turned to face Conner. “But I’ve been on Earth.”
“Not always. Not when you were little. You used to visit the ship with your mom during our missions to the area.”
“I did?” I remembered how connected I’d felt to this place from the very beginning of my stay. “Yes. I did. That makes sense.” Realizing I’d already been a part of this world once, I felt its loss as if it had just been taken away. But that was only an echo of a time staunched by circumstances. I could have it back now, if I chose to. “Tell me more.”
“You were barely a toddler. I suppose young enough not to be confused by it all. I don’t remember your visits, being only a baby myself. But Gaige was old enough to remember you. Dad says Gaige used to follow you around to make sure you didn’t fall or run into something and hurt yourself. Gaige already felt a connection to you then. Not the same as now, of course. But something. It stayed with him all these years.”
“Gaige has always been overprotective, then.” I laughed, thinking of a mini-Gaige being as protective of me when I was young as he had been with me lately. The magnitude of what Conner said soaked in and I swallowed the laugh. “All these years, he’s waited for this time? For me to be here? To find out exactly what that connection would mean for us as adults?”
“All these years.”
“That makes his hesitation all the more confusing. If there was a connection even as children, why would he doubt what we have now? Or what I think we have. Thought we had.”
“He has his reasons to be cautious, and they make sense. You should talk to him about it. And when you talk to him, remember, you have potential you can’t even comprehend. Use it. Set your fears and your doubts aside and find the truth about this situation for yourself.”
I knew what Conner meant. It was the same quest Gaige had sent me on when I’d first met him. Find the truth. My intuition would know. Once I understood Gaige’s concerns, I’d sort everything out. I’d go searching for the truth and know for sure.
“Will you tell Gaige he can stop by my room this evening to talk?” I felt Gaige’s worry ease a little. “Never mind. He already knows.”
“Yes, I suppose he does. I’ll give you some time.” Conner started walking back to the center of the room where the ibbs was located.
My life no longer looked the same in so many ways. With knowledge of my heritage, I realized Gaige and that place were only parts of the new picture. The other parts all rushed at me and I ran to catch up with Conner. “Conner, wait!”
He stopped and turned back, quicker than I’d expected. He had to put his hands out to keep me from running into him.
“Sorry.” I took a step back. “Can you help me with something?”
“Sure. What is it?”
“I’m Anuan and I have family on this ship. You. You are my family. And Tas. I want to meet Tas. Will you take me to meet him?”
A warm smile creased the soft, little crow’s feet back into the edges of his eyes
. “He would love that.”
CHAPTER 87 -
GAIGE
After briefing the team about the Tamanacke suspicions, I arrived at Engineering to pick out a cloaking outfit for the mission that evening. Victoria had taken the news about who she was as well as could be expected and had agreed to talk with me. I hoped taking extra precautions for the mission would put the other potentially precarious situation on a positive path, too, and the uneasy feeling plaguing me would settle.
When I walked into Engineering, Kearon held a black, mesh cloaking suit out in front of her. “Try this one on Gaige. It should fit.”
I pushed my shoes off and looked the suit over, front and back. It seemed about the right size. After smoothing down the legs of my flight suit so they wouldn’t bunch up, I stepped into the outfit. The boots gripped my feet and calves snugly, but left enough room to wiggle my toes. I put my arms into the gloved sleeves and bent my elbows to make sure I had enough length in the arms to maneuver. I did. Kearon helped with the intricate double closures at the front of the suit. When everything was connected securely, the suit fit well. Kearon had picked the perfect size.
“Now the hood,” she said. “We don’t want you to be a floating head.”
I pulled the hood on. The rough metallic mesh scraped across my face.
“Can you see all right?” she asked.
“The room looks darker through the suit, but I can see well enough to get around.”
“Great. Let’s test it.” Before starting, she ran a scanner over the entire suit to make sure the integrity was solid. “Okay, Gaige, I’m going to turn it on now. We’ll be monitoring for any stresses to your body. If things get uncomfortable, we’ll know and we’ll stop the test. You don’t have to worry about trying to tell us.”
“Got it,” I said.
A quick vibration surged through the suit, sending a prickly tingle through my body. The vibration dissipated. The noticeable, but tolerable, tingling remained.
Kearon circled me, checking her readouts, and then shut the cloaking suit down. “We didn’t see a trace of you, Gaige. And your medical values stayed within range. How do you feel?”
I pulled the hood from my head, slowly enough not to take skin with it. “I feel fine. The usual tingles, that’s it.”
“Stop by here this evening and I’ll make sure you’re sealed up tight before your transition.”
I thanked Kearon and left Engineering, looking forward to seeing Victoria before my mission. Arranging for the cloaking suit hadn’t lessened my uneasy feeling. With extra precautions taken for the mission, could the feelings be about Victoria? Maybe the conversation with her wasn’t going to go as I hoped it would.
CHAPTER 88 -
TAS
“Tas, your pacing is going to wear a hole in the floor,” Bec said.
“I know. I can’t help it. What if she can’t forgive me for leaving her behind?” I took another pass by the door, waiting for Conner and Victoria to arrive.
Bec stepped in my path and placed her hands on the sides of my face. Standing on tiptoes, she drew my head down to her and kissed my forehead. “You didn’t leave her behind. It was her home and had been for years. It was all she knew.”
“Still, we should have taken her. She’d have adjusted.”
“Tas, you’re not being reasonable. It would have been an incredible shock on top of everything she’d already been through. Victoria will understand that.”
The door turned transparent with Conner and Victoria waiting to enter. Bec took my hand. “It’ll be fine,” she whispered. “Let them in.”
“Allow,” I said.
The door slid open. Victoria stood before me with her father’s eyes, but her mother’s face—like I was looking at a ghost. I stepped back. Bec squeezed my hand and I pulled from her calm energy for emotional balance.
“Come in.” I moved aside so they could enter.
Releasing my hand, Bec stepped away to give us room.
Victoria stopped in front of me and stared into my face. She tilted her head one way then the other. “I can see the resemblance.”
“As can I.”
She smiled and reached for me with outstretched arms. I embraced her and never wanted to let her go. She was finally home.
“I’m not upset at you for leaving me on Earth. You don’t have to worry about that anymore. I know you all had my best interests at heart.”
She released her hold and I let go of my guilt, feeling lighter than I had in years.
“Can you tell me about my mother?” she asked.
“Yes, whatever you want to know.”
“Please, come, sit,” Bec said, holding her arm out toward our gathering space.
We sat and talked for a long while. Victoria had so many questions and I answered them all. I tried to comfort her by sharing that her mother would never really be gone. She understood. She’d felt her presence, too.
“Do you have any more pictures of my mother?” she asked.
“We have better than that. We have virtual image streams.” I ordered up a family stream and the transparent scene filled the room. “This is the stream from which we made the photograph. It was taken during the party we gave your mother before she left for her Peacewalker mission.”
The stream showed me and Bec, Daigon and Sena, and Gaige as a boy. In the middle of everyone was my beautiful sister, Tessy. We were all speaking Anuan. I saw the disappointment in Victoria’s face when she couldn’t understand what her mother was saying. Then my image began to speak in English and Victoria’s face lit up.
“You’d better practice your English, Tessy. You don’t want to stand out.”
“Yes, big brother,” she said, patting my cheek. “Don’t worry so much. I’ll be fine. And I’ll be back home before you know it.”
“I’ll see to that,” I said, filling my plate with more food. “But there’s no reason to ask for trouble.”
Little Gaige ran in circles, chasing a friend, then veered back to our group. “Tessy, will you bring me a souvenir from Earth?”
She took his small chin in her hand. “How could I say no to that sweet face? Of course I will.”
Daigon messed Gaige’s hair. “You spoil that boy, Tessy.”
“He deserves it. He’s a sweetheart.” Tessy gave Gaige a wink.
Gaige jumped into her arms. “I’ll miss you Tessy.”
Victoria sat, absorbed in the stream with only the slightest smile on her face. But her eyes sparkled with pure joy. “It’s like I was right there with her. She was so full of life, so happy. And Gaige. He knew her well?”
“Yes, he did.” I said. “He’d known Tessy all his life. Daigon was right; she spoiled him rotten. She adored him and he adored her.”
“She never came back from that trip, did she?” Tears formed in Victoria’s eyes. She fought to keep them from rolling past her lashes.
Bec handed me a tissue and I passed it to Victoria. “No. That’s the trip in which she met your father. Earth became her home then.”
“Thank you.” Victoria took the tissue and dabbed her eyes. “It’s not your fault, you know. It was her choice.”
“I tried to talk her out of staying. She was strong-willed and very determined. She’d made up her mind and that was that.”
“They were happy together. She had to follow her heart. That’s hard to fight.” Victoria looked down into her lap. “Thank you for all this. I need to go now.”
I knew her mind had drifted to Gaige. She had to resolve where things stood with him now. I showed her how to retrieve the virtual streams so she could watch them any time she wanted. We said our goodbyes with words and hugs. She was definitely her mother’s daughter, and I was thrilled to finally have her with us.
CHAPTER 89 -
VICTORIA
I stopped outside my quarters and drew in a deep breath. With it, I willed the energy of my Anuan people to strengthen me. I felt empowered. Life finally made sense.
When I stepped up to th
e door, it opened to my old Earth bedroom, which seemed out of place now. There was a time it had provided comfort. I didn’t need that anymore. I didn’t need to feel at home. I was home.
I meandered around the room, dragging my fingers along the rough drywall, tracing the smooth finish of the mahogany headboard, squeezing my fists into the thick comforter, and smelling its familiar scent—saying goodbye to it all.
Out the window, my dormant Ohio yard remained locked in winter. Now, I’d keep it frozen in my memory instead—where it belonged. I no longer needed that anchor. As soon as could be arranged, I wanted an Anuan room with an Anuan view of the stars. My future lay there now, somewhere out in the vast wilderness of space. I wanted to give my Earth family a proper goodbye and visit when we returned for missions. I looked forward to that. I’d miss them. But my place was with my other family now and I wanted to step into that Anuan heritage as soon as I could.
As I told my old world goodbye, I noticed the pink lump lying on the floor of my bathroom. I walked in and hung the ship suit neatly back on its hook. It was part of my new world and I was okay with that now.
I stacked my pillows against the headboard and settled myself onto the bed. Sinking back into the pillows, I summoned one of the virtual streams of my mother. She appeared in my room, so beautiful, so alive. I relived those moments with her, and then called up another stream, and another. There were so many, it would take me weeks, maybe months, to get through them all. I especially liked the ones that included Gaige. He and my mother seemed so close. Her death must have been difficult for him, too.
So engrossed in every scene and every word of the streams, I jumped when Gaige arrived. I shut off the images and watched him for a moment through the transparent door, knowing he couldn’t see me. He looked so handsome in his flight suit, but I didn’t want to leave him waiting another minute. He’d already been waiting long enough—we both had. So, I walked to the door and told it to open.
The Anuan Legacy: Book 1 of The Anuan Legacy Series Page 24
