They also said no to my pitch for most people playing croquet simultaneously, although they have many such records, from most people playing Twister to most people wearing Groucho Marx fake glasses and noses at the same time. You just never know what will impress that fickle bunch. Still, there are some generalizations you should keep in mind.
TIPS FOR NEW RECORD APPROVAL:
Read recent editions of the book and note the new records. This probably means they were just approved for the first time, so looking at a bunch will give you a feeling for what the editors like.
Think of variations on existing records. Throwing, pulling, lifting, or balancing new things has worked many, many times. Bricks, beer kegs, other people, and cars are all popular things to lift or put on your head. So maybe you can try something new but colorful. Alternatively, you can change the method rather than the item: people push cars, pull them, pull them with their eyelids, with their beards, or with hooks attached through their skin, move them all sorts of ways. Variations do not have to be this dramatic; they can be as simple as doing something backward, upside down, or underwater. Even my poker record, while new, was essentially a variation on many other marathons, from card playing to really long games of Monopoly.
Try group records. The book gives a lot of latitude to mass participation records, from people drinking tea together to huge group head shavings to chains of bras. Then again, this was my croquet logic.
Do it for charity. This is especially true for group records.
Do it first. Firsts are a whole special class of records and, among record aficionados, considered the best because they can never be surpassed. However, the book is fickle about its firsts, and on its website gives examples of good and bad firsts. Good ones are “absolute,” and have fewer qualifiers. First woman on the moon is still up for grabs and would be accepted. First woman from Singapore on the moon would not. Likewise, they usually will not split hairs, and while they have categories for various first flights (transatlantic, transpacific, around the world) by various types of aircraft (plane, hot air balloon) they state that they will not accept variations by class or type of plane, for example. In general, they like firsts of lasting historical significance: Mount Everest, yes, Mount In Your Backyard, no.
Avoid the no-nos. While they cannot be assumed to be absolutes, there are certain types of records Guinness has stated it does not accept. These include age-based records with a few exceptions. They do maintain youngest and oldest categories for such feats as running marathons and climbing Everest, but not for doing push-ups. Certainly no–ests by a certain age, like fastest mile by a teenager. Likewise, for the most part, they do not accept nationality-based claims, and they absolutely do not like ones defined by race or religion. They do not accept heaviest or lightest pet records, and in the pet record categories that are acceptable, they do not differentiate by breed. They do not accept speed records involving motorized vehicles on public roads, Cannonball Run–style. And due to an especially bad experience, they do not accept any chain letter records, whether by mail or e-mail.
So if getting into Guinness is your goal, choose from Plan A, B, or C above, and good luck. Having multiple ideas will better your odds, and you might as well submit them all at once, rather than waiting to hear. Patience is also a virtue as GWR is often very slow to respond. When you get approval and are ready to go, follow Ashrita’s advice and fire off a fax (they won’t read e-mails) to verify that the record threshold has not changed in the interim. If and when you do make it to the finish line and become a Guinness World Record holder, your first question will likely be, “So, will I be in the book?”
The sad answer is probably not. Only about 8 percent of the officially recognized records get into print, or less than one in ten. This meager selection is based on editorial judgment of entertainment value and variety, and very hard to predict. More outlandish records, especially those with equally outlandish photographs, seem more likely to be published. Records that are already in the book are more likely to be continued once broken. About 20 percent of the content turns over annually, so a record may appear once, as my poker marathon record did in 2006, and then disappear, despite not having been broken. It takes hard work, talent, and dedication to set or break a record. It takes a lot of luck to see it in print. The easiest way to statistically ensure that you will see your name in print is to break or set about ten records.
Appendix 4
A RECORD-BREAKING TIMELINE
1759: Arthur Guinness starts making stout at the St. James Gate brewery in Dublin. He later signs a 9,000-year lease on the property. By the end of the nineteenth century, Arthur Guinness & Sons is the world’s largest brewery.
September 1954: Sir Hugh Beaver, KBE, managing director of Arthur Guinness & Sons goes bird hunting in County Wexford, Ireland, leading to an argument over which bird is faster, the grouse or the golden plover. His inability to answer this question leads to the creation of the Guinness Book of Records.
May 1955: Sir Beaver hosts twin brothers Norris and Ross McWhirter at a lunch meeting at the company’s London headquarters, where he commissions them to start a new company, Superlatives Ltd., and create a record book for the brewery.
August 27, 1955: The first-ever copy of The Guinness Book of Records is published by Guinness Superlatives Ltd., Ludgate House, Fleet Street, London.
1956: David Boehm, founder of Sterling Publishing, buys U.S. rights to the book, which he renames Guinness Book of World Records.
1960: Sir Hugh Beaver retires.
1962: Boehm licenses paperback rights to Bantam, which publishes the first paperback edition of Guinness Book of World Records, which sells more than 50 million copies.
April 1970: The first U.S. television special based on the book airs. This one-hour show is sponsored by AT&T and hosted by comedian Flip Wilson.
1972: Record Breakers television show is launched on the British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC). It will run in prime time for more than thirty years.
1973: Guinness PLC signs updated contracts with Sterling Publishing and Bantam extending their rights through 2016. Sterling partners with host Sir David Frost and 20th Century Fox to produce six prime-time specials, along with twenty-four game show episodes, based on the Guinness book.
1975: Ross McWhirter is assassinated at his home by Irish Republican Army gunmen after organizing an effort to stop terrorist bombings. Newsweek claims that after twenty years the Guinness Book of World Records “has set a record as the largest selling book—after the Bible: 26.3 million copies.”
1979: Ashrita Furman sets his first Guinness World Record by doing 27,000 jumping jacks. He goes on to set and hold more than anyone in history.
1985: Norris McWhirter retires as editor of the book after thirty years.
1989: Boehm and Sterling sell the rights to the U.S. edition back to Guinness for $8 million.
1995: Guinness Publishing lures executive Chris Irwin away from the BBC and names him managing director. After he arrives to find records stored in forty-two filing cabinets with no database, Irwin tells the Wall Street Journal that “the book had become ossified,” and “The place was a time warp. A lady would come though the office with a tea trolley.” From the late 1970s until the mid-1990s, sales of the book had been falling steadily by about 5 percent a year. Nearly forty employees are eliminated or replaced, a new editorial team brought on board, and the headquarters is relocated from the suburbs to downtown London. Irwin says, “It wasn’t the easiest transition. We feel that we have one of the world’s great brands, but it had got stuck.” Guinness Publishing sells two museums and rights to operate and open seven more future locations to Ripley’s Entertainment.
1996: The annual edition features an extensive redesign, with greatly increased emphasis on color photographs. Categories were updated and modernized and more celebrity elements appear.
1997: Guinness PLC and rival Grand Met combine in a $22 billion merger forming Diageo, with a strategy to become a p
ure wine and spirits company by divesting unrelated businesses. Positioning it for sale, the record book gets a name change. “We’re called Guinness World Records now,” says Alistair Richards, chief operating officer. “Diageo wanted a name to be one that had the least chance of confusion with their Guinness brand. Therefore they wanted the word ‘Guinness’ to be as close to the words ‘world records’ as possible. To the man in the street that probably doesn’t make much sense. But to a lot of businesspeople and lawyers at the time it was terribly important.”
1995–98: Following the organizational changes and revamp of the book, sales triple. Success is greatest in the United States, where sales had declined from 1.4 million in the mid-1970s to 408,000 in 1995 before climbing to 1.3 million by 1998. Projections in 1999 are for the book to sell 2.4 million copies in English and 1.3 million in other languages all in hardcover, plus another 900,000 in paperback in the United States.
1998: Guinness World Records: Primetime debuts on FOX in the United States.
1999: Guinness World Records: Primetime is replicated in Britain, Germany, and Scandinavia. A new breed of Guinness World Records museum opens in Orlando, operated under license by Ripley’s Entertainment with an emphasis on interactive exhibits. The official target reader switches from ten-to fifteen-year-olds to seven-to fifteen-year-old boys.
July 1, 1999: Guinness Publishing, a branch of Diageo PLC, officially changes its name to Guinness World Records Ltd. The company decides to move away from publishing numerous ancillary titles such as The Guinness Book of Military Blunders and the Ultimate Joke Encyclopedia.
2000: Diageo sells Pillsbury to General Mills.
2001: Diageo sells Guinness World Records Ltd. to Gullane Entertainment for £45.5 million. Gullane is a leading English children’s entertainment company that owns such valuable brands as Thomas the Tank Engine. The book of records, aimed at young adolescents, seems to fit the company’s niche, but some analysts believe Gullane overpaid for the record-related properties.
2002: Following financial struggles subsequent to its acquisition of the book, Gullane is acquired by rival entertainment company HIT Entertainment. HIT’s original offer is £225 million, but when Gullane posts lower than expected earnings for 2001–02, the sale price is lowered to £139 million. HIT, which owns Bob the Builder and Barney the Dinosaur, quickly puts the Guinness World Records Ltd. piece of its Gullane purchase up for sale, but after receiving some respectable bids, changes its mind and keeps the company, believing its business has great potential for improvement and forecasting that profits can be doubled in two to three years. In the same year, Diageo continues its strategy by selling fast-food chain Burger King.
2003: Diageo acquires liquor giant Seagrams.
April 19, 2004: Norris McWhirter dies while playing tennis.
November 2004: 100 millionth copy of Guinness book is sold.
2005: HIT is taken private by Sunshine Acquisitions, a private holding company that in turn is part of large U.S. venture capitalist Apax Partners, the de facto owners of the Guinness World Records properties. In London, Diageo closes the Park Royal Brewery, where the book was born, and relocates operations to St. James Gate in Dublin, still in the infancy of the 9,000-year lease signed by Sir Arthur Guinness in 1759.
November 9, 2005: The first annual Guinness World Records Day is held.
December 2007: London’s Times reports that Guinness World Records is once again up for sale, at an asking price of £60 million.
January 2008: Guinness World Records Ltd. launches a companion site exclusively for video and computer gaming records, www.gwrgamersedition.com.
February 2008: Guinness World Records Ltd. is purchased by Jim Pattison Group, a privately-held Canadian company that also owns longtime Guinness rival Ripley’s Entertainment. Reuter’s estimates the reported purchase price at $118 million.
Acknowledgments
There are many people without whom this book would have been impossible to write, and many more without whom it would have been so much more difficult. Like an Academy Award recipient, I don’t have time to thank them all before the music starts playing to rush me off the stage, but I will do my best to hurry through without insulting anyone.
First and foremost, my lovely wife, Allison, who for years has been subjected to my repeated absences as my work takes me to all corners of the globe, and who has long been the one who has to fret while I put myself though sometimes dangerous stunts. Also on the home front, a shout out to Armstrong, Stretch, and the puppy Sundance, who spent much of his youth under, next to, or on my office chair while I wrote this book. They may never have mastered holding five tennis balls in their mouths simultaneously, but if Guinness ever adds a record for best-looking golden retriever in history, it would be a three-way tie.
My life has been made much easier—and far more entertaining—by virtue of all the experts and record holders who generously took the time out to discuss their exploits, obsessions, and madness with me, including but not limited to Ashrita Furman, Jackie “the Texas Snakeman” Bibby, Sir Richard Branson, Ben Sherwood, Jake Halpern, Greg Childs, Ken Jennings, Jez Edwards, Terence Brennan, Michael Roberts, Mark Frary, Nobby Orens, and Jason Daley.
Kudos to the great nation of Australia, which not only provided the fodder for so many of the funny stories herein but also hosted my first record bid and continues to prove on a daily basis that life can and should be fun. I’ll be back.
My own record setting, health, and sanity would probably not be what it is today without the unparalleled support of a group of friends who quite literally got me through my darkest hours, including Joe Feeney, Tony Matos, Dave McGrath, and anyone else I forgot in my mindless stupor, all led by the unbeatable dream team of Matt Rosenthal, Joe Kresse, and Naim “JP” Peress.
I cannot imagine a writer, no matter how lofty his or her reputation, who wouldn’t want to be in my shoes when it comes to representation. When it comes to agents, Jill Kneerim is to the profession what Ashrita Furman is to setting Guinness World Records: if she says it can be done, she does it. And her house is cheaper than an airport hotel.
One last group that I cannot overlook: all the folks, friends and strangers alike, whom I have mentioned this project to over the past two years. The unanimous enthusiasm of your reactions has been the secret ingredient behind my inspiration, a constant reminder that this was a good and worthwhile idea, and that you really do want to hear this story. Major career undertakings, no matter how promising, are always accompanied by some self-doubt. Your passion for this project erased my worries. And if every one of you does what you said and buys a copy, I will be in good shape.
Finally, I cannot forget Sir Hugh Beaver, Norris McWhirter, and Ross McWhirter, the three men who, for the best reasons and with the noblest intentions, brought the Guinness Book of Records into the world without the slightest inkling that they were changing publishing history and the course of contemporary human events. Okay, so in doing so they may also have created exploitation talk shows and reality TV, but don’t blame them—they didn’t mean to. They just wanted what we all want: answers.
Endnotes
Adrian Hilton recited the Complete Works of Shakespeare: Investor’s Business Daily, Mar. 30, 2007.
CHAPTER 1 MEET ASHRITA, RECORD BREAKER FOR GOD
Just for the Record: www.ashrita.com.
second most widely read book: Oregonian, Nov. 18, 1990, T6.
“People magazine called me”: New York Times, June 12, 2003, 1.
“Ashrita is by far”: New York Times, June 12, 2003, 1.
As of Jan. 2008: www.ashrita.com.
Russian weight lifter: New York Times, June 12, 2003, 1.
To match Alekseyev’s: www.ashrita.com.
“bookwormish”: New York Times, May 11, 1988, 16.
“I had this fascination about the book”: Christian Science Monitor, Dec. 22, 2000, 12.
According to his official biography, Chinmoy…: www.srichinmoy.org.
Chinmo
y had a colorful athletic past of his own (feats): www.srichinmoy.org.
World Harmony Run: www.worldharmonyrun.org.
At 5'10" and 165 pounds: Christian Science Monitor, Dec. 22, 2000, 12.
“In pursuit of excellence, sort of”: Globe and Mail, Jan. 18, 1986, A6.
The “King of World Records”: Toronto Star, June 27, 1990, A6.
Guinness’s “King Of Strange Feats”: New York Times, June 12, 2003, 1.
“Mr. Versatility”: Christian Science Monitor, Dec. 22, 2000, 12.
James Carville to tell him, “You’re not crazy”: Washington Post, Nov. 3, 1995, F1.
Empire State Building, World Trade Center, and Eiffel Tower turning down his request: Toronto Sun, June 24, 2001, 22.
According to the New York Times: New York Times, June 12, 2003, B1
His Website refers to him as “Suresh Joachim”: www.sureshjoachim.org.
Almost very nearly impossible.”: Greg Childs, former Record Breakers producer for BBC.
CHAPTER 2 THE GREATEST RECORD OF ALL: BIRDS, BEAVER, BEER, AND SIR HUGH’S IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION
“The next best thing”: Dr. Laurence J. Peter, Peter's Quotations (New York: Bantam/William Morrow, 1977), xiii.
The original edition has an introduction by the chairman of Arthur Guinness & Co: Independent (London), Oct. 29, 2004, 37.
“all started by a mouse”: The Quotable Walt Disney (New York: Disney Editions, 2001).
“America’s crime rate”: Ken Jennings, Brainiac: Adventures in the Curious, Competitive, Compulsive World of Trivia Buffs (New York: Villard, 2006), 74.
Hugh Beaver moved around: Collection of Personal Records of Sir Hugh Beaver at British Library of Political and Economic Science, London School of Economics.
In addition to running the world’s largest brewery: Ibid.
According to his 1967 obituary: Guinness Time (no copyright), vol. 20, no. 2, Spring 1967.
Getting into Guinness Page 28
