Secret Society

by Robin Roseau

  "Oh, that's much better. Thank you, Mrs. Franklin."

  "We're here to help," the woman replied.

  Sylvia looked back at me and smiled. "Do you prefer deep fried or sautéed?"

  "This sounds like a Gin Roberson novel."

  She arched an eyebrow. "So you have heard of me."

  "Damn it," Claudine muttered. "Now you've fed her ego for hours." But she offered a smile, so I decided she was teasing. "Please don't ask her to autograph one of her books."

  I stared at the author sitting across the table from me. "I'm fairly certain that makes you more than an up and comer."

  "I'm no Nora Roberts," she replied immediately. "And my mother refuses to read my books."

  Claudine piped in, "That's because in the first one, what was it you did to her?"

  "Flesh-eating virus."

  "Oh, I read that one. That was your mother?"

  "It was her own fault," Sylvia said. "I told her I was writing a novel, and she told me to make sure she was in it. All my victims are someone from my real life."

  "So, that guy who got slowly fed into the tank of piranhas?"

  "Ex-lover. He wasn't happy about that. Boy, did I get a voice mail diatribe over that."

  "And the girl -- that was so gross."

  "Which one?" she asked. "All my murders are gross."

  "The one you encased in concrete."

  "I didn't completely encase her," Sylvia said. "She could breathe." She smiled. "Did you like the way I described the molasses."

  "It wasn't the molasses you poured over her that grossed me out," I said. "It was what came to clean up the molasses that made my skin crawl for a week."

  "Ah," Sylvia said, buffing her fingernails. "Mission accomplished."

  "Who was she?"

  "Oh, the girl. Ex-girlfriend. Well, she wasn't an ex until she read what I'd done to her. For some reason, that bothered her."

  "That's because you bought a gallon of molasses and left it on the counter for her to find," Claudine replied. "I think she thought it was a threat."

  "Pshaw. It was just a joke."

  "Are you really going to put Claudine and me into a book?"

  She smiled. "Probably not, but you never know. I have a long list of victims sitting ahead of you."

  "Why do I have to be the victim? What if I want to be the killer and Claudine is the victim?"

  "If you give me your dessert later, I'll think about it."

  The main course arrived and was eventually finished. Servants cleared the table, and then delivered dessert.

  I didn't give it to either woman. It was delicious.

  Twenty minutes later found all of us back in the parlor. I found myself engrossed in a continued conversation with Claudine, Sylvia, and a mid-30s woman named Liah Cross. Liah, I learned, worked for the senator, but much to my chagrin, I again found myself the center of attention.

  It started subtly. Claudine asked Liah about her horses. Liah spoke briefly then asked me if I expected to begin making use of my stable.

  "I've never been riding," I said. "I never had the bug."

  "You should come with us sometime," Liah offered. "We load up the trailer and go for day rides out in the country. I know some people." She smiled. "Do you believe you've settled in?"

  After that, the three of them kept me talking. It wasn't until a half hour later, when I felt entirely wrung out, that I realized we were the only women in the parlor. The rest had left, a few at a time. Even our host was gone.

  "Oh my god," I said. "Were we supposed to leave?"

  The three of them laughed. "No. They're off plotting."

  "Plotting? What? World domination?"

  "Probably," Liah said with a laugh. "Although a practical joke is far more likely."

  I looked around. "And which of the four of us is the likely victim of this joke." I turned to Sylvia.

  "Don't look at me. I only victimize people in my books. I leave the practical joking to others."

  "I'm sure it's you," Claudine said. "You're the new girl."

  "Really, where did they go? Were we supposed to go with them?"

  "We told you. They're plotting world domination," Liah said.

  "Or a really good practical joke," Claudine suggested. "I find that more likely, seeing as how they told us to keep you distracted."

  "Oh god," I said again. "Should I make my escape?"

  "If they're planning a good joke," Sylvia said.

  "Or planning to embroil you in their plans for world domination," Liah added.

  "Probably as the sap who takes the fall," Claudine suggested.

  "Then you really don't think the valets will give you your car, do you?" Sylvia said.

  "Or, for that matter, the maid your coat," Claudine added.

  "You may as well accept the inevitable," Liah suggested. "Would you like another glass of wine?" She smiled sweetly.

  "No, thank you," I said. "I think I want a clear head when I'm framed for- Um. What will I be framed for?"

  "Oh, probably something horrid," Liah suggested.

  "Something I'd use in one of my books," Sylvia added. "You really should have given me your dessert."

  "You said the dessert was a bribe so I could be the killer. I didn't give you the dessert, so I can't be the killer."

  "It's not really much more fun being the victim, either," Liah suggested. "I got cheated."

  "Oh?"

  "She wrote me into one of her books, but then she edited me right back out again."

  "That's because you took care of me when I got so sick," Sylvia said. "I just couldn't flay your skin with a sand grinder after that."

  "Eww!" I said. "Seriously?"

  She smiled. "I do love a good 'eww'."

  "Is that what you were going to do to me?" Liah asked.

  "Well, I thought about a simple bathtub drowning, but that's just so overdone."

  I shook my head. "If you kill me off, make it good."

  "Oh, don't worry. I will."

  "So, seriously. Where did everyone else go?"

  "We told you," Claudine said. "We're supposed to keep you here. If you try to leave, we get to use force."

  "Which sounds like fun," Sylvia said. "Although we're not really dressed for it."

  I looked between them. "I can't tell when any of you are serious."

  "Good," said Liah. "Don't worry. It shouldn't be too much longer. With that many of them, even the most convoluted practical joke can't take too long to engineer."

  "I'm pretty certain I don't have to worry about any practical jokes."

  "Don't be so sure. Mrs. Franklin has a wicked sense of humor."

  "You did hear what she said about a red wine reduction sauce," Sylvia pointed out.

  "And maybe Mary Ellen is a little more worked up about that business than I let on," Claudine suggested. "If you see video cameras, you can bet that's for a little anti-advertising for you. Maybe they're going to give Guerrilla Girl to a Gorilla."

  "You know I haven't killed anyone by great ape yet," Sylvia said, staring off into space. "I wonder..."

  "You know, I think I need to use the ladies' room." I turned to go, but Liah grabbed one arm and Claudine the other.

  "We've been teasing about almost everything," Liah said gently. "Except the part about keeping you here."

  "And using force to do it," Sylvia said with a smile.

  "Seriously?"

  "Just this once," Liah said. "Yes."

  "What if I really did need to use the ladies'?"

  "You don't," Claudine said. "You went earlier."

  "Maybe I only washed."

  "Do you really need to go?" Liah asked. "Answer honestly."

  I sighed. "No." And then I grinned and laid my head on her shoulder. "I knew you liked me."

  Sylvia snorted.

  They didn't let me go after that, which I thought was odd. But we continued to tease each other, and that involved a lot of good-natured flirting. But then Liah's purse buzzed. She had to release my arm to
check it, but Sylvia slipped to my side and grabbed my arm with a grin.

  "Seriously?"

  "Just in case. I think you could take Claudine if you gave it a good try."

  "We can go now," Liah said.

  "So whatever fate is about to befall me has been set into motion?" I asked.

  "I can't comment on that," Liah said. "But we're supposed to deliver you to your fate, so possibly."

  I stared into her face. "You guys aren't kidding."

  "No."

  I tugged on my arms, but Sylvia and Claudine held me tightly. "Seriously?"

  "Relax," Liah said. She gestured at my arms. "This is just in fun."

  "So if I asked them to let me go?"

  "They'd let you go," Liah said. "But then you wouldn't find out what's going on. And you really want to find out, don't you?"

  "Do I?"

  "Yes, Blythe," Claudine said. "You do."

  "Is someone going to pour blood on me or something? This was Grandmother Cadences gown. I wouldn't want it ruined."

  "Then you probably don't want to ask us to let go," Sylvia said. "Because they couldn't get you without getting me, and they know what would happen if they ruined this dress."

  I laughed. "I don't think you know what would happen."

  "Perhaps not the details," she said. "But they have a way of working out. But I'd make them all look positively ridiculous."

  "Don't worry," Claudine said. "The dress is safe."

  "All right then."

  And so they turned me around, and with Liah stepping ahead to open doors, we made our way through the house then down a staircase into the basement. My nervousness increased, although the basement was a lot nicer than the one in my house. I looked around and wondered what it would cost. Grandmother Cadence had never done much with the basement, and it was rather dark and utilitarian.

  We came to a stop before a double door. Liah knocked twice, and a moment later, the doors opened from the inside. Before Sylvia and Claudine began to pull me forward, I got a good look at everyone waiting.

  There was a stool waiting for me. I thought it looked familiar. Arranged in a half arc on the opposite side of the stool were all the women from tonight, excluding my escort of three. Mrs. Grafton, Mrs. Staffer, and Mrs. Franklin were seated on quite comfortable chairs immediately in front of the stool. Other women could be found on a pair of loveseats flanking those three, everyone else was either seated on a chair behind them, looking over their shoulders, or else standing.

  The room was dark, with plush carpet and dark paneled walls. There wasn't a single electric light lit, but instead the entire room was lit by a mix of candles and oil lamps.

  I had just enough time to take all this in before Liah stepped forward. Then Sylvia and Claudine pulled me forward and led me to the stool.

  "Did she try to leave?" Mrs. Franklin asked.

  "No," Liah said. "But we've been teasing her for fifteen minutes. This was part of it."

  "Ah. Of course. So have you scared her half out of her mind?"

  "Only half," Sylvia said. "Pity."

  She shook her head. "Only fifteen minutes?"

  "About that," Liah said. "That was when she realized we were alone. She's not very observant."

  "Maybe I just find your eyes that entrancing," I replied.

  That generated laughter.

  "She doesn't seem too frightened," Mrs. Franklin said. "Very good. Please sit, Ms. Todd. I assure you, we have nothing nefarious planned tonight."

  "Tomorrow though," Sylvia said into my ear. "Watch out tomorrow." Then she and Claudine helped me to the stool before my escorts took their places in the back row to my left. I looked around nervously.

  "Very good," said Mrs. Franklin. "Do you know why we are here?"

  "The girls offered a variety of suggestions," I replied. "I find the list unlikely."

  "I don't even need to hear the list to agree with you. Do you care to hazard any guesses?"

  "Am I being hazed?"

  She raised an eyebrow.

  "Oh god," I said. "I am?"

  She smiled. "Not yet. Maybe later. Let us be serious for a moment. Do you have any idea what's going on?"

  "No. I could make random guesses, but no."

  "Your grandmother never told you about us?"

  I cocked my head. "Of course she did. Well, not all of you. But I've met most of you, some of you fairly often, whenever I'd help Grandmother Cadence with one of her events."

  "Ah. Very good," said Mrs. Franklin. "I want you to look around this room. I want you to recall what you know about the women facing you. Go ahead. Take your time."

  And so I looked around again.

  "Do you remember all of us?" Mrs. Franklin asked.

  "I'm not sure," I said. "I think so." I turned to Ms. Hankins. "Claudia suggested I ask you about the Halfport Mall." That was the mall whose business I had won the previous spring.

  Ms. Hankins laughed. "Well done," she said.

  "You're not mad?"

  "We don't walk away from business," she said. "But if we can't beat a one-woman shop with the unlikely name of Guerrilla Girl, either she is very good, or we don't deserve the business. And that's what I told my people when we lost the bid. And from what I can tell, you did a better job than we would have, given their budget."

  I inclined my head. "Thank you for saying that."

  "I'm not just saying that. I've been watching you since you returned from Portland. I talked to your grandmother about hiring you, but she asked me to wait. And then you formed your company. This is a good fit for you. In the future, we can work together. You're very good at your niche. You're not very good in ours."

  "I've thought about approaching a larger firm at those times," I said. "But if my previous experience is accurate, most of my clients couldn't afford your services. Well, and not have anything left to pay me."

  "Well, next time, come see me. A little consulting could go a long way for you."

  I nodded. "Thank you. I bet this isn't why we're here."

  She smiled. "No, but I'm glad we had this opportunity. Who else is in the room?"

  So I looked around. "You weren't introduced properly, Madam Mayor."

  The woman in question smiled. "And yet, you know who I am. I presume someone told you." She turned to look at Claudia. "That was someone's assignment, after all."

  "Which she performed admirably," I said. And so I looked around further, identifying the people in the room and saying something about what they did. Then I turned back to Mrs. Franklin. "But that doesn't tell me what I'm doing here. I don't belong in this room."

  "It is good you recognize that, although you're mistaken. I believe the good author told you why you're here. You're an up and comer. And she is absolutely right."

  I opened my mouth to protest, but she held up a hand. "Please do not engage in modesty just now. We are busy women."

  I nodded.

  "Look around once more," she said. "I want you to think about what your life could be like if you angered the people in this room."

  I had started to look around but then at those words my gaze snapped back to Mrs. Franklin. "Have I done-"

  She held up her hand again. "No. But do I make my point?"

  "I believe you do," I said coldly.

  "Excellent. We have a rule in this room. What is said in this room stays in this room. If you break that rule, you will leave us very angry with you. Am I clear?"

  "And if I leave, will that anger you?"

  "No. It will disappoint us. Perhaps you should hold your decision another minute."

  "Fine. I don't care to be threatened."

  "Every woman in this room has received the same threat," Mrs. Franklin said. "We all live by that rule. You shouldn't take it personally. We simply wish to be clear."

  "I understand."

  "Good. We wish to tell you something. We require a vow of silence. If you are unable to offer the vow, we'll all head upstairs, chat amiably for another hour or so, and then
be on our way."

  "And will I find myself the target of undesired attention in the future?"

  "Not at all."

  I looked around the room again.

  "I will say one more thing. What we are about to tell you is not in reference to anything illegal, unethical, or even immoral. We are not about to confess to some heinous crime and then expect you to maintain your silence."

  I thought about it carefully. "All right," I said slowly.

  "I wish an actual vow," she said.

  "Fine. I vow to repeat nothing I am told in this room, subject to the conditions you just stipulated."

  "You will at this point also vow to never mention this room or that there are meetings in this room. The evening was a simple dinner party in which you met a number of intriguing people and had a nice time."

  I nodded. "I so vow, provided I don't learn about something illegal."

  "Good," she said. She looked around, and the two women on either side of her nodded.

  "Before we continue, I wish to ask a question. Ms. Todd, you have been living in West Hollow for a little over a year. When you first moved here, we asked you a question. At the time you indicated you weren't sure. I wondered if you have solidified your expectations. Do you intend to make West Hollow your permanent residence?"

  "I have no intention of moving," I replied. "Life can change, but as was suggested, the house has grown on me. It's still too big, but I've grown quite comfortable." I smiled. "I'm not sure I'd feel the same way if I were responsible for the heating bills."

  "Quite so," Mrs. Franklin agreed. "We're pleased to hear you believe you will keep your home as a Todd house. No one here wanted to think of it in any other hands."

  I lowered my eyes, touched by her words.

  "Well then," she continued after a moment. "You have given your vow, and so I will say this. The women in this room represent a secret society."

  My eyes snapped up to meet hers.

  "You are here because we wish to invite you to become a member." She smiled. "I will repeat what I said early. We do not engage in illegal activities. We do not cover up illegal activities, or at least nothing significantly more illegal than driving too fast. Membership in our organization will never leave you an accessory to something from Ms. Appleton's books."

  I stared. She smiled again. "Did you want to leave now?"