‘Love the Jungle Book,’ he said.
‘Yes. All of those Disney films are great.’
‘Aren’t the princess ones considered old-fashioned these days?’ he said.
I shrugged. ‘Disney have moved with the times and created new ones with strong female leads, as well. Have you ever read the original fairy tales?’
‘Not read but heard of. In the original seventeenth-century version of Sleeping Beauty –’
‘She’s attacked in her sleep.’ I grimaced.
He nodded. ‘And wakes up having given birth to two children.’
‘I think I prefer the Disney versions – even though real life isn’t like that.’ I smiled. ‘Originally the queen told the huntsman to bring back Snow White’s lungs and liver, so that she could eat them for dinner. I guess that’s a little bit too disgusting for a twenty-first-century child.’
Elle appeared with packets of sausages and burgers, singing along to the next song, ‘The Bare Necessities’. April beckoned to her. She and Louise had sat down on a rug I had put down, outside the tent. The blind cat, wearing a lead, was sitting on April’s lap. Elle went over and beamed as they invited her to join them. Whilst Noah cooked, I set the table – a bigger picnic one on the patio. To my delight the pound shop stocked themed party napkins, and I’d found some cute ones, covered with drawings of elephants and giraffes.
April’s laughter tinkled through the air and I let out a sigh of satisfaction. Right at this moment, I was the happiest I’d been for a long time, even though I worried about money, April’s new school, my future. And it had felt kind of cathartic cutting up my wedding dress.
I glanced sideways at Noah as he turned over the meat. ‘Thanks,’ I said.
His eyes widened.
‘For taking us in. For not asking questions. For giving us privacy. Yet, at the same time, welcoming us into your lives.’
‘And for paying you the minimum wage?’ He smiled. ‘I suspect, in time, you’ll need to move on.’
My stomach scrunched. ‘Is that your way of saying …? Do tell me if you’d like us to leave.’
‘Jenny! Of course not. Your appalling running skills boost my ego every morning and if April goes Buttercup might not get fed.’ He smiled. ‘I just meant that at the moment I can’t afford to pay you more, and no doubt you’ll be looking towards your future anyway. I can’t see you as a waitress for ever.’
I moved closer to him to avoid the smoke. ‘What I earn isn’t so bad if you consider I’m getting free lodgings. And eventually I’ll receive a settlement from Zak.’ I bit my thumbnail. ‘Not that I want a penny for myself. But I don’t want April to miss out on anything she needs. I love working in the coffee shop. That rich smell in the morning that wakes me up. Chatting with the customers and seeing their satisfaction on eating a delicious slice of cake. Nothing gives me more pleasure than watching their faces light up when they’ve come in looking as if the world was about to end.’
Noah stared at me. ‘Yes. You get it. There is a lot more to running a café than just feeding and watering people. It can be a lifeline for some. Like old Mr Bray.’
I nodded. ‘Losing Beryl hit him hard. But hasn’t he come in here every day since?’
‘Bang on eleven o’clock. With the newspaper. He stays a couple of hours. Loves his lattes. Elle or I usually join him for a quick chat.’
‘And his boiled sweets …’
Noah grinned. ‘Pear drops yesterday. He handed them around the whole room.’
‘He does the same at the hairdresser’s where his wife used to go. Apparently he calls in every afternoon and makes sure each member of staff gets a bonbon.’ I cleared my throat. ‘So, in my view, life is good at the moment.’ Although Noah was right in one way – I couldn’t stop thinking about taking up clothes design again. Was it too late to rediscover my passion? I guessed there was only one way to find out and made a mental note to pop out to the stationer’s tomorrow and buy a large pad of plain paper and some coloured pencils.
Something knocked against my feet and I bent down to look. I laughed and picked up the hamster ball. The poor little thing was going to be worn out. I headed over to April, Elle, and Louise. I placed the plastic ball on the rug next to them and went indoors to fetch a bottle of wine, which should have chilled by now. I took it back outside and opened it at the picnic table.
‘Noah?’ I said and raised a glass to him. ‘A bargain at half-price.’
He shook his head. ‘Not for me. We’re up early, remember – running.’
‘What, even at the weekend?’
‘Of course.’
‘I’ll need this, then,’ I said and pulled a face.
‘I’ll have his,’ called Elle and she laughed. I grinned back at her, kind of admiring Noah’s full commitment to his healthy lifestyle. I poured out a glass for Elle. Then I took mine and stood next to Noah again, my stomach rumbling at the sight of charcoaled beef burgers.
‘That smells so good.’ My shoulders relaxed. Thank goodness the zookeeper evening was proving to be a success. In fact, April was still chattering about it hours later, after Louise had left. As a treat, I let her stay up late and she and Elle sat in the tent with torches, eating marshmallows that had been held over the barbecue coals. Noah and I sat on the grass by the stream, like we had after our morning run. I could just make out his face in the moonlight. As the evening chill descended, I shivered.
‘Cold?’ asked Noah.
My heart raced as he slipped an arm around my shoulders and just for a second I felt like I was in the safest spot in the world. As his fingers spread across my skin, I had to force myself to stare ahead. It was as if a magnetic force within him was pulling my lips to meet his.
‘Don’t worry, Jenny.’
Damn. I’d have to turn to face him and battle to resist that soft, warm mouth.
‘About what? You making a move on me?’
‘No, I didn’t mean that. I’m just keeping you warm.’
Oh.
He chuckled and then spoke with a more serious tone. ‘About the future. Things will work out. At one point I never thought life would improve. But it did.’
Now I studied his face, not sure if I should take the conversation further. ‘Did you live in London long?’
‘Moved straight there from university.’
‘What did you study?’
‘Business and economics.’
‘Ah.’ I smiled. ‘That would explain why I sometimes have no idea what you’re talking about, when you try to explain tax or profit margins. It’s so cool that you are really putting all that knowledge to practical use now.’
He squeezed me before letting his arm drop away. ‘And talking of cool, you’re shivering. How about I make hot chocolates all around?’
He stood up and stretched out his hand. I slipped my fingers into his and he pulled me up. We stared at each other for a second. He opened his mouth as if to speak and then closed it again. Accompanied by the hoot of an owl, we headed indoors.
Chapter Fifteen
Oh my word. I looked across the table at Elle and we both grinned. It was Wednesday, and the day of our shopping trip. We were sitting in Comberfield’s ice cream parlour, called Dairy Delights – recommended to us by Tom’s mum. Susie had advised me to wear clothes with an elasticated waist. I gazed down again at the tall glass filled with sponge, custard, vanilla ice cream, whipped cream, and cherries. Then my eyes moved to Elle’s glass, overflowing with brownies, chocolate ice cream, and honeycomb clusters.
‘I daren’t imagine the calories in this,’ said Elle. ‘Just when I’ve decided to go on a diet.’
‘Diet?’ My eyes widened. ‘You’ve got a fantastic figure. Curves in all the right places. You proved that this morning by making those clothes we bought for you look better on your body than the rail.’
She blushed and, gosh, it looked as if tears threatened.
‘You have no idea how much that mea
ns,’ she said in a wavering voice and wiped her eyes. ‘Sorry. It’s not like me to be overemotional.’
I smiled. ‘No problem. Is it your time of the month?’
She blushed deeper.
‘Oh God, sorry, Elle – I didn’t mean to be personal. It’s just last week I was due and spent a good half an hour crying over the death of my latest book hero!’
She sniffed and gave me a small grin. ‘Come on. Let’s eat these desserts.’ She dug her spoon in. ‘So, um, which of my outfits suits me best?’
Elle was an enigma. The same age as me, yet she sometimes seemed so unversed in the ways of the female world. She was like an elderly aunt who’d failed to keep up with the latest fashions. And there was nothing wrong with that but I got the feeling that Elle would love to be more on-trend. This naivety brought out a protective instinct in me that I’d never felt for an adult friend.
Apart from Celia, Zak’s mum. She was the last person who needed anyone else to look out for her, but when she was ill … my eyes pricked. I’d wanted to shield her from the final prognosis. But Celia was a realist and insisted the doctor speak plainly, even though he spoke of remaining weeks, not months. And then there was Chanelle … My stomach twisted. I’d felt protective of her when her nail salon had started to fail. And then so pleased when she’d found an investor. What a fool.
I sat more upright and addressed Elle’s question about her new clothes, as ice cream melted across my tongue.
‘Definitely the chocolate and lime dress. With your new hair and curvy figure you can really carry it off. The perfect outfit for a hot date. Men will be queuing up to take you out.’
The corners of her mouth dropped. ‘I doubt that.’
I chewed on a cherry and eyed her closely.
Elle caught my stare. ‘Guess my heart still needs un-breaking.’
‘And that’s the job of a new man,’ I said, gently.
She shoved the biggest piece of brownie into her mouth.
‘Anyway, we are independent, strong women who have no need whatsoever for the opposite sex.’
‘I won’t tell you about the movie on tonight, then,’ said Elle, ‘starring Chris Hemsworth.’
I laughed. ‘So who is your celebrity crush?’
‘You first,’ she said coyly.
‘Easy-peasy. Benedict Cumberbatch. He’s handsome. Intelligent. Funny.’
‘Toby Smithson from that reality chef school show I’ve been watching,’ she mumbled.
‘He must be at least five years younger than you,’ I teased. ‘Elle! You cougar!’
She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. ‘Well, we are talking fantasy, right? In reality I’d probably feel more at home with Ricky Gervais. He’d make me laugh. I love him in The Office. Or Vince Vaughn. He’s got a great sense of humour and is gorgeous.’
Elle really was the sweetest person.
‘So how did April get on at Tom’s last night? I didn’t catch her for a chat, before she went to bed.’
‘No, she had a spelling test today to work for.’ I wiped my mouth. ‘It went great. She and Tom cycled for hours. Susie went out, now and again, to make sure they were only on quiet roads as April’s not very experienced. She loved the bike Zak bought her at the weekend. It’s a bit scratched but works like brand new.’
‘Is she any way near forgiving him yet?’
‘She didn’t hug him goodbye. Early days I guess.’ I spooned in another mouthful of yumminess. ‘Susie is great. She’s given me a whole load of recipes to try. April loved the spaghetti Bolognese she ate last night and even enjoyed crumble and custard afterwards.’ I fiddled with my spoon and hesitated before speaking. ‘Can I ask you something, Elle? Do you … do you think April looks a bit thin?’
Elle wiped her mouth with a napkin. ‘A little, if I’m honest. Why? Is there a problem?’
I let out a long sigh. ‘Zak never took it seriously. For most of the last year she has steadily lost weight. And apparently she’s been giving her lunch break cake to Tom.’
‘Was anything worrying her when it started – that you know about?’
‘Not really. I mean Zak and me – it’s not like we had spent weeks arguing. His affair, it came out of the blue. I’m pretty sure it’s down to peer pressure at her old school and slim celebrity role models.’ I told her about Skye. The new clique. The grown-up clothes and parties. ‘Well, you’re a woman. You know how it is. So many pressures these days to look a particular way. I guess that affects children as well.’ My voice wobbled. ‘I can’t believe I didn’t see what was happening. I feel like I let April down. All the work I put in to fit into Zak’s world and the popular set of mums. I couldn’t see what sort of example I was setting and I realize now that I kind of lost myself at the same time.’
Elle reached across the table and squeezed my hand. ‘Sometimes we don’t see the obvious in life. The important thing is to act on it when we do. At least she is eating her meals – the basics, anyway. And she’s now away from that environment.’
For the time being, anyway, I said to myself, and my chest constricted. ‘Yes. And eating pudding – that crumble last night was a first. I guess change isn’t going to happen overnight.’ I forced a smile. ‘At least the last thing Tom is going to want to talk about with her is calories and thigh gaps.’
‘Why don’t you have a quiet word with the school? Ask them to keep an eye out at lunch and check she is eating her sandwiches?’
I sat more upright. ‘That’s a great idea. It would put my mind at rest. At least she doesn’t seem to have lost much more weight since moving into the cottage.’
‘She ate well at the zookeeper barbecue – must have burnt up a load of energy chasing that hamster in the wheel!’
I smiled. ‘Thanks, Elle. For listening. I really appreciate it. You … and Noah. I don’t know what I would have done without you both, these last weeks.’
‘We love having you and April to stay,’ she said. ‘Noah and I moved to Laventon hoping for a different – a better – way of life and one year on haven’t been disappointed.’
‘I’m sorry you both had a rough patch before coming here. Life stinks sometimes, doesn’t it?’ I studied her. The hospital appointment on Friday. Perhaps Elle had suffered some sort of serious health scare. ‘You can always talk to me, you know. I’m good at keeping secrets. Take Gina, my best friend at school. I’ve never told anyone how she faked her mum’s signature every week on a health note, to get out of PE.’
‘You just did.’
‘What?’
‘Told someone.’
I stuck out my tongue. ‘Seriously though. I’ve always wanted someone to share problems with. I don’t mean a partner. I mean a good friend. I’ve felt lonely dealing with the fallout of Zak’s infidelity but slowly, with you and Noah, I don’t feel like that any more.’
Elle stared at me. ‘I can relate to that. Loneliness is the worst feeling in the world.’
‘This hospital appointment, I hope everything is okay. And if you need anyone to go with you, I’m sure Noah and I could –’
‘No! It’s not like that. The appointment – I’m looking forward to it. I mean …’ She squirmed in her seat.
‘It’s okay, Elle. Ignore me. Sometimes I’ve got a nose longer than Pinocchio’s.’
We sat in silence for a while and finished our sundaes.
‘Oh my. I feel Christmas-dinner full.’ I patted my stomach. ‘Have we got room for a coffee? I need a caffeine hit to keep me awake.’
Thoughtful since our last conversation, Elle nodded. We both checked our phones until the steaming drinks arrived.
‘You know the guy called Dale I talked about?’ she suddenly blurted out, as the waitress went away.
‘You fell in love with him but it didn’t work out?’
Elle fiddled with her teaspoon. ‘He got such a shock when I told him. You see, we were best mates at first.’
‘How did you meet?’ I l
eant forward.
‘In my old job. The company Noah and I used to work for. Dale and I shared a desk.’
‘Long hair and tattoos, didn’t you say?’
Her face broke into a smile. ‘And he had the broadest shoulders. I thought they could bear any weight.’
I raised an eyebrow.
‘You see, when I told him about my true feelings …’ She took a large glug of coffee. ‘Do you know what my name means in French, Jenny?’
‘She?’
Elle nodded. ‘I chose it myself; I changed my old name by deed poll.’
‘What did you used to be called?’
She stared at her cup of coffee.
‘It can’t be that bad!’ I said. ‘Don’t tell anyone, but my middle name is Agnes, after an old aunt!’
Cheeks pale, Elle looked up at me. ‘John. My old name was John.’
I burst out laughing. ‘God, sorry, Elle. I didn’t mean to laugh, it’s just … you’re joking, right? Otherwise, why on earth did your parents call you that?’
Elle stared hard as if willing me to understand. Finally she sighed. ‘Because until my late twenties, to the outside world … I was a man.’
The room spun for a second. I put down my coffee cup. I closed my mouth, aware that my jaw had fallen open.
‘A man? You mean? No, but … really? That’s because … you’ve had a sex change?’
Her eyes glistened. ‘Yes. I finally had the surgery a few months before moving here. I’m a transwoman.’ She seemed to hold her breath, waiting for my reaction. ‘Go on. Ask any question you like,’ she said in a tone that shouted: ‘get it over with’.
I bit my bottom lip.
‘Gosh … I mean …’
Though of course, slowly it all made sense. The absence of experience when it came to most things womanly. The lack of dress sense. The thrill in her eyes when we’d done lunch or went shopping together today. How happy she seemed when I made any comment implying she was a woman and would understand. And perhaps that was why Noah had shown so much support of her new hairstyle.
The New Beginnings Coffee Club Page 17
