‘I wondered about having a magazine and newspaper rack. Until things are back to normal, we are going to have to diversify.’ He rubbed his hands together. ‘It’s going to be a big challenge.’
‘Why don’t we hold a brainstorming session tonight? I know – we could set up a book club one night a week and serve coffee and cake during that?’
His eyes lit up. ‘Great idea! But no Paddington Bear.’
I stuck my tongue out at him, as the doorbell rang, and I looked at my watch. ‘Three o’clock already. That will be the first guest.’
Freckles scattered across her nose, April charged into the kitchen. ‘Tom!’ she said and gave the biggest grin. ‘He just texted to say his mum has parked up outside.’
Fifteen minutes later the garden was bustling. I left the kitchen door open so that we could hear the doorbell. Postie and Steph turned up hand in hand, even though they’d only been together a week.
‘She makes the most amazing beef dumpling stew,’ he’d said to me. ‘A lost art in these health-obsessed, carb-free times.’
‘His jokes are the worst,’ she’d said with a laugh. ‘But I’ll take them. A bad joke’s better than no joke any day. And his kisses are divine.’
Mrs Carlton arrived to coo over Buttercup who spent the afternoon chasing imaginary birds across the lawn. Postie’s daughter, Louise, sang songs with April and they managed to teach Elle the words to Beyoncé’s ‘Single Ladies’, along with a few dance moves. Noah refused point blank to join in and a laughing April eventually raced him down to the bottom of the garden where they fed unwanted sandwiches to the ducks. Martini, bless her, insisted on helping keep glasses and plates replenished and got giggly after one too many glasses of Prosecco.
Taking a moment’s break from his guests, Noah sidled over to me. ‘You know Postie’s brother is a builder? Apparently he’s offered to give me a quote for the structural repairs, at mates’ rates.’
My face broke into a grin. ‘Fantastic. And Steph said she’d decorated her salon all by herself.’
Noah let out a low whistle. ‘Really? It looks so professional.’
‘She says she’s always taken an interest in interior design and can hook us up with some cheap suppliers – will even help us with the painting, when we get to that point. And Susie belongs to a writing group. At the moment they meet up in the church hall but it’s too big and draughty in the winter, and they have to take their own drinks in flasks. She reckoned they’d happily move to meeting up at The Coffee Club.’
‘Wow. I don’t know what to say.’ His phone bleeped. ‘Hold on, I’ve got a text.’ He glanced at the screen and his face turned white. He stood up and slowly walked down to the stream. Stomach churning, I gave him a few moments and then followed.
‘Who was that?’ I asked.
He turned around, eyes shiny. ‘As if you don’t know.’
My stomach twisted. ‘Look, Noah. Sorry. I couldn’t just stand by and see your pain. I thought if I contacted them, then …’
His voice wobbled. ‘They’ve agreed to consider meeting up; said they can’t believe the way I’ve turned my life around. You told them I was two years sober?’
‘Yes.’ My heart thumped. ‘I wondered if your parents’ number might still be in your phone and luckily it was. I rang them this morning. Told them how you’d taken me and April in. They sounded … relieved to hear about you.’ My throat felt scratchy and dry. ‘I hope you don’t mind me sticking my nose in.’
Noah was still shaking his head in disbelief. ‘They even wished me a happy birthday, Jenny. Perhaps there is a chance.’
‘Everything okay?’ asked Elle striding across the garden. She slipped an arm around Noah’s shoulders as the ache in my throat lessened.
‘It’s Mum and Dad,’ he said.
April called my name from a distance and I left Noah and Elle to chat.
Eventually, guests started to drift away. Martini had grandchildren to babysit. Postie and Steph were off to the cinema. Tom pulled a face as Susie reminded him he still had homework to do. Mrs Carlton wanted to get back to check on Marmalade who’d had a stomach upset. Until finally, the house was quiet, with April sitting on the lawn doing her maths and Elle and me drinking tea on the patio. I jumped as the lounge door opened. Noah came out. I stood up and hesitated for a moment. Then he gave me the biggest hug.
‘Thank you, Jenny. Thank you with all my heart.’ He sat down opposite us. ‘I know it’s early days but I’m ringing Mum and Dad next week. It’s going to be great to talk. We’ve exchanged a few texts.’ He shook his head. ‘I never knew my granddad was an alcoholic. Mum had a terrible childhood. Him picking on Grandma. Spending all their money on booze. That’s why Mum found my problems so difficult. She said it was easier to cut me out of her life because my behaviour brought back such bad memories.’ His eyes glistened for a moment.
‘That makes sense,’ said Elle gently. ‘But what about your grandma?’
Noah bit his top lip. ‘Mum said Grandma had always viewed Granddad as being ill. That’s why she stuck by him. Eventually he got treatment and by the time I came along he was fine. But Mum found it hard to forget.’ His voice wobbled. ‘Apparently Grandma forgave me at the end. Told my parents that she knew my actions didn’t belong to the real me.’ His voice broke. ‘It’s incredible. There’s actually a chance that we might make things up – that they might be a part of my new life here.’ He gave me one of his boyish smiles.
Elle’s face tinged pink. ‘I’ve been thinking – perhaps I should move out, what with you two getting closer.’
‘Don’t you dare!’ said Noah and sat upright.
‘I can’t get up in the morning unless I hear your out-of-tune singing!’ I added and took her hand. ‘I would have told you about me and Noah, Elle – I mean, you know you’re my new best mate, right?’
Now her ears went red.
‘We just – it took a while to be sure and …’
She leant forward and hugged me tight. ‘It’s okay. Honestly.’ She grimaced. ‘Anyway, I’m not sure I want to hear any details about what Noah’s like as a boyfriend.’
We all chuckled.
‘Well done, Jenny, for completing the race. For helping Noah have a chance with his parents,’ said Elle. ‘You’re an amazing woman.’
Heat surged into my cheeks. ‘Back atcha.’ I gave her a hug.
‘Don’t forget me!’ squealed a voice and April clambered onto my lap laughing, as Elle leant in again and grabbed a bemused Noah on the way.
Arms wrapped around shoulders and backs, the four of us squeezed each other tight. We’d all faced and embraced new beginnings. My chest glowed as I thought about the change in April and how she’d blossomed since connecting with her more down-to-earth, unsophisticated side. I’d ditched the superficial lifestyle I’d adopted since meeting Zak, and found a new sense of self-worth in providing for April and setting up my own business. As for Elle, she’d faced her gender issues head on and – like me and April – changed the outer image to match the inside. Noah, too, had honoured his true identity by ignoring the insidious, inner soundtrack of his addiction and rediscovering his genuine ideals.
The four of us had finally listened to the right voices, inside. Not the demon ones in our heads that led us astray, but the ones from our hearts. The ones that know that in order to get everything you want, you have to be true to yourself.
Acknowledgements
Firstly, thanks to my wonderful editor Victoria Oundjian. Her dedication to challenging my writing and taking it to the next level is immensely appreciated – even though appreciation isn’t quite the word that first pops into my heads, when the revisions email slips into my inbox! Thanks to the super HQDigital design team, as well. I LOVE this cover.
Thanks to my much-valued agent, Clare Wallace, whose support and perspective act as a travel sickness pill along the rollercoaster ride that is an author’s career.
HQDigital author squa
d, you are AMAZING! Thanks to the collective listening ear. You are the best.
I’d also like to gratefully mention all the bloggers out there, who tirelessly offer up their free time to support us writers –a wonderful bunch of folk who help make this job as rewarding as it is.
Martin, Immy and Jay, your unstinting love and support over the last year have meant everything. Thank you XXX
Finally, lovely readers, I hope you enjoy this story. Thanks for your continued interest, for the reviews, messages, enthusiasm and fun on social media. You are my inspiration on those days when writer’s block strikes. And interacting with you, online, provides a most welcome distraction when work gets tough. I love hearing your feedback and if you’d like to connect, my links are below.
This novel is all about starting over. About finding yourself. It’s written from the heart and I hope the story resonates. As the great William Shakespeare said, “To thine own self be true”. You can be the most amazing version of yourselves. You’ll only ever be a second-rate version of someone else.
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Copyright
An imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd.
1 London Bridge Street
London SE1 9GF
First published in Great Britain by HQ in 2017
Copyright © Samantha Tonge 2017
Samantha Tonge asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.
A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.
All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins.
E-book Edition May 2017 ISBN: 978-0-00-823916-9
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