by J. R. Ayers
“No, it can’t. But the main thing today is to get you fixed up.”
“Will it hurt?”
“Just breathe deeply when they administer the ether. I’m glad I don’t have to watch it.”
“But you will be on night duty tonight won’t you?”
“Yes. But you won’t care.”
“Sure I will. I can’t wait to be with you again.”
“We’ll see. Tell me Jack, how many girls have you loved?”
“Only you.”
“No, really, how many?”
“Only you, my dear.”
“How many have you shared a bed with?”
“Zero.”
“You’re lying.”
“Yes, I suppose I am.”
“That’s alright. Just keep lying to me. That way I know where to set boundaries. Were they pretty? These other girls?”
“I’ve never spent the night with anyone but you.”
“Really? So what did you talk about, you and these girls? Did you discuss prices? Or did you just lie to them too?”
“Marie, I’m going under the knife soon. You’re upsetting me. That can’t be good for my disposition.”
“Will you two keep it down,” Corporal Campbell said from his bed. “I’ve been trying to get some sleep all night but you two keeping making noise. Take it outside will you.”
“They’re going to cut me soon, Carl.”
“Good, maybe you’ll be out for awhile and I can get some rest.” He rolled over giving them his back and pulled the covers over his head.”
Outside the sun shone weakly behind brooding clouds. “Great,” Jack said. No wonder Carl’s so grouchy. My surgery day and it has to be all dark and gloomy.”
“You’ll sleep through it all,” Marie said. “When you wake up it’ll be dark and I’ll be standing by your bed waiting to help you with the chamber pot as you throw up your guts.”
“That bad huh?”
“Just being honest. I don’t want you to accuse me of not warning you when you’re racked with pain and whimpering like a little child.”
Chapter 15
Jack awoke from the surgery feeling as if he had been dead. It wasn’t a feeling like being asleep; the hours he’d been away seemed to have simply vanished from his very existence. A harsh chemical taste lay heavy on his tongue and when he threw up, nothing but bile came out in long ropy strands that clung to the side of the chamber pot prompting him to gag all the more.
Nurse Brewster was at the foot of his bed measuring out a brown liquid with a small dropper. “Oh, I see you’re awake,” she said brightly. “How are you feeling, Corporal Saylor?”
“How long have I been out?” Jack croaked.
“About six hours. The doctor did a great job on your shoulder. You shouldn’t talk so much. The ether makes your throat raw. You’d do better just being quiet for a while.”
Jack was as sick as a dog. Marie had been right, it didn’t matter who the night duty nurse was, just so long as someone showed up to wipe his sweaty brow and keep his water pitcher filled. It turned out to be Lisette Babeneaux who’d agreed to stay over for a week to assist with the wounded newly arrived from Galveston. There were two new men in the ward when Jack came to his senses. One was a private from Sibley’s unit who was shot by a sniper while on guard duty outside Galveston. The second man was a conscript from Austin who’d befallen a wagon accident wherein his legs were crushed under the weight of the heavy cargo. Both men were severely wounded and a small crowd of doctors and nurses including the surgeon who had operated on Jack’s shoulder surrounded their beds located on the south wall.
Nurse Brewster fluffed up Jack’s pillow and gave him a dose of laudanum. “I saw your sweetheart earlier,” she said coyly.
“My sweetheart?”
“Nurse Hayes. She is very beautiful.”
“We’re going to be married, you know.”
“I highly doubt that.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re a soldier. You’ll die before you ever get married.”
Jack touched her on the arm and she quickly drew away. “Don’t touch me,” she said. “Maybe you’ll make it through this war. Maybe you will survive and marry Nurse Hayes. But people change. Sick people are often very emotional. They say things and promise things and then when they get better, well . . .”
“You have the wrong man, Nurse Brewster.”
“Just don’t get her into trouble. She’s young. Don’t hurt her.”
“I won’t get her into trouble. I’m going to marry her.”
“I just don’t want to see her with a baby and a dead husband. She’s too young to be a widow.”
“You know, you’re saying things that just might not be any of your business, ma’am.”
“Nurses are a sisterhood, Corporal Saylor. I’m concerned about all my sisters, whether they like me personally or not.”
“You’re an exceptional woman, Nurse Brewster.”
“I’m nothing of the sort. And I don’t suffer flattery. By the way how’s your head feeling?”
“Fine.”
“You’re a lucky young man to have such a strong constitution.”
“Tell that to my shoulder.”
Nurse Lisette took over for Nurse Brewster and set about arranging the bedside accoutrements to suit her particular taste.
“So, Corporal Saylor, how’s our favorite patient doing?” she asked.
“Me?” I thought Carl was.”
“I suppose all our patients are my favorite. I talked to your Nurse Hayes. Nice girl. And very pretty.”
“Yes ma’am. And she isn’t mean like some of the others.”
“You mean Nurse Brewster?”
“And others. That head nurse is very by the book.”
“Mrs. Styles? Ah yes, she doesn’t take much guff, that’s for sure. I’ll bring some mineral oil for your shoulder. It will keep the bandaging moist.” She leaned over near Jack’s face and said,
“Don’t forget, I’m your friend.”
“I know.”
“I don’t think you do. But you will, some day.”
Chapter 16
A week passed and Jack and Marie spent as much time together as they dared. They even went for a buggy ride on a couple of occasions rolling along Morgan Street taking in the ambiance of the business district west of the hospital. They held hands and looked into each other’s eyes and whispered conspiratorially whenever someone they thought they knew came within earshot.
Anytime Marie could get a shift off and Jack could convince Mrs. Styles to give him a brief respite from the ward, they would meet in a local eatery and talk over lunch and plan for the day when Jack would be discharged from the hospital. The waiters guessed they were in love and brought to the table candles with green shades and clean tablecloths and jugs of wine with a price tag Jack could afford on a Corporal’s wages.
After lunch they walked along the sidewalks past the shops with colorful banners and displays of fruit or vegetables or glass cases of sausages and small brown cakes glazed with sugary icing about as long and wide as a man’s thumb. Marie said she thought they were called whoopee pies and Jack said they weren’t pies at all and Marie said it didn’t matter what they were called because they were so delicately delicious.
Afterward Marie would return to her duties and Jack would sit by the window and talk with Campbell until his face ached too badly for conversation then Jack would talk to the other men about the war and their homes and family while all the time thinking of Marie Hayes and when they could again be alone together.
She worked as many night shifts as possible and sometimes late at night they would steal away to a linen closet and hurriedly love each other and plan their wedding day and discuss where they would live after the war and love each other again before parting with regret like school children after a Spring dance.
The nights were lonely for Jack, especially the ones when Marie was off shift and the nurses on duty only s
topped in to refresh water pitchers and replace chamber pots and dole out medicine to those men still gravely ill from their injuries. Jack’s shoulder was on the mend but he was still fighting infection and the wound on his head refused to scab over, probably due to the massive amounts of anti-infection drugs he was forced to ingest.
When possible he and Marie would meet at a café and drink strong coffee and discuss wedding plans. Once the conversation turned tense when Marie inadvertently mentioned she had planned a wedding at an earlier time.
“Charles again?” Jack complained.
“I only mention it to illustrate how complicated getting married can be,” she said.
“What’s so complicated? We find a preacher or a priest and say our vows and then we’re married in the sight of God.”
“Oh, my dear Jack, you don’t have a clue how a woman thinks do you?”
“I thought girls wanted to get married.”
“They do. But, they like to plan. Getting married is a very special occasion for a woman.”
“I can understand that. But I don’t want to hear anymore about Charles.”
“You shouldn’t be jealous of a dead man.”
“I’m not jealous. Just don’t want to hear about your past loves, that’s all.”
“And yet I have to hear about all the girls you’ve had.”
“It’s different with men.”
“How so, Jack?”
“You women own the garden. We men plant the seed, but you girls own the rich soil where life germinates. You have to protect your gardens. You can’t let just any seed in.” She stared at him, fascinated by his convoluted logic.
“I think you’ve been over medicated,” she said, “Either that or that wound on your head has negatively affected your brain.”
“Not so. Think about it. You’ve been given by God the huge responsibility of conceiving and delivering a living being. That’s powerful.”
“You mentioned God. So you’re religious now?”
“I believe in a higher power. Don’t you?
“Sometimes I wonder.”
“But you gave me the Saint Christopher.”
“That was more a token of good luck.”
“How lucky can it be if Charles was killed while wearing it?”
“You said we were not to mention Charles again.”
“And we won’t. I don’t see why you’re so out of sorts about a wedding.”
“I just told you.
“The way I see it, we’re already married. In spirit and commitment anyway. We just have to make it official by having a member of the clergy bless our Union so we’ll be acceptable to society and God.”
“But I don’t want to rush things,” she said. “I want it to be special.”
“What if something happens to me?” Jack countered. “What if you had a child before you became my wife? What then, Marie? Have you thought about these things at all?”
“Of course I have, I’m not a fool. Jack.”
“So, nothing worries you?”
“Only being sent away from here before you’re well. You’ll be so sick of me being around that you’ll beg for me to be transferred.”
“I’ll have to go back to Brownsville very soon.”
“Let’s not talk about that right now.”
“Will you come to see me tonight?”
“Yes, right after I’ve settled the patients for the night.”
Chapter 17
The next two weeks went by slowly. Jack’s wounds had healed appreciably and he was just waiting for the doctor to sign release papers so the Army could schedule a transport date to send him back to his regiment in Brownsville. The days were not as hot as before as fall was rapidly approaching and Jack spent most of his days sitting in the sun outside the hospital reading about the war. The Confederates were winning important battles along the Atlantic coast region but it was clear by the enormous loss of life and the surrender of railroads and key supply routes that the south was slowly and execrably losing the war.
A man specializing in the manipulation of injured limbs came down from San Antonio and spent an hour a day putting Jack’s shoulder through the paces by using a series of repetitive arm movements and mechanical weight therapy. Specialists arrived to work on Corporal Campbell’s facial wounds as well. His speech was greatly improved, as was his confidence. He’d taken a strong liking to Nurse Lisette and was constantly asking her to go on a train ride with him, even if that meant the ride would have to take place in the relative privacy of a linen closet in the wee hours of the morning. Whether or not she ever accepted the invitation was an oft speculated topic of conversation in the ward whenever Nurse Lisette was off duty and Corporal Campbell was out of earshot.
As far as Jack was concerned all he wanted to do was see Marie Hayes. The rest of the time he was happy to pass the hours reading newspapers and chatting with his fellow patients. Sometimes he would go down to the lobby and sit in one of the leather-bound chairs and watch the people walking on the street in front of the hospital. If Marie would happen to enter or leave by the front door he would make a display of being interested in a particular column in the newspaper so as not to arouse suspicion, though he wasn’t particularly concerned what people might think. Mrs. Styles had relaxed her restrictive oversight to some degree having determined it was a waste of time trying to keep them apart.
The hospital remained busy throughout the remainder of Jack’s stay in Corpus Christi. Some days were still quite hot and Jack continued to soak up as much sun as possible, whether it be on a bench outside the hospital, or on a long walk with Marie or simply sitting by the window reading the newspaper.
In Mississippi, Vicksburg was in serious danger of falling to the Union Forces. Sherman was continuing his march to the sea and the Army of Northern Virginia was bogged down south of the Mason Dixon line hampered by a lack of supplies and dwindling manpower. It was not looking at all good for the Confederacy.
Marie was working the surgical ward and Jack was bored and missing her warm smile and tender touch, so he walked down the stairs and lingered by the door to the surgery until she came out for a break and then spirited her off to the quiet of the lobby for a chat. They sat in separate chairs with a table between them and spoke softly so as not to disturb the nurse behind the counter. There was a full moon that night but a mist hung over the town and as they spoke a gentle rain began to wet the cobblestone and brick surface of the street in front of the hospital.
“Listen, it’s raining outside,” Marie said.”
“Makes you want to crawl into bed, doesn’t it?” Jack said.
“You’re naughty, Jack. Can’t you think about anything else?”
“I love you, I want to be with you.”
“You’re with me right now.
“You know what I mean.”
“About that. . .”
“What?”
“I’m late.”
Jack glanced at a clock in the corner and said, “You have ten more minutes before your break is over.”
“I mean my time of the month is late.”
“Oh. How late?”
“Just a week. But I’ve always been regular. I’m worried.”
“Maybe it’s just. . .uh, maybe. . .”
“There’s a good chance that I’m pregnant, Jack. You need to start thinking about things. They’re sending you back soon. I don’t know if I can go with you right away. Not unless I quit the Nurses Corp and I signed a contract, so I might have to stay here and honor the agreement. What am I going to do if I am pregnant, Jack? What are we going to do? I’m so afraid.”
“What are you afraid of?”
“Of being an unwed mother. Of the shame. Of maybe losing you to the war, or just losing you when you go back. I’ll probably never hear from you again.”
“Don’t talk crazy.”
“I’m not!” The desk nurse looked up with a frown and Marie lowered her voice.
“I just need to know that you’ll
stand with me,” she said.
“Of course I will. But we need to slow down. You might not be with child after all. Don’t these things take time?”
“Yes Jack, exactly one second. That’s how long it takes to fertilize an egg. I do have medical training, you know.”
“But why are you so afraid?”
“I’m afraid because sometimes I dream and I see you dead and I see me kneeling beside your body wanting to die too.”
“Nobody can control their dreams, Marie. They’re just dreams. You don’t need to be afraid of them.”
“I love you, Jack,” she said her chin trembling.
It was then that Jack realized that his life had just taken a turn he did not see coming. And he wasn’t sure what he was going to do about it.
Chapter 18
In an effort to coax Marie from her dark mood Jack hired a carriage and they drove across town toward the sea port on the Gulf of Mexico. They could look across the plain beyond the town and see ranch houses and rich green gardens ripe with Indian corn and squash and pumpkins and fields of winter wheat waving like banners in the tentative breeze. There was a group of Calvary soldiers moving along the wharf walking their horses single file heading for a troop transport barge moored to the pier. Jack instructed the carriage driver to stop by the water for a while and they sat and watched the ships and boats coming and going on the clear blue waters of the gulf.
“You’ll be on one of those soon,” Marie said sadly.
“Not me, I going by train. When I go that is. I’m in no hurry.”
“But you’re healed Jack There’s no reason for you to be in the hospital any longer.”
“Sure there is.”
“And what would that be?”
“You, my dear, you.”
The carriage moved along and the sky grew dark and Jack knew more rain was on the way, so he offered Marie his coat and put his arm around her shoulder. They headed back to the hospital a little melancholy and reticent, each thinking of the impending separation they both knew was soon coming.
